Saturday, December 11

2:00 am
Melbourne

Tonight was one of those shows that made me remember how much I love my job.  It was all good, from the second the house lights went down until the last step off the stage.  Magic.   I left it all out there on that stage; I'm completely physically and emotionally drained.  Even the post-show festivities didn't mellow me out this time.  But I'll be ready for tomorrow night.  Just some sleep and some recharging, and it will all be good.

Wish Cate was here to see this one.  She was in my heart all night, maybe that's why I played so much of The Circle.  She loves Thorn and Only Rule. I could see her smile when I was singing them.  And of course, Superman.  Her song.  I think when I call her later to say goodnight I'll play it for her.  Just to remind her of long, long ago and far, far away when it all started for us.

I miss her.

1:15 pm
Hotel

Getting ready to head over to venue, do some press, some glad-handing.  Another night in Melbourne.  Gonna be a good show, I can feel it.

Just got off the phone with my wife.  She sounds tired, a little down.  I asked her about going shopping with Steph tomorrow and she said it's off.  Dorothea said no.  Cate didn't say why, but I could tell from her tone she didn't really want to talk about it.  I'll get the story tomorrow.  Just hope everything really IS okay between Cate and Dorothea.  I'd like to think D wouldn't hold a grudge over what happened, but you never can tell.  The one thing I do know is I don't need to get in the middle of this, whatever it is, though my first instinct was to call D and ask her WTF was going on.

Biting my tongue.

What Cate said next surprised me even more.  She's at the Jersey house.  Said she got done with court before lunch and since her weekend plans with Steph aren't happening she decided to get out of the City for a few days.  Made the excuse that she wanted to spend some time with her dog, but there's gotta be more to it than that.

She drove out right after lunch, spent the afternoon wandering around Red Bank, picking up a few Christmas presents.  Says she's going to spend tomorrow being sure the place is all set for the family when I get back; finishing up decorations, checking on menu for dinner, etc.  If the weather's nice, she said she may go riding.  It's been awhile since she's been on a horse, she misses it.  I know she does, but she's not at the big house to play with animals or prepare for holiday cheer.

She's there to withdraw into herself, like she does sometimes.  She's there to think.

I wanted so bad to crawl through the phone and wrap my arms around her and hold her.  To listen to her and help her work through whatever's bothering her.  But I had to settle for telling her about 50 times that I love and miss her, and for playing her song for her.

She knows me so well, my Cate.  She listened and stroked my ego and told me I had cheered her up, and that I need to go get my head on for tonight's show.  She's right about that -- I do need to get my head in the game.  But not before I remind her one more time that I'm the luckiest man in the damned world to be her husband.

I promised her we're gonna go away somewhere after Christmas, just the two of us, even if it's just for a couple days.  She said she doesn't feel like laying on beach or crossing an ocean, and in all honesty the thought of another hotel room makes me sick to my stomach.  We need to go someplace where we can hide away from the world, where nobody will notice us, where we can just wrap ourselves up in each other and breathe.

I think I know the place.

Tomorrow I'm gonna make it happen.  But first there's work to be done.  Time to put on the Superman cape and go do my job.

Love you, Baby.  I'll be home soon.