Sunday, April 3

1:45 pm
Patio

Feels good to be outside.  Already going stir crazy cooped up in the house.  And I still gotta take it easy for a couple more days.

Not that I really want to go anywhere.  Just getting out here was enough of a challenge.  I'm so fucking sore -- I feel like somebody used my groin and hips and lower back for a punching bag.  Or a trampoline.  I don't really have any pain per se... Just serious resistance from the middle of my body every time I move.

So I'm just laying here on the chaise, sunning myself like a lizard on a rock.  Don't have to move to do that.

At least not until I want a refill of my drink or a snack.  Cate's sympathy window is now closed, ha ha.  Apparently I get 48 hours of pampering, then I have to suck it up.  This morning I asked her to bring me a cup of tea and she told me to get my ass out of bed and get it myself.  'Cause apparently I "need to get moving" and she "isn't my damned maid."

So much for milking this for a few more days.  And dammit, Doc only gave me enough Vicodin for the weekend.    Time to break out the Tylenol.

I didn't give her too much shit because, after all, I'm the one who volunteered to do this.  She didn't hold her gun to my nuts.  Hell, she didn't even suggest it.  It was all me.  And I don't regret it.  The first time I hold our baby it will be worth it a million times over.

And she's the one in for the hard part.  I'll be fine in a few weeks.  She's gonna have months of physical torture, ha ha.

So the surgery went well, nothing unexpected, no complications.  Doc called me yesterday to check up on me and to give me the formal after-report.  He didn't say much when he came in to the recovery room after the procedure; yesterday he told me it was because I wouldn't remember much if he talked to me when I was coming out from under anesthesia.  He's probably right.

Cate and I elected to do the sperm harvest-and-bank thing, so Doc said that was all taken care of.  He also said when they did the little test thing right at the beginning of my surgery my swimmers looked good -- well formed, active, wiggling their little tails like crazy.  Cate laughed at that -- she said even my sperm are good at shaking their asses.  So the procedure was about as routine as it gets.

I told Doc everything seemed to be fine -- got my peas and my Vicodin, no significant pain or weird side effects.  He reminded me to take it easy, stay as sedentary as possible for the next couple days, keep my incisions dry and clean, and no exercise, lifting, or strenuous activity for at least the next two weeks.  Or sex.  That's gonna blow.

Actually, I think he said "avoid ejaculation."  Does that mean I can get Cate to dance around naked in front of me, maybe do a little Striptease, maybe a lap dance?  Yeah, that might not be a good idea.  Superman tends to have a mind of his own.  Don't want him to blow a gasket and have to go through this all again.

 Doc's gonna see me a week from Friday for a follow-up.  Then I get to go back every month and, as my son so delicately put it, "jack off into a cup."  Wonder how long that will go on?  Considering I'm gonna be in Europe for a couple months after Memorial Day, hopefully I won't have to do it more than once or twice.  Hmm.

Yesterday afternoon the kids came over to visit me.  Steph was very sweet and mothering, and Jess just kinda looked me up and down and smirked.  I gave him the stink-eye but it didn't stop him.  SmartAss.

Jakey and Romeo both brought me Get Well cards that they made themselves.  They were really cute.  Even Russell made me a card--it was tiny, and decorated with little scratches that looked like bird feet.  Romeo said they were pawprints.  It was so cute it made me laugh, which made my nuts hurt.  Damned ferret.

I didn't tell the Boys anything about the surgery but Dorothea explained to them I had a "little operation" and they were gonna have to take it easy on Daddy.  No running around, no roughhousing, no building forts in the living room.  And definitely no "Hop on Pop."

She didn't give them any details, but apparently Romeo asked if I was getting my tonsils out.  D said she just laughed and said "no, but it's kinda like that."  So Romeo insisted he bring me ice cream.  Triple Chocolate Fudge -- his favorite, ha ha.    Smart Kid.  So we had ice cream for dessert.

Even though Cate isn't pampering me anymore I know she loves me.  She showed her devotion in another way last night.... she watched basketball with me all evening.  Both Final Four games.  Cate hates basketball.  But she curled up with me and even paid attention.  What a woman.

I can see her in the living room, sitting on the couch, working on her laptop.  She has the Phillies game on.  And judging from her grin, they're winning.  Cate and her baseball.

Think I'll go in and watch with her.  And see if there's any ice cream left.