12:45 am
Hotel
Thank God the day is over. It's been one of the longest of my damned life.
The Youth thing was good. Some great kids, lots of volunteers doing good work. I tried my best to stay focused, but it was impossible. Kept thinking about Richie, about Cate, about Dorothea and my kids, about Ava. And I just felt helpless.
It was like I was in a trance, sleepwalking through the day. Saw a couple press photos; I look like Hell. The last couple nights have done a real number on me. I have wrinkles upon my wrinkles. Jesus, I look like I aged 10 years overnight.
I feel like I aged 20.
My Saving Grace was coming back to the hotel after the Youth thing and finding Cate waiting for me. She changed her flight, left the office right after her meeting and caught an earlier plane. God Bless my Wife. I really need her here.
Tonight we put in our unofficially required appearance at the performer's lounge then disappeared into the Quarter. Found a little hole-in-the wall place with dark corners and candlelight and shared wine and wonderful food and some quiet time together.
Then we strolled through some of the shops that were still open. Cate led me into one of those VooDoo shops that seem to be everywhere, she was intrigued. We kinda poked around and the manager asked us if we were looking for anything special. Cate said she was just curious and kinda half-slyly asked if the dolls and gris-gris really worked.
My Wife was a little shocked by what happened next. The proprietor looked her up and down and got this big grin. Then she turned around and took this doll off a shelf, one that looked like a broom wrapped in pink and blue cloth. She handed it to Cate and said "Here. When Baby comes you tell me if it works."
It was a fertility doll.
That made me really smile for the first time in this whole long day. I just put my arm around Cate and handed the doll back to the lady and told her we'd take it. And a couple of gris-gris just for good measure.
A little VooDoo can't hurt, right?
I had the ShopMistress make a gris-gris for Richie, too. Good Health and Spiritual Blessing. I'm sending it to him tomorrow, from both of us.
After that we found another little dive and snuggled together in another dark corner and listened to some jazz trio and an incredible blues Mama. Then we headed back here, snuck in the side entrance with a little help from Matty.
Now I'm right where I wanna be, in bed, waiting for Cate to slip into my arms and soothe my tired, aching soul.
Got that fertility Mojo Bag under my pillow, just in case.
Friday, April 29
10:15 am
Plane
Heading South.
Feels lonely.
These next few weeks are gonna be hard, but we'll all get through. Especially Richie. He's getting what he needs.
I know he's been struggling for awhile but he wasn't ready to talk about it. I had to sit back and let him come to realizations on his own. That's part of dealing with addiction, learning to recognize the signs and wanting to get better.
But I sure as Hell didn't expect that 3 am phone call from The Plaza. Or that long, emotional conversation that came after. But being there in the dead of night is what Brothers do for each other. Blood on Blood. Like the song says.
I never thought I'd hear Richie say "can't" when it came to playing live. He loves being on the stage, in front of the crowd. Even in his darkest days past he never wanted to miss a show. That's what rattled me most, when he looked me in the eye and said "I can't." That's when I knew this is serious, he needs real help.
So I told him to do what he has to do to take care of himself, we're all behind him and we'll back him up a thousand percent. And then I just let him pour out his heart and his lonely soul. It hurt me as much as it hurt him, I think. And it made me think of dark days of my own: when Richie was first going through all this shit, with his Dad and Heather and Denise, when I was losing my own marriage. It was Hell for both of us.
By the time I got home yesterday morning Cate was already up and out for work. I knew I needed to sleep a few hours but I couldn't. Too much to do, not the least of which was figure out how to break this news. After all, somebody's bound to notice when the curtain goes up Saturday night and Richie's not in his spot.
But the fucking rag press beat us to it. I don't know how or who the "close friend" source is. I'm pretty sure it's not Nikki -- it better not be. More likely it's one of her people. But it doesn't matter, can't un-ring a bell.
Matt called me mid-morning and told me we have to make a statement, he was getting bombarded by messages and texts and tweets and posts on the Fan Club board were going crazy. I didn't want to but I knew he was right. This ain't gonna be a one-show deal. I also wanted to ask Richie how he wanted this done.
After a mind-numbing number of phone calls I think we got it right. Anyway, it's done. Richie's on his way to getting the help he needs and we're on our way to JazzFest.
Cate and I sat up late last night talking. Well, I was talking, anyway. She just listened and held me and let me get it out.
I'm so fucking thankful for her. I wish she was on this plane right now, beside me, but she couldn't miss a meeting this morning. She's flying to NOLA tonight. She knows how much I need her right now.
I feel guilty. My life is going so good, better than it has in a long, long time. And my Brother is struggling to get by. I know he's strong and I admire his honesty and his real desire to get better, to live a clean and full life. But he's gotta do it for himself; none of us can do it for him.
It sucks when all you can do is lend an ear or offer a shoulder to lean on. Or be painfully, brutally honest. But that's what Brothers do for each other.
I'm gonna miss him these next few weeks.
Watched a little of the Royal Wedding this morning. What a pageant, such a spectacular sight. The future King and Queen of England, in all their splendid glory. I can only imagine what it's like to be in London right now. They're such a handsome young couple, so into each other despite all the proper Royal restraint they must have to show.
It's the start of a long, strange life for the two of them. I guess it's not "strange" when you're born into it, but for Kate it must be a little overwhelming. I know she's not exactly from a family of ditch-diggers -- she's grown up in privilege herself -- but still. She seems pretty strong and capable, a modern woman. In a lot of ways much more prepared for that life than Diana seemed to have been.
From my impression of Princess Kate, William did pretty well for himself. I hope he's smart enough to always remember how great she is, years down the road when there are heirs and responsibilities and when he ascends to the throne. I hope he remembers what it's like today, to be in love, starting a life together.
Today would have been 22 years for me and Dorothea. We were like William and Kate once. But there was no fancy wedding, no horse-drawn carriage -- just a taxicab to a Vegas chapel. And we were royalty of our own sort, once upon a time. Rock and Roll Royalty, for that fleeting moment in time.
But there was nobody to greet her with waves and cheers when she became Mrs. JBJ. I've always regretted that. But she understood, she was fine with the fact that suddenly she was getting death threats and being called every name in the book. Dorothea's always been stronger than me. And when it didn't work anymore, she was strong enough to walk away.
On this day in a past life I would have been sending flowers and jewelry to her. But not today. It's not my anniversary anymore. It's William and Kate's.
I guess I'm allowed my fleeting moment of reflection on what once was and could have been. D will always have a place in my heart. I'm glad she's still my friend.
Tonight my own Princess Cate will be by my side. We'll go out and do something quiet, just the two of us. She's stronger than me too. She'll get me through.
Plane
Heading South.
Feels lonely.
These next few weeks are gonna be hard, but we'll all get through. Especially Richie. He's getting what he needs.
I know he's been struggling for awhile but he wasn't ready to talk about it. I had to sit back and let him come to realizations on his own. That's part of dealing with addiction, learning to recognize the signs and wanting to get better.
But I sure as Hell didn't expect that 3 am phone call from The Plaza. Or that long, emotional conversation that came after. But being there in the dead of night is what Brothers do for each other. Blood on Blood. Like the song says.
I never thought I'd hear Richie say "can't" when it came to playing live. He loves being on the stage, in front of the crowd. Even in his darkest days past he never wanted to miss a show. That's what rattled me most, when he looked me in the eye and said "I can't." That's when I knew this is serious, he needs real help.
So I told him to do what he has to do to take care of himself, we're all behind him and we'll back him up a thousand percent. And then I just let him pour out his heart and his lonely soul. It hurt me as much as it hurt him, I think. And it made me think of dark days of my own: when Richie was first going through all this shit, with his Dad and Heather and Denise, when I was losing my own marriage. It was Hell for both of us.
By the time I got home yesterday morning Cate was already up and out for work. I knew I needed to sleep a few hours but I couldn't. Too much to do, not the least of which was figure out how to break this news. After all, somebody's bound to notice when the curtain goes up Saturday night and Richie's not in his spot.
But the fucking rag press beat us to it. I don't know how or who the "close friend" source is. I'm pretty sure it's not Nikki -- it better not be. More likely it's one of her people. But it doesn't matter, can't un-ring a bell.
Matt called me mid-morning and told me we have to make a statement, he was getting bombarded by messages and texts and tweets and posts on the Fan Club board were going crazy. I didn't want to but I knew he was right. This ain't gonna be a one-show deal. I also wanted to ask Richie how he wanted this done.
After a mind-numbing number of phone calls I think we got it right. Anyway, it's done. Richie's on his way to getting the help he needs and we're on our way to JazzFest.
Cate and I sat up late last night talking. Well, I was talking, anyway. She just listened and held me and let me get it out.
I'm so fucking thankful for her. I wish she was on this plane right now, beside me, but she couldn't miss a meeting this morning. She's flying to NOLA tonight. She knows how much I need her right now.
I feel guilty. My life is going so good, better than it has in a long, long time. And my Brother is struggling to get by. I know he's strong and I admire his honesty and his real desire to get better, to live a clean and full life. But he's gotta do it for himself; none of us can do it for him.
It sucks when all you can do is lend an ear or offer a shoulder to lean on. Or be painfully, brutally honest. But that's what Brothers do for each other.
I'm gonna miss him these next few weeks.
Watched a little of the Royal Wedding this morning. What a pageant, such a spectacular sight. The future King and Queen of England, in all their splendid glory. I can only imagine what it's like to be in London right now. They're such a handsome young couple, so into each other despite all the proper Royal restraint they must have to show.
It's the start of a long, strange life for the two of them. I guess it's not "strange" when you're born into it, but for Kate it must be a little overwhelming. I know she's not exactly from a family of ditch-diggers -- she's grown up in privilege herself -- but still. She seems pretty strong and capable, a modern woman. In a lot of ways much more prepared for that life than Diana seemed to have been.
From my impression of Princess Kate, William did pretty well for himself. I hope he's smart enough to always remember how great she is, years down the road when there are heirs and responsibilities and when he ascends to the throne. I hope he remembers what it's like today, to be in love, starting a life together.
Today would have been 22 years for me and Dorothea. We were like William and Kate once. But there was no fancy wedding, no horse-drawn carriage -- just a taxicab to a Vegas chapel. And we were royalty of our own sort, once upon a time. Rock and Roll Royalty, for that fleeting moment in time.
But there was nobody to greet her with waves and cheers when she became Mrs. JBJ. I've always regretted that. But she understood, she was fine with the fact that suddenly she was getting death threats and being called every name in the book. Dorothea's always been stronger than me. And when it didn't work anymore, she was strong enough to walk away.
On this day in a past life I would have been sending flowers and jewelry to her. But not today. It's not my anniversary anymore. It's William and Kate's.
I guess I'm allowed my fleeting moment of reflection on what once was and could have been. D will always have a place in my heart. I'm glad she's still my friend.
Tonight my own Princess Cate will be by my side. We'll go out and do something quiet, just the two of us. She's stronger than me too. She'll get me through.
Wednesday, April 27
9:20 am
Waiting room
Back at the Doc for another checkup. He wanted to see me before I go back out on the road, to be sure everything's coming along nicely.
Or Cumming along. Swimmingly. Ha ha. 'Cause my swimmers are free again....
Okay, maybe it ain't that funny. But I'm bored.
Hoping like hell I get another green light today. Not for sex this time, though I better not get a red light or even a caution flag for that. Of course since I'll be gone for a few weeks that's gonna slow down anyway, Dammit.
But I want to get back to exercising. I need to start running again. Tired of sitting on my Fat Ass, unable to do more than walk on the treadmill. Swear I've put on 10 pounds since this surgery. Dawn's gonna have to break out the LardAss pants again, at least for these U.S. shows. I'll be back in fighting trim by Europe, though.
Wonder if Doc's gonna believe me this time, that I've nailed Cate about a dozen times since our last appointment. He'll probably still think I'm bragging, ha ha. He should just be proud of his handiwork. I am.
Wonder if I've knocked my Wife up yet? Timing should be about right, or maybe the next few days. Maybe she'll be preggo by Vegas. Man, she'd be pissed if that happened. Especially if she gets morning sickness, ha ha. A Vegas Bachelor Party is no place for a pregnant woman. All barfing should be legitimately alcohol-related, ha ha.
Of course a Vegas Bachelor Party is no place for most women. Except for strippers. But that's my Cate, Bachelor Party Planner Extraordinaire. Boldly going where few women have gone before, ha ha.
She's got some sort of devious idea cooking in that big ol' brain of hers. God knows what it's gonna entail. But last night she told me she doesn't want to do anything too swanky or exclusive like rent out a whole club or something. The guys just want this to be a "normal" Bachelor Party, not one where money is no object. Just down-and-dirty, good-natured, normal-guy debauchery.
I'm down with that. Though if Cate plans to take the guys to the Cheetah Club like she mentioned last night things could get interesting. Don't know how the Hell I'll be able to lay low in there. Don't need paparazzi or some douche with an iPhone snapping shots of me with some thong-adorned ass in my face. Or better yet, to get photos of my Wife in a strip club. Good Lord, that would be interesting.
Hmmm. Wonder if I can convince Cate to dress the part? Like she's going undercover at the Cheetah Club? Heh heh. That's a fun little role-play to file away for future reference....
I probably shouldn't be thinking about strippers or my Wife spinning on a pole when I'm getting ready to go drop my pants for the Doc. I'm sure a man in his line of work would fail to be impressed by Superman standing at attention, but still.
But if I put a little red cape on him.... Betcha that's something Doc hasn't seen, ha ha.
10:45 pm
Bed
Well today was a kinda weird day. Pretty random collection of events, now that I look back on it.
Doc appointment went well -- got the clearance to resume exercise, but have to take it easy for a couple more weeks. Doc said I could do "more strenuous cardio" like eliptical or stairclimber, but he said he'd prefer I lay off jogging for at least another week. And no rowing machines. Not that I ever do that anyway. No lower-body weights; I can do upper body. And I can do yoga as long as I watch what I stretch, ha ha. I guess the main idea is to not stress out my crotchal area any more than I have to. Don't want a "risk of rupture" as Doc put it.
Well Christ, I would think not. That just sounds painful.
So Doc asked me a bunch of very specific questions about my balls and how they feel when I shoot my wad (they feel GOOD, what do you think? Ha ha). He copped a feel and took a look to be sure my incisions are nicely closed -- they are. Didn't even compliment me on the lovely fuzz I have growing back. Jeez, didn't buy me dinner, either, ha ha. But he did say everything looks "really good." So I'll take what I can get.
So after the medical foreplay Doc handed me a plastic cup and pointed me toward a door. Yep, got my first date with a collection cup. I wish he would have warned me; I coulda been all warmed up and ready to go. I woulda just kept going with my stripper train of thought from the waiting room. Instead I was in that little room for about a half an hour, trying to summon the swimmers.
The big stack of Juggs magazines didn't even help, and the little stack of gay porn in the corner actually kinda creeped me out. And made me wonder about that clientele...
Finally I pulled out my iPhone and called Cate. She refused to talk dirty to me on the phone because there were people in her office. Sheesh, she coulda kicked them out, for fuck's sake. Instead she laughed at me and said she was sure I'd figure something out and "Good Luck."
I did. I pulled up those boudoir shots she did for me on my iPhone. Once I got that slideshow going it was all easy. Gave the lab techs plenty of love potion to analyze, heh heh. Doc said he'd call me tomorrow to let me know how the swimmers look.
And he told me he wants me to submit a "specimen" every month for the next couple months or until Cate gets pregnant, whichever happens first. My money's on the fetus, ha ha. Besides, after the first week of June I'll be out of the country, so unless he wants to fly over to wherever I am with his little sperm-counting-kit and set up shop in my hotel he's just gonna have to wait until August. Then I'll gladly fill all the little plastic cups he wants.
So anyway, after my date with Dixie (the Cup) I stopped by my accountant's office to sign some forms then went to the drugstore to buy a new toothbrush and some other shit. Glamorous Rock Star, eh? Comparing bristles in aisle 5, ha ha. I tell everybody I'm just a normal Dude but they never believe it. But I really DO buy my own toothbrushes. Well, unless Cate picks them up for me.
After my CVS Shopping Spree I dropped my purchases off at home and headed over to The Plaza. Nikki does like to travel in style, ha ha. And she brought her Boy Toy with her this trip. So Nikki, Richie and I all grabbed some lunch and talked a little fashion-design shop.
I swear Richie missed his calling when he became a Rock and Roll Guitarist. He would have made a fabulous Gay Man, ha ha.
But I guess he likes pussy too much for that. Hmmm... the fatal flaw in that plan.
So after that I ran a few errands before picking up Jake and Romey from school. Then I hung out at Dorothea's for awhile until Jesse and Steph got home from their activities. The girls got ready for Prom Dress Dinner with Nikki and Richie while I supervised homework. I think I got the bad end of that deal, ha ha. All Steph and D had to do was cook.
D figured since it's a school night it would be easier to have Nikki and Richie over to her house than to go out somewhere. Turned out to be a good call. We all had a really fun dinner, everybody cracking jokes and telling stories and smiling. For once. Thank God the moody teenager shit seems to be over, at least for tonight.
So after a nice dinner the girls all retired to the family room while Uncle Mookie entertained the Chuckleheads (or maybe it was the other way around). Jess and I wandered back to his room and spent a little time working on his song for Bridget. He had an okay start; some good phrases. But some of it did sound kinda goofy, ha ha.
Hey, I betcha Shakespeare's early stuff was crap too.
Anyway, we played with it for awhile and I helped Jess figure out some chords and phrasing, but he's still got a lot to do. I told him maybe we can work a little more on it Sunday when I'm back from the JazzFest show.
So before I knew it the Chuckleheads' bedtime had rolled around. Richie and I got them somehow corralled and into pajamas and bed, then I headed out. The womenfolk were still chattering about shoes and earrings and shit when I let myself out. I betcha Richie was offering up his opinions on hemlines and matching purses the second I was out the door, ha ha.
Then it was home to my Cate. She worked late and went out to dinner with a couple fellow Feds who are in TDY from Miami for some case. But she made it home before me. I found her hanging out on the couch with the hockey game on low, all Geeky Hotness in her Flyers t-shirt and sweatpants and librarian glasses, with files spread out all around her.
I love seeing her like that. Makes me smile.
So she's wrapping up her paperwork now, then she's gonna come do a little Hubby-Snugglin'. We'll see where that leads. I'm hoping that road goes straight to NakedTown, heh heh.
After all, that Baby ain't gonna make itself, ha ha.
Waiting room
Back at the Doc for another checkup. He wanted to see me before I go back out on the road, to be sure everything's coming along nicely.
Or Cumming along. Swimmingly. Ha ha. 'Cause my swimmers are free again....
Okay, maybe it ain't that funny. But I'm bored.
Hoping like hell I get another green light today. Not for sex this time, though I better not get a red light or even a caution flag for that. Of course since I'll be gone for a few weeks that's gonna slow down anyway, Dammit.
But I want to get back to exercising. I need to start running again. Tired of sitting on my Fat Ass, unable to do more than walk on the treadmill. Swear I've put on 10 pounds since this surgery. Dawn's gonna have to break out the LardAss pants again, at least for these U.S. shows. I'll be back in fighting trim by Europe, though.
Wonder if Doc's gonna believe me this time, that I've nailed Cate about a dozen times since our last appointment. He'll probably still think I'm bragging, ha ha. He should just be proud of his handiwork. I am.
Wonder if I've knocked my Wife up yet? Timing should be about right, or maybe the next few days. Maybe she'll be preggo by Vegas. Man, she'd be pissed if that happened. Especially if she gets morning sickness, ha ha. A Vegas Bachelor Party is no place for a pregnant woman. All barfing should be legitimately alcohol-related, ha ha.
Of course a Vegas Bachelor Party is no place for most women. Except for strippers. But that's my Cate, Bachelor Party Planner Extraordinaire. Boldly going where few women have gone before, ha ha.
She's got some sort of devious idea cooking in that big ol' brain of hers. God knows what it's gonna entail. But last night she told me she doesn't want to do anything too swanky or exclusive like rent out a whole club or something. The guys just want this to be a "normal" Bachelor Party, not one where money is no object. Just down-and-dirty, good-natured, normal-guy debauchery.
I'm down with that. Though if Cate plans to take the guys to the Cheetah Club like she mentioned last night things could get interesting. Don't know how the Hell I'll be able to lay low in there. Don't need paparazzi or some douche with an iPhone snapping shots of me with some thong-adorned ass in my face. Or better yet, to get photos of my Wife in a strip club. Good Lord, that would be interesting.
Hmmm. Wonder if I can convince Cate to dress the part? Like she's going undercover at the Cheetah Club? Heh heh. That's a fun little role-play to file away for future reference....
I probably shouldn't be thinking about strippers or my Wife spinning on a pole when I'm getting ready to go drop my pants for the Doc. I'm sure a man in his line of work would fail to be impressed by Superman standing at attention, but still.
But if I put a little red cape on him.... Betcha that's something Doc hasn't seen, ha ha.
10:45 pm
Bed
Well today was a kinda weird day. Pretty random collection of events, now that I look back on it.
Doc appointment went well -- got the clearance to resume exercise, but have to take it easy for a couple more weeks. Doc said I could do "more strenuous cardio" like eliptical or stairclimber, but he said he'd prefer I lay off jogging for at least another week. And no rowing machines. Not that I ever do that anyway. No lower-body weights; I can do upper body. And I can do yoga as long as I watch what I stretch, ha ha. I guess the main idea is to not stress out my crotchal area any more than I have to. Don't want a "risk of rupture" as Doc put it.
Well Christ, I would think not. That just sounds painful.
So Doc asked me a bunch of very specific questions about my balls and how they feel when I shoot my wad (they feel GOOD, what do you think? Ha ha). He copped a feel and took a look to be sure my incisions are nicely closed -- they are. Didn't even compliment me on the lovely fuzz I have growing back. Jeez, didn't buy me dinner, either, ha ha. But he did say everything looks "really good." So I'll take what I can get.
So after the medical foreplay Doc handed me a plastic cup and pointed me toward a door. Yep, got my first date with a collection cup. I wish he would have warned me; I coulda been all warmed up and ready to go. I woulda just kept going with my stripper train of thought from the waiting room. Instead I was in that little room for about a half an hour, trying to summon the swimmers.
The big stack of Juggs magazines didn't even help, and the little stack of gay porn in the corner actually kinda creeped me out. And made me wonder about that clientele...
Finally I pulled out my iPhone and called Cate. She refused to talk dirty to me on the phone because there were people in her office. Sheesh, she coulda kicked them out, for fuck's sake. Instead she laughed at me and said she was sure I'd figure something out and "Good Luck."
I did. I pulled up those boudoir shots she did for me on my iPhone. Once I got that slideshow going it was all easy. Gave the lab techs plenty of love potion to analyze, heh heh. Doc said he'd call me tomorrow to let me know how the swimmers look.
And he told me he wants me to submit a "specimen" every month for the next couple months or until Cate gets pregnant, whichever happens first. My money's on the fetus, ha ha. Besides, after the first week of June I'll be out of the country, so unless he wants to fly over to wherever I am with his little sperm-counting-kit and set up shop in my hotel he's just gonna have to wait until August. Then I'll gladly fill all the little plastic cups he wants.
So anyway, after my date with Dixie (the Cup) I stopped by my accountant's office to sign some forms then went to the drugstore to buy a new toothbrush and some other shit. Glamorous Rock Star, eh? Comparing bristles in aisle 5, ha ha. I tell everybody I'm just a normal Dude but they never believe it. But I really DO buy my own toothbrushes. Well, unless Cate picks them up for me.
After my CVS Shopping Spree I dropped my purchases off at home and headed over to The Plaza. Nikki does like to travel in style, ha ha. And she brought her Boy Toy with her this trip. So Nikki, Richie and I all grabbed some lunch and talked a little fashion-design shop.
I swear Richie missed his calling when he became a Rock and Roll Guitarist. He would have made a fabulous Gay Man, ha ha.
But I guess he likes pussy too much for that. Hmmm... the fatal flaw in that plan.
So after that I ran a few errands before picking up Jake and Romey from school. Then I hung out at Dorothea's for awhile until Jesse and Steph got home from their activities. The girls got ready for Prom Dress Dinner with Nikki and Richie while I supervised homework. I think I got the bad end of that deal, ha ha. All Steph and D had to do was cook.
D figured since it's a school night it would be easier to have Nikki and Richie over to her house than to go out somewhere. Turned out to be a good call. We all had a really fun dinner, everybody cracking jokes and telling stories and smiling. For once. Thank God the moody teenager shit seems to be over, at least for tonight.
So after a nice dinner the girls all retired to the family room while Uncle Mookie entertained the Chuckleheads (or maybe it was the other way around). Jess and I wandered back to his room and spent a little time working on his song for Bridget. He had an okay start; some good phrases. But some of it did sound kinda goofy, ha ha.
Hey, I betcha Shakespeare's early stuff was crap too.
Anyway, we played with it for awhile and I helped Jess figure out some chords and phrasing, but he's still got a lot to do. I told him maybe we can work a little more on it Sunday when I'm back from the JazzFest show.
So before I knew it the Chuckleheads' bedtime had rolled around. Richie and I got them somehow corralled and into pajamas and bed, then I headed out. The womenfolk were still chattering about shoes and earrings and shit when I let myself out. I betcha Richie was offering up his opinions on hemlines and matching purses the second I was out the door, ha ha.
Then it was home to my Cate. She worked late and went out to dinner with a couple fellow Feds who are in TDY from Miami for some case. But she made it home before me. I found her hanging out on the couch with the hockey game on low, all Geeky Hotness in her Flyers t-shirt and sweatpants and librarian glasses, with files spread out all around her.
I love seeing her like that. Makes me smile.
So she's wrapping up her paperwork now, then she's gonna come do a little Hubby-Snugglin'. We'll see where that leads. I'm hoping that road goes straight to NakedTown, heh heh.
After all, that Baby ain't gonna make itself, ha ha.
Tuesday, April 26
10:45 pm
Bedroom
My Wife is sadistic. She tortured me for hours tonight.
We both had long days today, were dog-tired when we finally got home after 7 pm. I made it here about 10 minutes before she did. I gave her a kiss and took her briefcase for her and told her to go put on some comfy clothes, we're ordering a pizza and planting our asses on the couch and watching movies.
She said that sounded great, headed into the bedroom. I took her briefcase into the office, came out and called Nino's and ordered pizza and a big salad, and poured the wine.
Cate came out of the bedroom looking so fucking sexy in her tight little Bon Jovi Still Kickin' Ass t-shirt and short-shorts that I almost forgot my name for a minute. She looked like a hot little Groupie, heh heh.
She asked me what we were gonna watch. I told her no baseball, no hockey. Tonight we're watching something else.
She asked what I wanted to see. In a moment of weakness I told her I didn't care. Anything she wanted. I was distracted by her tits.
"Anything?" she asked me with a mischievous little smirk.
"Sure, Baby. Anything."
I'm such a dumbass.
Guess what we watched all night? 1980s bootleg videos. That damned Tokyo concert from 1985, with all my sparkles and spandex. Good grief, I spent half the duration of that thing cringing. And laughing. But I gotta admit I was pretty impressed with my flexibility when I was laying on the floor twirling that mic stand, ha ha.
And then we moved on to the Slippery Vancouver show, which Cate giggled through most of. Then the Coup de Grace -- the New Jersey Philly show.
Cate was toast after that one, ha ha. She didn't even see the end of it... we were busy.
Definite upside to sitting through embarrassing old movies of yourself. Chicks still dig you. And they can't wait to get out of their panties, heh heh.
Bedroom
My Wife is sadistic. She tortured me for hours tonight.
We both had long days today, were dog-tired when we finally got home after 7 pm. I made it here about 10 minutes before she did. I gave her a kiss and took her briefcase for her and told her to go put on some comfy clothes, we're ordering a pizza and planting our asses on the couch and watching movies.
She said that sounded great, headed into the bedroom. I took her briefcase into the office, came out and called Nino's and ordered pizza and a big salad, and poured the wine.
Cate came out of the bedroom looking so fucking sexy in her tight little Bon Jovi Still Kickin' Ass t-shirt and short-shorts that I almost forgot my name for a minute. She looked like a hot little Groupie, heh heh.
She asked me what we were gonna watch. I told her no baseball, no hockey. Tonight we're watching something else.
She asked what I wanted to see. In a moment of weakness I told her I didn't care. Anything she wanted. I was distracted by her tits.
"Anything?" she asked me with a mischievous little smirk.
"Sure, Baby. Anything."
I'm such a dumbass.
Guess what we watched all night? 1980s bootleg videos. That damned Tokyo concert from 1985, with all my sparkles and spandex. Good grief, I spent half the duration of that thing cringing. And laughing. But I gotta admit I was pretty impressed with my flexibility when I was laying on the floor twirling that mic stand, ha ha.
And then we moved on to the Slippery Vancouver show, which Cate giggled through most of. Then the Coup de Grace -- the New Jersey Philly show.
Cate was toast after that one, ha ha. She didn't even see the end of it... we were busy.
Definite upside to sitting through embarrassing old movies of yourself. Chicks still dig you. And they can't wait to get out of their panties, heh heh.
Monday, April 25
11:45 am
Kitchen
Gorgeous Monday morning, feels like early summer. Getting ready to head out for lunch with Cate. Maybe we'll wander around and window-shop in the Village a little if I can convince her to blow off work for a couple hours.
Got Mom & Dad up and out a couple hours ago, so it's just us. Hate to go back to the City tonight, but Cate and I both have stuff to do tomorrow. Gotta go be grown-ups, as she says.
I have plenty to do, for damned sure. Got an email from the White House this morning; not every day that happens, ha ha. Info for the next Committee meeting, a reminder on our taskers. I need to get some stuff together to send down to DC; have to get the Foundation staff on that. Plus I have a bunch to read up on before the next meeting.
Better get working on it today; next week full-on crazy begins again. Full tour schedule until end of May, then family stuff, then we head across the Pond. Back to the grind.
And if that's not enough crazy, we have all the family stuff thrown in -- Jakey's and Steph's birthdays, Steph's graduation, plus all the school events that happen this time of year. I wish I was gonna be around more to do some of them; I know Dorothea's planning to chaperone Jesse's field trip and there's some kind of carnival or something for Jake and Romeo's school. I think Cate's gonna do something with that one too.
Plus Steph has Prom coming up. At least I'll be here for that, to see my Princess off on her big night with Brendan. And to watch the clock until she comes home, ha ha.
She was so excited yesterday when I told her about Nikki doing her prom dress. I felt like the Best Daddy in the World when I saw that big, beaming smile. Steph said she already has some ideas what she wants, she was gonna do some sketches last night when she got home.
I'm sure Nikki will come up with something great. She's coming in Wednesday for some meetings and is gonna have dinner with me and Dorothea and Steph Wednesday night to talk things over. Then the girls will do their thing this coming weekend, pick fabrics and decorations and whatever shit you do to build a prom dress.
It's so damned much easier being the guy on Prom Night. You just shut up and wear whatever color bowtie and cumberbund your date tells you to wear, ha ha. Not that I'd know -- I skipped out on prom, both years. But not on the post-Prom rituals, heh heh.
Speaking of which, I need to have a little chat with Brendan.
Well Hallelujah! My Wife just emerged from her conference call. Time to drag her out the door before she opens her email and I lose her for another hour, ha ha. It's too pretty a day to be stuck inside. She can make up those work hours later.
10:30 pm
Living Room
Well my schedule just got a whole lot crazier.
Apparently I'm going to Vegas over Memorial Day weekend. With Cate. The Best Man.
Danny and Charity finally picked a date. Well, I guess it's more that they figured out when they can fit tying the knot into their own crazy schedules, ha ha. Danny's going out on a deployment mid-June and Charity's getting detailed to some big INTERPOL case and will be in Toronto for the next who-the-fuck-knows how long. This weekend they went to visit her family in California and just decided "fuck it, let's go to Vegas."
So that's what they're doing. Memorial Day weekend. But at least they aren't going to the Graceland Chapel. That's not exactly a place either Cate or I really care to revisit. To many ghosts there.
I never pictured myself as a married-to-the-Best-Man kinda guy, ha ha.
Of course Cate being there goes without saying, but in addition my presence is required. I wouldn't dream of missing it anyway, but apparently even thinking of missing this wedding is not an option, ha ha. That's gonna make for one full weekend -- it's Steph's birthday and she graduates the following week. Not to mention Prom and all the pre-Graduation and pre-summer break soirees that go on all damned week long.
Don't know how I'm gonna fit all that in. I'll do it somehow -- I don't want to miss any of those events. God knows it won't be the first time I airport-hop across North America in a matter of a few days. May have to charter a private jet this time, though. I'm getting too damned old to deal with commerical flights on a tight schedule. And I'm pretty sure there will be at least one red-eye involved.
It's probably a good thing I'm going along for another reason... since Cate's the Best Man she's in charge of the Bachelor Party. Not the Bachelorette Party -- the Bachelor Party. She's already cackling wickedly and texting Richie for his recommendation of the best Gentleman's Club in Vegas. And she muttered something about getting Danny's 4 brothers in on some wicked plot.
Holy Christ, I can see it now.... this weekend has the potential to make The Hangover look like a tea party, ha ha.
This oughta be interesting....
Kitchen
Gorgeous Monday morning, feels like early summer. Getting ready to head out for lunch with Cate. Maybe we'll wander around and window-shop in the Village a little if I can convince her to blow off work for a couple hours.
Got Mom & Dad up and out a couple hours ago, so it's just us. Hate to go back to the City tonight, but Cate and I both have stuff to do tomorrow. Gotta go be grown-ups, as she says.
I have plenty to do, for damned sure. Got an email from the White House this morning; not every day that happens, ha ha. Info for the next Committee meeting, a reminder on our taskers. I need to get some stuff together to send down to DC; have to get the Foundation staff on that. Plus I have a bunch to read up on before the next meeting.
Better get working on it today; next week full-on crazy begins again. Full tour schedule until end of May, then family stuff, then we head across the Pond. Back to the grind.
And if that's not enough crazy, we have all the family stuff thrown in -- Jakey's and Steph's birthdays, Steph's graduation, plus all the school events that happen this time of year. I wish I was gonna be around more to do some of them; I know Dorothea's planning to chaperone Jesse's field trip and there's some kind of carnival or something for Jake and Romeo's school. I think Cate's gonna do something with that one too.
Plus Steph has Prom coming up. At least I'll be here for that, to see my Princess off on her big night with Brendan. And to watch the clock until she comes home, ha ha.
She was so excited yesterday when I told her about Nikki doing her prom dress. I felt like the Best Daddy in the World when I saw that big, beaming smile. Steph said she already has some ideas what she wants, she was gonna do some sketches last night when she got home.
I'm sure Nikki will come up with something great. She's coming in Wednesday for some meetings and is gonna have dinner with me and Dorothea and Steph Wednesday night to talk things over. Then the girls will do their thing this coming weekend, pick fabrics and decorations and whatever shit you do to build a prom dress.
It's so damned much easier being the guy on Prom Night. You just shut up and wear whatever color bowtie and cumberbund your date tells you to wear, ha ha. Not that I'd know -- I skipped out on prom, both years. But not on the post-Prom rituals, heh heh.
Speaking of which, I need to have a little chat with Brendan.
Well Hallelujah! My Wife just emerged from her conference call. Time to drag her out the door before she opens her email and I lose her for another hour, ha ha. It's too pretty a day to be stuck inside. She can make up those work hours later.
10:30 pm
Living Room
Well my schedule just got a whole lot crazier.
Apparently I'm going to Vegas over Memorial Day weekend. With Cate. The Best Man.
Danny and Charity finally picked a date. Well, I guess it's more that they figured out when they can fit tying the knot into their own crazy schedules, ha ha. Danny's going out on a deployment mid-June and Charity's getting detailed to some big INTERPOL case and will be in Toronto for the next who-the-fuck-knows how long. This weekend they went to visit her family in California and just decided "fuck it, let's go to Vegas."
So that's what they're doing. Memorial Day weekend. But at least they aren't going to the Graceland Chapel. That's not exactly a place either Cate or I really care to revisit. To many ghosts there.
I never pictured myself as a married-to-the-Best-Man kinda guy, ha ha.
Of course Cate being there goes without saying, but in addition my presence is required. I wouldn't dream of missing it anyway, but apparently even thinking of missing this wedding is not an option, ha ha. That's gonna make for one full weekend -- it's Steph's birthday and she graduates the following week. Not to mention Prom and all the pre-Graduation and pre-summer break soirees that go on all damned week long.
Don't know how I'm gonna fit all that in. I'll do it somehow -- I don't want to miss any of those events. God knows it won't be the first time I airport-hop across North America in a matter of a few days. May have to charter a private jet this time, though. I'm getting too damned old to deal with commerical flights on a tight schedule. And I'm pretty sure there will be at least one red-eye involved.
It's probably a good thing I'm going along for another reason... since Cate's the Best Man she's in charge of the Bachelor Party. Not the Bachelorette Party -- the Bachelor Party. She's already cackling wickedly and texting Richie for his recommendation of the best Gentleman's Club in Vegas. And she muttered something about getting Danny's 4 brothers in on some wicked plot.
Holy Christ, I can see it now.... this weekend has the potential to make The Hangover look like a tea party, ha ha.
This oughta be interesting....
Sunday, April 24
7:15 am
Kitchen
Being the Easter Bunny blows. I'm up at 7 am on a fucking Sunday.
Cate better hurry up with the coffee.
10:45 pm
Bedroom
Finally, a little private time with my Wife. Thought this day would never end.
It was a nice family day, but I'm glad it's done. Always a challenge having ALL the family together. It's fun to see all the kids playing together and to catch up with some of the cousins I haven't seen in awhile, but after a couple hours we run out of things to talk about. And I see my brothers all the damned time, so it ain't like we have any catching up to do. In fact I'm pretty sure Matt would rather not see my ugly ass since he's glued to it when we're on the road, ha ha.
And then there's Mom and Dad. It's always good to see my Old Man; I don't spend enough time with him. And Mom... well, she's Mom. I love her, she's my Mother, but she's exhausting. Always has to be the Diva, the center of attention.
Tony says that's where I get my ego from -- Mom. Man, that's a low blow. I developed my ego all on my own, with years of practice, ha ha.
Anyway, today she was in usual form, holding court with all the cousins and grandkids. And as usual she had to get in a couple jabs about how sad it my kids don't have "a normal family" since their parents aren't married anymore. They're Children of Divorce, sigh.
I had to bite my tongue harder than usual this time. Over the past few years I've been pretty good at just tuning her out but today Mom's fake angst just really rubbed me the wrong way. I guess it's because Cate and I are at such an exciting point in our relationship, starting a family. Soon we're gonna give Mom and Dad another grandchild. Maybe that will finally make my sainted Mother realize once and for all there's no chance Dorothea and I will reconcile.
The fact that Mom still doesn't really accept Cate as part of our family pisses me off. And today she was chattier with Dorothea than usual; she basically ignored Cate. Cate said I was overreacting and that she was perfectly fine flying under Mom's radar. And I know D figured out what was going on too; she shot me a couple "WTF?" eye-rolls.
But it is what it is. God knows I can't talk to Mom about the way she acts toward my Wife, she'll just deny it all and there will be more Diva bullshit. I guess as long as Cate's not upset I just gotta let it go.
Speaking of grandchildren, I had to be sure to pull Steph and Jesse aside and caution them not to spill the beans about my procedure or Cate's and my Baby Plans. God knows the last thing we need is Nana Bongiovi finding out Cate's trying to get pregnant. She'd call me every fucking day "just to see how things are going." And when I'm in Europe this summer she'd drive Cate nuts. It's not good to torment a woman who packs heat for a living, ha ha.
Though maybe that would be enough incentive to convince Cate to come on the road with me this summer, ha ha. Threaten her with the Mother-in-Law.
Naw, I love her too much to do that.
So while I was trying to play nice with my Mother, everybody else had a really nice Easter. The kids had a great time hanging out with the cousins at the house and on the beach. My Easter baskets were a huge hit; even Jess and Steph were grinning ear-to-ear when they found them. Eat my dust, Martha Stewart, ha ha.
Romeo was especially wound up, when he found the little basket I made for Russell I thought he was gonna explode, ha ha. Made his whole day. And of course he headed straight for Cate to show her the little pink and purple ferrets the Easter Bunny brought for Russell. The sweet smile and wink my Wife gave me while she hugged my Boy made MY whole day.
I also pulled Jesse aside for a little bit, to find out how things are going with Bridget. He's still mooning over her, though today he wasn't too mopey with everybody around. Guess the party got his mind off of her for awhile. He said he's been trying to work on his song, but he thinks what he has is dumb. I had to grin at that; most of my Girl Songs were dumb too. But I told him I'd take a look at it this week if he wants, before I head down to New Orleans. He said he'll think about it.
Poor kid. Sucks to have your heart stomped on.
Anyway, other than Mama Drama the day was fun. Good food, music, played a little football on the beach, just hung out. Cate did a great job putting everything together; Dorothea complimented her a couple times. Even Mom could only find a couple things to nitpick, ha ha.
I always feel a little strange when D comes out here or to the Jersey house for these family get-togethers. Not that I don't want her here; quite the opposite. But I know it must be at least a little awkward or bittersweet for her; she was the Lady of the Manor for so long, hosted so many parties and family get-togethers in our homes. And now she's the guest, not the Hostess. But she handles it all with grace and poise, which makes me respect her even more. Class Act, my ex-wife.
So after a long day of food and family and more damned eggs than I ever care to see again, finally most of La Famiglia Bongiovi has gone. The kids have school tomorrow so D took them back home with her; Cate's gonna telework from here tomorrow. Mom and Dad are staying overnight; heading out to Jersey to visit friends tomorrow.
Cate and I watched some of the NHL playoffs with Dad while Mom decided she needed to clean the kitchen. Dad started to doze off so I saw my chance to escape and I took it, ha ha. Cate went in to be sure Mom has everything she needs (which isn't likely) and said she'd meet me here for a little private Easter celebration, heh heh.
I'm thinking maybe we need to start our private party with a dip in the jacuzzi. I could handle soaking my old bones in some nice warm water for awhile. I think I can twist Cate's arm to join me, ha ha. And I betcha I can convince her there's no need for clothing either. Who cares if the folks are here? Dad's done for the night and Mom's gotta be close to calling it a night too.
Besides, the threat of getting caught's half the fun, right? Heh heh.
Yep, gonna hide all Cate's bikinis. Right now. Time for a little Spring Skinny Dip.
But bunny ears are optional. It's Easter, after all.
Kitchen
Being the Easter Bunny blows. I'm up at 7 am on a fucking Sunday.
Cate better hurry up with the coffee.
10:45 pm
Bedroom
Finally, a little private time with my Wife. Thought this day would never end.
It was a nice family day, but I'm glad it's done. Always a challenge having ALL the family together. It's fun to see all the kids playing together and to catch up with some of the cousins I haven't seen in awhile, but after a couple hours we run out of things to talk about. And I see my brothers all the damned time, so it ain't like we have any catching up to do. In fact I'm pretty sure Matt would rather not see my ugly ass since he's glued to it when we're on the road, ha ha.
And then there's Mom and Dad. It's always good to see my Old Man; I don't spend enough time with him. And Mom... well, she's Mom. I love her, she's my Mother, but she's exhausting. Always has to be the Diva, the center of attention.
Tony says that's where I get my ego from -- Mom. Man, that's a low blow. I developed my ego all on my own, with years of practice, ha ha.
Anyway, today she was in usual form, holding court with all the cousins and grandkids. And as usual she had to get in a couple jabs about how sad it my kids don't have "a normal family" since their parents aren't married anymore. They're Children of Divorce, sigh.
I had to bite my tongue harder than usual this time. Over the past few years I've been pretty good at just tuning her out but today Mom's fake angst just really rubbed me the wrong way. I guess it's because Cate and I are at such an exciting point in our relationship, starting a family. Soon we're gonna give Mom and Dad another grandchild. Maybe that will finally make my sainted Mother realize once and for all there's no chance Dorothea and I will reconcile.
The fact that Mom still doesn't really accept Cate as part of our family pisses me off. And today she was chattier with Dorothea than usual; she basically ignored Cate. Cate said I was overreacting and that she was perfectly fine flying under Mom's radar. And I know D figured out what was going on too; she shot me a couple "WTF?" eye-rolls.
But it is what it is. God knows I can't talk to Mom about the way she acts toward my Wife, she'll just deny it all and there will be more Diva bullshit. I guess as long as Cate's not upset I just gotta let it go.
Speaking of grandchildren, I had to be sure to pull Steph and Jesse aside and caution them not to spill the beans about my procedure or Cate's and my Baby Plans. God knows the last thing we need is Nana Bongiovi finding out Cate's trying to get pregnant. She'd call me every fucking day "just to see how things are going." And when I'm in Europe this summer she'd drive Cate nuts. It's not good to torment a woman who packs heat for a living, ha ha.
Though maybe that would be enough incentive to convince Cate to come on the road with me this summer, ha ha. Threaten her with the Mother-in-Law.
Naw, I love her too much to do that.
So while I was trying to play nice with my Mother, everybody else had a really nice Easter. The kids had a great time hanging out with the cousins at the house and on the beach. My Easter baskets were a huge hit; even Jess and Steph were grinning ear-to-ear when they found them. Eat my dust, Martha Stewart, ha ha.
Romeo was especially wound up, when he found the little basket I made for Russell I thought he was gonna explode, ha ha. Made his whole day. And of course he headed straight for Cate to show her the little pink and purple ferrets the Easter Bunny brought for Russell. The sweet smile and wink my Wife gave me while she hugged my Boy made MY whole day.
I also pulled Jesse aside for a little bit, to find out how things are going with Bridget. He's still mooning over her, though today he wasn't too mopey with everybody around. Guess the party got his mind off of her for awhile. He said he's been trying to work on his song, but he thinks what he has is dumb. I had to grin at that; most of my Girl Songs were dumb too. But I told him I'd take a look at it this week if he wants, before I head down to New Orleans. He said he'll think about it.
Poor kid. Sucks to have your heart stomped on.
Anyway, other than Mama Drama the day was fun. Good food, music, played a little football on the beach, just hung out. Cate did a great job putting everything together; Dorothea complimented her a couple times. Even Mom could only find a couple things to nitpick, ha ha.
I always feel a little strange when D comes out here or to the Jersey house for these family get-togethers. Not that I don't want her here; quite the opposite. But I know it must be at least a little awkward or bittersweet for her; she was the Lady of the Manor for so long, hosted so many parties and family get-togethers in our homes. And now she's the guest, not the Hostess. But she handles it all with grace and poise, which makes me respect her even more. Class Act, my ex-wife.
So after a long day of food and family and more damned eggs than I ever care to see again, finally most of La Famiglia Bongiovi has gone. The kids have school tomorrow so D took them back home with her; Cate's gonna telework from here tomorrow. Mom and Dad are staying overnight; heading out to Jersey to visit friends tomorrow.
Cate and I watched some of the NHL playoffs with Dad while Mom decided she needed to clean the kitchen. Dad started to doze off so I saw my chance to escape and I took it, ha ha. Cate went in to be sure Mom has everything she needs (which isn't likely) and said she'd meet me here for a little private Easter celebration, heh heh.
I'm thinking maybe we need to start our private party with a dip in the jacuzzi. I could handle soaking my old bones in some nice warm water for awhile. I think I can twist Cate's arm to join me, ha ha. And I betcha I can convince her there's no need for clothing either. Who cares if the folks are here? Dad's done for the night and Mom's gotta be close to calling it a night too.
Besides, the threat of getting caught's half the fun, right? Heh heh.
Yep, gonna hide all Cate's bikinis. Right now. Time for a little Spring Skinny Dip.
But bunny ears are optional. It's Easter, after all.
Saturday, April 23
9:15 am
Kitchen
Cate's trying to get a move on Jake and Romeo so we can get out the door. Big doin's today. Heading over to the Aquarium for the Penguin Brunch and Egg Hunt. I assume we won't be hunting (or eating) Penguin Eggs, ha ha. Then over to the farm sanctuary for some sort of Easter festival there.
Romey's gonna be in Dr. Doolittle Heaven. Animals all day long. And Lord knows how much candy.
Then we're gonna hit the Farmer's Market, probably pick up a couple things for dinner. Cate's got the Easter Brunch thing covered for tomorrow -- she finally got smart and is having it catered instead of trying to cook it all herself, for 30-plus people.
My wife makes me laugh. We have three multi-million-dollar homes and it just doesn't dawn on her that she can pay somebody to do all this party-planning and cooking and shit. She even forgets we have a housekeeping service that comes in every week. I still find her doing shit like cleaning the oven or scrubbing toilets.
That's one of the many, many things I love about her. Aside from living in mansions/luxury apartments and jetting all over the world and being married to one of People's Sexiest Men Alive (ha ha) she just lives life the same way she always has. She doesn't give two shits about my money or my fame. She just loves me.
Thank God.
And now I probably better go help her wrangle the Chuckleheads. I'm sure she can handle them, but then again.... they ARE Boys. Sometimes I wonder how they can walk and breathe air at the same time. And they're MY boys so that makes them double-dumb, ha ha.
But I love 'em.
Hang on, StepMama! Backup is on the way! Ha ha.
6:20 pm
Patio
Hiding out here for a few minutes of peace.
Today has been madness. Fun, but completely fucking nuts. The penguin thing was fun, the farm was pretty cool. Other than a minor meltdown by Romeo because we made him leave. But I bought Russell a cookie at the Farmer's Market and that seemed to make up for it.
Now I'm in charge of egg-dyeing while Cate gets stuff ready for tomorrow. She cooked the eggs yesterday afternoon, now Jakey, Romey and I have to color them.
And she made sure to remind me it was all MY idea to make 12 dozen eggs.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I'm gonna need another beer....
9:25 pm
Bathroom
I now have technicolor Chuckleheads.
And this egg-dye shit ain't coming off. I have no fucking idea how they got it in their hair. Or on their bellies. What the fuck do these two DO when I turn my back?
I surrender. Just gonna sit here and nurse my beer and let them play in the tub.
I never want to see another damned egg. EVER.
Kitchen
Cate's trying to get a move on Jake and Romeo so we can get out the door. Big doin's today. Heading over to the Aquarium for the Penguin Brunch and Egg Hunt. I assume we won't be hunting (or eating) Penguin Eggs, ha ha. Then over to the farm sanctuary for some sort of Easter festival there.
Romey's gonna be in Dr. Doolittle Heaven. Animals all day long. And Lord knows how much candy.
Then we're gonna hit the Farmer's Market, probably pick up a couple things for dinner. Cate's got the Easter Brunch thing covered for tomorrow -- she finally got smart and is having it catered instead of trying to cook it all herself, for 30-plus people.
My wife makes me laugh. We have three multi-million-dollar homes and it just doesn't dawn on her that she can pay somebody to do all this party-planning and cooking and shit. She even forgets we have a housekeeping service that comes in every week. I still find her doing shit like cleaning the oven or scrubbing toilets.
That's one of the many, many things I love about her. Aside from living in mansions/luxury apartments and jetting all over the world and being married to one of People's Sexiest Men Alive (ha ha) she just lives life the same way she always has. She doesn't give two shits about my money or my fame. She just loves me.
Thank God.
And now I probably better go help her wrangle the Chuckleheads. I'm sure she can handle them, but then again.... they ARE Boys. Sometimes I wonder how they can walk and breathe air at the same time. And they're MY boys so that makes them double-dumb, ha ha.
But I love 'em.
Hang on, StepMama! Backup is on the way! Ha ha.
6:20 pm
Patio
Hiding out here for a few minutes of peace.
Today has been madness. Fun, but completely fucking nuts. The penguin thing was fun, the farm was pretty cool. Other than a minor meltdown by Romeo because we made him leave. But I bought Russell a cookie at the Farmer's Market and that seemed to make up for it.
Now I'm in charge of egg-dyeing while Cate gets stuff ready for tomorrow. She cooked the eggs yesterday afternoon, now Jakey, Romey and I have to color them.
And she made sure to remind me it was all MY idea to make 12 dozen eggs.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I'm gonna need another beer....
9:25 pm
Bathroom
I now have technicolor Chuckleheads.
And this egg-dye shit ain't coming off. I have no fucking idea how they got it in their hair. Or on their bellies. What the fuck do these two DO when I turn my back?
I surrender. Just gonna sit here and nurse my beer and let them play in the tub.
I never want to see another damned egg. EVER.
Friday, April 22
10:05 pm
Family Room
Hamptons House
Got the fire going, bottle of PG chilling, music on the stereo... now I just need my Cate.
She's upstairs with Romeo. A little while ago I read him a goodnight story, a chapter from Dr. Doolittle. He loves that book. Cate was there with us, just listening. But when it was time to turn out the light Romey wanted Cate to snuggle with him.
I told him he's a Big 7-year-old now so he didn't need to be snuggled to sleep. He can fall asleep all by himself. But as I said the words my heart wasn't in them. Hell, I like to be snuggled to sleep too. And the sweet smile on Cate's face when Romey asked her that... Well, how could I say no?
So Cate laid down beside Romey on his bed and gave him a hug, then helped tuck Russell into the pillowcase where he likes to sleep. I kissed them both and said goodnight and turned out the lights. The last thing I saw in the glow of Romeo's night light before I closed the door was Cate smiling at me, cuddling my littlest son.
It was beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.
She's gonna be such a good Mama.
Romeo should be asleep by now, or almost. He's tired. Jakey could hardly keep his eyes open; I think he was out the second his head hit the pillow. It's been a long day for those two, they were up early this morning, bouncing off the walls about coming out here. And Cate and I kept them busy this afternoon and this evening.
I was disappointed the weather's so shitty today. Cold, blustery, rainy... what the Hell is up with Mother Nature these days? It's almost May, for fuck's sake. I was hoping to take the boys to the beach this afternoon. We went out and walked a little but we were bundled up in coats and scarves and a cold wind was whipping in off the ocean so we didn't stay out long.
Instead we came back to the house and played board games and watched an episode of Blue Planet on TV. I forgot today is Earth Day. Maybe that's why Mother Nature is pissed, ha ha. Sorry, Ma.
For dinner we decided to have a campfire cookout. Well, Hamptons-style, anyway. Since it was too cold to make a bonfire on the beach we lit up the fire pit in the back yard and had a little hot dog and marshmallow-roast. Cate made baked potatoes too, which tasted great since it's so fucking cold.
For dessert Cate and I helped the boys make S'mores, which they promptly got all over the damned place. I don't know why we bothered; they just ate the Hershey bar squares and licked the marshmallow off the graham crackers. Apparently the graham crackers are Gross. Must not have enough sugar in 'em, ha ha.
Jakey somehow got marshmallow in my hair. Probably because he had the stuff smeared all over his face and hands. And Romeo looked like a refugee from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, ha ha. Chocolate spread ear-to-ear. I'm not sure he got any in his mouth; I think it was all on his cheeks.
Good thing we weren't on the beach. The Chuckles woulda had sand stuck all over them, with marshmallow adhesive, ha ha. I had to basically carry their butts upstairs and hose them down in the shower as soon as we were done eating. Then I had to de-goo my hair. All three of us ended up down here in our jammies, all freshly-scrubbed, by the time Cate was done with dishes.
Anyway, after that we hung out in the family room for awhile and played another rousing game of Chutes and Ladders, then it was bedtime for the Chuckles.
Now it's playtime for the grown-ups, heh heh.
I'm thinking we'll just sit here in the family room where it's nice and toasty in front of the fire and look out the big picture windows at the ocean. The weather may suck, but the sea is pretty when it's all stormy like this. We'll just curl up here and sip our wine and talk about us and see where things lead.
Family Room
Hamptons House
Got the fire going, bottle of PG chilling, music on the stereo... now I just need my Cate.
She's upstairs with Romeo. A little while ago I read him a goodnight story, a chapter from Dr. Doolittle. He loves that book. Cate was there with us, just listening. But when it was time to turn out the light Romey wanted Cate to snuggle with him.
I told him he's a Big 7-year-old now so he didn't need to be snuggled to sleep. He can fall asleep all by himself. But as I said the words my heart wasn't in them. Hell, I like to be snuggled to sleep too. And the sweet smile on Cate's face when Romey asked her that... Well, how could I say no?
So Cate laid down beside Romey on his bed and gave him a hug, then helped tuck Russell into the pillowcase where he likes to sleep. I kissed them both and said goodnight and turned out the lights. The last thing I saw in the glow of Romeo's night light before I closed the door was Cate smiling at me, cuddling my littlest son.
It was beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.
She's gonna be such a good Mama.
Romeo should be asleep by now, or almost. He's tired. Jakey could hardly keep his eyes open; I think he was out the second his head hit the pillow. It's been a long day for those two, they were up early this morning, bouncing off the walls about coming out here. And Cate and I kept them busy this afternoon and this evening.
I was disappointed the weather's so shitty today. Cold, blustery, rainy... what the Hell is up with Mother Nature these days? It's almost May, for fuck's sake. I was hoping to take the boys to the beach this afternoon. We went out and walked a little but we were bundled up in coats and scarves and a cold wind was whipping in off the ocean so we didn't stay out long.
Instead we came back to the house and played board games and watched an episode of Blue Planet on TV. I forgot today is Earth Day. Maybe that's why Mother Nature is pissed, ha ha. Sorry, Ma.
For dinner we decided to have a campfire cookout. Well, Hamptons-style, anyway. Since it was too cold to make a bonfire on the beach we lit up the fire pit in the back yard and had a little hot dog and marshmallow-roast. Cate made baked potatoes too, which tasted great since it's so fucking cold.
For dessert Cate and I helped the boys make S'mores, which they promptly got all over the damned place. I don't know why we bothered; they just ate the Hershey bar squares and licked the marshmallow off the graham crackers. Apparently the graham crackers are Gross. Must not have enough sugar in 'em, ha ha.
Jakey somehow got marshmallow in my hair. Probably because he had the stuff smeared all over his face and hands. And Romeo looked like a refugee from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, ha ha. Chocolate spread ear-to-ear. I'm not sure he got any in his mouth; I think it was all on his cheeks.
Good thing we weren't on the beach. The Chuckles woulda had sand stuck all over them, with marshmallow adhesive, ha ha. I had to basically carry their butts upstairs and hose them down in the shower as soon as we were done eating. Then I had to de-goo my hair. All three of us ended up down here in our jammies, all freshly-scrubbed, by the time Cate was done with dishes.
Anyway, after that we hung out in the family room for awhile and played another rousing game of Chutes and Ladders, then it was bedtime for the Chuckles.
Now it's playtime for the grown-ups, heh heh.
I'm thinking we'll just sit here in the family room where it's nice and toasty in front of the fire and look out the big picture windows at the ocean. The weather may suck, but the sea is pretty when it's all stormy like this. We'll just curl up here and sip our wine and talk about us and see where things lead.
Thursday, April 21
7:00 am
Kitchen
Good Morning World!
What a beautiful day. Great to be alive, great to be Me. And a great Fuckin' day for Rock and Roll, ha ha.
Everything is a little sweeter today. My coffee tastes better, the sunshine is a little brighter, the flowers out on our patio are prettier. And my Wife is even more wonderful and beautiful and incredible than ever.
Yeah, I finally got some last night. Twice. And once this morning. Heh heh.
Everything works just fine, thank you very much. Flushed out the pipes, all the parts are in working order. And DAMN it felt GOOD. Doc will be happy to know his stitchery held up quite well.
I thought I was gonna explode during that damned hockey game last night. Cate could tell, she kept smirking at me. I could hardly sit still. Luckily it was an exciting game, but I was cursing every damned player on the ice and the bench and in the history of both damned teams when they went into OT. And then when they went to a second OT -- I was ready to kill somebody. I was just praying somebody would score -- didn't care who.
I was so fucking happy when the Caps finally put that puck in the net. Didn't even care that the Rangers lost. I just grabbed Cate's hand and dragged her out of our seats and up the steps. Of course she had to go to the Ladies' Room on the way out so she had to stand in line and I paced back and forth waiting. Which wasn't easy because Superman was rattling the door of his phone booth pretty damned hard. Then we had to wait for a cab. I couldn't stop bouncing. Cate actually had to grab my arm and pull me over beside her and growl at me to settle down.
We finally got a taxi and headed home -- not a far drive, but it seemed like it took for fucking ever. Just as we were pulling away from the Garden my Naughty Minx of a Wife whispered in my ear "by the way, Baby... I did a little advance prep." Then she opened her purse and showed me that she had stowed her panties and bra in there. She was completely fucking commando under her jeans and jersey.
Jesus, I about came right there.
Well, that cabbie got an eyeful in his rearview mirror because from that point on Cate and I were all over each other. I swear, we were like horny teenagers. Christ, I think I was even worse than Jess. We got to our place and I just kinda flung some cash at the driver -- I know I way over-tipped him -- and we bolted out of the cab and into the building. Had each other half-naked by the time we hit the front door.
And we didn't make it much further. Not the first time, anyway. Heh heh.
So after a little quickie in the foyer to relieve the tension we headed into the bedroom and did it up right... candles, soft music, the works. God, it was wonderful. Not just the sex, the intimacy. I could have gone all night, hours of foreplay. But Cate wasn't quite up to that--she's still recovering too. And she had to go to work this morning, so she had to get at least a few hours of sleep.
But when her alarm went off she just smacked it and rolled over and gave me that look. Good morning to you too, Baby. Heh heh.
Then I washed her back for her before I came out here to make her coffee and some breakfast. Had it ready and waiting when Cate came out all Special-Agent-Spiffy in her work suit. She looked gorgeous, so relaxed and happy. She was glowing.
I'd say sex agrees with both of us, ha ha.
Now maybe Obie will let me back into the studio. Of course, knowing him he'll say I'm too cheerful, ha ha. I swear, there's no pleasing him. Grumpy Bastard.
But I don't care. I'm back in action, Baby.
Life is Good.
10:45 pm
Office
I AM the Easter Bunny. Ha ha!
Just spent 2 hours putting together Easter baskets for the kids. Hauled all the stuff back from the Jersey house today when I came home from the studio. When Cate got home we had dinner, opened a bottle of wine, and started basket-building.
It shouldn't have taken 2 hours to build 4 baskets but I guess we got a little sidetracked, heh heh. But now they're all set, all wrapped up nice and pretty in that cellophane stuff and packed up in a box to take to the car.
Heading for the Hamptons tomorrow afternoon. Cate's working a half-day, coming home to meet me for lunch and to pack up the car. Then we're picking Jake and Romeo up from D's and heading out to the beach. Steph and Jesse have stuff to do on Saturday so Dorothea's bringing them out for Sunday brunch.
Cate and I have the Chuckles all weekend. That should be an adventure, ha ha. Will give Cate a chance to work on those Mommyhood skills. Of course the Boys are always Angels for her. For me? Holy fucking terrors.
But still I wouldn't trade 'em for the world.
Kitchen
Good Morning World!
What a beautiful day. Great to be alive, great to be Me. And a great Fuckin' day for Rock and Roll, ha ha.
Everything is a little sweeter today. My coffee tastes better, the sunshine is a little brighter, the flowers out on our patio are prettier. And my Wife is even more wonderful and beautiful and incredible than ever.
Yeah, I finally got some last night. Twice. And once this morning. Heh heh.
Everything works just fine, thank you very much. Flushed out the pipes, all the parts are in working order. And DAMN it felt GOOD. Doc will be happy to know his stitchery held up quite well.
I thought I was gonna explode during that damned hockey game last night. Cate could tell, she kept smirking at me. I could hardly sit still. Luckily it was an exciting game, but I was cursing every damned player on the ice and the bench and in the history of both damned teams when they went into OT. And then when they went to a second OT -- I was ready to kill somebody. I was just praying somebody would score -- didn't care who.
I was so fucking happy when the Caps finally put that puck in the net. Didn't even care that the Rangers lost. I just grabbed Cate's hand and dragged her out of our seats and up the steps. Of course she had to go to the Ladies' Room on the way out so she had to stand in line and I paced back and forth waiting. Which wasn't easy because Superman was rattling the door of his phone booth pretty damned hard. Then we had to wait for a cab. I couldn't stop bouncing. Cate actually had to grab my arm and pull me over beside her and growl at me to settle down.
We finally got a taxi and headed home -- not a far drive, but it seemed like it took for fucking ever. Just as we were pulling away from the Garden my Naughty Minx of a Wife whispered in my ear "by the way, Baby... I did a little advance prep." Then she opened her purse and showed me that she had stowed her panties and bra in there. She was completely fucking commando under her jeans and jersey.
Jesus, I about came right there.
Well, that cabbie got an eyeful in his rearview mirror because from that point on Cate and I were all over each other. I swear, we were like horny teenagers. Christ, I think I was even worse than Jess. We got to our place and I just kinda flung some cash at the driver -- I know I way over-tipped him -- and we bolted out of the cab and into the building. Had each other half-naked by the time we hit the front door.
And we didn't make it much further. Not the first time, anyway. Heh heh.
So after a little quickie in the foyer to relieve the tension we headed into the bedroom and did it up right... candles, soft music, the works. God, it was wonderful. Not just the sex, the intimacy. I could have gone all night, hours of foreplay. But Cate wasn't quite up to that--she's still recovering too. And she had to go to work this morning, so she had to get at least a few hours of sleep.
But when her alarm went off she just smacked it and rolled over and gave me that look. Good morning to you too, Baby. Heh heh.
Then I washed her back for her before I came out here to make her coffee and some breakfast. Had it ready and waiting when Cate came out all Special-Agent-Spiffy in her work suit. She looked gorgeous, so relaxed and happy. She was glowing.
I'd say sex agrees with both of us, ha ha.
Now maybe Obie will let me back into the studio. Of course, knowing him he'll say I'm too cheerful, ha ha. I swear, there's no pleasing him. Grumpy Bastard.
But I don't care. I'm back in action, Baby.
Life is Good.
10:45 pm
Office
I AM the Easter Bunny. Ha ha!
Just spent 2 hours putting together Easter baskets for the kids. Hauled all the stuff back from the Jersey house today when I came home from the studio. When Cate got home we had dinner, opened a bottle of wine, and started basket-building.
It shouldn't have taken 2 hours to build 4 baskets but I guess we got a little sidetracked, heh heh. But now they're all set, all wrapped up nice and pretty in that cellophane stuff and packed up in a box to take to the car.
Heading for the Hamptons tomorrow afternoon. Cate's working a half-day, coming home to meet me for lunch and to pack up the car. Then we're picking Jake and Romeo up from D's and heading out to the beach. Steph and Jesse have stuff to do on Saturday so Dorothea's bringing them out for Sunday brunch.
Cate and I have the Chuckles all weekend. That should be an adventure, ha ha. Will give Cate a chance to work on those Mommyhood skills. Of course the Boys are always Angels for her. For me? Holy fucking terrors.
But still I wouldn't trade 'em for the world.
Wednesday, April 20
2:45 pm
Sanctuary
Obie just kicked me out of my own fucking studio.
Told me to get in my car, go home, get laid, and come back when I can pay attention. He said I either need Ritalin or a blowjob.
I vote for option #2, ha ha.
He's not wrong, I've been distracted all day. I even fucked up a couple things he had going. Trying to help out with his project but I'm more a liability than an asset, apparently.
And now I'm persona non grata until I get rid of my blue balls.
Hey, not for lack of trying....
I'll never admit it to his face but that's damned good advice Obie gave me. Gonna go back home, take a shower, get dressed up, order in a nice dinner for Cate and I.... and nail her up against the wall the second she walks in the door. Heh heh.
5:15 pm
Home
One of the things I love most about my Wife is that she comes up with great little surprises for me. Like tonight. She just called me and told me she'll be home in about 45 minutes, to be ready to go.
Go Where? Why, to the Rangers playoff game, of course. Versus the Capitals, at the Garden. Puck drops at 7 pm sharp and she doesn't want to miss it.
I don't even think Cate really likes hockey that much. She watches it sometimes on TV but she's far from an avid follower. But apparently somebody at her office offered us a pair of tickets for tonight, right up on the glass. And she took 'em.
Don't get me wrong, I love to go places with my Wife. And I like hockey. Hell, I'll willingly go to most any sporting event. But I was thinking I'd be having a little post-coital cigarette by 7 pm. Goddammit.
Don't know how the Hell I'm gonna sit still on those damned seats at the Garden for an entire fucking hockey game. Better wear loose jeans.
At least it will be chilly in there.
Oh, and Cate wants me to dig out that old Rangers jersey that's in Jesse's closet. One of the "Rock Star Collection" as she calls it, ha ha. Jess snags pretty much all the sports jerseys that get given to me on the road.
Great. She'll look sexy as Hell in that thing.
Have a feeling I'll spend the evening with a cold beer shoved against my crotch. But when we get home....
That jersey will look great on the living room floor, heh heh.
Sanctuary
Obie just kicked me out of my own fucking studio.
Told me to get in my car, go home, get laid, and come back when I can pay attention. He said I either need Ritalin or a blowjob.
I vote for option #2, ha ha.
He's not wrong, I've been distracted all day. I even fucked up a couple things he had going. Trying to help out with his project but I'm more a liability than an asset, apparently.
And now I'm persona non grata until I get rid of my blue balls.
Hey, not for lack of trying....
I'll never admit it to his face but that's damned good advice Obie gave me. Gonna go back home, take a shower, get dressed up, order in a nice dinner for Cate and I.... and nail her up against the wall the second she walks in the door. Heh heh.
5:15 pm
Home
One of the things I love most about my Wife is that she comes up with great little surprises for me. Like tonight. She just called me and told me she'll be home in about 45 minutes, to be ready to go.
Go Where? Why, to the Rangers playoff game, of course. Versus the Capitals, at the Garden. Puck drops at 7 pm sharp and she doesn't want to miss it.
I don't even think Cate really likes hockey that much. She watches it sometimes on TV but she's far from an avid follower. But apparently somebody at her office offered us a pair of tickets for tonight, right up on the glass. And she took 'em.
Don't get me wrong, I love to go places with my Wife. And I like hockey. Hell, I'll willingly go to most any sporting event. But I was thinking I'd be having a little post-coital cigarette by 7 pm. Goddammit.
Don't know how the Hell I'm gonna sit still on those damned seats at the Garden for an entire fucking hockey game. Better wear loose jeans.
At least it will be chilly in there.
Oh, and Cate wants me to dig out that old Rangers jersey that's in Jesse's closet. One of the "Rock Star Collection" as she calls it, ha ha. Jess snags pretty much all the sports jerseys that get given to me on the road.
Great. She'll look sexy as Hell in that thing.
Have a feeling I'll spend the evening with a cold beer shoved against my crotch. But when we get home....
That jersey will look great on the living room floor, heh heh.
Tuesday, April 19
5:45 pm
On the Train
Headed back home.
Great day at the Foundation, the fruition of a lot of hard work by a lot of good people. Met some great kids too. Hope this project gives them the security and the little hand-up they need to go out and achieve their dreams.
What a juxtaposition, today and yesterday. Yesterday I'm walking my daughter around a private university and today I'm meeting kids who are struggling to survive but who somehow made it through, got their diplomas. Really makes me appreciate how damned lucky I am, my family is.
Can't wait to get home and see my Girl. Been thinking about her all day, about our dinner date tonight. She's waiting for her train back from Baltimore, texted me from the station that she loves me and she can't wait to see me too.
And she said she has crabs. I hope she means for dinner, ha ha.
11:45 pm
Bedroom
Another long day at an end.
Had a lovely romantic dinner out on the patio with my Darling Wife. Whacked the shit out of some crabs with mallets and washed 'em down with beer, ha ha. Not exactly candlelight and roses but it suited me just fine.
It was nice, just the two of us doing the "so how was your day, Dear?" thing. I told Cate all about the ribbon-cutting and the kids and the meetings back at the office about the new Kitchen site. She told me basically nothing about her case (of course), but a little about the attorney she's working with. Sounds like a cool guy, used to be a CIA field agent. Bet they had lots of spooky stories to share, ha ha.
And she couldn't resist bringing back steamed Maryland crabs and Natty Bo beer for dinner. That's my Gal, all culture and class, ha ha. But she looked damned sexy in her patched-up jeans and ratty old t-shirt, with her hair up in a ponytail. Even when she was picking crab shell from between her teeth, ha ha. And it was fantastic to slow-dance with her to some old Blues tunes, to just hold her body tight against mine and smell her hair and feel her heart beating.
I love my Wife dearly, more than anything on this Earth. But she's killing me. I swear to God the woman has the longest periods known to the female of the species. She must be on the rag for like two weeks at a damned time. Or at least that's what it seems like.
I almost had to get that bag of peas out of the damned freezer and stuff it down my pants again. I don't think Superman can take much more of this.
At least she's sympathetic. Cate's going out of her way not to turn me on -- no long, hot kisses, no prancing around naked from her shower to her closet. Goddammit. Now if she would just stop looking so damned sexy in sweatpants and bluejeans and her work suits and pretty much everything up to and including a fucking burlap sack.
I'm about to the point of taking care of business myself. But I promised myself I wouldn't; that I'd wait until we can do this properly, take our time, enjoy the reunion. It's not Cate's fault, her body's gotta do what it's gotta do.
It better hurry the Hell up.
So I guess I'll just curl up around her again tonight and look forward to waking up with another aching hard-on. Yippee.
She better not plan on getting any sleep tomorrow night. Just sayin'.
On the Train
Headed back home.
Great day at the Foundation, the fruition of a lot of hard work by a lot of good people. Met some great kids too. Hope this project gives them the security and the little hand-up they need to go out and achieve their dreams.
What a juxtaposition, today and yesterday. Yesterday I'm walking my daughter around a private university and today I'm meeting kids who are struggling to survive but who somehow made it through, got their diplomas. Really makes me appreciate how damned lucky I am, my family is.
Can't wait to get home and see my Girl. Been thinking about her all day, about our dinner date tonight. She's waiting for her train back from Baltimore, texted me from the station that she loves me and she can't wait to see me too.
And she said she has crabs. I hope she means for dinner, ha ha.
11:45 pm
Bedroom
Another long day at an end.
Had a lovely romantic dinner out on the patio with my Darling Wife. Whacked the shit out of some crabs with mallets and washed 'em down with beer, ha ha. Not exactly candlelight and roses but it suited me just fine.
It was nice, just the two of us doing the "so how was your day, Dear?" thing. I told Cate all about the ribbon-cutting and the kids and the meetings back at the office about the new Kitchen site. She told me basically nothing about her case (of course), but a little about the attorney she's working with. Sounds like a cool guy, used to be a CIA field agent. Bet they had lots of spooky stories to share, ha ha.
And she couldn't resist bringing back steamed Maryland crabs and Natty Bo beer for dinner. That's my Gal, all culture and class, ha ha. But she looked damned sexy in her patched-up jeans and ratty old t-shirt, with her hair up in a ponytail. Even when she was picking crab shell from between her teeth, ha ha. And it was fantastic to slow-dance with her to some old Blues tunes, to just hold her body tight against mine and smell her hair and feel her heart beating.
I love my Wife dearly, more than anything on this Earth. But she's killing me. I swear to God the woman has the longest periods known to the female of the species. She must be on the rag for like two weeks at a damned time. Or at least that's what it seems like.
I almost had to get that bag of peas out of the damned freezer and stuff it down my pants again. I don't think Superman can take much more of this.
At least she's sympathetic. Cate's going out of her way not to turn me on -- no long, hot kisses, no prancing around naked from her shower to her closet. Goddammit. Now if she would just stop looking so damned sexy in sweatpants and bluejeans and her work suits and pretty much everything up to and including a fucking burlap sack.
I'm about to the point of taking care of business myself. But I promised myself I wouldn't; that I'd wait until we can do this properly, take our time, enjoy the reunion. It's not Cate's fault, her body's gotta do what it's gotta do.
It better hurry the Hell up.
So I guess I'll just curl up around her again tonight and look forward to waking up with another aching hard-on. Yippee.
She better not plan on getting any sleep tomorrow night. Just sayin'.
Monday, April 18
12:45 am
Living Room
Home from the game. Should go to bed but I'm not tired.
Had a good night with Jess. He was kinda quiet at the beginning, didn't really have much to say when I picked him up. Just small talk about the game, homework, that kind of stuff.
We got to the stadium and watched the end of batting practice, got a couple hot dogs and drinks. While we were waiting for the game to start I asked Jess what he wanted to do this summer. He kinda shrugged and said he didn't know, hadn't really thought about it. But I wouldn't be around, so what did it matter to me?
That punched me right in the gut. It was so unlike him -- of all my kids Jess has always been the one to understand me being away, on the road. He's never tried to make me feel guilty about being gone. I've always been able to conjure that guilt all on my own, but he's never tried to push those buttons. I could hardly believe my ears.
I asked him why he said that and he just shrugged. He wouldn't look at me, which is also totally unlike Jess. He's always been the one to look me in the eye. So I got to the point, asked Jesse if he was pissed at me about what happened last weekend, if he had something he wanted to say to me.
He shook his head and mumbled "no," then kinda sighed. He said he wasn't mad at me, he was just bummed out. And sick of Steph being such a bitch. I told him to watch his mouth about his sister (though inside I chuckled and thought "Amen") and asked him why he was bummed. When he answered that it was no big deal and I probably wouldn't care, I just said "try me."
Then he tried to change the subject and asked me if he could have a beer. Nice try, kid. Of course I said no and asked him again why he was bummed out. When he finally looked at me I could tell in an instant. Poor kid looked miserable, like somebody had just kicked his dog.
Girl trouble.
I asked if it was Bridget and he just shrugged. I took that as a "yes." I pushed a little, told him she seemed like a nice girl, bright, polite, outgoing, and certainly easy on the eyes. And probably on the lips too. He kinda smirked and blushed a little at that, and I knew I had him. And I breathed a little sigh of relief.
Turns out poor Jesse is mooning over Bridget. She won't give him the time of day since the blowout last weekend. He really likes her, has for awhile, even when he was screwing around with that other Madison girl. But he never thought she'd give him a second thought because she's been kinda semi-dating some jock. Yeah kid, I know that feeling.
Well, I guess last weekend when the kids were working at the Kitchen Bridget and Jesse had a little time to talk. He said there was a spark between them; she kept smiling at him and touching his hand and giving him those shy little fluttery-eyelash looks. But they didn't have a chance to be alone because Steph was always around and I was being Mr. Eagle-Eye, ha ha.
So when everybody went to bed Jess took a chance, texted Bridget from his room and told her to wait up for him. When Jess heard Steph and Brendan go downstairs he saw his break and he took it. He got Bridget and the two of them snuck out to the Inn.
Jess swears he just wanted to spend some time alone with her, that he had no intention of going any further than a kiss. But when they got out there and started talking one thing led to another and next thing he knew he was on his way to third base, ha ha.
Then I came charging in and ruined it all.
Jesse swore he wasn't going to screw Bridget, and I believe him. He said he could hardly believe he was lucky enough to make out with her. Just the look of pure puppy-dog infatuation on his face told me he was being honest. He really likes this girl.
He said before I busted them they were talking about maybe going out, but that they'd have to keep it quiet until she could break it off with the guy she had been seeing. Which meant they couldn't tell Steph, because the guy is a friend of Brendan's. They were trying to figure out how to sneak around for the next couple months until Boyfriend went off for some summer abroad pre-college program, then Jess and Bridget could be together in the open.
But I had to go open my big yap in front of Steph and ruin it all. And now Jess doubts Bridget will even want to talk to him again, let alone anything else. Apparently Steph and Bridget are still on the outs too, because Bridget went back home on Sunday and called up boyfriend and told him what happened and that it was over between them.
It's like a damned soap opera.
But I gotta say, that makes me like that Bridget even more. She's got balls. She certainly seems to take responsibility for her actions, even if her judgment may have been questionable in the first place. But I ain't pointing fingers when it comes to questionable judgment when it comes to matters of the teenage heart. I get that part. I may be an old Fuck but I remember.
Shit, I really do need to learn how to keep my cakehole shut. My ex-wife and my Wife have both told me that a million times. Now my son, in his own roundabout way.
Well, I felt like a total jerk after Jess unloaded all that on me, but I was also relieved that he was talking to me again. I apologized for fucking things up for him but tried to walk that line between parent and buddy, at least paying lip service to the "you gotta live with the consequences your actions" shit.
So after that the game started and we kinda talked a little more between pitches and innings, about school and summer plans and sports and shit, but we kept circling back around to Bridget. Poor kid's really hung up on her. He asked me what I used to do when a girl I liked got pissed at me, how I got her to forgive me. I had to laugh at that, 'cause that didn't happen very often. The forgiveness part, not the pissed-off girl part, ha ha.
I told Jess I had my share of situations kinda like his, girls I liked who didn't know I existed or who dropped me for the jock or the guy with the cool car. And that I usually did the only thing I knew how to do. I wrote songs about them. Sometimes I'd sing them to the girl, try to win her back. That only worked a couple times. Mostly I just wrote the lyrics and melodies and filed them away. A few of them made it onto demo tapes later on, but not many.
Jess just rolled his eyes and shrugged and said "Oh, great." I asked him what he meant by that and he said "Dad, I can't write her a fucking song! It would suck and she'd laugh her ass off at me! I'm not you, ya know."
Gotta admit, that made me both a little proud and a little sad. But I told him that was bullshit; he could write her a song if he wanted to. A song is just poetry set to music. All he had to do was write down what he wanted to say to Bridget. And if he wanted me to, I'd help him with the music.
That actually got a little smile out of the Boy. He thought about it a minute, then asked me if I was serious. I told him Hell yeah -- I was serious as a heart attack. Together we could write the best damned apology/give me a chance begging song in the world, ha ha. And I'd even teach him to play it on the guitar so he could serenade her on her balcony, like Romeo and Juliet.
Okay, so apparently I went a little too far with that imagery, but I could tell Jess was seriously thinking about my offer. I told myself to back off, let the Kid figure things out himself, not to push. But I was pretty excited about the idea of helping him out. Maybe it's because I feel guilty and this is a little chance to try to clean up the mess I created. Or maybe it's because I hate to see the poor kid in misery. Or maybe it's because I'm an egomaniac who can write a song about any damned thing, ha ha.
Naw, I'm really just a big hopeless romantic at heart, a sucker for happy endings. And I really hope Jesse can succeed with this one. And not just in the "Happy Ending" sense, if ya know what I'm saying, ha ha. I like this Bridget girl, I think she'd be good for Jesse.
Anyway, I vowed to practice my new mantra of keeping my mouth shut, so I left it alone after that. I didn't bring up Bridget for the rest of the game, but I did tell Jess I was sorry I won't be around much this summer because of the tour. He said "it's okay, Dad," like he always does.
That made me even feel worse. I realized I really didn't want to spend more than half the summer away from my family. I never did like being gone when school was out, but this year it's gonna be especially hard. Steph's going off to college, Jess and I have this new phase in our relationship, the Chuckleheads are getting bigger and soon they won't think I'm cool anymore. I don't want to miss any more moments with my kids than I have to.
So I asked Jess if he'd like to come on the road with us to Europe. Without asking his mother about it first. The second the words passed my lips I felt my gut tighten. Shit. There I go shooting off my big mouth again.
But thankfully Jesse has a good head on his shoulders. His first reaction was surprise, then excitement. But then he said "Uh, Dad... I don't know." He said it would be really cool to be on the road with us, he had a blast on his birthday weekend. But he wasn't sure it was the best idea because he needed to find out if he should do something for school, AP courses or volunteer credits or something.
I told him that was fine, to think about it and talk to his guidance counselor and let me know. And that I'd talk to his mother. He nodded and smirked. I know he was thinking about Bridget. If she gives him a second chance Jesse won't be coming to Europe with me. Nope, he's gonna give up a chance to tour with the world's biggest rock and roll show.... for a girl.
That's My Boy.
So when I dropped Jess off at home he shook my hand and gave me a hug and said "Thanks for the game, Dad." I told him to get some sleep and watched him go in the door before I told my driver to bring me home. I wasn't a block away when I got a text from Jess saying he was gonna write a song for Bridget and he'd like me to help him, if I'm not too busy.
No problem, Son.
10:15
Bedroom
Holy Crap, it's been a long day. I'm wiped out.
Went with Steph and Dorothea to check out one of the three colleges Steph has narrowed her list to. It was a nice place, she seemed to really like it. Small enough that she won't be just a number but not so small that she'll be singled out as the Rock Star's kid. Good reputation, too. Apparently right now it's her second choice; she and D went to her first choice last month while I was on the road and they're checking out the third school in May. Steph has to decide by Memorial Day where's she'll be spending my money come fall, ha ha.
I can hardly believe my Little Girl is almost a grown woman. In a little more than a month she'll be 18, and off starting a life of her own. Hope she doesn't forget about me. I'm so damned proud of her, the beautiful, talented, smart young woman she's become. I know Dorothea gets 95% of the credit for that but I'm gonna proudly claim my 5%, ha ha. After all, she's definitely gotten a few traits from me -- her stubbornnness and her temper, at least.
She's an amazing kid, my daughter. I love her so much.
So while Dorothea was talking to some campus outreach program person today Steph and I wandered around campus a little, just checking things out. We talked about all the big stuff coming up real soon -- her 18th birthday, prom, graduation. I asked her if there was anything special she wants for a birthday or graduation gift. She said she could use a new laptop for school, or an iPad might be nice.
I just smiled. I've already ordered her new car.
And I have another surprise lined up for her, for next week. I'm gonna tell her next weekend when we're out at the Hamptons house for Easter. I asked Richie if Nikki would be willing to make Steph a Prom dress, maybe let Steph help design it. Of course they both jumped at the chance. So next week Nikki's flying out here to meet with Steph and make it happen. Steph's gonna be so excited; I can't wait to see her face.
Least I can do for my Baby Girl. She's a good kid, she works hard, she helps others. She deserves to be a Princess on Prom night.
And while we were wandering and talking today I asked Steph to do me a favor -- lay off her brother. I apologized for the whole mess out at the Jersey house last weekend and I admitted what really happened; I went charging down to the Inn because I was sure she and Brendan had snuck down there.
She just rolled her eyes and kinda giggled and sighed "Oh, Daddy... I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself." I told her I know that, I just don't want to admit it. And to cut me some slack too.
My Stephie just gave me a hug and told me it's okay, and she'll back off Jesse. She said she doesn't think it's cool that Bridget was making out with Jess when she was seeing Brendan's friend, but she guesses she gets it. She knew Jess had a crush on Bridget but she didn't think anything would ever come of it. Steph said she didn't think Jesse had the balls to even have a coherent conversation with Bridget, let alone make out with her.
Yep, she's my Kid for sure. Accusing her brother of having no balls. Then again, maybe she gets that from her Mother.
And now Steph's not sure what's up because she and Bridget aren't talking. She was just pissed at Jesse for getting in the middle of everything and screwing up their plans for Prom. I guess Brendan and Steph and Bridget and Whatshisname were all going to double date. Apparently not anymore.
For once I remembered to keep my mouth shut. I didn't tell Steph anything Jess and I talked about at the game, or that Jess is still pining for this girl. I just said I was impressed by Bridget when I met her last weekend, she seemed like an intelligent, sweet, mature young lady. Steph said yeah, she's really a good person at heart. And she left it at that. So did I.
So after our long day out I went back to D's and played with the Chuckles a little bit, then wandered into Jesse's room to see how he was doing. He was in the middle of trigonometry homework (so I was no help whatsoever, ha ha), but he took a break to say "hey."
I asked him how the lyrics were coming along and he just shrugged and said "okay, I guess." He didn't want to share yet, said he needs to work on them some more. I just said okay and told him to hang in there, to call me if he wants to talk. He agreed and told me songwriting is hard, especially since nothing rhymes with "Bridget."
He's right. Widget... midget.... that's pretty much it. Not exactly love song material, ha ha.
Then I headed back here to spend a little time with my Wife who is also dog-tired from her first day back at work. We're both up and out early tomorrow; she's going to Baltimore to meet with some Assistant U.S. Attorney down there and I'm headed out to Philly for some Foundation stuff. We promised each other to have a quiet, romantic late dinner when we get back. Hopefully we'll both be able to stay awake for it, ha ha.
And on that note... lights... OUT.
Living Room
Home from the game. Should go to bed but I'm not tired.
Had a good night with Jess. He was kinda quiet at the beginning, didn't really have much to say when I picked him up. Just small talk about the game, homework, that kind of stuff.
We got to the stadium and watched the end of batting practice, got a couple hot dogs and drinks. While we were waiting for the game to start I asked Jess what he wanted to do this summer. He kinda shrugged and said he didn't know, hadn't really thought about it. But I wouldn't be around, so what did it matter to me?
That punched me right in the gut. It was so unlike him -- of all my kids Jess has always been the one to understand me being away, on the road. He's never tried to make me feel guilty about being gone. I've always been able to conjure that guilt all on my own, but he's never tried to push those buttons. I could hardly believe my ears.
I asked him why he said that and he just shrugged. He wouldn't look at me, which is also totally unlike Jess. He's always been the one to look me in the eye. So I got to the point, asked Jesse if he was pissed at me about what happened last weekend, if he had something he wanted to say to me.
He shook his head and mumbled "no," then kinda sighed. He said he wasn't mad at me, he was just bummed out. And sick of Steph being such a bitch. I told him to watch his mouth about his sister (though inside I chuckled and thought "Amen") and asked him why he was bummed. When he answered that it was no big deal and I probably wouldn't care, I just said "try me."
Then he tried to change the subject and asked me if he could have a beer. Nice try, kid. Of course I said no and asked him again why he was bummed out. When he finally looked at me I could tell in an instant. Poor kid looked miserable, like somebody had just kicked his dog.
Girl trouble.
I asked if it was Bridget and he just shrugged. I took that as a "yes." I pushed a little, told him she seemed like a nice girl, bright, polite, outgoing, and certainly easy on the eyes. And probably on the lips too. He kinda smirked and blushed a little at that, and I knew I had him. And I breathed a little sigh of relief.
Turns out poor Jesse is mooning over Bridget. She won't give him the time of day since the blowout last weekend. He really likes her, has for awhile, even when he was screwing around with that other Madison girl. But he never thought she'd give him a second thought because she's been kinda semi-dating some jock. Yeah kid, I know that feeling.
Well, I guess last weekend when the kids were working at the Kitchen Bridget and Jesse had a little time to talk. He said there was a spark between them; she kept smiling at him and touching his hand and giving him those shy little fluttery-eyelash looks. But they didn't have a chance to be alone because Steph was always around and I was being Mr. Eagle-Eye, ha ha.
So when everybody went to bed Jess took a chance, texted Bridget from his room and told her to wait up for him. When Jess heard Steph and Brendan go downstairs he saw his break and he took it. He got Bridget and the two of them snuck out to the Inn.
Jess swears he just wanted to spend some time alone with her, that he had no intention of going any further than a kiss. But when they got out there and started talking one thing led to another and next thing he knew he was on his way to third base, ha ha.
Then I came charging in and ruined it all.
Jesse swore he wasn't going to screw Bridget, and I believe him. He said he could hardly believe he was lucky enough to make out with her. Just the look of pure puppy-dog infatuation on his face told me he was being honest. He really likes this girl.
He said before I busted them they were talking about maybe going out, but that they'd have to keep it quiet until she could break it off with the guy she had been seeing. Which meant they couldn't tell Steph, because the guy is a friend of Brendan's. They were trying to figure out how to sneak around for the next couple months until Boyfriend went off for some summer abroad pre-college program, then Jess and Bridget could be together in the open.
But I had to go open my big yap in front of Steph and ruin it all. And now Jess doubts Bridget will even want to talk to him again, let alone anything else. Apparently Steph and Bridget are still on the outs too, because Bridget went back home on Sunday and called up boyfriend and told him what happened and that it was over between them.
It's like a damned soap opera.
But I gotta say, that makes me like that Bridget even more. She's got balls. She certainly seems to take responsibility for her actions, even if her judgment may have been questionable in the first place. But I ain't pointing fingers when it comes to questionable judgment when it comes to matters of the teenage heart. I get that part. I may be an old Fuck but I remember.
Shit, I really do need to learn how to keep my cakehole shut. My ex-wife and my Wife have both told me that a million times. Now my son, in his own roundabout way.
Well, I felt like a total jerk after Jess unloaded all that on me, but I was also relieved that he was talking to me again. I apologized for fucking things up for him but tried to walk that line between parent and buddy, at least paying lip service to the "you gotta live with the consequences your actions" shit.
So after that the game started and we kinda talked a little more between pitches and innings, about school and summer plans and sports and shit, but we kept circling back around to Bridget. Poor kid's really hung up on her. He asked me what I used to do when a girl I liked got pissed at me, how I got her to forgive me. I had to laugh at that, 'cause that didn't happen very often. The forgiveness part, not the pissed-off girl part, ha ha.
I told Jess I had my share of situations kinda like his, girls I liked who didn't know I existed or who dropped me for the jock or the guy with the cool car. And that I usually did the only thing I knew how to do. I wrote songs about them. Sometimes I'd sing them to the girl, try to win her back. That only worked a couple times. Mostly I just wrote the lyrics and melodies and filed them away. A few of them made it onto demo tapes later on, but not many.
Jess just rolled his eyes and shrugged and said "Oh, great." I asked him what he meant by that and he said "Dad, I can't write her a fucking song! It would suck and she'd laugh her ass off at me! I'm not you, ya know."
Gotta admit, that made me both a little proud and a little sad. But I told him that was bullshit; he could write her a song if he wanted to. A song is just poetry set to music. All he had to do was write down what he wanted to say to Bridget. And if he wanted me to, I'd help him with the music.
That actually got a little smile out of the Boy. He thought about it a minute, then asked me if I was serious. I told him Hell yeah -- I was serious as a heart attack. Together we could write the best damned apology/give me a chance begging song in the world, ha ha. And I'd even teach him to play it on the guitar so he could serenade her on her balcony, like Romeo and Juliet.
Okay, so apparently I went a little too far with that imagery, but I could tell Jess was seriously thinking about my offer. I told myself to back off, let the Kid figure things out himself, not to push. But I was pretty excited about the idea of helping him out. Maybe it's because I feel guilty and this is a little chance to try to clean up the mess I created. Or maybe it's because I hate to see the poor kid in misery. Or maybe it's because I'm an egomaniac who can write a song about any damned thing, ha ha.
Naw, I'm really just a big hopeless romantic at heart, a sucker for happy endings. And I really hope Jesse can succeed with this one. And not just in the "Happy Ending" sense, if ya know what I'm saying, ha ha. I like this Bridget girl, I think she'd be good for Jesse.
Anyway, I vowed to practice my new mantra of keeping my mouth shut, so I left it alone after that. I didn't bring up Bridget for the rest of the game, but I did tell Jess I was sorry I won't be around much this summer because of the tour. He said "it's okay, Dad," like he always does.
That made me even feel worse. I realized I really didn't want to spend more than half the summer away from my family. I never did like being gone when school was out, but this year it's gonna be especially hard. Steph's going off to college, Jess and I have this new phase in our relationship, the Chuckleheads are getting bigger and soon they won't think I'm cool anymore. I don't want to miss any more moments with my kids than I have to.
So I asked Jess if he'd like to come on the road with us to Europe. Without asking his mother about it first. The second the words passed my lips I felt my gut tighten. Shit. There I go shooting off my big mouth again.
But thankfully Jesse has a good head on his shoulders. His first reaction was surprise, then excitement. But then he said "Uh, Dad... I don't know." He said it would be really cool to be on the road with us, he had a blast on his birthday weekend. But he wasn't sure it was the best idea because he needed to find out if he should do something for school, AP courses or volunteer credits or something.
I told him that was fine, to think about it and talk to his guidance counselor and let me know. And that I'd talk to his mother. He nodded and smirked. I know he was thinking about Bridget. If she gives him a second chance Jesse won't be coming to Europe with me. Nope, he's gonna give up a chance to tour with the world's biggest rock and roll show.... for a girl.
That's My Boy.
So when I dropped Jess off at home he shook my hand and gave me a hug and said "Thanks for the game, Dad." I told him to get some sleep and watched him go in the door before I told my driver to bring me home. I wasn't a block away when I got a text from Jess saying he was gonna write a song for Bridget and he'd like me to help him, if I'm not too busy.
No problem, Son.
10:15
Bedroom
Holy Crap, it's been a long day. I'm wiped out.
Went with Steph and Dorothea to check out one of the three colleges Steph has narrowed her list to. It was a nice place, she seemed to really like it. Small enough that she won't be just a number but not so small that she'll be singled out as the Rock Star's kid. Good reputation, too. Apparently right now it's her second choice; she and D went to her first choice last month while I was on the road and they're checking out the third school in May. Steph has to decide by Memorial Day where's she'll be spending my money come fall, ha ha.
I can hardly believe my Little Girl is almost a grown woman. In a little more than a month she'll be 18, and off starting a life of her own. Hope she doesn't forget about me. I'm so damned proud of her, the beautiful, talented, smart young woman she's become. I know Dorothea gets 95% of the credit for that but I'm gonna proudly claim my 5%, ha ha. After all, she's definitely gotten a few traits from me -- her stubbornnness and her temper, at least.
She's an amazing kid, my daughter. I love her so much.
So while Dorothea was talking to some campus outreach program person today Steph and I wandered around campus a little, just checking things out. We talked about all the big stuff coming up real soon -- her 18th birthday, prom, graduation. I asked her if there was anything special she wants for a birthday or graduation gift. She said she could use a new laptop for school, or an iPad might be nice.
I just smiled. I've already ordered her new car.
And I have another surprise lined up for her, for next week. I'm gonna tell her next weekend when we're out at the Hamptons house for Easter. I asked Richie if Nikki would be willing to make Steph a Prom dress, maybe let Steph help design it. Of course they both jumped at the chance. So next week Nikki's flying out here to meet with Steph and make it happen. Steph's gonna be so excited; I can't wait to see her face.
Least I can do for my Baby Girl. She's a good kid, she works hard, she helps others. She deserves to be a Princess on Prom night.
And while we were wandering and talking today I asked Steph to do me a favor -- lay off her brother. I apologized for the whole mess out at the Jersey house last weekend and I admitted what really happened; I went charging down to the Inn because I was sure she and Brendan had snuck down there.
She just rolled her eyes and kinda giggled and sighed "Oh, Daddy... I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself." I told her I know that, I just don't want to admit it. And to cut me some slack too.
My Stephie just gave me a hug and told me it's okay, and she'll back off Jesse. She said she doesn't think it's cool that Bridget was making out with Jess when she was seeing Brendan's friend, but she guesses she gets it. She knew Jess had a crush on Bridget but she didn't think anything would ever come of it. Steph said she didn't think Jesse had the balls to even have a coherent conversation with Bridget, let alone make out with her.
Yep, she's my Kid for sure. Accusing her brother of having no balls. Then again, maybe she gets that from her Mother.
And now Steph's not sure what's up because she and Bridget aren't talking. She was just pissed at Jesse for getting in the middle of everything and screwing up their plans for Prom. I guess Brendan and Steph and Bridget and Whatshisname were all going to double date. Apparently not anymore.
For once I remembered to keep my mouth shut. I didn't tell Steph anything Jess and I talked about at the game, or that Jess is still pining for this girl. I just said I was impressed by Bridget when I met her last weekend, she seemed like an intelligent, sweet, mature young lady. Steph said yeah, she's really a good person at heart. And she left it at that. So did I.
So after our long day out I went back to D's and played with the Chuckles a little bit, then wandered into Jesse's room to see how he was doing. He was in the middle of trigonometry homework (so I was no help whatsoever, ha ha), but he took a break to say "hey."
I asked him how the lyrics were coming along and he just shrugged and said "okay, I guess." He didn't want to share yet, said he needs to work on them some more. I just said okay and told him to hang in there, to call me if he wants to talk. He agreed and told me songwriting is hard, especially since nothing rhymes with "Bridget."
He's right. Widget... midget.... that's pretty much it. Not exactly love song material, ha ha.
Then I headed back here to spend a little time with my Wife who is also dog-tired from her first day back at work. We're both up and out early tomorrow; she's going to Baltimore to meet with some Assistant U.S. Attorney down there and I'm headed out to Philly for some Foundation stuff. We promised each other to have a quiet, romantic late dinner when we get back. Hopefully we'll both be able to stay awake for it, ha ha.
And on that note... lights... OUT.
Sunday, April 17
5:15 pm
Living Room
Hanging out, killing a little time before heading out again.
Just got home a little bit ago. Spent a nice day out with my Wife, just the two of us. Slept in this morning, had coffee, read the paper, wandered out for lunch. Then we did something I haven't done in a long time. We packed a cooler and grabbed a blanket and caught a cab to the Park. Spent the afternoon laying on the grass, reading and talking and enjoying the sunshine. It was sweet and romantic. We should do it more often.
Spent the evening over at Dorothea's last night, family dinner and movie night. Just us and D and the kids. We watched the newest Harry Potter movie, which Jake had to keep explaining to me because I was totally lost. I guess maybe I should have seen the last couple Potter movies, huh? I recognized most of the actors but had no idea who half the characters were, ha ha. Do I get points for that?
Cate told me I should read the books--she even offered to load 'em up on my iPad for me. Why? The last movie comes out this summer, then I'll know the whole story, ha ha.
It felt good spending a night in with my family. Of course Romeo wanted to sit on the couch with me and Cate, and Russell wanted to sit on my shoulder. The movie was pretty intense in parts so Romey spent a good amount of time hugging me and burying his little face against my chest, hiding his eyes.
Russell was a little scared too, so he crawled in my pocket. Apparently since I got my hair cut it's not long enough for him to hide in anymore, ha ha. And thank God he didn't try to crawl in my jeans pocket. I got enough problems keeping Superman under wraps without something slithery down there, ha ha.
I got a little misty about halfway through the movie when I realized how happy I was -- Cate was snuggled up against me on my left with her head on my shoulder, my littlest Boy cuddled up against me on my other side, under my other arm. I felt surrounded by love.
Cate saw me blinking away my happy little tears and leaned up to give me a kiss. Then she whispered in my ear "suck it up, you Big Sap." That's my romantic wife, ha ha. But I know she felt the same way.
Taking Jesse to the Yankees game tonight. It was kind of a last-minute decision. Cate didn't want to go because she has a busy day tomorrow; she wants to get to bed early. She's going back to work tomorrow and she has her physical therapy appointment first-thing. Plus she hates the Yankees and doesn't really care about the Rangers, ha ha. Even though it's a school night I figured it would be a fun outing for me and Jess, just us guys. He'll stay up half the night anyway so why not hang out with his Old Man?
I guess I also have an ulterior motive. I want to spend some time alone with Jess, see if maybe we can talk. Truth be told I feel kinda shitty for what happened last weekend out at the Jersey house. He's hardly spoken to me since we all had that sit-down at Dorothea's last Sunday. Last night he hardly grunted two words at me. I know he's pissed because I told D about him and that little Bridget girl, but I told him I wouldn't be able to keep it from his mother. Steph dimed him out, anyway.
Last night he was so sullen and standoffish. I tried to tell myself he was just being a typical teenager, acting out because he was mad and probably a little embarrassed that he got caught with his pants down. Literally. But the truth is, his silence hurt me a little.
Jess still being pissy to his sister too but I can't really blame him for that. Steph was a little Bitch to him last night when we were over there. My Little Princess has a definite dark side. But I can't say I didn't warn the Boy that if his sister found out he was screwing around with her friends there would be Hell to pay.
But I still feel a little guilty about this deal. I told Cate that today and she made a good point: the reason I went charging down to the Inn last Saturday night was because I thought it was Steph and Brendan down there. If I had thought it was Jesse, would I still have gone? Or would I just have left him alone with a little wink and a smirk and let things take their course?
I had to be honest and admit I probably wouldn't have done anything. Not busted them, anyway. I probably would have pulled Jess aside in the morning and asked what happened, maybe gave him a half-stern talking to about "not in my house." But I wouldn't have dashed out in my bare feet in the middle of the night.
Yeah, I know. Cate didn't even have to say it. Double standard. I don't want Steph to be a normal teenager and explore her sexuality, but I'm secretly proud of Jess for doing exactly that. I can't help it. I'm an Italian Daddy, ha ha. It's my nature to protect my Princess.
I don't want my Baby Girl to grow up. And I sure as Hell don't want her to get hurt. I remember the things Dorothea and I were doing at her age.... I don't want to think about Steph doing that stuff. Not the sexual stuff, anyway. The romance part -- sure. That was wonderful. Young love is so pure and innocent and intense... I want her to experience that, to make those fond memories. I just don't want her to suffer the heartbreak.
As for Jess, he's doing exactly what I used to do. He's playing the field, though admittedly he's a little more gentlemanly about it than I ever was. I was a complete prick to most of the girls I banged when I was in High School. But still, there were a few I fell for before Dorothea. And when they kicked me to the curb it hurt. Not that I was about to admit it.
I just wrote crappy songs about it, ha ha.
It ain't easy being a teenager, in any era.
I just hope tonight Jess and I can talk it out. I miss talking to him. In the last few months I've realized I think of him not just as my son, but as my friend. I hope he thinks of me that way too. And I hope what happened hasn't shaken his trust in me.
It ain't easy being a Dad, either.
Living Room
Hanging out, killing a little time before heading out again.
Just got home a little bit ago. Spent a nice day out with my Wife, just the two of us. Slept in this morning, had coffee, read the paper, wandered out for lunch. Then we did something I haven't done in a long time. We packed a cooler and grabbed a blanket and caught a cab to the Park. Spent the afternoon laying on the grass, reading and talking and enjoying the sunshine. It was sweet and romantic. We should do it more often.
Spent the evening over at Dorothea's last night, family dinner and movie night. Just us and D and the kids. We watched the newest Harry Potter movie, which Jake had to keep explaining to me because I was totally lost. I guess maybe I should have seen the last couple Potter movies, huh? I recognized most of the actors but had no idea who half the characters were, ha ha. Do I get points for that?
Cate told me I should read the books--she even offered to load 'em up on my iPad for me. Why? The last movie comes out this summer, then I'll know the whole story, ha ha.
It felt good spending a night in with my family. Of course Romeo wanted to sit on the couch with me and Cate, and Russell wanted to sit on my shoulder. The movie was pretty intense in parts so Romey spent a good amount of time hugging me and burying his little face against my chest, hiding his eyes.
Russell was a little scared too, so he crawled in my pocket. Apparently since I got my hair cut it's not long enough for him to hide in anymore, ha ha. And thank God he didn't try to crawl in my jeans pocket. I got enough problems keeping Superman under wraps without something slithery down there, ha ha.
I got a little misty about halfway through the movie when I realized how happy I was -- Cate was snuggled up against me on my left with her head on my shoulder, my littlest Boy cuddled up against me on my other side, under my other arm. I felt surrounded by love.
Cate saw me blinking away my happy little tears and leaned up to give me a kiss. Then she whispered in my ear "suck it up, you Big Sap." That's my romantic wife, ha ha. But I know she felt the same way.
Taking Jesse to the Yankees game tonight. It was kind of a last-minute decision. Cate didn't want to go because she has a busy day tomorrow; she wants to get to bed early. She's going back to work tomorrow and she has her physical therapy appointment first-thing. Plus she hates the Yankees and doesn't really care about the Rangers, ha ha. Even though it's a school night I figured it would be a fun outing for me and Jess, just us guys. He'll stay up half the night anyway so why not hang out with his Old Man?
I guess I also have an ulterior motive. I want to spend some time alone with Jess, see if maybe we can talk. Truth be told I feel kinda shitty for what happened last weekend out at the Jersey house. He's hardly spoken to me since we all had that sit-down at Dorothea's last Sunday. Last night he hardly grunted two words at me. I know he's pissed because I told D about him and that little Bridget girl, but I told him I wouldn't be able to keep it from his mother. Steph dimed him out, anyway.
Last night he was so sullen and standoffish. I tried to tell myself he was just being a typical teenager, acting out because he was mad and probably a little embarrassed that he got caught with his pants down. Literally. But the truth is, his silence hurt me a little.
Jess still being pissy to his sister too but I can't really blame him for that. Steph was a little Bitch to him last night when we were over there. My Little Princess has a definite dark side. But I can't say I didn't warn the Boy that if his sister found out he was screwing around with her friends there would be Hell to pay.
But I still feel a little guilty about this deal. I told Cate that today and she made a good point: the reason I went charging down to the Inn last Saturday night was because I thought it was Steph and Brendan down there. If I had thought it was Jesse, would I still have gone? Or would I just have left him alone with a little wink and a smirk and let things take their course?
I had to be honest and admit I probably wouldn't have done anything. Not busted them, anyway. I probably would have pulled Jess aside in the morning and asked what happened, maybe gave him a half-stern talking to about "not in my house." But I wouldn't have dashed out in my bare feet in the middle of the night.
Yeah, I know. Cate didn't even have to say it. Double standard. I don't want Steph to be a normal teenager and explore her sexuality, but I'm secretly proud of Jess for doing exactly that. I can't help it. I'm an Italian Daddy, ha ha. It's my nature to protect my Princess.
I don't want my Baby Girl to grow up. And I sure as Hell don't want her to get hurt. I remember the things Dorothea and I were doing at her age.... I don't want to think about Steph doing that stuff. Not the sexual stuff, anyway. The romance part -- sure. That was wonderful. Young love is so pure and innocent and intense... I want her to experience that, to make those fond memories. I just don't want her to suffer the heartbreak.
As for Jess, he's doing exactly what I used to do. He's playing the field, though admittedly he's a little more gentlemanly about it than I ever was. I was a complete prick to most of the girls I banged when I was in High School. But still, there were a few I fell for before Dorothea. And when they kicked me to the curb it hurt. Not that I was about to admit it.
I just wrote crappy songs about it, ha ha.
It ain't easy being a teenager, in any era.
I just hope tonight Jess and I can talk it out. I miss talking to him. In the last few months I've realized I think of him not just as my son, but as my friend. I hope he thinks of me that way too. And I hope what happened hasn't shaken his trust in me.
It ain't easy being a Dad, either.
Saturday, April 16
9:00 am
Bed
I'm such a good husband.
I made my wife breakfast in bed. Well, I made breakfast, then I brought it to bed, ha ha. Coffee and juice and scrambled eggs and tomatoes and toast.
It's a gray rainy day so I couldn't think of a much better way to spend the morning than in bed with Cate, having a lazy breakfast and reading the paper.
Well, there is ONE other way I can think of.... but that ain't happening today. Dammit.
Cate told me if I don't stop whining she's gonna make me wait a whole extra week to screw her, ha ha. Meanie. But I get it--she's the one dealing with the cramps and shit, and I'm the one whining. Sorry Baby.
It ain't easy to be a woman, that's for damned sure.
But her tits look great at this "time of the month," heh heh. God, can't wait to see them when she's preggo. That will be a bonus for me, a little reward for knocking her up. AND she won't have to deal with having her period for almost a whole year! How considerate of me to do that for her, ha ha.
Lazy day today, tonight we're having dinner at Dorothea's. Spending a quiet family evening in, gonna watch a movie or play a game or something. This is really the last weekend we're gonna have to just hang out together; next weekend is Easter. The whole family is coming out to the Hamptons house--all the cousins and aunts and uncles and Grandparents. There will be no relaxing there, ha ha.
Then I'm back on the road the weekend after that. For a couple months.
If I can just make it through the summer, then I'm done. Finally, this tour will be DONE. Seems like it's been going on forever. I guess because it has. 14 months and counting.
I'm ready to be done.
And hopefully I'll be coming home to a glowing, pregnant wife. Or better yet, she'll be coming home with me.
Still trying to figure out how to convince Cate to come with me to Europe. Gonna have to think on that.
Today I'm just gonna enjoy being with her here. Snuggle under the covers and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Bed
I'm such a good husband.
I made my wife breakfast in bed. Well, I made breakfast, then I brought it to bed, ha ha. Coffee and juice and scrambled eggs and tomatoes and toast.
It's a gray rainy day so I couldn't think of a much better way to spend the morning than in bed with Cate, having a lazy breakfast and reading the paper.
Well, there is ONE other way I can think of.... but that ain't happening today. Dammit.
Cate told me if I don't stop whining she's gonna make me wait a whole extra week to screw her, ha ha. Meanie. But I get it--she's the one dealing with the cramps and shit, and I'm the one whining. Sorry Baby.
It ain't easy to be a woman, that's for damned sure.
But her tits look great at this "time of the month," heh heh. God, can't wait to see them when she's preggo. That will be a bonus for me, a little reward for knocking her up. AND she won't have to deal with having her period for almost a whole year! How considerate of me to do that for her, ha ha.
Lazy day today, tonight we're having dinner at Dorothea's. Spending a quiet family evening in, gonna watch a movie or play a game or something. This is really the last weekend we're gonna have to just hang out together; next weekend is Easter. The whole family is coming out to the Hamptons house--all the cousins and aunts and uncles and Grandparents. There will be no relaxing there, ha ha.
Then I'm back on the road the weekend after that. For a couple months.
If I can just make it through the summer, then I'm done. Finally, this tour will be DONE. Seems like it's been going on forever. I guess because it has. 14 months and counting.
I'm ready to be done.
And hopefully I'll be coming home to a glowing, pregnant wife. Or better yet, she'll be coming home with me.
Still trying to figure out how to convince Cate to come with me to Europe. Gonna have to think on that.
Today I'm just gonna enjoy being with her here. Snuggle under the covers and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Friday, April 15
9:10 am
Waiting Room
At my Doc's, ready for my checkup. I'm early, gotta wait about 20 minutes. Got my coffee and the paper so I'm good.
Dropped Cate off at her physical therapy appt earlier. She's gotta go by her office and sit in on a meeting later this morning. I know that means she'll end up at the office most of the day, ha ha. She just gets sucked in there and loses track of time.
When I'm done here I'm going back to the apartment and taking care of some stuff, then going to Jake's school later. They're doing some kind of spring program thing; he has a part in a skit. I miss way too many of these things when I'm on the road so I'm gonna be sure to catch this one. Gotta get Jakey's early acting career on film for when they do the Jake Bongiovi: Behind the Music episode in 20 years, ha ha.
Tonight we're staying here in the City, catching a play and having a late dinner. Then hopefully back to the apartment to shag the night away. Then back out to the Jersey House for the weekend, to shag the weekend away. Maybe we'll just stay naked all weekend, ha ha.
I've been doing my research online -- my Doc told me to wait at least 3 weeks before sex but I've found several sites (including Mayo Clinic) that say its fine to "resume sexual activity" after 2 weeks if there are no complications. Well, my only complications so far are itchy nuts and blue balls, ha ha. And believe me, those side effects are no fun.
Dammit, c'mon clock. Ready to get on with this.
10:45 am
My Office
HOT DAMN, cleared for takeoff. Heh heh.
Doc gave me the thumbs-up. Well, kinda. Actually what he said was, despite the fact my recovery seems to be going remarkably well, he would PREFER I wait at least another week before "attempting ejaculation." I told him if I had to wait another week there would be no "attempting" involved. The damned thing's just gonna go off all by itself. Spontaneous ejaculation, ha ha.
Actually got a laugh out of Dr. Serious with that one. But he lectured me a little and told me to take it easy, don't rush, and to stop immediately if I have any pain or discomfort.
Yeah, Right. Stop. Okay, Doc. Whatever you say.
Though I guess if it was painful enough I'd get the idea myself.
Called Cate the second I stepped out Doc's door. Caught her right before she went into her meeting. She laughed and called me a Horny Bastard, but I can tell she's happy too.
Maybe we'll have time for a quickie before we go out tonight. Don't think I'll be able to sit still in the theater. Or at Jakey's school thing, for that matter.
Hang in there, Superman. It's almost time to fly.
Ha ha.
5:30 pm
Kitchen
SONOFABITCH!!!
What the FUCK does Mother Nature have against me?
Cate just got home. Like I predicted she was at the office the rest of the day. When she finished up she texted me and said she had to stop on the way home and pick up a few things, and that she'd hurry up and change when she got here and we'd head out for a drink before the show.
I was hoping we'd have time for a little romantic interlude before we left, so I was waiting for her. Wearing nothing but a tie and my little black boxer briefs she likes so much.
So she just walked in the door and saw me and kinda groaned. Then she came over and gave me a big hug and a kiss and said "Baby, I'm sooooo sorry."
That got me all worried until she pulled something out of her shopping bag and handed it to me.
Fucking TAMPONS.
She started her period today.
Goddammit, I gotta wait FIVE MORE DAYS.
FUCK.
Waiting Room
At my Doc's, ready for my checkup. I'm early, gotta wait about 20 minutes. Got my coffee and the paper so I'm good.
Dropped Cate off at her physical therapy appt earlier. She's gotta go by her office and sit in on a meeting later this morning. I know that means she'll end up at the office most of the day, ha ha. She just gets sucked in there and loses track of time.
When I'm done here I'm going back to the apartment and taking care of some stuff, then going to Jake's school later. They're doing some kind of spring program thing; he has a part in a skit. I miss way too many of these things when I'm on the road so I'm gonna be sure to catch this one. Gotta get Jakey's early acting career on film for when they do the Jake Bongiovi: Behind the Music episode in 20 years, ha ha.
Tonight we're staying here in the City, catching a play and having a late dinner. Then hopefully back to the apartment to shag the night away. Then back out to the Jersey House for the weekend, to shag the weekend away. Maybe we'll just stay naked all weekend, ha ha.
I've been doing my research online -- my Doc told me to wait at least 3 weeks before sex but I've found several sites (including Mayo Clinic) that say its fine to "resume sexual activity" after 2 weeks if there are no complications. Well, my only complications so far are itchy nuts and blue balls, ha ha. And believe me, those side effects are no fun.
Dammit, c'mon clock. Ready to get on with this.
10:45 am
My Office
HOT DAMN, cleared for takeoff. Heh heh.
Doc gave me the thumbs-up. Well, kinda. Actually what he said was, despite the fact my recovery seems to be going remarkably well, he would PREFER I wait at least another week before "attempting ejaculation." I told him if I had to wait another week there would be no "attempting" involved. The damned thing's just gonna go off all by itself. Spontaneous ejaculation, ha ha.
Actually got a laugh out of Dr. Serious with that one. But he lectured me a little and told me to take it easy, don't rush, and to stop immediately if I have any pain or discomfort.
Yeah, Right. Stop. Okay, Doc. Whatever you say.
Though I guess if it was painful enough I'd get the idea myself.
Called Cate the second I stepped out Doc's door. Caught her right before she went into her meeting. She laughed and called me a Horny Bastard, but I can tell she's happy too.
Maybe we'll have time for a quickie before we go out tonight. Don't think I'll be able to sit still in the theater. Or at Jakey's school thing, for that matter.
Hang in there, Superman. It's almost time to fly.
Ha ha.
5:30 pm
Kitchen
SONOFABITCH!!!
What the FUCK does Mother Nature have against me?
Cate just got home. Like I predicted she was at the office the rest of the day. When she finished up she texted me and said she had to stop on the way home and pick up a few things, and that she'd hurry up and change when she got here and we'd head out for a drink before the show.
I was hoping we'd have time for a little romantic interlude before we left, so I was waiting for her. Wearing nothing but a tie and my little black boxer briefs she likes so much.
So she just walked in the door and saw me and kinda groaned. Then she came over and gave me a big hug and a kiss and said "Baby, I'm sooooo sorry."
That got me all worried until she pulled something out of her shopping bag and handed it to me.
Fucking TAMPONS.
She started her period today.
Goddammit, I gotta wait FIVE MORE DAYS.
FUCK.
Thursday, April 14
9:05 am
Target
Playing Undercover Johnny, ha ha.
Sitting in the cafe at Target in Middletown, having my coffee, hiding under my hat. Came into town to run a few errands, decided to stop in here. I could use some new socks and need some shaving cream and stuff. And I miss going shopping for myself. Well, sometimes. Sometimes it's just a huge pain in the ass and I'm happy to let one of our staff deal with it, ha ha.
Haven't been to Target in years. Pretty cool place -- they have everything here. Now they even have groceries. I'm gonna pick up some goodies I haven't had in awhile, ha ha. And maybe I'll get some stuff to make Easter baskets for the kids.
That could be fun, building Easter baskets with Cate. Maybe we'll go out to the Hamptons house and celebrate Easter there. Do an egg hunt on the beach or something. Or an egg roll on the lawn, like at the White House.
Jess and Steph will probably think that idea is lame. Pfft. Fine. They won't get the good candy in their baskets, then. Probably all they want is iTunes gift cards or whatever anyway. And since they're still not talking to each other (or me) they can go hide in their rooms and sulk.
The Chuckleheads and I will have a perfectly fun time all by ourselves, running around the yard looking for baskets and eggs and marshmallow peeps and stuff. I'm sure Russell will enjoy it too, ha ha. Maybe I'll even make him his own little basket. Wonder what imaginary ferrets like by way of treats?
I like that idea--Easter on the Beach. As soon as I finish my coffee I'm heading for the Easter section.
Then I'll get my new socks. And maybe a couple pairs of workout shorts.
And some of that great granola cereal Cate got that one time -- with the chocolate and dried cherries in it. Damn, that stuff was good. Yeah, I'll get a couple boxes of that.
And maybe I can find a frame for that photo of Cate we found last night. Maybe a couple frames. I could get copies made of some of her favorite old photos -- in the Target Photo Lab! Aha! And then I could frame 'em up and we can put them around the house, and in her new office when I get it done. Yeah, that would be cool! Damn, I'm smart. Heh heh.
I love this place.
7:45 pm
Den
My Wife thinks I'm crazy. I think I'm organized. And Festive.
Got all the Easter basket goodies all laid out, assembly-line style. Candy, stuffed animals, Hot Wheels, action figures, coloring books and crayons, gift cards... and that fake grass crap. Probably need to get a few more things though.
I also bought egg-dye kits. I didn't know what kind works best so I bought one of each. We have like 12 different options now. I'll have Margaret get 10 or 12 dozen eggs and we'll spend a morning egg-dyeing out at the Hamptons House. It will be cool. Then I guess we'll have egg salad, ha ha.
I even found little toy ferrets for Russell's basket. They have these little animal bobble-head things called Littlest Pet Shop Pets. They have every animal you can think of --ostriches, whales, lizards, rabbits, dogs, cats, rats.... and weasels. I found two cute little ferrets; one purple and one pink. A boy and a girl. How cute. Romey's gonna love 'em. Russell too, ha ha.
They also had a dollar-store aisle thing at the front, with a bunch of little Easter goodies. I bought bunny ears for all the kids -- all different colors. They're headbands with the ears attached and I thought they were funny, so what the Hell. In fact, when I got all this stuff laid out earlier I put on the pink ones and went downstairs to find Cate. I even hopped into the Kitchen and wiggled my nose at her.
When she stopped laughing Cate kissed me and tugged on my ears and said I looked like a Deranged Easter Bunny. Then she checked out my ass and said I need a fluffy cotton tail. I told her I have some fuzzy eggs in my pants, heh heh. Now that my stubble's longer my nuts are nice and fluffy, like little baby chicks. I offered to let her pet 'em but she just laughed and smacked me on the ass and told me to hang in there, not much longer then I can stop feeling myself up and let her do it.
Tease.
Then she shooed me out of the kitchen and told me to hop my ass back up to wherever I came from while she finished dinner. And no, she's not helping me put together baskets tonight.
Fine. We'll do it this weekend. I'm gonna buy some more stuff for them anyway. $300 at Target doesn't go far these days.
10:30 pm
Upstairs Library
So Cate was downstairs watching the Phillies and doing something on her laptop. I was bored so I wandered upstairs. Came here and flopped down on the couch and looked around, thinking about what kinds of things I could have the decorator do to remake this room for Cate. I'm meeting with him next week, so probably should have something in mind.
I turned on the TV and started flipping through channels, came across an old Bruce concert. He was playing the harp on Promised Land. I used to play, Southside taught me. I was never very good at it. Apparently the fans liked it though. But I just kinda drifted away from it, lost interest.
So I watched a little more of the show and thought "Gee, wonder if I can still blow that thing?" I went down to my office on the main floor where all my music shit is and dug around in the closet until I found a harmonica. Also discovered I have about a thousand guitar strings in there, ha ha. And a couple drum heads.
Anyway, came back up here, lowered the TV, and just started messing around. Just blowing a little, then trying to remember how to play some of those great old Jukes tunes. And my own stuff. I just about had Born to Be My Baby figured out when I noticed Cate standing in the doorway.
Jesus Christ, the look she gave me... she had this hungry, sexy grin. She looked like she was gonna pounce on me and maul me. Not that I'd mind that. Not one bit.
I said "hey" and asked her if she was okay. She just said "don't stop" and came in and sat down on the other end of the couch and stared at me. It was a little creepy, actually.
But I played a little more, kinda watched Cate while I did it. She was practically drooling. Her eyes were all swirly and dark like they get when she's aroused, and she kept licking her lips. So I showed off a little, even though I still kinda suck at this, ha ha.
Then when I was done I just gave her a little grin and said "how's about that, Baby?"
She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Baby, you can play ME like that. Any time you want."
Jesus Christ. Superman was ready for takeoff in about a half a second.
Then my Cocktease Wife got up off the couch, kissed me, and left.
Goddammit. This fucking Doc appointment tomorrow better be my green light. I don't know who's hornier, me or Cate.
Okay, it's me.
Harmonica. Who knew?
Maybe I'll keep practicing. And I'll keep it in my nightstand, heh heh.
Target
Playing Undercover Johnny, ha ha.
Sitting in the cafe at Target in Middletown, having my coffee, hiding under my hat. Came into town to run a few errands, decided to stop in here. I could use some new socks and need some shaving cream and stuff. And I miss going shopping for myself. Well, sometimes. Sometimes it's just a huge pain in the ass and I'm happy to let one of our staff deal with it, ha ha.
Haven't been to Target in years. Pretty cool place -- they have everything here. Now they even have groceries. I'm gonna pick up some goodies I haven't had in awhile, ha ha. And maybe I'll get some stuff to make Easter baskets for the kids.
That could be fun, building Easter baskets with Cate. Maybe we'll go out to the Hamptons house and celebrate Easter there. Do an egg hunt on the beach or something. Or an egg roll on the lawn, like at the White House.
Jess and Steph will probably think that idea is lame. Pfft. Fine. They won't get the good candy in their baskets, then. Probably all they want is iTunes gift cards or whatever anyway. And since they're still not talking to each other (or me) they can go hide in their rooms and sulk.
The Chuckleheads and I will have a perfectly fun time all by ourselves, running around the yard looking for baskets and eggs and marshmallow peeps and stuff. I'm sure Russell will enjoy it too, ha ha. Maybe I'll even make him his own little basket. Wonder what imaginary ferrets like by way of treats?
I like that idea--Easter on the Beach. As soon as I finish my coffee I'm heading for the Easter section.
Then I'll get my new socks. And maybe a couple pairs of workout shorts.
And some of that great granola cereal Cate got that one time -- with the chocolate and dried cherries in it. Damn, that stuff was good. Yeah, I'll get a couple boxes of that.
And maybe I can find a frame for that photo of Cate we found last night. Maybe a couple frames. I could get copies made of some of her favorite old photos -- in the Target Photo Lab! Aha! And then I could frame 'em up and we can put them around the house, and in her new office when I get it done. Yeah, that would be cool! Damn, I'm smart. Heh heh.
I love this place.
7:45 pm
Den
My Wife thinks I'm crazy. I think I'm organized. And Festive.
Got all the Easter basket goodies all laid out, assembly-line style. Candy, stuffed animals, Hot Wheels, action figures, coloring books and crayons, gift cards... and that fake grass crap. Probably need to get a few more things though.
I also bought egg-dye kits. I didn't know what kind works best so I bought one of each. We have like 12 different options now. I'll have Margaret get 10 or 12 dozen eggs and we'll spend a morning egg-dyeing out at the Hamptons House. It will be cool. Then I guess we'll have egg salad, ha ha.
I even found little toy ferrets for Russell's basket. They have these little animal bobble-head things called Littlest Pet Shop Pets. They have every animal you can think of --ostriches, whales, lizards, rabbits, dogs, cats, rats.... and weasels. I found two cute little ferrets; one purple and one pink. A boy and a girl. How cute. Romey's gonna love 'em. Russell too, ha ha.
They also had a dollar-store aisle thing at the front, with a bunch of little Easter goodies. I bought bunny ears for all the kids -- all different colors. They're headbands with the ears attached and I thought they were funny, so what the Hell. In fact, when I got all this stuff laid out earlier I put on the pink ones and went downstairs to find Cate. I even hopped into the Kitchen and wiggled my nose at her.
When she stopped laughing Cate kissed me and tugged on my ears and said I looked like a Deranged Easter Bunny. Then she checked out my ass and said I need a fluffy cotton tail. I told her I have some fuzzy eggs in my pants, heh heh. Now that my stubble's longer my nuts are nice and fluffy, like little baby chicks. I offered to let her pet 'em but she just laughed and smacked me on the ass and told me to hang in there, not much longer then I can stop feeling myself up and let her do it.
Tease.
Then she shooed me out of the kitchen and told me to hop my ass back up to wherever I came from while she finished dinner. And no, she's not helping me put together baskets tonight.
Fine. We'll do it this weekend. I'm gonna buy some more stuff for them anyway. $300 at Target doesn't go far these days.
10:30 pm
Upstairs Library
So Cate was downstairs watching the Phillies and doing something on her laptop. I was bored so I wandered upstairs. Came here and flopped down on the couch and looked around, thinking about what kinds of things I could have the decorator do to remake this room for Cate. I'm meeting with him next week, so probably should have something in mind.
I turned on the TV and started flipping through channels, came across an old Bruce concert. He was playing the harp on Promised Land. I used to play, Southside taught me. I was never very good at it. Apparently the fans liked it though. But I just kinda drifted away from it, lost interest.
So I watched a little more of the show and thought "Gee, wonder if I can still blow that thing?" I went down to my office on the main floor where all my music shit is and dug around in the closet until I found a harmonica. Also discovered I have about a thousand guitar strings in there, ha ha. And a couple drum heads.
Anyway, came back up here, lowered the TV, and just started messing around. Just blowing a little, then trying to remember how to play some of those great old Jukes tunes. And my own stuff. I just about had Born to Be My Baby figured out when I noticed Cate standing in the doorway.
Jesus Christ, the look she gave me... she had this hungry, sexy grin. She looked like she was gonna pounce on me and maul me. Not that I'd mind that. Not one bit.
I said "hey" and asked her if she was okay. She just said "don't stop" and came in and sat down on the other end of the couch and stared at me. It was a little creepy, actually.
But I played a little more, kinda watched Cate while I did it. She was practically drooling. Her eyes were all swirly and dark like they get when she's aroused, and she kept licking her lips. So I showed off a little, even though I still kinda suck at this, ha ha.
Then when I was done I just gave her a little grin and said "how's about that, Baby?"
She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Baby, you can play ME like that. Any time you want."
Jesus Christ. Superman was ready for takeoff in about a half a second.
Then my Cocktease Wife got up off the couch, kissed me, and left.
Goddammit. This fucking Doc appointment tomorrow better be my green light. I don't know who's hornier, me or Cate.
Okay, it's me.
Harmonica. Who knew?
Maybe I'll keep practicing. And I'll keep it in my nightstand, heh heh.
Wednesday, April 13
9:40 am
Waiting Room
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Sitting in the waiting room at Cate's physical therapist's office. Decided to come into the City with her today; gotta drop some stuff by my lawyer's office. After Cate finishes up here we'll do that then grab lunch and head back out to Jersey. She's in doing her thing, I'm out here watching The Today Show and trying to go through some paperwork.
Just saw a story that makes me shake my head. Apparently some crazy-ass people have their panties all in a bunch over some J. Crew ad that depicts a mother laughing with her little son, a kid maybe 5 years old. It's a cute pic. So what's all the uproar? The kid's toenails are painted neon pink. The ad suggests Mommy painted her son's toenails pink.
So of course one of those right-wing religious "Center to Protect the Family" groups or whatever they call themselves is all up in arms over this "horrific" image. Of a little boy with painted toenails. What the Fuck? Seriously? All the shit going on in the world, all the challenges, all the problems people could be turning their attention to.... and THIS is the crisis of the day?
Further evidence that our society is completely fucked up. We should be figuring out how to feed and clothe and house our less fortunate. How to care and help the disabled and mentally ill. How to take care of our wounded and disabled Veterans.
NOT worrying about some Mom who paints her son's toenails. And it's an ADVERTISEMENT, for fuck's sake. It's a page from a fucking catalog, selling a sweater or a shirt or something.
Not that it's anybody's damned business if that lady DOES paint her son's toenails. And of course nobody would give two shits if the ad was of some Dad putting eye-black on his daughter's face when she's dressed up in a football jersey.
The prejudice and homophobia that still runs rampant in this nation just makes me sick sometimes.
And the press doesn't help by covering this stuff ad nauseum. If nobody paid attention to these nutjobs and their sham organizations they wouldn't have a platform from which to preach their narrow-mindedness.
I need to stop watching the damned news. Or at least stop listening to these stories. Just get the 5-minute encapsulation of what the headlines are.
Or just stare at Natalie Morales or Savannah Guthrie. I can make up my own bylines in my head while I watch those girls, heh heh.
10:30 pm
Library
Having the most wonderful night with my Wife. She just ducked out to the kitchen to fix us a little snack and open another bottle of wine.
For the last 2 hours we've been sitting here on the floor in the middle of stacks of photo albums, listening to music and sipping wine and giggling at embarrassing old photos and sharing funny stories. I don't know why we never did this before. It's been the sweetest, funniest, most romantic night we've had in ages.
This all started a few hours ago when I was trying to find an old picture of Davey, from back in the Fast Lane Days. Lexi's doing some kind of surprise thing for him, wants a really goofy photo to embarrass him. Her exact words were "a pic of him with a huge Jew-Fro," ha ha.
Cate walked past the library door and saw me in here flipping through an album and asked what I was doing. She came in and looked over my shoulder, and next thing you know we had all these big ol' books off the shelves and on the floor.
Cate even has her scrapbooks here. When we finally moved all her stuff up from her house in Georgia she just stored away all her boxes in the extra office in the basement. All her teaching stuff, some pictures and things she had on her walls in her office back at the Center, her scrapbooks of her career and stuff. Her personal scrapbooks from college and childhood were in another box.
I never realized she didn't unpack those boxes. Guess that wasn't very attentive of me, huh? But I went down and hauled those books up from the basement, despite her scolding me because I'm not supposed to be lifting anything heavy. So we compromised and I only carried an armful at a time. There weren't that many; only a couple dozen. Not compared to my volumes and volumes and volumes compiled by my doting Mother and ex-wife.
Then again, I've had a LOT more documentation of my life than Cate did, ha ha. Hell, I could hardly take a piss back in the 80's without it making the news. It was on fucking CNN when I cut my hair, for Christ's sake. In fact, my Wife and I are pretty much opposites in that respect. She has lots of stuff from her childhood and teen/college years, but only a modest amount from her military career and early cop days. Lots of photos of nameless people and exotic places, but not much in the way of stories.
She maintained a low profile, ha ha. Like a good counterintelligence agent should. But someday I'd really like Cate to put some words with those photos, to document her history. Our kids should know how amazing their Mom is, all the cool and important things she's accomplished.
As opposed to their Daddy, who wore lots of embarrassing outfits and shook his ass a lot and had hair like Cousin Itt, ha ha.
I'm learning a lot about my Cate tonight. I would have liked her if we had met back in high school. I think she was a lot like Dorothea -- just really cool and laid back and not into all the cliques and popularity shit. She did her own thing, was confident and ambitious and anxious to get out of SmallTown USA and on with her life. And she's come a long way, Baby, ha ha.
I wish I'd had the chance to meet her family. She has some aunts and uncles and cousins left, but she's not close to any of them. No siblings; her parents are both gone. It's just her. That's why she and Danny are so close; he's like the brother she never had.
And now she has me. I'm her family. And soon she'll be a Mama herself.
I asked Cate what her parents would think if they could see her now. She just giggled a little and said I would have had to work my ass off to win over her mother, but she has no doubt I would have done it eventually. Apparently Mrs. Sullivan was NOT a fan of "long-haired rock and roll music," ha ha. Except for Elvis. She loved Elvis.
Hey, I can be Elvis.
Cate was a beautiful baby and an adorable little girl. Though she was definitely a tomboy all the way. Like that's a surprise, ha ha. There's a photo of her when she was about 18 months old, with a big happy smile and those bright eyes and thick, dark hair. It just filled my heart with happiness when I saw it.
I know our little girl's gonna look just like that.
When Cate comes back it's my turn to tell some more stories... we're up to the Vancouver Days, ha ha. Holy Shit, things could get interesting. Especially with more wine.
But I know I can tell Cate anything and everything about the craziness that went on there. She'll just grin and laugh along and probably call me an asshole for the way I treated some of those girls. But she gets it. And I love that I can share all those tales of the Glory Days with her.
Though there are a few things I won't tell her. Promises made long ago. Secrets to the grave. That's what brothers do.
And I know she'll understand that too.
Ya know, looking at all Cate's scrapbooks and boxes of snapshots gives me an idea....
She doesn't really have her own place here, in this house. What she said about seeing Dorothea everywhere in this house made me feel a little guilty; I've been thinking about it all day.
Cate needs her own space, her "woman-cave," ha ha. Someplace to put up all her mementos from her career and her adventures, a place to display her I Love Me wall. A place to put all her scrapbooks and photos and tchotchkes. Hell, a place to put all her old Bon Jovi crap she's collected since high school, ha ha.
I wonder if I can surprise her somehow; maybe get a decorator to come out here and redo the upstairs office for her? It's a huge room; lots of space to work with. Now it's all dark and mannish. With a new coat of paint and drapes and furniture and whatever I could turn it into a place that's really hers. A place for her to work or relax or whatever....
And it's close to the master suite... and across the hall would be a great place for the nursery.
And if she has everything she needs in an office maybe she'll want to make working from home a permanent thing. Maybe as a consultant or part-time teacher or something. Maybe she could teach at the Community College--they have a Criminal Justice program. She's got the qualifications for sure.
Just maybe she'll finally quit her job, leave the dangerous shit to somebody else. Retire the agent badge and do something still related to what she loves, but way safer.
Tomorrow I'm gonna make some calls, find that decorator we used for the Hamptons house.
I like this idea.
And I hear my Darling Wife coming with refreshments. She's singing -- Lay Your Hands On Me, ha ha. Yeah, Baby, if only I could... hopefully just a few more days.
But tonight I'm more than happy to pick up where we left off, looking at old photos and clippings and telling stories. And holding her and kissing her and laughing with her and counting my blessings.
Waiting Room
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Sitting in the waiting room at Cate's physical therapist's office. Decided to come into the City with her today; gotta drop some stuff by my lawyer's office. After Cate finishes up here we'll do that then grab lunch and head back out to Jersey. She's in doing her thing, I'm out here watching The Today Show and trying to go through some paperwork.
Just saw a story that makes me shake my head. Apparently some crazy-ass people have their panties all in a bunch over some J. Crew ad that depicts a mother laughing with her little son, a kid maybe 5 years old. It's a cute pic. So what's all the uproar? The kid's toenails are painted neon pink. The ad suggests Mommy painted her son's toenails pink.
So of course one of those right-wing religious "Center to Protect the Family" groups or whatever they call themselves is all up in arms over this "horrific" image. Of a little boy with painted toenails. What the Fuck? Seriously? All the shit going on in the world, all the challenges, all the problems people could be turning their attention to.... and THIS is the crisis of the day?
Further evidence that our society is completely fucked up. We should be figuring out how to feed and clothe and house our less fortunate. How to care and help the disabled and mentally ill. How to take care of our wounded and disabled Veterans.
NOT worrying about some Mom who paints her son's toenails. And it's an ADVERTISEMENT, for fuck's sake. It's a page from a fucking catalog, selling a sweater or a shirt or something.
Not that it's anybody's damned business if that lady DOES paint her son's toenails. And of course nobody would give two shits if the ad was of some Dad putting eye-black on his daughter's face when she's dressed up in a football jersey.
The prejudice and homophobia that still runs rampant in this nation just makes me sick sometimes.
And the press doesn't help by covering this stuff ad nauseum. If nobody paid attention to these nutjobs and their sham organizations they wouldn't have a platform from which to preach their narrow-mindedness.
I need to stop watching the damned news. Or at least stop listening to these stories. Just get the 5-minute encapsulation of what the headlines are.
Or just stare at Natalie Morales or Savannah Guthrie. I can make up my own bylines in my head while I watch those girls, heh heh.
10:30 pm
Library
Having the most wonderful night with my Wife. She just ducked out to the kitchen to fix us a little snack and open another bottle of wine.
For the last 2 hours we've been sitting here on the floor in the middle of stacks of photo albums, listening to music and sipping wine and giggling at embarrassing old photos and sharing funny stories. I don't know why we never did this before. It's been the sweetest, funniest, most romantic night we've had in ages.
This all started a few hours ago when I was trying to find an old picture of Davey, from back in the Fast Lane Days. Lexi's doing some kind of surprise thing for him, wants a really goofy photo to embarrass him. Her exact words were "a pic of him with a huge Jew-Fro," ha ha.
Cate walked past the library door and saw me in here flipping through an album and asked what I was doing. She came in and looked over my shoulder, and next thing you know we had all these big ol' books off the shelves and on the floor.
Cate even has her scrapbooks here. When we finally moved all her stuff up from her house in Georgia she just stored away all her boxes in the extra office in the basement. All her teaching stuff, some pictures and things she had on her walls in her office back at the Center, her scrapbooks of her career and stuff. Her personal scrapbooks from college and childhood were in another box.
I never realized she didn't unpack those boxes. Guess that wasn't very attentive of me, huh? But I went down and hauled those books up from the basement, despite her scolding me because I'm not supposed to be lifting anything heavy. So we compromised and I only carried an armful at a time. There weren't that many; only a couple dozen. Not compared to my volumes and volumes and volumes compiled by my doting Mother and ex-wife.
Then again, I've had a LOT more documentation of my life than Cate did, ha ha. Hell, I could hardly take a piss back in the 80's without it making the news. It was on fucking CNN when I cut my hair, for Christ's sake. In fact, my Wife and I are pretty much opposites in that respect. She has lots of stuff from her childhood and teen/college years, but only a modest amount from her military career and early cop days. Lots of photos of nameless people and exotic places, but not much in the way of stories.
She maintained a low profile, ha ha. Like a good counterintelligence agent should. But someday I'd really like Cate to put some words with those photos, to document her history. Our kids should know how amazing their Mom is, all the cool and important things she's accomplished.
As opposed to their Daddy, who wore lots of embarrassing outfits and shook his ass a lot and had hair like Cousin Itt, ha ha.
I'm learning a lot about my Cate tonight. I would have liked her if we had met back in high school. I think she was a lot like Dorothea -- just really cool and laid back and not into all the cliques and popularity shit. She did her own thing, was confident and ambitious and anxious to get out of SmallTown USA and on with her life. And she's come a long way, Baby, ha ha.
I wish I'd had the chance to meet her family. She has some aunts and uncles and cousins left, but she's not close to any of them. No siblings; her parents are both gone. It's just her. That's why she and Danny are so close; he's like the brother she never had.
And now she has me. I'm her family. And soon she'll be a Mama herself.
I asked Cate what her parents would think if they could see her now. She just giggled a little and said I would have had to work my ass off to win over her mother, but she has no doubt I would have done it eventually. Apparently Mrs. Sullivan was NOT a fan of "long-haired rock and roll music," ha ha. Except for Elvis. She loved Elvis.
Hey, I can be Elvis.
Cate was a beautiful baby and an adorable little girl. Though she was definitely a tomboy all the way. Like that's a surprise, ha ha. There's a photo of her when she was about 18 months old, with a big happy smile and those bright eyes and thick, dark hair. It just filled my heart with happiness when I saw it.
I know our little girl's gonna look just like that.
When Cate comes back it's my turn to tell some more stories... we're up to the Vancouver Days, ha ha. Holy Shit, things could get interesting. Especially with more wine.
But I know I can tell Cate anything and everything about the craziness that went on there. She'll just grin and laugh along and probably call me an asshole for the way I treated some of those girls. But she gets it. And I love that I can share all those tales of the Glory Days with her.
Though there are a few things I won't tell her. Promises made long ago. Secrets to the grave. That's what brothers do.
And I know she'll understand that too.
Ya know, looking at all Cate's scrapbooks and boxes of snapshots gives me an idea....
She doesn't really have her own place here, in this house. What she said about seeing Dorothea everywhere in this house made me feel a little guilty; I've been thinking about it all day.
Cate needs her own space, her "woman-cave," ha ha. Someplace to put up all her mementos from her career and her adventures, a place to display her I Love Me wall. A place to put all her scrapbooks and photos and tchotchkes. Hell, a place to put all her old Bon Jovi crap she's collected since high school, ha ha.
I wonder if I can surprise her somehow; maybe get a decorator to come out here and redo the upstairs office for her? It's a huge room; lots of space to work with. Now it's all dark and mannish. With a new coat of paint and drapes and furniture and whatever I could turn it into a place that's really hers. A place for her to work or relax or whatever....
And it's close to the master suite... and across the hall would be a great place for the nursery.
And if she has everything she needs in an office maybe she'll want to make working from home a permanent thing. Maybe as a consultant or part-time teacher or something. Maybe she could teach at the Community College--they have a Criminal Justice program. She's got the qualifications for sure.
Just maybe she'll finally quit her job, leave the dangerous shit to somebody else. Retire the agent badge and do something still related to what she loves, but way safer.
Tomorrow I'm gonna make some calls, find that decorator we used for the Hamptons house.
I like this idea.
And I hear my Darling Wife coming with refreshments. She's singing -- Lay Your Hands On Me, ha ha. Yeah, Baby, if only I could... hopefully just a few more days.
But tonight I'm more than happy to pick up where we left off, looking at old photos and clippings and telling stories. And holding her and kissing her and laughing with her and counting my blessings.
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