Tuesday, February 1

11:45 am
My Office

Christ, it's nasty out there.  We're out of coffee so I went down the street to get some and about busted my ass on the icy sidewalk.

Cate went to the office this morning; hope she's not gonna try to drive home in this crap.  I called her to see if she can come home early but she's in a meeting.  Great.  It never bodes well when she's in meetings.

I finished up some contracts this morning, planned to do a little writing this afternoon.  Going over to Dorothea's for dinner with the kids tonight.  Cate said she's not sure if she'll go -- may stay here and do some work.  She said she wants to give me some time alone with the kids.  Maybe she really wants to avoid the chaos, ha ha.  Smart woman.

Gonna fix some lunch before I put on my songwriter hat -- leftover lo mein sounds good.

Been thinking about that great conversation Cate and I had last night.  Woke up with a huge grin on my face.  Maybe I'll do a little research, see if I can figure out when I could fit in a surgical procedure.  Just so I'm ready if she decides to go for it.

1:35 pm
My Office

Oh My God.

What have I volunteered myself for?  Christ, no wonder my balls are screaming at me.  They sure as hell ain't buying that fish story anymore.

According to Mayo Clinic's site, risks of vasectomy reversal include, besides the normal risk of infection at the surgical site:  bleeding in the scrotum causing painful swelling,  sperm leaking into the scrotum causing an inflamed mass, and fluid buildup around the testicle that causes painful swelling and may need to be drained with a needle.  Not to mention the possibility of "chronic scrotal pain."

I'm having "chronic scrotal pain" right now.  OUCH.  Wait -- wouldn't that be "acute sympathetic scrotal pain?"  Whatever.  My testicles are trying to suck up further and further inside my body cavity with every word I read.  Jesus.

And apparently this isn't something I can just schedule.  I'm gonna have to go through a bunch of tests first.  Cate is too.  Shit.  How am I supposed to do that when I'm on the road?  Fly home, jack off in a cup, and fly back to whatever city we're in?

And apparently since this is a more complicated surgery than a vasectomy I'm gonna have to take it easy for at least 3 weeks, no strenuous activity.  I assume that means no running around a stage for 2 1/2 hours a night.

This is gonna be more complicated than I thought.

The surgery itself sounds pretty difficult.  There are a couple YouTube links up on the Mayo site.  Maybe they'll be easier to understand than trying to read all the medical mumbo-jumbo on the website....

1:50 pm
My Office

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

WHY would people put that on YouTube?  WHY?

It's like a damned train wreck!  I got squeamish in the first few seconds when I realized that's some poor bastard's shorn nutsac sliced open, and that pair of tweezers fishing around in there, grabbing and pulling.... AHHH!   But I couldn't stop watching.  And the needle!  FUCK!  They're literally sewing him back together!

Why why why why WHY did I watch that?

I feel sick...

Suddenly leftover lo mein for lunch doesn't seem like such a good idea....

9:55 pm
Living Room

Got home from Dorothea's a bit ago.  Had a nice evening with her and the kids.  It was Taco Night.  Always a ton of fun with the world's messiest kids, ha ha.

Cate elected to stay here -- she didn't get home until about ten minutes before I was ready to leave anyway.  She looked tired, like she had a rough day.  And she was toting that big-ass suitcase thing she carries her case files in.  I  knew the second I saw that thing that she must have picked up a new case today and was gonna spending the night reading the file.  

She kissed me hello/goodbye and told me to have a good time, she'd talk to me when I got home.  Of course I immediately asked what that meant, if everything was okay.  She assured me everything is fine and told me to get my ass moving already.

When I got home I found out I was right -- she was in the office, curled up in that big leather chair with a half-empty glass of wine on the table and a gigantic file open on her lap.  She looked hot, too -- had her reading glasses on and her hair twisted up into a messy bun.  Like a librarian, heh heh.  I offered to stock her shelves, if ya know what I'm saying, and she just smiled and told me she'd meet me out in the living room in a little while.

So I went out and got my own glass of wine and turned on the TV, then flopped down on the couch.  I was clicking through channels when Cate came out and sat down beside me, gave me a long, sexy kiss, and just smiled at me.  

I knew right then something was up.  Sure enough, the next thing she says is "Baby, I'm so sorry, but..."

Dammit.  That's never good.

Yep, she got  a new case.  Some kinda public corruption thing.  And she has to go out of town.  On Thursday she's gotta go to Atlanta to meet with the U.S. Attorney there.  She said she'll try to get back Friday night but it may be Saturday morning, depending how things go.  

I offered to go with her but she told me to stay here, she will be working the whole time and won't have time for me.  She promised to be back before dinner on Saturday so we can spend some quiet time together then.  It's our last weekend together for awhile -- I'll be on the road every damned weekend after that.

Shit.  I was hoping we'd get to enjoy these last few days together before the world goes crazy again.

Cate could see how disappointed I was, I'm not very good at hiding it.  She did her best to make me feel better, tried to change the topic.  She asked me what I did today, how my plans to write went.  Like a Dumbass I just blurted out what happened this afternoon -- how I didn't get any damned writing done because I freaked myself out watching YouTubes of surgeons sewing a guy's testicles back together.

Gotta hand it to my wife, she tried really hard not to laugh.  But she couldn't completely hide it.  She managed to choke out a couple questions about what I learned before just burying her face against my shoulder and shaking with silent laughter.  I had to give in too, I hugged her and next thing I knew we were laughing together as I told her about my dimwitted idea to do some "research."  

Cate kissed me and told me she loves me for the thought, then she got a little more serious and asked if what I learned made me change my mind about my offer.  Of course it didn't.  I'm a man, I can handle it, and I told her so.  Besides, that's nothing compared to what women go through in childbirth.  I know, I've seen it.  Four times.  I told Cate I don't deserve to have a dick if I can't handle a little operation where I'm knocked half unconscious.

I just can't be awake to watch it.

We talked and cuddled for awhile, then Cate gave me a sexy little smile.  She had that naughty little gleam in her eye, the one that immediately makes me jump to attention.  Said she was concerned for my Boys and wanted to be sure they were okay. Next thing I know she's slipped her hand inside my jeans and is fondling me, so very gently coaxing Superman's little pals out of hiding, ha ha.

So I did the only thing I could -- I laid back on the couch and I let her.  Call it therapy.  I wasn't getting anywhere talking to them anyway.  And she got in nice and close, whispered all kinds of sweet, naughty things to them, a little nuzzling, a little nibbling, a lot of stroking....  It seemed to work.  The Boys were quite responsive and are happy as clams now.  All the scary stuff is forgotten, at least for the moment.  Heh heh.

I think I may need a follow-up session or ten.  It may take a loooooong time for me to get over this.  You know, mental anguish and all.  

Heh heh.