11:30 am
Tokyo
I fucking feel like death. Huge dark circles under my bloodshot eyes, head pounding. Fucking 6th Sexiest Man Alive, my ass. If they could see me now...
Gonna try the gym and a steam to see if it helps. Maybe Dean has some chiropractic-herbal-reflexology-voodoo bullshit he can do to help keep my head from exploding. You know, like bend my big toe or some shit to release the energy of my sinus chopras, or what the fuck-ever.
Allegedly there's some pressure point on your foot that stimulates orgasm. Now THAT would be a useful piece of information to have -- to know where to push to get myself off when my wife's half a world away. A Cum-Button, ha ha.
But Dean ain't fucking doing it to me. He needs to just TELL me how to do it. Or maybe I can find it on YouTube. Every damned thing is on YouTube.
Maybe acupuncture would help. We ARE in the Orient, after all. At this point I'd stick needles in my fucking eyeballs if it would relieve the pressure. I could go out onstage with pins in my eyeballs and all over my face and do an Alice Cooper Zombie Show, ha ha.
Christ, this sucks. Gonna go call Cate and beg for sympathy and a little long-distance cuddling. Gonna be an interesting show tonight. If I don't die first.
Poor Johnny! Would like to see the Zombie show though! LOL!
ReplyDeletePoor Jonny!
ReplyDeletea)apply firm(painful)pressure to the tips of your fingers(except your thumb) till the pain starts going away. This will help with sinus pressure.
b)use your cupped fingers to firmly tap along your eyebrows and cheek bones to help your sinuses to drain.
c)steam is good, but add few drops of essential oil of eucalyptus to it!
d) and most importantly, your "Cum-Button" is located between your instep and your ankle. It does stimulate your prostate...(call me for hands on directions ;)
You're welcome!