Wednesday, December 8

10:20 am
Perth

Up and at 'em.  Show day.  Back to work.

Had a great day off yesterday -- fun and sun.  Apparently "The Aussie Effect" is still a factor for us, after all these years.  Something about this country turns us into complete, immature idiots.  But DAMN, we have some good times here!  Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard with the guys.  Or the last time we all got together for a real Guys' Day Out.  Hey, women get to do it all the time -- we should too, right?

Started with what was supposed to be a mid-morning surfing lesson.  Ended up being a lunchtime surfing free-for-all.  Sambora doesn't wanna drag his ass out of bed early on his day off any more now than he did when he was living in his Mama's basement.  By the time he finally made it to the rally point we were an hour behind schedule.  All was soon forgiven, though.

We snuck out the back of the hotel, piled in a rental van, and headed for Scarborough Beach.  Dean set everything up with the surf place like he did in Costa Rica, but this time there was a big bunch of us and only two instructors.  The "lesson" quickly degenerated into a three-ring-circus.  Pretty much anything involving Davey and Richie and a lesson degenerates into.... well, something.

Teek came along this time and played Mister Cool the whole time.  Matt, Mike, and Ryan were tagalongs too.  Obie was too much of a wuss to join us, made some whiny-ass excuse about having too much work to do to take a whole day off.  I think he was afraid we'd all figure out he has the world's worst toupee once he got smacked by a wave, ha ha.  Work, my ass -- bet he headed straight for the nearest Titty Club the second the van rounded the corner out of sight.

The beach was gorgeous -- white sand, crystal-clear turquoise water.  Not too crowded, even with holidays.  Best of all, it was warm.  This tired old body practically groaned with relief.  I needed to bake for awhile.  Gonna suck to go back home to East Coast winter.

We all got our boards and headed out.  I'm proud to say it only took me 14 tries to finally ride a little wave all the way in!  Meanwhile there were these 6- or 7-year-old kids catching these HUGE waves and zipping right past us.  I felt like a dork.

Davey was surprisingly good -- caught on fast.  Took a big wave all the way to the beach on his third try.  Who'da thunk the Jew from Jersey would have that hidden talent? Ha ha.  As predicted, Richie paddled around a little and got distracted by a flock of bikinis.  He lasted about 20 minutes in the water before he stuck his board in the sand and went in search of a lounge chair.  Teek didn't last much longer but at least he enjoyed laughing at the rest of us.

We surfed for a couple hours, until we were all exhausted and starving.  Battling the surf is surprisingly physical.  I grew up swimming in the ocean but never really did much more than float around in the waves.  Well, except for the times I was skinny-dipping with a girl, heh heh.  There wasn't much swimming involved then, either.  When we could hardly stand up we checked in all our gear, showered off, and headed for one of the little cafes on the shore.

After some sandwiches and beer we were ready to be really lazy, so we climbed in the van and headed to Swanbourne Beach.  Why?  Because -- it's clothing optional, of course!  I knew there was a nude beach around Perth somewhere--of course Richie found out about it long before I even brought it up.  That's why he's an excellent Wingman.

When we got there the whole lot of us staked our claim on a stretch of sand and just racked out, taking in the scenery.  Now, you'd think a nude beach would be all sorts of stimulating, but in reality it ain't.  Don't get me wrong -- there are some beautiful women down here, and we saw some truly exceptional racks, but about 70% of the nudies are normal everyday people.  With wrinkles and sags and various other imperfections.  So the excitement of the whole naked thing wears off pretty quick.

And no, we didn't go au naturale.  Last thing we need is to have our saggy old Aging Rock Star asses splashed all over the world tabloids.  Being naked on a beach ain't the most comfortable thing in the world, anyway.  Some places just aren't meant to have sand in 'em.  I was a little surprised that not a soul approached us on the beach.  We got some long looks and some outright stares, and a couple chicks parading around, clearly showing off their goods for us, but nobody bothered us.  It was great.

We just kicked back on our chairs and towels, caught some rays, shared a cooler of beer and sodas, and talked.  Just us guys.  Sports, hobbies, books, movies, women, families, of course music -- it was fantastic.  And eventually we all fell asleep.  We are middle-aged, after all.  Need our naps, ha ha.  At least we didn't all snooze at the same time, so somebody at least prodded me to turn over before I got fried to a crisp.  Lobster Jonny ain't a good look for me, especially onstage.  And without Cate here to rub aloe on my back... Well, lets just say I'd really be a bitchy Diva backstage, ha ha.

After a great day we all piled back in the van and came back to the hotel, cleaned up, met up with some more folks, and headed out for dinner and a little night life.  Went to a great restaurant, Raffles.  Had phenomenal tapas.  And wine.  The Aussies have great PG -- in fact, I found a new one.  Gonna be sure to bring back a few cases.

By the time we were done with dinner and drinks we were all pretty beat, so headed back to the hotel fairly early.  Gave the kids a quick call to wish them a good day at school, then called Cate.  She has court this week, so was just hanging out at the coffee shop beforehand, waiting for her turn.  She got a good laugh out of my accounting of our day, said she was glad we got to hang out together, just us boys.

Cate probably understands that more than most women, considering she's spent her entire professional life as the woman in a man's world.  God knows she practically gets a contact high from all the testosterone when she's doing cop stuff, ha ha.  But make no mistake, she's ALL woman, especially when she comes home to me after a macho day of kicking in doors or shooting at stuff.  Doesn't suck to be me on those days.

So once Cate had to go I just goofed around my room awhile, watched some Aussie TV, and actually went to bed early.  Woke up refreshed, relaxed, ready to kick ass on stage tonight.  Plus two weeks from today I'll be back home with my Babies, ready to celebrate Christmas.

My life ain't bad.