Wednesday, December 1

1:25 pm
Tokyo

I swear, every woman in my life is crazy.  Every damned one.

I can say that here because my wife can't hear me.

Still feel like shit, FINALLY get to sleep after tossing and turning with a head full of snot, and I wake up to a ringing phone and my daughter crying.  Of course, that kills me.  But what's she crying about?  Her MOTHER.  Dorothea won't let her go to some teen-club-thing with Brendan tomorrow night.  On Thursday.  A school night.  So they have a knock-down-drag-out fight over it.  Not the first time they've done it, but then you know what my Darling Daughter says to her mother?

"I wish Cate was my Mom."

Fuck.

Of course that hurt Dorothea.  Badly.  Hell, it hurts ME. 

So how does my Irish ex-wife react?  She tells Steph to pack her bags and get out -- if she wants Cate to be her Mom, so be it.  She can live with Cate and me.

So what does my stubborn, headstrong, just-like-my-ex-wife daughter do?  She packs a bag, storms out of the apartment, gets in a cab, and disappears.  Of course Dorothea panics and calls Cate to tell her what happened and that Steph is headed her way.  Cate says okay, she'll keep an eye out and let Dorothea know when Steph arrives.  A few minutes later, Dorothea calls again.  Cate tells her she's got it covered, she'll call when Steph arrives.

 Haven't talked to Cate yet, but from what Dorothea told me the NEXT phone call wasn't pretty.  Apparently Dorothea, in the heat of the moment, said some things she shouldn't have and Cate reacted.  Strongly.

I have no doubt that was ugly.  Was probably even uglier when Cate hung up the phone and let loose.

So Cate is on the lookout for Steph.  She doesn't show.  An hour passes.  Dorothea is out of her mind, calling Steph's friends, everybody she can think of.  Meanwhile, Cate is on the phone with HER friends.  The ones with badges and guns.  I swear to God every NYPD Beat Cop in Manhattan was looking for my Little Girl.  They found her an hour later in Battery Park with Brendan, crying her eyes out and talking about running away with him. Cops took 'em both to the nearest precinct.

So, the cops call Cate, she's there in a flash, calling Dorothea on the way to let her know Steph's safe and she's going to get her.  Dorothea runs to the precinct and finds Cate lecturing Steph about the stupid shit she pulled, and goes all Protective Mama Bear.  Cate pulls her into an interview room and words were exchanged (Dorothea won't tell me what was said), but apparently it didn't end well.

Dorothea takes Steph home, Cate deals with Brendan, and everybody heads back to where they're supposed to be.  Steph is grounded for the rest of her natural life and sent to her room.  Then she calls me crying and tells me the whole story from her perspective.  I of course am Freaked the Fuck OUT at the thought of My Baby wandering the streets of NYC alone or running away with some Punk-Ass boyfriend and she's pouring on all the "Daddy, PLEASE talk to Mom.  It's SO not FAIR!"

My head is pounding, I've got Steph crying in my ear, and my hotel room phone rings.  It's Dorothea.  She can't get through to my cell and knows Steph's on the line with me.  So I hang up with Steph and promise to call her back, and try to deal with Dorothea who is now mad as Hell but beginning to feel bad about what happened with Cate.  I try to get her to tell me what happened -- ALL of it -- but she's too emotional.  So I have to calm HER down.  Finally leave things in agreement that Steph is grounded until we can move her to a Convent, and with me warning Dorothea that she'd better figure out how to fix things with Cate.  She's noncommittal on that, but I could tell from her voice that she was starting to feel really guilty.

So I get off the phone AGAIN, stumble into the bathroom and splash some water on my face and take a leak, then realize I need to call Cate.  That thought makes me queasy.  I have no idea where she is, what she's doing, what her state of  mind is.  Is she pissed?  Calm?  Sad?  Hurt?  What did Dorothea say to her and what did she tell Steph?

I love my wife dearly, but she admittedly doesn't have the Combat Parenting Skills Dorothea's developed over the years.  She's great with the kids and has a huge heart, but she's just never had to deal with the day-to-day crap.  But she's also done the Scared Straight routine with juvenile delinquents, and I'm a little worried she slipped into that role with Steph.

So I take a big breath and dial her Berry -- Nothing.  I call her office.  Nope.  Home.  Nope.  She's not answering.  She shouldn't be at work, she's definitely not out shopping -- she's avoiding me.  Finally I text her, telling her I know what happened, begging her to tell me she's okay.  The response I get?  "FINE."

That's it.  "FINE."  One fucking word.  

She is so NOT Fine.  And there's not a damned thing I can do about it.  I'm half a world away, trying to deal with all the shit here on the road.  I'm supposed to be resting, trying not to blow my voice, and I'm chattering like a damned squirrel on the phone to my kid and my ex, but I can't even get a word to or from my wife.

FUCK.

I've been tied up with press shit for the past hour, texting Cate in between interviews.  She's still not biting. No answer.  It's bedtime in the States, she's probably curled up under the blankets in our bed, staring at the TV, and either fuming or crying her eyes out.  And she's gonna fall asleep without talking to me, because she won't want to worry me or put me in an awkward position, or what the fuck ever.  I swear, sometimes she's so Hell-bent on protecting me she does more damage than good.  

I gotta find out what Dorothea said to her.  And what Steph said to her.

It's not fair Cate got dragged into this.  I know in my heart of hearts that deep down she doesn't blame Dorothea or Steph for whatever happened, but I have no doubt it's eating at her.  She's the one who found Steph, who ended the nightmare for Dorothea.  It could have been hours or worse if my wife wasn't a cop who could call in favors all over the City.  And what thanks does she get?  She gets caught in the middle of a Mother-Daughter battle and accused of who knows what.

And she won't even give me the fucking chance to try to help.  

Fucking crazy stubborn women.  WHY am I drawn to CRAZY STUBBORN WOMEN????  Goddamnit!!!

And now I gotta get ready to do a show, to go out tonight and pretend everything's fine in RockStarLand, that I'm happy to be here shaking my ass for all the girls, when all I wanna do is get in the damned jet and fly HOME and FIX THIS FUCKING MESS.

Christ, I gotta go to the gym and work off some of this stress or I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack.  On top of my head exploding in a giant ball of snot.