8:15 am
Kitchen
Waiting for Cate to finish getting ready. Got an insane day today -- places to go, errands to run, shit to pick up and drop off, Chuckleheads to wrangle.
As soon as my Wife gets her shit together we're off to Steph's school for the Senior Awards ceremony and brunch. Once we're done there I have to go pick up my and Jesse's tuxedos for the Prom.
Cate thought I was crazy when I told her I was renting a tux, considering I have about 10 of 'em in my closet. But then I told her why, and she got it. She still thinks I'm nuts, but she's on board.
After I go to the tux shop I gotta pick up part of Steph's grad present from Tiffany. That will take about an hour since Cate will be with me, ha ha. She's not a jewelry girl, but she always gets sucked into looking at the cases in there. Which is fine by me; gives me ideas what to get her for special occasions. Or just because.
After Tiffany its back to the other school to collect Jakey and Romey, then we gotta entertain them for a few hours until we go back to Dorothea's. We collect everybody else up there and all go out to dinner for a family celebration of Steph's birthday.
Well, family plus Brendan. I'm not ready to consider him family yet.
After that it's home and jammies and bedtime, plus I need to talk to Jess about Prom groundrules. Apparently he's kept his mouth shut and his nose clean the last few days while I was gone; he's even been helping out around the house. Dorothea said she doesn't know what got into him, but she's glad.
I know what got into him. Bridget. Or at least he's doing his damndest to get into her. Ha ha.
Finally after all that it's home for me and Cate, probably to collapse from exhaustion. Then we get up and begin again tomorrow. Well, the Girls do, anyway.
Cate's taking Steph and her friends to the salon tomorrow; they gotta do all that hair and makeup and nails shit to get ready for the Big Prom Night. Basically all I gotta do is shower and shave, ha ha. And confirm the limo. That should be easy enough.
But first we gotta make it through today. Which we won't be able to do if my Wife doesn't HURRY THE FUCK UP!
11:40 pm
Bed
Holy Shit. I'm completely fucking wiped out.
I'm too old for this Involved Dad shit. Keeping up with Steph is impossible.
And Christ, there are three more right behind her.
What the fuck ever made Dorothea and me think FOUR kids was a good idea?
At least I'll have a decade or so to recover between Romeo's graduation madness and Little Roxy's.
Yep, Roxy.
I'll convince Cate. Just gimme time.
Monday, May 30
6:50 am
Patio
I should still be in bed. My body's still on Vegas time.
But my brain ain't. Didn't sleep well last night; tossed and turned. Think it's because I don't want to miss a moment of this week. But if I don't get some shut-eye I'm gonna be a cranky bastard and nobody will be happy, ha ha.
Can't wait to spend the morning with Steph. It's all I can do to restrain myself from going into her room and waking her up with a little morning song and a cuddle, like I used to when she was a little girl. But she's a teenager now; a young woman. I can't very well go crawl in her bed and snuggle up to her anymore.
I miss that.
So I'll just sit here with my coffee and watch the waves and relive my memories.
Patio
I should still be in bed. My body's still on Vegas time.
But my brain ain't. Didn't sleep well last night; tossed and turned. Think it's because I don't want to miss a moment of this week. But if I don't get some shut-eye I'm gonna be a cranky bastard and nobody will be happy, ha ha.
Can't wait to spend the morning with Steph. It's all I can do to restrain myself from going into her room and waking her up with a little morning song and a cuddle, like I used to when she was a little girl. But she's a teenager now; a young woman. I can't very well go crawl in her bed and snuggle up to her anymore.
I miss that.
So I'll just sit here with my coffee and watch the waves and relive my memories.
Sunday, May 29
1:30 pm
Plane
On my way home from the Big Vegas Weekend.
It was a damned fun time, not long enough. Just a whirlwind trip this time. Then again, I guess they ALL are.
It didn't quite end up like that movie The Hangover, ha ha. No tigers in the bathroom or naked Chinese dudes jumping out of car trunks (Thank God). And I remember pretty much everything I did. Mostly. Some of it's a little fuzzy.
My Wife is amazing. She really pulled off one Hell of a Bachelor Party. Low-key enough that everybody had a good time, sneaky enough that nobody even knew I was there. That was cool. Cate's devious mind for deception really served her well... the costume idea was genius. Plus it was damned funny. The rest of the Guys had a blast.
Though I'm a little offended that Cate said Danny filled out that spandex better than I did back in the day. Hey, I can't help it I was a skinny little fuck! Danny's a former Navy Fucking SEAL, or whatever the Hell the Air Force's sneaky black ops people are called. His muscles have their own muscles, for Christ's sake.
He could probably kill me with his pinky.
Besides, Cate doesn't have any complaints about how I fill out my pants these days, heh heh.
The wedding was beautiful. They had it in the chapel at the Bellagio. Danny was grinning ear-to-ear the entire time, and Charity was just stunning. It was short, simple, elegant. Just an exchange of rings and vows. Cate was a fantastic Best Man, and I did my part too. I played piano and sang for the Happy Couple. Least I could do.
I hope they'll have a long and happy marriage. It's the second for both of them, so they know how life goes. I think that will make them stronger, more understanding. More appreciative of each other.
You don't get many second chances in life. When you're lucky enough to get a second chance at love, you don't wanna fuck up. Somehow your second time around is more precious. It makes you realize just how lucky you really are.
Trust me. I'm living proof.
11:30 pm
Hamptons House
Back on the East Coast, smack in the middle of chaos. Got a houseful of kids and friends and wives and ex-wives and parents...
Is it too late to catch the red-eye back to Vegas?
Nah, feels good to be home. Big doin's tomorrow -- Stephie's party. My Baby Girl. 18 years old.
Grown up.
Well, she's not technically 18 until Tuesday... and I'm gonna hang onto these last few precious minutes with both hands and all of my heart. I blinked and suddenly my Baby's a woman.
I'm not ready for this.
Tomorrow morning we're going into the Village for breakfast, just Steph and me. Gonna have a little quiet Daddy-Daughter time, like we used to when she was little and I was home from the road. We don't do that enough anymore.
When I'm finally home from Europe this summer I'll only have a few weeks with her before we'll be packing up all her stuff in a U-Haul and moving her off to college. Then I'll be the one counting the days until she comes home so I can see her again.
The irony's not lost on me.
But this week is all about My Princess. Her party tomorrow, her birthday Tuesday, Prom Wednesday night, the Big Day on Friday. She's done with classes; she did great on her orals last week. All the tests are done and the papers graded. Now it's just the ceremonies and parties and celebrations.
I've missed so much of her life, the plays and recitals and games and ceremonies.... but this week I'm here. Whatever she wants from me, I'm hers.
This week I'm just Daddy.
Plane
On my way home from the Big Vegas Weekend.
It was a damned fun time, not long enough. Just a whirlwind trip this time. Then again, I guess they ALL are.
It didn't quite end up like that movie The Hangover, ha ha. No tigers in the bathroom or naked Chinese dudes jumping out of car trunks (Thank God). And I remember pretty much everything I did. Mostly. Some of it's a little fuzzy.
My Wife is amazing. She really pulled off one Hell of a Bachelor Party. Low-key enough that everybody had a good time, sneaky enough that nobody even knew I was there. That was cool. Cate's devious mind for deception really served her well... the costume idea was genius. Plus it was damned funny. The rest of the Guys had a blast.
Though I'm a little offended that Cate said Danny filled out that spandex better than I did back in the day. Hey, I can't help it I was a skinny little fuck! Danny's a former Navy Fucking SEAL, or whatever the Hell the Air Force's sneaky black ops people are called. His muscles have their own muscles, for Christ's sake.
He could probably kill me with his pinky.
Besides, Cate doesn't have any complaints about how I fill out my pants these days, heh heh.
The wedding was beautiful. They had it in the chapel at the Bellagio. Danny was grinning ear-to-ear the entire time, and Charity was just stunning. It was short, simple, elegant. Just an exchange of rings and vows. Cate was a fantastic Best Man, and I did my part too. I played piano and sang for the Happy Couple. Least I could do.
I hope they'll have a long and happy marriage. It's the second for both of them, so they know how life goes. I think that will make them stronger, more understanding. More appreciative of each other.
You don't get many second chances in life. When you're lucky enough to get a second chance at love, you don't wanna fuck up. Somehow your second time around is more precious. It makes you realize just how lucky you really are.
Trust me. I'm living proof.
11:30 pm
Hamptons House
Back on the East Coast, smack in the middle of chaos. Got a houseful of kids and friends and wives and ex-wives and parents...
Is it too late to catch the red-eye back to Vegas?
Nah, feels good to be home. Big doin's tomorrow -- Stephie's party. My Baby Girl. 18 years old.
Grown up.
Well, she's not technically 18 until Tuesday... and I'm gonna hang onto these last few precious minutes with both hands and all of my heart. I blinked and suddenly my Baby's a woman.
I'm not ready for this.
Tomorrow morning we're going into the Village for breakfast, just Steph and me. Gonna have a little quiet Daddy-Daughter time, like we used to when she was little and I was home from the road. We don't do that enough anymore.
When I'm finally home from Europe this summer I'll only have a few weeks with her before we'll be packing up all her stuff in a U-Haul and moving her off to college. Then I'll be the one counting the days until she comes home so I can see her again.
The irony's not lost on me.
But this week is all about My Princess. Her party tomorrow, her birthday Tuesday, Prom Wednesday night, the Big Day on Friday. She's done with classes; she did great on her orals last week. All the tests are done and the papers graded. Now it's just the ceremonies and parties and celebrations.
I've missed so much of her life, the plays and recitals and games and ceremonies.... but this week I'm here. Whatever she wants from me, I'm hers.
This week I'm just Daddy.
Saturday, May 28
5:30 pm
Our Suite
Watching my Wife get dressed for the wedding.
My beautiful, sexy, naughty, dirty Wife.
Still can hardly believe what happened last night. That was some fucking Bachelor Party.
To quote Katy Perry: My Wife kissed a girl. And she liked it. A lot. Ha Ha.
Lord knows I LOVED it.
Wonder if I rub that horseshoe in my ass hard enough it'll happen again?
Heh heh.
Our Suite
Watching my Wife get dressed for the wedding.
My beautiful, sexy, naughty, dirty Wife.
Still can hardly believe what happened last night. That was some fucking Bachelor Party.
To quote Katy Perry: My Wife kissed a girl. And she liked it. A lot. Ha Ha.
Lord knows I LOVED it.
Wonder if I rub that horseshoe in my ass hard enough it'll happen again?
Heh heh.
Friday, May 27
9:20 am
Bed
Nothing like waking up in Vegas with a Hot Naked Chick beside you in bed.
And it's good when you actually know her name and remember how she got there, ha ha.
Not so good -- being woke up by your damned phone ringing with a call from work. So much for fucking vacation.
Cate's still sleeping. Gonna sneak into the bathroom and order up room service breakfast, then start putting out this latest fucking fire. Hopefully it won't take long. I want to relax by the pool again, soak up a little solar energy.
Danny and his crew arrive this morning. I know Cate's got plans for them; I'll probably bow out to deal with this BJM stuff. And I need to call Obie, find out what's going on in the studio.
Just a little working vacation.
But first I need coffee and eggs.
Bed
Nothing like waking up in Vegas with a Hot Naked Chick beside you in bed.
And it's good when you actually know her name and remember how she got there, ha ha.
Not so good -- being woke up by your damned phone ringing with a call from work. So much for fucking vacation.
Cate's still sleeping. Gonna sneak into the bathroom and order up room service breakfast, then start putting out this latest fucking fire. Hopefully it won't take long. I want to relax by the pool again, soak up a little solar energy.
Danny and his crew arrive this morning. I know Cate's got plans for them; I'll probably bow out to deal with this BJM stuff. And I need to call Obie, find out what's going on in the studio.
Just a little working vacation.
But first I need coffee and eggs.
TONIGHT: The Story Continues
9:00 pm EST
Thursday, May 26
10:30 am
Preparing for Takeoff
In my seat, got a Hot Babe by my side... headed for Sin City. Vegas, Baby!
The minute we get checked in I'm shucking off my clothes, putting on my trunks and flip flops and shades and heading for the pool. Gonna do nothing but snooze in the sun all afternoon.
Well, maybe I'll have a couple drinks with little umbrellas in them. And do a little bikini-watching, heh heh.
My wife's bikini, of course.
Yes, Cate... I know you're peeking out of the corner of your eye, pretending to read your magazine.
But I love you anyway, you Snoop.
OW! She pinched me! Bully.
So last night after she finished laughing Cate agreed to go to Prom with me. I told her the whole story about Jesse and Kayla and my suspicions about his ulterior motives. And that after much debate, Dorothea agreed to temporarily un-ground Jess to go to the Prom, but only if I go along to keep an eye on him.
I wasn't sure Steph was gonna be too keen on that -- it is HER Senior Prom, after all -- but those were the terms of the deal, so I took 'em. And D made sure I'm not backing out; she texted the Chairwoman of the Prom Committee right then and there to volunteer my chaperone services. And got a confirmatory reply. So now there's no wussing out. I'm going to Prom, apparently even if Jess fucks up again and gets re-grounded.
When I broke the news to Jesse I gave him a good long lecture about how lucky he is that his Mother agreed and how I expect him to be on the straight and narrow for the rest of the school year. And to get good grades on his finals. And to cut the crap with his attitude toward Momma. In fact, I told him he better kiss D's ass for letting him out of the doghouse for one night.
And that he'd damned sure better not stir up trouble with his sister.
Then I gave him a hug and told him good luck, ha ha. He's gonna work out the plans with his date and will let me know when we get home Sunday. I guess Cate and I will work out our plans this weekend. Got a couple long flights ahead, I'm sure we can come up with something.
I didn't go to my Prom, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Cate did the Prom thing when she was in High School but it was a whole different experience than what my Kids' school puts on. Cate said hers was more like the Enchantment Under the Sea dance from Back to the Future, only with bad 1980's music and fashion, ha ha.
This could be fun.
Got a lot to do in a short time when we get home from Vegas, for damned sure. Dorothea's taking the kids out to the Hamptons house for the weekend and she's having a birthday party for Steph on Monday. Then it's Prom and Graduation. Plus a couple other things I've committed to.
But it's gonna be a special week. My Baby Girl's all grown up. A lot of big moments in her life these next few days.
I'm not gonna cry. I swear. Not in public, anyway.
Cate just snorted when she read that (even though she's NOT reading over my shoulder, ha ha). Yeah, she's probably right -- I'm gonna be a big ol' Wuss, especially when I see her walk down the aisle in that cap and gown.
Alright Dammit, I gotta stop now. I don't need to be a weepy-ass girly-man. I'm on my way to three days of fun and sun and vacation and debauchery. Gotta get my mind straight. Need a little Elvis, a little Rat Pack. Which my Darling Wife so thoughtfully loaded up on my iPod last night.
Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
I gotta whole lotta money that's ready to burn
So get those stakes up higher....
Heh heh. Gonna be a fun weekend.
2:00 pm Vegas Time
Pool
OH MY GOD.
My Wife is EVIL. E-V-I-L.
She sent me down here to the pool by myself, told me to get her a daiquiri and a chaise, she'd be along in a few minutes.
I'm an obedient husband. I did what I was told. I got her a chair, I ordered her a drink, I laid out her towel and set out the sunscreen, got myself all ready to rub it on her back.
I was laying here sipping at my pina colada when she comes strolling over, all sexy in that turquoise bikini of hers. That is, sexy except for the GIANT pair of feathery, blingy sunglasses. She looked like she just hijacked a showgirl in the lobby and glued half a headdress to her shades.
And Cate just stood there, grinning as she watched my stupid-looking face while the lightbulb clicked on in my brain.
It was HER! The fucking Groucho glasses! And the Elvis and Elton ones too! SHE was the one who put the band and the crew up to no good, trying to drive me bat-shit crazy out on the road! My own WIFE!
And all along I was confiding in her, telling her how nuts those little stunts were making me, asking her advice on what to do... And all along she was just laughing her ass off at the Poor Befuddled Singer.
Her first recruit wasn't the usual suspect, either. She said she didn't even let Davey in on her involvement until a couple shows in. No, I was betrayed by the strong, silent one.
Fucking Tico.
I'm gonna get his ass for this.
And apparently X was in on it too -- he's the one who kept turning the screws a little tighter, with the bowties, the hats, the Elvis shades and the Elton getups... He was my Wife's number one Minion. He's the one who relayed Cate's marching orders to Abby so she could go get the stuff before each planned Fuck-With-The-Boss episode.
Fucking Evil Geniuses, all of them.
Cate says she thought I needed a little something to distract me from missing Richie. And to keep the crew laughing, keep morale up. She knew that last leg was gonna be hard on everybody 'cause we were tired and road-weary and a man down. And she knew that the best way to unite the team was to gang up on the Boss, ha ha.
Apparently they really like fucking with me.
As flabbergasted as I am, I'm touched by the sentiment behind Cate's little prank. She takes care of me in so many ways, ways I don't even realize. Or particularly appreciate, ha ha.
Besides, my Wife looks too fucking sexy for me to be mad at her. And when she sat down beside me here on the chaise and rubbed her teeny little bikini-top against my chest and kissed me stupid... Well, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
Even if she is still wearing the damned glasses just to mock me.
Preparing for Takeoff
In my seat, got a Hot Babe by my side... headed for Sin City. Vegas, Baby!
The minute we get checked in I'm shucking off my clothes, putting on my trunks and flip flops and shades and heading for the pool. Gonna do nothing but snooze in the sun all afternoon.
Well, maybe I'll have a couple drinks with little umbrellas in them. And do a little bikini-watching, heh heh.
My wife's bikini, of course.
Yes, Cate... I know you're peeking out of the corner of your eye, pretending to read your magazine.
But I love you anyway, you Snoop.
OW! She pinched me! Bully.
So last night after she finished laughing Cate agreed to go to Prom with me. I told her the whole story about Jesse and Kayla and my suspicions about his ulterior motives. And that after much debate, Dorothea agreed to temporarily un-ground Jess to go to the Prom, but only if I go along to keep an eye on him.
I wasn't sure Steph was gonna be too keen on that -- it is HER Senior Prom, after all -- but those were the terms of the deal, so I took 'em. And D made sure I'm not backing out; she texted the Chairwoman of the Prom Committee right then and there to volunteer my chaperone services. And got a confirmatory reply. So now there's no wussing out. I'm going to Prom, apparently even if Jess fucks up again and gets re-grounded.
When I broke the news to Jesse I gave him a good long lecture about how lucky he is that his Mother agreed and how I expect him to be on the straight and narrow for the rest of the school year. And to get good grades on his finals. And to cut the crap with his attitude toward Momma. In fact, I told him he better kiss D's ass for letting him out of the doghouse for one night.
And that he'd damned sure better not stir up trouble with his sister.
Then I gave him a hug and told him good luck, ha ha. He's gonna work out the plans with his date and will let me know when we get home Sunday. I guess Cate and I will work out our plans this weekend. Got a couple long flights ahead, I'm sure we can come up with something.
I didn't go to my Prom, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Cate did the Prom thing when she was in High School but it was a whole different experience than what my Kids' school puts on. Cate said hers was more like the Enchantment Under the Sea dance from Back to the Future, only with bad 1980's music and fashion, ha ha.
This could be fun.
Got a lot to do in a short time when we get home from Vegas, for damned sure. Dorothea's taking the kids out to the Hamptons house for the weekend and she's having a birthday party for Steph on Monday. Then it's Prom and Graduation. Plus a couple other things I've committed to.
But it's gonna be a special week. My Baby Girl's all grown up. A lot of big moments in her life these next few days.
I'm not gonna cry. I swear. Not in public, anyway.
Cate just snorted when she read that (even though she's NOT reading over my shoulder, ha ha). Yeah, she's probably right -- I'm gonna be a big ol' Wuss, especially when I see her walk down the aisle in that cap and gown.
Alright Dammit, I gotta stop now. I don't need to be a weepy-ass girly-man. I'm on my way to three days of fun and sun and vacation and debauchery. Gotta get my mind straight. Need a little Elvis, a little Rat Pack. Which my Darling Wife so thoughtfully loaded up on my iPod last night.
Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
I gotta whole lotta money that's ready to burn
So get those stakes up higher....
Heh heh. Gonna be a fun weekend.
2:00 pm Vegas Time
Pool
OH MY GOD.
My Wife is EVIL. E-V-I-L.
She sent me down here to the pool by myself, told me to get her a daiquiri and a chaise, she'd be along in a few minutes.
I'm an obedient husband. I did what I was told. I got her a chair, I ordered her a drink, I laid out her towel and set out the sunscreen, got myself all ready to rub it on her back.
I was laying here sipping at my pina colada when she comes strolling over, all sexy in that turquoise bikini of hers. That is, sexy except for the GIANT pair of feathery, blingy sunglasses. She looked like she just hijacked a showgirl in the lobby and glued half a headdress to her shades.
And Cate just stood there, grinning as she watched my stupid-looking face while the lightbulb clicked on in my brain.
It was HER! The fucking Groucho glasses! And the Elvis and Elton ones too! SHE was the one who put the band and the crew up to no good, trying to drive me bat-shit crazy out on the road! My own WIFE!
And all along I was confiding in her, telling her how nuts those little stunts were making me, asking her advice on what to do... And all along she was just laughing her ass off at the Poor Befuddled Singer.
Her first recruit wasn't the usual suspect, either. She said she didn't even let Davey in on her involvement until a couple shows in. No, I was betrayed by the strong, silent one.
Fucking Tico.
I'm gonna get his ass for this.
And apparently X was in on it too -- he's the one who kept turning the screws a little tighter, with the bowties, the hats, the Elvis shades and the Elton getups... He was my Wife's number one Minion. He's the one who relayed Cate's marching orders to Abby so she could go get the stuff before each planned Fuck-With-The-Boss episode.
Fucking Evil Geniuses, all of them.
Cate says she thought I needed a little something to distract me from missing Richie. And to keep the crew laughing, keep morale up. She knew that last leg was gonna be hard on everybody 'cause we were tired and road-weary and a man down. And she knew that the best way to unite the team was to gang up on the Boss, ha ha.
Apparently they really like fucking with me.
As flabbergasted as I am, I'm touched by the sentiment behind Cate's little prank. She takes care of me in so many ways, ways I don't even realize. Or particularly appreciate, ha ha.
Besides, my Wife looks too fucking sexy for me to be mad at her. And when she sat down beside me here on the chaise and rubbed her teeny little bikini-top against my chest and kissed me stupid... Well, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
Even if she is still wearing the damned glasses just to mock me.
Wednesday, May 25
4:50 pm
Hope Community Center
Waiting for Jess to finish up his volunteer work. He's got another hour; thought I'd come hang out and help out a little bit.
He's done good here the last couple days. Yolanda has been really impressed with Jess; she's told me over and over how respectful, hardworking, and generous he is. He better be. His Mama and I raised him right.
And Jess better appreciate me going to bat for him, too. I talked to Dorothea earlier today about letting Jesse go to Prom. It went about how I expected; she was suspicious and called me a pushover. I didn't tell her the whole story about Bridget and this Kayla Girl, I want to keep that between Jesse and me. So I just shut up and took my lumps and stood my ground.
She's thinking about it. We're gonna talk more about it later tonight, when I drop Jess off. I really hope this doesn't become a drawn-out battle. I gotta get home and pack. Cate and I have a flight to Vegas in the morning. Not first-thing, but early enough. I was hoping we could get our stuff together tonight and maybe have a little wine and whoopee out on the patio, then sleep in a bit tomorrow morning. God knows we won't be sleeping much once we hit Sin City.
I've missed Cate these last couple nights. Don't like sleeping in our bed all alone. It's one thing to be by myself in some cookie-cutter hotel suite, but in my own bed... I need my Wife there.
Gonna sleep like a baby tonight.
Especially if I have to go home and lick my wounds after showing-down with Dorothea, ha ha.
9:45 pm
Kitchen
Well, Jesse's going to Prom.
And so am I.
It's the only way Dorothea would agree -- if I said I would chaperone.
Wonder if I can get a date at this short notice, ha ha. Maybe if I shag her first she'll say yes.....
Hope Community Center
Waiting for Jess to finish up his volunteer work. He's got another hour; thought I'd come hang out and help out a little bit.
He's done good here the last couple days. Yolanda has been really impressed with Jess; she's told me over and over how respectful, hardworking, and generous he is. He better be. His Mama and I raised him right.
And Jess better appreciate me going to bat for him, too. I talked to Dorothea earlier today about letting Jesse go to Prom. It went about how I expected; she was suspicious and called me a pushover. I didn't tell her the whole story about Bridget and this Kayla Girl, I want to keep that between Jesse and me. So I just shut up and took my lumps and stood my ground.
She's thinking about it. We're gonna talk more about it later tonight, when I drop Jess off. I really hope this doesn't become a drawn-out battle. I gotta get home and pack. Cate and I have a flight to Vegas in the morning. Not first-thing, but early enough. I was hoping we could get our stuff together tonight and maybe have a little wine and whoopee out on the patio, then sleep in a bit tomorrow morning. God knows we won't be sleeping much once we hit Sin City.
I've missed Cate these last couple nights. Don't like sleeping in our bed all alone. It's one thing to be by myself in some cookie-cutter hotel suite, but in my own bed... I need my Wife there.
Gonna sleep like a baby tonight.
Especially if I have to go home and lick my wounds after showing-down with Dorothea, ha ha.
9:45 pm
Kitchen
Well, Jesse's going to Prom.
And so am I.
It's the only way Dorothea would agree -- if I said I would chaperone.
Wonder if I can get a date at this short notice, ha ha. Maybe if I shag her first she'll say yes.....
Tuesday, May 24
10:45 pm
Living Room
Hmm. Think I'm about to get myself in trouble with my ex-wife.
We don't often disagree on parenting issues. In fact, I think the last time we didn't see eye-to-eye was when we just had 2 kids and then she told me I was an idiot and we were doing things HER way because she had to deal with the fallout. I didn't listen, went against her judgment and I paid for it later.
Since then I just pretty much let her make the decisions and I back her up.
But this time I just don't think I can do it. There's a teenaged heart on the line. And I'm a hopeless fucking romantic.
Jess and I had a great long talk last night. Went out for pizza, played pinball, just hung out. And he really opened up to me, told me everything going on in his "fucked up life" as he calls it.
Of course his life ain't even close to fucked up, but he's the one living the teenaged angst, not me. So I just shut up and listened until he asked me what I thought.
So after the DC Beer Bust Dorothea promptly grounded Jesse. Big time. No afterschool activities, no phone, no TV, no computer except for homework, monitored by her, and no going out with friends. Jess of course thought that was totally unfair since he was honest and up-front about his fuck-up, and he accepted responsibility. Hence his attitude toward Momma last week.
Well obviously Dorothea couldn't ground Jesse from school, especially since she saw his expulsion coming. And it was in the Hallowed High School Halls where the most recent drama began to unfold.
Seems Jesse got invited to the Prom. He told the Girl he wants to go but he's grounded because of the beer thing and he doesn't think his Momma will back down. Girl said she'll wait until the last minute, for him; if he can't go she'll go solo. And no, Girl isn't Bridget.
Girl -- I think her name is Kaylie? Keely? Kelly? Katie? K-something. And no, not Katie. I'd remember that one, ha ha. Something with a Y in there somewhere. Anyway -- Girl is a friend of Steph's but not one of her Posse. Jesse says she's smart and pretty, but he's not at all attracted to her. In fact, he thinks she's kinda fake. But he wants to go to Prom with her anyway.
When I asked him why he wants to go to Prom with some girl he's not really into he gave me a line about it being some kind of a big honor for a Sophomore to be asked to Senior Prom, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, blah blah blah.
But I saw right through that bullshit. He wants to go because Bridget will be there. With somebody else.
I listened and pondered and asked Jess a few leading questions, then finally got the truth out of him. Turns out Bridget's still going to Prom with her ex-boyfriend, the one she broke up with after the fiasco out here a few weeks ago. They're still double-dating with Steph and Brendan. Jess said Bridget and her ex are just friends now; they're no longer a couple. But I could hear the doubt in his voice when he said it.
I asked him how he knew Bridget and her ex were nothing more friends and he said she told him so, on the field trip. I didn't let on that Cate filled me in on their hand-holding at the Kennedy Center, and he didn't tell me. He just said they had a great time and Bridget was nice, more friendly and attentive to him than she's been since the night they were here together.
He actually said his favorite part of the entire field trip was sitting on a bench in Lafayette Park with Bridget, looking at the White House across the street and just talking. Just the two of them.
Poor Bastard. He wants to pull a Lloyd Dobler, make the Grand Romantic Gesture. He's hoping that somehow him going to Prom and just being in the same room with Bridget will bring them together. You know, like some old John Hughes movie, with the band playing the right song.... God, the thought of that makes me grin.
He's a natural-born Romeo, my firstborn son. Just like his Daddy.
Maybe we should have named him Romeo instead of Chucklehead #2. Well, I was in my cowboy phase when Jess was born, poor Kid. Ha ha.
Anyway, Dorothea immediately said N-O when Jesse tried to ask her about Prom; didn't even listen to his entire question before shutting him down. But Jess has been holding out hope that if he got his act together and did really great this week with the tutoring and volunteering and studying for finals and his attitude, maybe she'd give him a break. And he has been doing really great. Awesome, actually.
To Jesse's credit, he didn't ask me to intervene on his behalf. Not sure if that's because he doesn't think I will or because he doesn't think it will do any good. After all, his Mother has been making all the parenting decisions since he was in diapers. I know he sees that, especially now that Dorothea and I are no longer married.
But my heart went out to him during that talk we had. He just looked so sad and defeated. Beat down by unrequited love.
I remember those days.
And now I think I gotta try to help My Boy. I'm gonna take one for the team, tell Dorothea to give Jess a break and let him go to Prom. She probably won't like it, may even bitch at me about it and tell me I'm being too soft-hearted, a wussy disciplinarian, or too stupid to see that Jess is playing me.
But I know he's not. I can see it in his eyes.
I'll call her tomorrow.
Living Room
Hmm. Think I'm about to get myself in trouble with my ex-wife.
We don't often disagree on parenting issues. In fact, I think the last time we didn't see eye-to-eye was when we just had 2 kids and then she told me I was an idiot and we were doing things HER way because she had to deal with the fallout. I didn't listen, went against her judgment and I paid for it later.
Since then I just pretty much let her make the decisions and I back her up.
But this time I just don't think I can do it. There's a teenaged heart on the line. And I'm a hopeless fucking romantic.
Jess and I had a great long talk last night. Went out for pizza, played pinball, just hung out. And he really opened up to me, told me everything going on in his "fucked up life" as he calls it.
Of course his life ain't even close to fucked up, but he's the one living the teenaged angst, not me. So I just shut up and listened until he asked me what I thought.
So after the DC Beer Bust Dorothea promptly grounded Jesse. Big time. No afterschool activities, no phone, no TV, no computer except for homework, monitored by her, and no going out with friends. Jess of course thought that was totally unfair since he was honest and up-front about his fuck-up, and he accepted responsibility. Hence his attitude toward Momma last week.
Well obviously Dorothea couldn't ground Jesse from school, especially since she saw his expulsion coming. And it was in the Hallowed High School Halls where the most recent drama began to unfold.
Seems Jesse got invited to the Prom. He told the Girl he wants to go but he's grounded because of the beer thing and he doesn't think his Momma will back down. Girl said she'll wait until the last minute, for him; if he can't go she'll go solo. And no, Girl isn't Bridget.
Girl -- I think her name is Kaylie? Keely? Kelly? Katie? K-something. And no, not Katie. I'd remember that one, ha ha. Something with a Y in there somewhere. Anyway -- Girl is a friend of Steph's but not one of her Posse. Jesse says she's smart and pretty, but he's not at all attracted to her. In fact, he thinks she's kinda fake. But he wants to go to Prom with her anyway.
When I asked him why he wants to go to Prom with some girl he's not really into he gave me a line about it being some kind of a big honor for a Sophomore to be asked to Senior Prom, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, blah blah blah.
But I saw right through that bullshit. He wants to go because Bridget will be there. With somebody else.
I listened and pondered and asked Jess a few leading questions, then finally got the truth out of him. Turns out Bridget's still going to Prom with her ex-boyfriend, the one she broke up with after the fiasco out here a few weeks ago. They're still double-dating with Steph and Brendan. Jess said Bridget and her ex are just friends now; they're no longer a couple. But I could hear the doubt in his voice when he said it.
I asked him how he knew Bridget and her ex were nothing more friends and he said she told him so, on the field trip. I didn't let on that Cate filled me in on their hand-holding at the Kennedy Center, and he didn't tell me. He just said they had a great time and Bridget was nice, more friendly and attentive to him than she's been since the night they were here together.
He actually said his favorite part of the entire field trip was sitting on a bench in Lafayette Park with Bridget, looking at the White House across the street and just talking. Just the two of them.
Poor Bastard. He wants to pull a Lloyd Dobler, make the Grand Romantic Gesture. He's hoping that somehow him going to Prom and just being in the same room with Bridget will bring them together. You know, like some old John Hughes movie, with the band playing the right song.... God, the thought of that makes me grin.
He's a natural-born Romeo, my firstborn son. Just like his Daddy.
Maybe we should have named him Romeo instead of Chucklehead #2. Well, I was in my cowboy phase when Jess was born, poor Kid. Ha ha.
Anyway, Dorothea immediately said N-O when Jesse tried to ask her about Prom; didn't even listen to his entire question before shutting him down. But Jess has been holding out hope that if he got his act together and did really great this week with the tutoring and volunteering and studying for finals and his attitude, maybe she'd give him a break. And he has been doing really great. Awesome, actually.
To Jesse's credit, he didn't ask me to intervene on his behalf. Not sure if that's because he doesn't think I will or because he doesn't think it will do any good. After all, his Mother has been making all the parenting decisions since he was in diapers. I know he sees that, especially now that Dorothea and I are no longer married.
But my heart went out to him during that talk we had. He just looked so sad and defeated. Beat down by unrequited love.
I remember those days.
And now I think I gotta try to help My Boy. I'm gonna take one for the team, tell Dorothea to give Jess a break and let him go to Prom. She probably won't like it, may even bitch at me about it and tell me I'm being too soft-hearted, a wussy disciplinarian, or too stupid to see that Jess is playing me.
But I know he's not. I can see it in his eyes.
I'll call her tomorrow.
Monday, May 23
2:00 pm
Hope Community Center
Finally getting a couple minutes to chow down some lunch. I've had a damned phone stuck to my ear all morning.
Christ, there's a lot of paperwork involved in being a musician. Nobody told me that when I was 16, dreaming of being a Rock Star. Nobody ever said I'd need to practically go to fucking law school or get an MBA to do this shit.
But I guess I'm doing okay without the college degree, ha ha.
Speaking of college... Mr. Joe Cool is in the other room studying for his final exams. He better keep his grades up if he plans to go to college. And he WILL go to college, if his mother or I have anything to say about it. It ain't like it used to be when Dorothea and I were kids, you could opt not to go and still do okay in life. These days a college degree is practically a requirement for success.
Not that my kids will ever want for anything, financially. But they still need to be able to make it on their own, to succeed in their chosen professions through their own blood, sweat, and tears. They need to be their own people, stand on their own two feet.
Jess is handling his first day of expulsion pretty well. No bitching or whining, even when he had to get up early to catch the train with me. He grumbled a little but I told him to shut up and get his ass out of bed; if I could be up and running on 4 hours of sleep so could he. He's way damned younger than I am.
Of course he promptly fell asleep on the train.
Once we got out here Yolanda set me up in an office and Jess helped clean up the place, scrub down the kitchen, get all the activities for the afterschool programs set up. When the kids get here he's gonna tutor reading or math, whatever the kids need help with. He's had his nose in his own books since he finished the manual labor.
Honestly, he's probably being way more productive here than he would have been at school. Maybe getting expelled is a good thing, ha ha.
Well, not for his Mama's blood pressure.
Man, it's good to be home. Back to normal life for a few weeks. Rolled in around 2:30 am, climbed in bed with Cate and fell right asleep. So much for the traditional Welcome-Home Shag. I was completely wiped after last night's show, and the plane ride didn't help. Couldn't sleep, was still coming down. By the time I hit the front door I was ready to collapse.
I did get a quickie in the shower this morning, though. Heh heh.
That's gonna have to last me a couple days. Jess and I are hanging at the Jersey house while Cate stays in the City. She's got a super-busy schedule this week since she's taking Thursday and Friday and all next week off. Thursday morning we fly to Vegas for Danny's wedding. That oughta be fun, and probably a little scary since my Wife's in charge of the Bachelor Party. Lord knows what she has up her sleeve.
And next week is gonna be completely NUTS. Steph's birthday, Prom night, her graduation... plus I volunteered myself for another one of those benefit shows. When am I gonna learn? Cate says "never," ha ha. She's probably right.
Since Jesse's doing his penance 'til Wednesday and I have Foundation business it's just easier for us to stay in Jersey. Plus I'm helping Obie out on his project at Sanctuary. It's coming along nicely; I have a few ideas. Which he'll probably change as soon as I leave the studio, ha ha.
Even though Jesse's in the doghouse I'm looking forward to hanging with him for the next few days. I feel like we haven't had much time together lately. We haven't really talked in a few weeks. Maybe tonight we'll go into town and grab a pizza together, and he can fill me in on what's going on in his life.
Just father and son. I like that idea.
Hope Community Center
Finally getting a couple minutes to chow down some lunch. I've had a damned phone stuck to my ear all morning.
Christ, there's a lot of paperwork involved in being a musician. Nobody told me that when I was 16, dreaming of being a Rock Star. Nobody ever said I'd need to practically go to fucking law school or get an MBA to do this shit.
But I guess I'm doing okay without the college degree, ha ha.
Speaking of college... Mr. Joe Cool is in the other room studying for his final exams. He better keep his grades up if he plans to go to college. And he WILL go to college, if his mother or I have anything to say about it. It ain't like it used to be when Dorothea and I were kids, you could opt not to go and still do okay in life. These days a college degree is practically a requirement for success.
Not that my kids will ever want for anything, financially. But they still need to be able to make it on their own, to succeed in their chosen professions through their own blood, sweat, and tears. They need to be their own people, stand on their own two feet.
Jess is handling his first day of expulsion pretty well. No bitching or whining, even when he had to get up early to catch the train with me. He grumbled a little but I told him to shut up and get his ass out of bed; if I could be up and running on 4 hours of sleep so could he. He's way damned younger than I am.
Of course he promptly fell asleep on the train.
Once we got out here Yolanda set me up in an office and Jess helped clean up the place, scrub down the kitchen, get all the activities for the afterschool programs set up. When the kids get here he's gonna tutor reading or math, whatever the kids need help with. He's had his nose in his own books since he finished the manual labor.
Honestly, he's probably being way more productive here than he would have been at school. Maybe getting expelled is a good thing, ha ha.
Well, not for his Mama's blood pressure.
Man, it's good to be home. Back to normal life for a few weeks. Rolled in around 2:30 am, climbed in bed with Cate and fell right asleep. So much for the traditional Welcome-Home Shag. I was completely wiped after last night's show, and the plane ride didn't help. Couldn't sleep, was still coming down. By the time I hit the front door I was ready to collapse.
I did get a quickie in the shower this morning, though. Heh heh.
That's gonna have to last me a couple days. Jess and I are hanging at the Jersey house while Cate stays in the City. She's got a super-busy schedule this week since she's taking Thursday and Friday and all next week off. Thursday morning we fly to Vegas for Danny's wedding. That oughta be fun, and probably a little scary since my Wife's in charge of the Bachelor Party. Lord knows what she has up her sleeve.
And next week is gonna be completely NUTS. Steph's birthday, Prom night, her graduation... plus I volunteered myself for another one of those benefit shows. When am I gonna learn? Cate says "never," ha ha. She's probably right.
Since Jesse's doing his penance 'til Wednesday and I have Foundation business it's just easier for us to stay in Jersey. Plus I'm helping Obie out on his project at Sanctuary. It's coming along nicely; I have a few ideas. Which he'll probably change as soon as I leave the studio, ha ha.
Even though Jesse's in the doghouse I'm looking forward to hanging with him for the next few days. I feel like we haven't had much time together lately. We haven't really talked in a few weeks. Maybe tonight we'll go into town and grab a pizza together, and he can fill me in on what's going on in his life.
Just father and son. I like that idea.
Sunday, May 22
3:10 pm
Plane
Headed for Saint Louie. Last show in North America.
Man, how I've been looking forward to this day. Ready to rock it and get the fuck outta town.
Keep the engines running and the plane on the taxiway, Man... ready to get back home to my Babies.
As much as I'm set to go home, these last few shows have been a helluva lot of fun. Last night especially, the Milwaukee crowd was Nuts. Musta been all that good beer, ha ha.
Had a blast onstage, we were really firing on all cylinders. X-Man was on fire. Plus I won my bet with Davey about that damned REM song. He was positive I wouldn't be able to pull that one off, even with the tele. I showed his ass, practiced it for like an hour in my dressing room. Then I went out there and nailed that sonofabitch. Eat your heart out, Michael Stipe, ha ha.
Davey, I'll take that case of wine delivered to the Jersey house, thankyouverymuch.
Feelin' good tonight, feeling feisty. Gonna be a fun show. Last one here at home for awhile. I think we all need a break, both us and the fans. But we're going out with a Bang.
Tomorrow I'm back to being Dad. Jess is staying at our place tonight, first thing tomorrow we're heading out to Newark for him to start his tutoring gig. I got stuff to do with the Foundation; just moved a few meetings around and voila--I can keep an eye on Mr. Expelled while I get some shit done. Lots to do, too... Cate and I take off for Vegas Thursday morning so I gotta pack a lot of shit into a few days.
But first I gotta play RockStar tonight. Then I get to play Horny-RockStar-Home-From-the-Road somewhere after midnight, heh heh. That ain't gonna be a stretch. But I guess we'll have to confine the activities to the bedroom with Jess in the house. Dammit, guess I didn't exactly think that through.
But for now, meet me in Saint Louie, Louie....
4:55 pm
Soundcheck
SON
OF
A
BITCH.
They did it again.
The whole Goddamned Band and Crew.
Not Grouchos, not Elvises.
Fucking feathery, blingy Elton John fucking glasses. Giant ones. Multicolored. With layers and layers of feathers and jewels and goofy shit all over them. And there are hats. Big rainbow-colored Mad Hatter hats. Looks like some sorta Dr. Seuss convention out there at my fucking Soundcheck.
And everybody's just calmly going about their business, like nothing's unusual. Nobody's even cracking a smirk at me when I walk up to them and stare them right in the eyeballs.
Fuckers.
X is the craziest. He looks like some sorta deranged Muppet with these giant lime green and fuschia feathers sprouting from the temples of his rhinestone shades. And he's got this insane purple top hat that is covered with sequins and giant peacock feather. Add in all that wild-ass hair of his and its like he's an extra in some bad 70's porn flick. Ghetto Pimp #2. He even has a fake fucking gold tooth.
He just nodded at me and said "Hey Boss." That's it.
David's glasses are giant fucking peace signs. Red, white, and blue. And Tico? He has a fucking PARROT on the side of his.
DB's running around shooting it all. Of course he's in the same crazy-ass getup too. At least I'll have photographic proof that I didn't hallucinate all this shit.
I fucking give up.
Plane
Headed for Saint Louie. Last show in North America.
Man, how I've been looking forward to this day. Ready to rock it and get the fuck outta town.
Keep the engines running and the plane on the taxiway, Man... ready to get back home to my Babies.
As much as I'm set to go home, these last few shows have been a helluva lot of fun. Last night especially, the Milwaukee crowd was Nuts. Musta been all that good beer, ha ha.
Had a blast onstage, we were really firing on all cylinders. X-Man was on fire. Plus I won my bet with Davey about that damned REM song. He was positive I wouldn't be able to pull that one off, even with the tele. I showed his ass, practiced it for like an hour in my dressing room. Then I went out there and nailed that sonofabitch. Eat your heart out, Michael Stipe, ha ha.
Davey, I'll take that case of wine delivered to the Jersey house, thankyouverymuch.
Feelin' good tonight, feeling feisty. Gonna be a fun show. Last one here at home for awhile. I think we all need a break, both us and the fans. But we're going out with a Bang.
Tomorrow I'm back to being Dad. Jess is staying at our place tonight, first thing tomorrow we're heading out to Newark for him to start his tutoring gig. I got stuff to do with the Foundation; just moved a few meetings around and voila--I can keep an eye on Mr. Expelled while I get some shit done. Lots to do, too... Cate and I take off for Vegas Thursday morning so I gotta pack a lot of shit into a few days.
But first I gotta play RockStar tonight. Then I get to play Horny-RockStar-Home-From-the-Road somewhere after midnight, heh heh. That ain't gonna be a stretch. But I guess we'll have to confine the activities to the bedroom with Jess in the house. Dammit, guess I didn't exactly think that through.
But for now, meet me in Saint Louie, Louie....
4:55 pm
Soundcheck
SON
OF
A
BITCH.
They did it again.
The whole Goddamned Band and Crew.
Not Grouchos, not Elvises.
Fucking feathery, blingy Elton John fucking glasses. Giant ones. Multicolored. With layers and layers of feathers and jewels and goofy shit all over them. And there are hats. Big rainbow-colored Mad Hatter hats. Looks like some sorta Dr. Seuss convention out there at my fucking Soundcheck.
And everybody's just calmly going about their business, like nothing's unusual. Nobody's even cracking a smirk at me when I walk up to them and stare them right in the eyeballs.
Fuckers.
X is the craziest. He looks like some sorta deranged Muppet with these giant lime green and fuschia feathers sprouting from the temples of his rhinestone shades. And he's got this insane purple top hat that is covered with sequins and giant peacock feather. Add in all that wild-ass hair of his and its like he's an extra in some bad 70's porn flick. Ghetto Pimp #2. He even has a fake fucking gold tooth.
He just nodded at me and said "Hey Boss." That's it.
David's glasses are giant fucking peace signs. Red, white, and blue. And Tico? He has a fucking PARROT on the side of his.
DB's running around shooting it all. Of course he's in the same crazy-ass getup too. At least I'll have photographic proof that I didn't hallucinate all this shit.
I fucking give up.
Saturday, May 21
12:05 pm
My Room
So, apparently today is the End of the World. The Rapture, I believe it's called.
Feels like Saturday to me. I think. I tend to lose track of the days when I'm on the road.
No, wait... Yeah. Saturday.
When I talked to Cate this morning I pointed out that the world was ending today but I'm still here. She said it doesn't happen until 6 pm local, and it doesn't apply to Catholics.
And that she didn't expect me to ascend to Heaven anyway.
She said for me to save her a barstool in Hell, ha ha.
Sheesh, my Wife has no concern whatsoever for the Eternal Damnation of my Soul. Or hers, apparently.
Oh well, at least we'll be among friends. I always said this Band would play anywhere, ha ha. Headlining in Hell sounds like a pretty good gig. Not sure it's one we can add to our list of "Firsts" though. Think the Stones will get there first.
Suppose we'll be forced to play only songs from 7800? Now THAT would be Hell.
I ain't worried. Dorothea always said Sambora is the Devil, so guess I'm covered, ha ha.
5:25 pm
Venue
Huh.
Maybe the world is gonna end. At soundcheck, everybody looks normal. No glasses or bowties or sideburns.
They're just fucking with me. I know it.
My Room
So, apparently today is the End of the World. The Rapture, I believe it's called.
Feels like Saturday to me. I think. I tend to lose track of the days when I'm on the road.
No, wait... Yeah. Saturday.
When I talked to Cate this morning I pointed out that the world was ending today but I'm still here. She said it doesn't happen until 6 pm local, and it doesn't apply to Catholics.
And that she didn't expect me to ascend to Heaven anyway.
She said for me to save her a barstool in Hell, ha ha.
Sheesh, my Wife has no concern whatsoever for the Eternal Damnation of my Soul. Or hers, apparently.
Oh well, at least we'll be among friends. I always said this Band would play anywhere, ha ha. Headlining in Hell sounds like a pretty good gig. Not sure it's one we can add to our list of "Firsts" though. Think the Stones will get there first.
Suppose we'll be forced to play only songs from 7800? Now THAT would be Hell.
I ain't worried. Dorothea always said Sambora is the Devil, so guess I'm covered, ha ha.
5:25 pm
Venue
Huh.
Maybe the world is gonna end. At soundcheck, everybody looks normal. No glasses or bowties or sideburns.
They're just fucking with me. I know it.
Friday, May 20
1:15 pm
Plane
Headed for BeerTown. Two more stops and then we're HOME.
Getting so antzy I can hardly stand it. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. To play with my kids. To knock up my Wife. Heh heh.
Gonna be a crazy couple weeks before we head across The Pond, but I'm ready. Bring it on.
Speaking of Crazy, my Band is trying to drive me there, bunch of SmartAsses that they are. No sign of the fucking glasses today, but no show tonight. Apparently there's some sort of rule that they only appear during soundcheck.
And I'll be damned if I can figure out where the Hell they're hiding them the rest of the time. I snuck into Matt's room and rummaged around in his luggage, nothing. Checked out the guys' wardrobe cases, Nada.
Where the fuck do they go? As many damned people as are wearing them -- not to mention the bowties and original Grouchos -- there's gotta be a big fucking box of them someplace. If only I could find it and hide it, then I'd have the last laugh. Har-dee-har-har, Motherfuckers.
Of course now they have something else to give me shit about -- literally. Came back to my room this morning from the gym to find a fine assortment of "toilet necessities" had been delivered to my room. A dozen jars of prune juice, every type of laxative on known to man (and some I'm not sure were actually laxatives), and even a twin-pack of Fleet Enemas and a business card for some "therapeutic colonic" place. What the fuck? No fucking thank you! I could go for a month without taking a dump and not go anywhere near one of those places.
I also received about 150 fucking rolls of toilet paper and a big Costco-sized box of Depens adult diapers. "Just in case," according to the Anonymous card. Assholes don't even have the balls to sign their names. Like I don't know who it is anyway. Davey knocked on my door and handed me one of those sanitary toilet seat covers this morning, then just turned around and left. Didn't say a word. Asswipe.
Okay, so my constipation is a source of humor. I can see that, given the timing. I laughed. Once. As for the pranks, very fucking funny. ONCE. If this shit shows up in my room in Milwaukee heads are gonna roll.
And I'm staying away from the cheese in Wisconsin, just in case.
Of course Cate was absolutely no fucking support whatsoever. When I told her what happened she laughed so hard she could hardly breathe. Traitor.
Since Cate laughed at me I told her I don't feel sorry for her, after the evening she had last night. Turns out the Chuckleheads were in full form at our house, rampaging through the place and leaving a swath of destruction in their wake. Cate finally had to put Jakey in time-out and had to "take away" Russell from Romeo.
I'm not quite sure how you confiscate an imaginary pet but somehow my Wife managed to do it. For 15 minutes Russell was Cate's captive, and Romeo was NOT happy. But he sat his ass down and behaved after she did that. As for Jakey, he's still pouting, apparently. Cate said he's being a total Diva, just like his Daddy can be. Hey, I resemble that remark.
By the time Dorothea and Steph got to Cate's to pick the Boys up Cate was ready to drink. I can relate.
When I jokingly asked Cate if she still wanted to have my kid after the evening she had with the two that are already in existence she shot me back a pretty funny answer. She said I better keep my fucking Y chromosome to myself, ha ha.
Okay, I'll go along with that one. I'm all for having a nice, sweet, quiet Little Girl. If that happens I guess she'll be nothing like either of her parents, ha ha.
Davey's peeking around his seat at me, grinning like he's up to something. Those damned blond curls are bouncing and he looks evil. He better be fucking cool. I let him sing his damned song last night, he owes me.
Ah -- there it is. Over the intercom. "This is your Captain. We have reached cruising altitude and the seat belt sign has been turned off. The crapper is now available for your use, Mister Bongiovi. Be sure to enjoy the provided refreshments and assortment of reading material while you..... work things out."
HA HA HA Very fucking funny.
Remember, Bryan... payback = BITCH.
Thursday, May 19
12:15 pm
Suite
Well, the hammer finally dropped on Jess and his pals. Expelled for 3 days, beginning Monday.
Or as Dorothea said, "just in time for YOU to get home and deal with him."
Apparently I'm in charge of Attitude Adjustment. Seems Mr. Party-Time Casanova has pitched some serious 'tude at his Mama since getting home from the field trip. He might have been cool and mature with Cate, but with D not so much.
Well, I got some plans for Mr. Cool. He's gonna spend his 3 days away from school doing charity work. I emailed Sister Mary to see where he could do some good for HOME. I'm thinking one of their tutoring/outreach programs. And when Jesse's not tutoring he'll be studying for his own final exams. A few 12-hour days of that ought to get his head on straight.
I'm not so much pissed off about the beer as I am about his attitude. I know teenage rebellion is a normal thing, but it's so out of character for Jess. He's always been the laid-back kid. He obviously has a wild streak (which makes me proud, ha ha) but he's never given much lip to me or Dorothea. Apparently the Times They Are-a Changin'.
On other homefront news, it's a wacky day around the Bongiovi household(s). Dorothea enlisted Cate's help to divide and conquer with school activities. There's a parents'/kids' party at the Chuckleheads' school tonight that D is kinda co-in-charge-of. And Steph's acting class has their final scenes production tonight.
Cate's gonna help out with the party and take Jakey and Romey back to our place after, so Dorothea can go watch Steph's performance without the Lunatics in tow. D promised to video it for me so I can watch later. I've hardly gotten to see any of Steph's productions this year. I regret that; she's not a bad little actress. Comes much more naturally to her than it did to me. Took me 5 years of lessons to figure out how to do it right, ha ha.
Then again, she's a Girl. Drama is hormonally-ingrained.
As for me, I'm on vacation, ha ha. Heading out with some of the guys for a quick private tour at Graceland. It's been years... no, over a decade since I've been out to visit The King. X wanted to take his Mama so I had Matty set it up. It will have to be quick, but a couple hours will do. We're even doing a private lunch on the Estate. That will be pretty cool.
I was telling Cate this morning about our night last night and our day ahead. She's totally jealous. We Boys had an awesome night out, low key, just beer and Blues, kinda like in Chicago. Only this time X couldn't stay in his seat, ha ha. He got up with some local band and just let it all fly. He's a helluva Blues guitarist; something I guess I always knew but never really paid attention to since he's been in harder-core bands. Richie told me awhile back X has done some great Blues session work. Now I see why.
Cate said she wished she had been there to see that. I told her I bet she does, ha ha. She's gonna choke when I show her the pic I took of X up on that little stage, wearing a purple bandana over top all that wild Greek hair.
I know my wife's Kryptonite, heh heh.
Cate also wishes she was here today to go to Graceland with us. In all her travels she's never been there. That just stunned me; as much as Cate loves music I thought for sure she'd made it to the Elvis Mecca. She's been to Memphis and adores Beale Street, but she just never had time to do Graceland. I promised her I'll bring her back here once the tour is done and we'll take our time, see everything. A little mini-getaway for us, soon. Maybe as soon as the kids are back in school in the fall.
Speaking of Elvis, Matty's pounding on my door. Time for this Elvis to leave the Building, ha ha.
4:55 pm
Venue
MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just rolled in for soundcheck.
Everybody's wearing glasses AGAIN. But this time they're not Grouchos -- they're Elvises. Big-ass shades with fake sideburns hanging off the temples.
SOMEBODY BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THESE GODDAMNED GLASSES!!!!
7:15 pm
Venue
This is one of those times when I'm really glad I'm the Boss. I got my own private john, don't have to share with the rest of the band. Bet they're glad for that too.
I've been bound up all damned afternoon. Feel like I got about 10 pounds of crap backed up in my bowels. And if I don't get rid of it before showtime things are gonna get ugly. I really wanted to take an ex-lax but I didn't dare. I can't go out and jump around onstage and shit my pants.
I'd never hear the end of the Old Fart jokes then.
I've been in here 20 minutes now; the crew's probably getting antzy. PK's probably laughing his ass off, and Davey's in fine form, I'll bet. Christ, I'm never gonna live this down.
Cate's gonna fall out of her chair laughing when I tell her about this. IF I tell her about this.
Fuck, I'll have to tell her about this. If I don't the guys sure as Hell will. Matt especially.
What a Glamorous fucking Rock Star life I lead. "Hey guys, we can't start the show yet -- the lead singer's still on the Can!"
Fucking Elvis. Him and his damned Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches.
Suite
Well, the hammer finally dropped on Jess and his pals. Expelled for 3 days, beginning Monday.
Or as Dorothea said, "just in time for YOU to get home and deal with him."
Apparently I'm in charge of Attitude Adjustment. Seems Mr. Party-Time Casanova has pitched some serious 'tude at his Mama since getting home from the field trip. He might have been cool and mature with Cate, but with D not so much.
Well, I got some plans for Mr. Cool. He's gonna spend his 3 days away from school doing charity work. I emailed Sister Mary to see where he could do some good for HOME. I'm thinking one of their tutoring/outreach programs. And when Jesse's not tutoring he'll be studying for his own final exams. A few 12-hour days of that ought to get his head on straight.
I'm not so much pissed off about the beer as I am about his attitude. I know teenage rebellion is a normal thing, but it's so out of character for Jess. He's always been the laid-back kid. He obviously has a wild streak (which makes me proud, ha ha) but he's never given much lip to me or Dorothea. Apparently the Times They Are-a Changin'.
On other homefront news, it's a wacky day around the Bongiovi household(s). Dorothea enlisted Cate's help to divide and conquer with school activities. There's a parents'/kids' party at the Chuckleheads' school tonight that D is kinda co-in-charge-of. And Steph's acting class has their final scenes production tonight.
Cate's gonna help out with the party and take Jakey and Romey back to our place after, so Dorothea can go watch Steph's performance without the Lunatics in tow. D promised to video it for me so I can watch later. I've hardly gotten to see any of Steph's productions this year. I regret that; she's not a bad little actress. Comes much more naturally to her than it did to me. Took me 5 years of lessons to figure out how to do it right, ha ha.
Then again, she's a Girl. Drama is hormonally-ingrained.
As for me, I'm on vacation, ha ha. Heading out with some of the guys for a quick private tour at Graceland. It's been years... no, over a decade since I've been out to visit The King. X wanted to take his Mama so I had Matty set it up. It will have to be quick, but a couple hours will do. We're even doing a private lunch on the Estate. That will be pretty cool.
I was telling Cate this morning about our night last night and our day ahead. She's totally jealous. We Boys had an awesome night out, low key, just beer and Blues, kinda like in Chicago. Only this time X couldn't stay in his seat, ha ha. He got up with some local band and just let it all fly. He's a helluva Blues guitarist; something I guess I always knew but never really paid attention to since he's been in harder-core bands. Richie told me awhile back X has done some great Blues session work. Now I see why.
Cate said she wished she had been there to see that. I told her I bet she does, ha ha. She's gonna choke when I show her the pic I took of X up on that little stage, wearing a purple bandana over top all that wild Greek hair.
I know my wife's Kryptonite, heh heh.
Cate also wishes she was here today to go to Graceland with us. In all her travels she's never been there. That just stunned me; as much as Cate loves music I thought for sure she'd made it to the Elvis Mecca. She's been to Memphis and adores Beale Street, but she just never had time to do Graceland. I promised her I'll bring her back here once the tour is done and we'll take our time, see everything. A little mini-getaway for us, soon. Maybe as soon as the kids are back in school in the fall.
Speaking of Elvis, Matty's pounding on my door. Time for this Elvis to leave the Building, ha ha.
4:55 pm
Venue
MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just rolled in for soundcheck.
Everybody's wearing glasses AGAIN. But this time they're not Grouchos -- they're Elvises. Big-ass shades with fake sideburns hanging off the temples.
SOMEBODY BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THESE GODDAMNED GLASSES!!!!
7:15 pm
Venue
This is one of those times when I'm really glad I'm the Boss. I got my own private john, don't have to share with the rest of the band. Bet they're glad for that too.
I've been bound up all damned afternoon. Feel like I got about 10 pounds of crap backed up in my bowels. And if I don't get rid of it before showtime things are gonna get ugly. I really wanted to take an ex-lax but I didn't dare. I can't go out and jump around onstage and shit my pants.
I'd never hear the end of the Old Fart jokes then.
I've been in here 20 minutes now; the crew's probably getting antzy. PK's probably laughing his ass off, and Davey's in fine form, I'll bet. Christ, I'm never gonna live this down.
Cate's gonna fall out of her chair laughing when I tell her about this. IF I tell her about this.
Fuck, I'll have to tell her about this. If I don't the guys sure as Hell will. Matt especially.
What a Glamorous fucking Rock Star life I lead. "Hey guys, we can't start the show yet -- the lead singer's still on the Can!"
Fucking Elvis. Him and his damned Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches.
Wednesday, May 18
9:15 pm
My Room
Getting ready to hit Beale Street with the Boys. Gonna find a dark corner and listen to some Blues. That's what you gotta do when you're in Memphis.
Busy day today; phoners and press and some Foundation stuff and a conference call with the Solutions people. Finally hopped the plane to Memphis mid-afternoon, got in just in time for dinner. Said hello to the Peabody Ducks as we came in, ha ha.
Had a wonderful dinner out tonight with X and his friends and family. They are such great, genuine people, just as I'd expect from knowing Phil. He's pretty down-to-earth as Rock-n-Roll Rebels go, ha ha.
His Mom is just a Doll. Couldn't help turning on the charm for her. She was so cute to watch at the Houston show last night. So proud of her Boy. As she should be.
Gotta admit, as much as I miss Richie and am looking forward to his return, I'm gonna hate to see X go. He's brought a different kind of energy to the show, a little spark we all needed. We were down and tired and road-weary, and he's kept us up. And he's completely won over the fans, which is great. I was a little worried about that -- our die-hards can be pretty tough. But he had 'em eating out of the palm of his guitar- playin' hand by the third show.
He's completely charmed the Hell out of my Wife, too. I think she has a little crush on Mr. X, she was pretty silly and giggly when she hung out with him back at Nassau and Mohegan. Cate's always had a thing for long-haired guitarists. Shoulda known I was in trouble when she said he looked like a "Baby Slash," ha ha.
But somehow I don't think I have anything to worry about.
I'm a little in love too, with a beautiful dark-haired, doe-eyed little thing named Susannah. She had me wrapped around her finger in about two seconds flat. X has a buddy who works for Gibson guitars here in Memphis; he and his family came out to meet us for dinner. He has a gorgeous 9-month-old daughter. I just couldn't stop watching her. We weren't even halfway through the appetizer before Little Suzy Q was on my lap. Couldn't resist holding her.
It felt so damned good to have a baby on my lap again. I miss my kids being little. God, it's gonna be great to have another little one to bounce on my knee.
I must have been grinning ear-to-ear all night. Matt caught my eye and just gave me a little nod and a smirk; he knew exactly what was in my head. Yeah, Bro... you get to be the Godfather. Even if it didn't happen in Columbus, ha ha.
He snapped a pic of me and sent it to Cate with a note about me being all mushy and gushy over "some girl," ha ha. She loved it, sent me a text telling me how cute I looked. And that I look even sexier in Daddy Mode than I do up on stage or strutting around the house bare-assed naked.
Betcha the leather lace-ups and bandana still top Cate's "sexy" list though, ha ha.
So after dinner we came back to the hotel and dropped off Momma X and part of the clan. The Girls are staying in, just us Boys on the Town tonight. Gonna be fun. And I'm reasonably sure I'll keep my ass out of trouble tonight since Sambora ain't here to lead me into Temptation, ha ha. The Wife will be glad for that.
The Night is Young, Boys.... time to find that Honky-Tonk Bar down on Beale that Mr. "Tony" Bryan wrote all about in that little ol' play of his....
My Room
Getting ready to hit Beale Street with the Boys. Gonna find a dark corner and listen to some Blues. That's what you gotta do when you're in Memphis.
Busy day today; phoners and press and some Foundation stuff and a conference call with the Solutions people. Finally hopped the plane to Memphis mid-afternoon, got in just in time for dinner. Said hello to the Peabody Ducks as we came in, ha ha.
Had a wonderful dinner out tonight with X and his friends and family. They are such great, genuine people, just as I'd expect from knowing Phil. He's pretty down-to-earth as Rock-n-Roll Rebels go, ha ha.
His Mom is just a Doll. Couldn't help turning on the charm for her. She was so cute to watch at the Houston show last night. So proud of her Boy. As she should be.
Gotta admit, as much as I miss Richie and am looking forward to his return, I'm gonna hate to see X go. He's brought a different kind of energy to the show, a little spark we all needed. We were down and tired and road-weary, and he's kept us up. And he's completely won over the fans, which is great. I was a little worried about that -- our die-hards can be pretty tough. But he had 'em eating out of the palm of his guitar- playin' hand by the third show.
He's completely charmed the Hell out of my Wife, too. I think she has a little crush on Mr. X, she was pretty silly and giggly when she hung out with him back at Nassau and Mohegan. Cate's always had a thing for long-haired guitarists. Shoulda known I was in trouble when she said he looked like a "Baby Slash," ha ha.
But somehow I don't think I have anything to worry about.
I'm a little in love too, with a beautiful dark-haired, doe-eyed little thing named Susannah. She had me wrapped around her finger in about two seconds flat. X has a buddy who works for Gibson guitars here in Memphis; he and his family came out to meet us for dinner. He has a gorgeous 9-month-old daughter. I just couldn't stop watching her. We weren't even halfway through the appetizer before Little Suzy Q was on my lap. Couldn't resist holding her.
It felt so damned good to have a baby on my lap again. I miss my kids being little. God, it's gonna be great to have another little one to bounce on my knee.
I must have been grinning ear-to-ear all night. Matt caught my eye and just gave me a little nod and a smirk; he knew exactly what was in my head. Yeah, Bro... you get to be the Godfather. Even if it didn't happen in Columbus, ha ha.
He snapped a pic of me and sent it to Cate with a note about me being all mushy and gushy over "some girl," ha ha. She loved it, sent me a text telling me how cute I looked. And that I look even sexier in Daddy Mode than I do up on stage or strutting around the house bare-assed naked.
Betcha the leather lace-ups and bandana still top Cate's "sexy" list though, ha ha.
So after dinner we came back to the hotel and dropped off Momma X and part of the clan. The Girls are staying in, just us Boys on the Town tonight. Gonna be fun. And I'm reasonably sure I'll keep my ass out of trouble tonight since Sambora ain't here to lead me into Temptation, ha ha. The Wife will be glad for that.
The Night is Young, Boys.... time to find that Honky-Tonk Bar down on Beale that Mr. "Tony" Bryan wrote all about in that little ol' play of his....
Tuesday, May 17
9:45 am
My Room
I'm absolutely stunned by this morning's news. I was sad and surprised to hear last week that Arnold and Maria were splitting. But today's news -- Holy Shit. Arnold has a child out of wedlock. From an affair. With one of their household staff. And he kept it secret for over 10 years.
Jesus.
I'm no Saint. Lord knows I've had my indiscretions, done things I don't even want to think about. Hurt Dorothea in ways she'll never admit. I more than most can understand how things happen, how the pressure of being in the public eye can lead you to make bad decisions.
But I can't even comprehend how you can have an affair with a woman who is your wife's confidant, who is married, father her child, and keep it a secret from everyone. Your wife. Her husband. Your children.
How do you live with yourself?
And how the Hell do you keep it under wraps when you're running for Governor and serving two terms? Jesus, the scrutiny that family has undergone, especially with Maria being a Kennedy... I'm pretty damned good at hiding my skeletons, but this is something else. Unfathomable.
This news is just so sad. I feel for all of them -- Maria, the kids, even Arnold. He's the one who seriously fucked up, but as a friend and someone who's walked at least a few steps in shoes similar to his I can certainly empathize with the pain he must be feeling now. I've been there. It's almost unbearable. Especially when it's of your own making.
But most of all I feel sorry for the child. If what's being reported is even half accurate, that poor kid's world is crumbling around him or her. Everything is different now: Daddy's not Daddy; Mama's a liar, there are brothers and sisters who you thought were just playmates.... Holy Shit. I just can't even comprehend what that poor kid is going to go through.
What is it with the world these days? Have we all become so self-centered and callous that we've completely lost even a tenuous grasp on what's good and right? What love is all about, what loyalty and devotion means?
I know I'm not a Poster Boy for clean living. I'm far from perfect. My own marriage failed, but not because of my screwing around. It was deeper than that; over the years I became a different man and Dorothea became a different woman. It sounds like an excuse, and I suppose when you boil it down it is. But at least we were honest with each other, through all the shit, up to the end. And now we're able to live our lives as friends, raise our kids as loving parents.
I pray my own children will never have to go through that kind of pain.
I've been lucky. I've had two great loves in my life, strong women who love and have loved me despite all my flaws. Who put up with my bullshit. Who support me in ways I'll probably never even comprehend.
Who keep me alive.
Gonna call my Wife and remind her how much I love her. And then I'm gonna count my blessings again.
5:15pm
Venue
Sonofabitch!!!!!
Fucking Groucho Glasses are back AGAIN.
And now everybody's wearing bowties, too. What the fuck is next? Goddamned top hats and floppy shoes?
I'm the fucking BOSS. Somebody better break and tell me what the fuck is going on, Goddammit. But every time I demand to know what the hell this Groucho thing is all about I just get funny looks, like I'm nuts.
I get no fucking respect.
6:35 pm
Dressing Room
Alright you Smartass Motherfuckers.... who switched out the mirror in my wardrobe case? With a fucking Funhouse Mirror?
Just because I say I have a LardAss doesn't mean I want to SEE a LardAss, Goddammit! I look like a 6-foot-wide midget in this thing! When I get my hands on the Evil Genius behind all this goofy-ass fuck-with-the-lead-singer shit....
(I'll never admit it out loud, but it IS pretty fucking funny.)
My money's on Davey. This is too good to be an amateur deal.
Payback's a Bitch, Mr. Bryan.
My Room
I'm absolutely stunned by this morning's news. I was sad and surprised to hear last week that Arnold and Maria were splitting. But today's news -- Holy Shit. Arnold has a child out of wedlock. From an affair. With one of their household staff. And he kept it secret for over 10 years.
Jesus.
I'm no Saint. Lord knows I've had my indiscretions, done things I don't even want to think about. Hurt Dorothea in ways she'll never admit. I more than most can understand how things happen, how the pressure of being in the public eye can lead you to make bad decisions.
But I can't even comprehend how you can have an affair with a woman who is your wife's confidant, who is married, father her child, and keep it a secret from everyone. Your wife. Her husband. Your children.
How do you live with yourself?
And how the Hell do you keep it under wraps when you're running for Governor and serving two terms? Jesus, the scrutiny that family has undergone, especially with Maria being a Kennedy... I'm pretty damned good at hiding my skeletons, but this is something else. Unfathomable.
This news is just so sad. I feel for all of them -- Maria, the kids, even Arnold. He's the one who seriously fucked up, but as a friend and someone who's walked at least a few steps in shoes similar to his I can certainly empathize with the pain he must be feeling now. I've been there. It's almost unbearable. Especially when it's of your own making.
But most of all I feel sorry for the child. If what's being reported is even half accurate, that poor kid's world is crumbling around him or her. Everything is different now: Daddy's not Daddy; Mama's a liar, there are brothers and sisters who you thought were just playmates.... Holy Shit. I just can't even comprehend what that poor kid is going to go through.
What is it with the world these days? Have we all become so self-centered and callous that we've completely lost even a tenuous grasp on what's good and right? What love is all about, what loyalty and devotion means?
I know I'm not a Poster Boy for clean living. I'm far from perfect. My own marriage failed, but not because of my screwing around. It was deeper than that; over the years I became a different man and Dorothea became a different woman. It sounds like an excuse, and I suppose when you boil it down it is. But at least we were honest with each other, through all the shit, up to the end. And now we're able to live our lives as friends, raise our kids as loving parents.
I pray my own children will never have to go through that kind of pain.
I've been lucky. I've had two great loves in my life, strong women who love and have loved me despite all my flaws. Who put up with my bullshit. Who support me in ways I'll probably never even comprehend.
Who keep me alive.
Gonna call my Wife and remind her how much I love her. And then I'm gonna count my blessings again.
5:15pm
Venue
Sonofabitch!!!!!
Fucking Groucho Glasses are back AGAIN.
And now everybody's wearing bowties, too. What the fuck is next? Goddamned top hats and floppy shoes?
I'm the fucking BOSS. Somebody better break and tell me what the fuck is going on, Goddammit. But every time I demand to know what the hell this Groucho thing is all about I just get funny looks, like I'm nuts.
I get no fucking respect.
6:35 pm
Dressing Room
Alright you Smartass Motherfuckers.... who switched out the mirror in my wardrobe case? With a fucking Funhouse Mirror?
Just because I say I have a LardAss doesn't mean I want to SEE a LardAss, Goddammit! I look like a 6-foot-wide midget in this thing! When I get my hands on the Evil Genius behind all this goofy-ass fuck-with-the-lead-singer shit....
(I'll never admit it out loud, but it IS pretty fucking funny.)
My money's on Davey. This is too good to be an amateur deal.
Payback's a Bitch, Mr. Bryan.
Monday, May 16
11:05 pm
My Room
I'm being a Good Boy. Calling it an early night. Here I am Deep in the Heart of Texas, with all these great nightspots to visit and and beautiful women to look at, and I'm taking a pass. Gonna just lay here in bed and watch a movie and go to sleep. Eventually.
Betcha can see my halo shining from outside the window, ha ha.
It's been a good day. Had another Listening Session with Mike today, with more amazing kids. Man, there were some really sad stories there. Shockingly sad. But also so uplifting and inspiring. I'm really glad I got involved in this project. Reminds me again of how lucky I am and how we all have a responsibility to help our brothers and sisters. I'm sure trying to do my part.
Speaking of helping my Brother, had a nice surprise today. Richie sent me an email. Since he's past the roughest part of inpatient now he's able to have a little contact with family. It's part of his therapy, talking about dealing with real life and the world. It made me feel good that he thought of me as "family" and used some of his time to let me know he's thinking of me. Of all of us.
He's more my brother than my actual brothers. I miss Richie so damned much it hurts. But I also understand he has to do this. I want him to do this. I want him to be well and happy and at peace with himself.
Had to smile when I read the part about him being a Rehab Rebel. He was told not to look at anything about the tour, no photos, reviews, YouTubes, anything like that. But he obviously snuck a peek -- he teased me about "playing with dolls" in Columbus, ha ha. And he made some unnecessarily smutty comment about me not having him to "play with" on the road. Hey, now!
I don't mind a bit. Good to see a little sense of humor in that email. I could almost hear him laughing, see that goofy grin of his. It will be great to see it in person.
He also asked if I've knocked Cate up yet. Sadly, no such luck. She got her period today. That bummed me out a little, I was hoping we would get this little baby-growing project underway. But I guess it's to be expected that it might take a couple tries. After all, my swimmers were corralled upstream for quite awhile.
We'll just have to keep trying.
Talked to Dorothea a little bit tonight, about Jess. No word yet on what's gonna happen regarding the Beer Bust in DC. He and the others had to go to the Dean's office today, basically were scolded and told a decision would be forthcoming. Considering the school year is almost over I'm not real sure what the Dean can do -- they can't have the kids miss final exams.
Thank God Dorothea's dealing with that and I get to avoid it, at least for another week. Yeah, that's chicken-shit of me, I know. But she's always done the heavy lifting with the Kids when it comes to school; I do best just to stay out of her way and agree with her. And I usually do agree with whatever decision she comes up with. She's way smarter than me. I'm great at backing her up. I just don't want to make the call.
I think Cate's relieved to be able to step out of that whole situation now. She said she still had a fantastic time on the trip and she feels like she and Jesse really strengthened their bond. He told her in the car when she was taking him back to D's that he doesn't blame her for what happened; it was his stupid fuck-up and he was gonna be man enough to deal with the consequences. He also thanked her for not telling the teachers until they were out of town.
Jess obviously understands the gravity of the situation. He may have made a boneheaded mistake, but at least he gets it. I'm proud of him for that. And I'm glad he doesn't hold a grudge against Cate for enforcing the rules.
Not so sure if Steph was in his shoes things would be the same. I'd like to think she'd be mature and understanding of the situation and Cate's responsibility as an adult chaperone, and an officer of the law to boot. Then again, she's a girl and has all those crazy hormones. Never know what the fuck they're gonna do.
Anyway, everybody's back where they belong, dealing with another Monday. Except me. I'm still out here on the road, singing for my supper. But just for another week, then I'm home again and ready to play husband and Daddy.
Four more shows.
My Room
I'm being a Good Boy. Calling it an early night. Here I am Deep in the Heart of Texas, with all these great nightspots to visit and and beautiful women to look at, and I'm taking a pass. Gonna just lay here in bed and watch a movie and go to sleep. Eventually.
Betcha can see my halo shining from outside the window, ha ha.
It's been a good day. Had another Listening Session with Mike today, with more amazing kids. Man, there were some really sad stories there. Shockingly sad. But also so uplifting and inspiring. I'm really glad I got involved in this project. Reminds me again of how lucky I am and how we all have a responsibility to help our brothers and sisters. I'm sure trying to do my part.
Speaking of helping my Brother, had a nice surprise today. Richie sent me an email. Since he's past the roughest part of inpatient now he's able to have a little contact with family. It's part of his therapy, talking about dealing with real life and the world. It made me feel good that he thought of me as "family" and used some of his time to let me know he's thinking of me. Of all of us.
He's more my brother than my actual brothers. I miss Richie so damned much it hurts. But I also understand he has to do this. I want him to do this. I want him to be well and happy and at peace with himself.
Had to smile when I read the part about him being a Rehab Rebel. He was told not to look at anything about the tour, no photos, reviews, YouTubes, anything like that. But he obviously snuck a peek -- he teased me about "playing with dolls" in Columbus, ha ha. And he made some unnecessarily smutty comment about me not having him to "play with" on the road. Hey, now!
I don't mind a bit. Good to see a little sense of humor in that email. I could almost hear him laughing, see that goofy grin of his. It will be great to see it in person.
He also asked if I've knocked Cate up yet. Sadly, no such luck. She got her period today. That bummed me out a little, I was hoping we would get this little baby-growing project underway. But I guess it's to be expected that it might take a couple tries. After all, my swimmers were corralled upstream for quite awhile.
We'll just have to keep trying.
Talked to Dorothea a little bit tonight, about Jess. No word yet on what's gonna happen regarding the Beer Bust in DC. He and the others had to go to the Dean's office today, basically were scolded and told a decision would be forthcoming. Considering the school year is almost over I'm not real sure what the Dean can do -- they can't have the kids miss final exams.
Thank God Dorothea's dealing with that and I get to avoid it, at least for another week. Yeah, that's chicken-shit of me, I know. But she's always done the heavy lifting with the Kids when it comes to school; I do best just to stay out of her way and agree with her. And I usually do agree with whatever decision she comes up with. She's way smarter than me. I'm great at backing her up. I just don't want to make the call.
I think Cate's relieved to be able to step out of that whole situation now. She said she still had a fantastic time on the trip and she feels like she and Jesse really strengthened their bond. He told her in the car when she was taking him back to D's that he doesn't blame her for what happened; it was his stupid fuck-up and he was gonna be man enough to deal with the consequences. He also thanked her for not telling the teachers until they were out of town.
Jess obviously understands the gravity of the situation. He may have made a boneheaded mistake, but at least he gets it. I'm proud of him for that. And I'm glad he doesn't hold a grudge against Cate for enforcing the rules.
Not so sure if Steph was in his shoes things would be the same. I'd like to think she'd be mature and understanding of the situation and Cate's responsibility as an adult chaperone, and an officer of the law to boot. Then again, she's a girl and has all those crazy hormones. Never know what the fuck they're gonna do.
Anyway, everybody's back where they belong, dealing with another Monday. Except me. I'm still out here on the road, singing for my supper. But just for another week, then I'm home again and ready to play husband and Daddy.
Four more shows.
Sunday, May 15
2:05 am
My Room
Well well well.... turns out it WAS a good thing Cate's on chaperone duty.
I gave her a call earlier for a little naughty talk and got her voice mail, followed by a text that said "I'll call you in a little while."
Just got off the phone with her, with no dirty-talk. Instead I got the report that my eldest son and his pals tried to pull a fast one. And they almost succeeded. If only they weren't Dumbasses who tried to bring a dripping duffel bag full of ice into their room to chill down their beer they may have gotten away with it.
Cate just confiscated a half a case of Heineken from Jesse and three other guys. And it was in his room's bathtub. "Guarded" by a couple of tipsy little blonde girls, who were thankfully fully-dressed when Cate conducted her search and seizure.
Well of course my trained interrogator wife got to the bottom of things pretty quickly. Turns out Jesse's buddy Tyler has an older brother who goes to GWU. So earlier tonight during intermission at the Kennedy Center thing Tyler called up his bro, who bought the beer and left it in a suitcase for him at the hotel's front desk. All Tyler had to do was go down and claim the suitcase, wheel it up to his room, open it up, and viola! Instant party.
Too bad the beer was warm, and four buckets of ice didn't cut it. Another kid, Hank, was the Rocket Scientist who tried to lug the duffel full of ice back to the room. But that was after a couple beers apiece. Which was probably exactly what made Genius think the duffel was a good idea, ha ha.
Of course as soon as Cate told me what happened I demanded she put Jesse on the phone so I could rip him a new one. She refused, told me he was in his room and she had everything under control. And that she has all the involved parties' phones in her room, so calling Jesse on his iPhone wouldn't work either. Damned crafty woman.
Cate said Jesse was up-front with her, admitted he knew about the Beer Plan and that he had two before she busted them. He never tried to cover or lie; he just admitted he fucked up. A couple of the other boys thought they were smart and came up with crazy-ass stories which Cate very quickly picked apart, ha ha. By the time she was through with them Cate had written statements from each kid about exactly how everything went down.
But here's the thing that amazes me about my Wife: even though she had every reason in the world to be pissed off and make a big deal out of all this and try to hammer these kids, she didn't. She hasn't even told the teachers yet. The other Dad she's been hanging with is a former federal prosecutor. She called him and together they worked the issue, got the story, sent the kids into "lockdown," and decided to sit tight for tonight. They'll tell the teachers in the morning. Nothing more to be done tonight anyway.
Then they sat and had a contraband beer together, ha ha.
I don't know what kind of trouble Jesse is going to get into with the school for this little stunt. Hell, he may be expelled. One thing for damned sure, Dorothea's gonna have his ass. I should too, but I gotta admit I'm having a hard time mustering outrage at his actions. Lord knows I did way worse when I was a teenager; I was out in the parking lot drinking beer and smoking weed between classes, for fuck's sake. But I also went to public school and things were a damned lot different back then.
Fuck. Now I'm gonna have to think of some kind of punishment. And call Dorothea.
Sonofabitch.
Well, at least Jesse had his damned pants on when he got busted this time.
12:30 pm
My Room
Well THAT was fun.
Just filled my ex-Wife in on her Baby Boy's actions on the field trip. To say she's pissed is putting it mildly. VERY mildly. Jesus, I'm glad I'm on the road and don't have to deal with her face-to-face on this one. Wow.
Dorothea's certain Jesse's going to be expelled, probably for three days. Possession of alcohol by a minor, drinking during a school event. Even though he wasn't on school grounds and it wasn't during educational activities, the school has supervision/jurisdiction over the kids 24/7 while they're on the field trip. It's just like they were drinking at school.
Jess and his buddies really fucked this one up. Great.
The only saving Grace is this: there were no police involved. Thank God for Cate's and Mr. DiPalma's level heads last night; they didn't even tell the teachers what happened until they were on the bus home. They realized exactly what would happen, and it could have been much worse than it is. DiPalma pointed out that if the teachers were made aware of the legal violation by the students they would have been obligated under the terms of school liability policy and their contracts to call the police. That means the kids probably would have been arrested and booked and released, but there would have at minimum been a police report.
Guess it's good to have a lawyer around sometimes, eh? Ha ha.
Jesus, Jess dodged a bullet on this one. But I'll tell you what -- that kid's gonna pay when he gets home. I don't know how, I don't know what, I don't know when, but..... well, something. Guess D and I will have to wait and see what the school does first.
That's assuming Dorothea doesn't kill him the second he walks in the door, ha ha.
I have a feeling she'll be fine by the time Jess gets home later this afternoon, though. She'll get her mad out and put on her calm "you've disappointed me" Mom face. D's much better at that than I am. I know for sure she wants to sit down with Cate and hear the whole story.
So, speaking of Cate... this morning she told me another interesting little factoid. Something that kinda got passed over in the Beer Bust Frenzy, ha ha.
Bridget sat with Jesse at the Pops concert last night. And she let him hold her hand.
That's my Boy.
Too bad he's a Bonehead.
My Room
Well well well.... turns out it WAS a good thing Cate's on chaperone duty.
I gave her a call earlier for a little naughty talk and got her voice mail, followed by a text that said "I'll call you in a little while."
Just got off the phone with her, with no dirty-talk. Instead I got the report that my eldest son and his pals tried to pull a fast one. And they almost succeeded. If only they weren't Dumbasses who tried to bring a dripping duffel bag full of ice into their room to chill down their beer they may have gotten away with it.
Cate just confiscated a half a case of Heineken from Jesse and three other guys. And it was in his room's bathtub. "Guarded" by a couple of tipsy little blonde girls, who were thankfully fully-dressed when Cate conducted her search and seizure.
Well of course my trained interrogator wife got to the bottom of things pretty quickly. Turns out Jesse's buddy Tyler has an older brother who goes to GWU. So earlier tonight during intermission at the Kennedy Center thing Tyler called up his bro, who bought the beer and left it in a suitcase for him at the hotel's front desk. All Tyler had to do was go down and claim the suitcase, wheel it up to his room, open it up, and viola! Instant party.
Too bad the beer was warm, and four buckets of ice didn't cut it. Another kid, Hank, was the Rocket Scientist who tried to lug the duffel full of ice back to the room. But that was after a couple beers apiece. Which was probably exactly what made Genius think the duffel was a good idea, ha ha.
Of course as soon as Cate told me what happened I demanded she put Jesse on the phone so I could rip him a new one. She refused, told me he was in his room and she had everything under control. And that she has all the involved parties' phones in her room, so calling Jesse on his iPhone wouldn't work either. Damned crafty woman.
Cate said Jesse was up-front with her, admitted he knew about the Beer Plan and that he had two before she busted them. He never tried to cover or lie; he just admitted he fucked up. A couple of the other boys thought they were smart and came up with crazy-ass stories which Cate very quickly picked apart, ha ha. By the time she was through with them Cate had written statements from each kid about exactly how everything went down.
But here's the thing that amazes me about my Wife: even though she had every reason in the world to be pissed off and make a big deal out of all this and try to hammer these kids, she didn't. She hasn't even told the teachers yet. The other Dad she's been hanging with is a former federal prosecutor. She called him and together they worked the issue, got the story, sent the kids into "lockdown," and decided to sit tight for tonight. They'll tell the teachers in the morning. Nothing more to be done tonight anyway.
Then they sat and had a contraband beer together, ha ha.
I don't know what kind of trouble Jesse is going to get into with the school for this little stunt. Hell, he may be expelled. One thing for damned sure, Dorothea's gonna have his ass. I should too, but I gotta admit I'm having a hard time mustering outrage at his actions. Lord knows I did way worse when I was a teenager; I was out in the parking lot drinking beer and smoking weed between classes, for fuck's sake. But I also went to public school and things were a damned lot different back then.
Fuck. Now I'm gonna have to think of some kind of punishment. And call Dorothea.
Sonofabitch.
Well, at least Jesse had his damned pants on when he got busted this time.
12:30 pm
My Room
Well THAT was fun.
Just filled my ex-Wife in on her Baby Boy's actions on the field trip. To say she's pissed is putting it mildly. VERY mildly. Jesus, I'm glad I'm on the road and don't have to deal with her face-to-face on this one. Wow.
Dorothea's certain Jesse's going to be expelled, probably for three days. Possession of alcohol by a minor, drinking during a school event. Even though he wasn't on school grounds and it wasn't during educational activities, the school has supervision/jurisdiction over the kids 24/7 while they're on the field trip. It's just like they were drinking at school.
Jess and his buddies really fucked this one up. Great.
The only saving Grace is this: there were no police involved. Thank God for Cate's and Mr. DiPalma's level heads last night; they didn't even tell the teachers what happened until they were on the bus home. They realized exactly what would happen, and it could have been much worse than it is. DiPalma pointed out that if the teachers were made aware of the legal violation by the students they would have been obligated under the terms of school liability policy and their contracts to call the police. That means the kids probably would have been arrested and booked and released, but there would have at minimum been a police report.
Guess it's good to have a lawyer around sometimes, eh? Ha ha.
Jesus, Jess dodged a bullet on this one. But I'll tell you what -- that kid's gonna pay when he gets home. I don't know how, I don't know what, I don't know when, but..... well, something. Guess D and I will have to wait and see what the school does first.
That's assuming Dorothea doesn't kill him the second he walks in the door, ha ha.
I have a feeling she'll be fine by the time Jess gets home later this afternoon, though. She'll get her mad out and put on her calm "you've disappointed me" Mom face. D's much better at that than I am. I know for sure she wants to sit down with Cate and hear the whole story.
So, speaking of Cate... this morning she told me another interesting little factoid. Something that kinda got passed over in the Beer Bust Frenzy, ha ha.
Bridget sat with Jesse at the Pops concert last night. And she let him hold her hand.
That's my Boy.
Too bad he's a Bonehead.
Saturday, May 14
3:45 pm
Hotel
Feelin' good. It's a great fuckin' day for rock and roll! Ha ha...
Started off with a nice long workout. Then lunch with Art, a little football talk. As in how much of my money it's gonna take for me to buy a piece of the Falcons. Still working on it, but I think it's all gonna come together. Hopefully soon. That cash is burning a hole in my pocket, ha ha.
Actually got to sit around on my ass for awhile this afternoon. Laid out by the pool for about an hour and a half, just soaking up the sun and resting these tired old bones. Gotta work on my tan, nobody wants to see a pasty-white, saggy-assed old Rock Star, ha ha.
Talked to Cate while I was chilling by the pool. This morning they did the White House tour. Jess was unimpressed. I laughed--the kid has gone fucking bowling in the White House, so I didn't really expect him to be too awed by the nickel tour. Cate did score some major cool points and perk up his interest a little, though.
Turns out one of the Secret Service supervisors on duty today is an old pal of Cate's. When he saw her they immediately did what cops do, launched into that "how's so-and-so" and "did you hear about?" stuff. While the kids did the official tour Cate badged her way back into Bill's office and they set up a kinda impromptu "behind the scenes with the Secret Service" thing for the class. They all thought it was pretty awesome, especially Jess. Suddenly he has the coolest Stepmom on the planet, ha ha.
When Cate called they were at the Spy Museum, the kids were watching a film. She said Jess and a couple of his buddies have been talking her ear off at the museum, asking her about all the exhibits and what kind of "spooky spy stuff" she used to do. And she overheard Jess telling one of the girls that his Stepmom is "Kick-ass."
She got a little choked up when she told me that. She said she's never heard Jesse call her "Stepmom" before. Always just her name or "Dad's Wife." I could hear in her voice just how happy she is.
So now they're probably still at the museum, tonight they're going to see the National Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center. Cate's pretty excited about that; it's a Pops performance with Jon Secada and Tito Puente Jr. on percussion. She actually said she's looking forward to spending the evening with a couple Hot Cubanos, ha ha. Tico will get a laugh out of that.
As for me, gotta go crank out some good ol' rock and roll, Jersey Style. My contribution to the cultural arts, ha ha.
Then maybe later tonight, when the show's done and it's past curfew in DC and Cate's all alone in her hotel room and all fired up from her evening out with sexy Latin men banging around on things, I'll give her a call and croon a little "Let it Roll, Baby Roll... All Night Long."
A little private performance we can both enjoy. Heh heh.
Hotel
Feelin' good. It's a great fuckin' day for rock and roll! Ha ha...
Started off with a nice long workout. Then lunch with Art, a little football talk. As in how much of my money it's gonna take for me to buy a piece of the Falcons. Still working on it, but I think it's all gonna come together. Hopefully soon. That cash is burning a hole in my pocket, ha ha.
Actually got to sit around on my ass for awhile this afternoon. Laid out by the pool for about an hour and a half, just soaking up the sun and resting these tired old bones. Gotta work on my tan, nobody wants to see a pasty-white, saggy-assed old Rock Star, ha ha.
Talked to Cate while I was chilling by the pool. This morning they did the White House tour. Jess was unimpressed. I laughed--the kid has gone fucking bowling in the White House, so I didn't really expect him to be too awed by the nickel tour. Cate did score some major cool points and perk up his interest a little, though.
Turns out one of the Secret Service supervisors on duty today is an old pal of Cate's. When he saw her they immediately did what cops do, launched into that "how's so-and-so" and "did you hear about?" stuff. While the kids did the official tour Cate badged her way back into Bill's office and they set up a kinda impromptu "behind the scenes with the Secret Service" thing for the class. They all thought it was pretty awesome, especially Jess. Suddenly he has the coolest Stepmom on the planet, ha ha.
When Cate called they were at the Spy Museum, the kids were watching a film. She said Jess and a couple of his buddies have been talking her ear off at the museum, asking her about all the exhibits and what kind of "spooky spy stuff" she used to do. And she overheard Jess telling one of the girls that his Stepmom is "Kick-ass."
She got a little choked up when she told me that. She said she's never heard Jesse call her "Stepmom" before. Always just her name or "Dad's Wife." I could hear in her voice just how happy she is.
So now they're probably still at the museum, tonight they're going to see the National Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center. Cate's pretty excited about that; it's a Pops performance with Jon Secada and Tito Puente Jr. on percussion. She actually said she's looking forward to spending the evening with a couple Hot Cubanos, ha ha. Tico will get a laugh out of that.
As for me, gotta go crank out some good ol' rock and roll, Jersey Style. My contribution to the cultural arts, ha ha.
Then maybe later tonight, when the show's done and it's past curfew in DC and Cate's all alone in her hotel room and all fired up from her evening out with sexy Latin men banging around on things, I'll give her a call and croon a little "Let it Roll, Baby Roll... All Night Long."
A little private performance we can both enjoy. Heh heh.
Friday, May 13
9:10 am
Hotel
Waking up in Atlanta. Seems like I just went to sleep.
Great show last night, had a lot of fun. In Iowa, ha ha. Not that I'm surprised -- we haven't been there in a long time and Midwestern crowds are always welcoming and enthusiastic.
But it ain't Heaven -- It's Iowa.
The last couple shows have seemed to flow so good, everything's coming easy. Don't know why, but not gonna complain. Still feels a little empty up there on stage without Richie, but X is doing a great job. His energy is keeping everybody Up. Especially me.
No day off for me today, got the Listening Session thing with Mike today. I'm really looking forward to it; these kids I've gotten to meet are truly inspiring. They're so open and frank, not at all awed by the fact there are a bunch of famous faces in the room.
It's humbling for me, and a refreshing change from the constant starry-eyed/suck up vibe that goes on when I'm doing stuff related to my Day Job -- Fan Club things, meet and greets, whatever. I get it that people want to be near me and can get overcome with their minute in the spotlight, but after awhile it just wears on me. I ain't that great, people. But it's part of the job, so I grin and bear it.
This community stuff, on the other hand, is my passion. Hopefully I'm somehow helping out by doing these things, even if all I can do is point a camera at a program or a mission or a kid with an inspiring story.
Speaking of kids... talked to Jess a few minutes ago. He was on his way to Capitol Hill for a tour and to meet the NY Congressional delegation. He sounded barely awake, guess 9:00 am is too early for him to be coherent when he's "on vacation," ha ha. I told him to pay attention and learn something and he said "whatever."
Apparently he did have a good time last night, though. He said he liked the monument tour. Even though Jesse's been to DC a couple dozen times he's never really seen all the monuments, and the tour guide told them all the history and trivia about each one. He said it was "pretty cool," especially the World War II Memorial.
Cate was enjoying herself too. She was sending me photos of the different monuments with dirty comments about what we were doing last time we saw each one. I came off stage and had this big list of texts from her, starting off with a photo of the Washington Monument that said "Baby, I thought you were in Iowa?" Heh heh. Naughty Minx.
And that may have been a bit of an exaggeration. I may be Superman but I ain't exactly 555 feet high and made of marble, ha ha. Though thinking of my naked Wife can make me feel like it, heh heh.
As for the chaperoning duties, when I talked to Cate last night she said everything was going fine. Jesse's been pretty laid back, not being goofy or stupid like some of the other kids. Apparently he's watching Bridget's every move; she's pretending not to pay attention to him. Cate was chuckling about that -- with her people-reading skills she can tell Bridget is very aware of where Jesse is and that he's watching her. The little Tease. Will be interesting to see what happens.
Alright -- gotta get my ass moving, car is gonna be here in about 45 minutes. Workout will have to wait until this afternoon.
7:20 pm
My Room
Killing a few minutes before heading out for dinner.
Great day today; met some pretty amazing people. I really think my Foundation can partner up with a couple of the organizations down here and expand upon what the folks have started. I called Mimi right after the Session was over and told her to find out what we can do.
She laughed and said I get excited about every program and every town, but she's glad to do it.
She's right, I do. There are so many great programs out there to help kids and families... I always want to stick my finger in every pie. And I can't. That's why I have Mimi running the show. She slaps my hand when she has to, reminds me we can't be everywhere and do everything, rock star ego or not.
Yet another woman in my life who keeps me straight, ha ha.
So I've been getting the reports from the Field Trip all day... things are going good. I think Cate may be having even more fun than Jess. They did the Capitol and Supreme Court, then back to the hotel for a couple free hours to shop/chill out/have dinner before they head out to Arlington Cemetery tonight. Cate and one of the Dads went with Jess and a bunch of kids to Five Guys burgers. Jess is happy, ha ha. He loves that place.
Man, I wish I could have gone. I'm seriously craving a cheeseburger right now.
When I talked to Cate earlier she was so cute. She said she feels like giggling every time one of the kids calls her "Mrs. B." She's not quite used to that, or to playing Momma. She's always done volunteer work with kids, through Law Enforcement Explorers and stuff like that, so hanging with teens comes easy for her. But she's never done it quite like this -- as one of the parents.
She said it feels good. That just makes me smile.
Tonight at Arlington she's gonna talk to the kids a little about military service. I guess a couple of the kids are going to lay a wreath on a monument out there or something; not the Tomb of the Unknown but somewhere else. Jesse's teacher asked Cate if she'd give her perspective and she gladly said yes.
I'm so proud of her, I hope those kids realize just how special Cate is once they hear her story. I have a feeling they will. She'll probably get major cool points when they find out what she did in the military, ha ha. Way more than I'd get if I was there.
That's my Girl. Cool Momma Cate, ha ha.
Hotel
Waking up in Atlanta. Seems like I just went to sleep.
Great show last night, had a lot of fun. In Iowa, ha ha. Not that I'm surprised -- we haven't been there in a long time and Midwestern crowds are always welcoming and enthusiastic.
But it ain't Heaven -- It's Iowa.
The last couple shows have seemed to flow so good, everything's coming easy. Don't know why, but not gonna complain. Still feels a little empty up there on stage without Richie, but X is doing a great job. His energy is keeping everybody Up. Especially me.
No day off for me today, got the Listening Session thing with Mike today. I'm really looking forward to it; these kids I've gotten to meet are truly inspiring. They're so open and frank, not at all awed by the fact there are a bunch of famous faces in the room.
It's humbling for me, and a refreshing change from the constant starry-eyed/suck up vibe that goes on when I'm doing stuff related to my Day Job -- Fan Club things, meet and greets, whatever. I get it that people want to be near me and can get overcome with their minute in the spotlight, but after awhile it just wears on me. I ain't that great, people. But it's part of the job, so I grin and bear it.
This community stuff, on the other hand, is my passion. Hopefully I'm somehow helping out by doing these things, even if all I can do is point a camera at a program or a mission or a kid with an inspiring story.
Speaking of kids... talked to Jess a few minutes ago. He was on his way to Capitol Hill for a tour and to meet the NY Congressional delegation. He sounded barely awake, guess 9:00 am is too early for him to be coherent when he's "on vacation," ha ha. I told him to pay attention and learn something and he said "whatever."
Apparently he did have a good time last night, though. He said he liked the monument tour. Even though Jesse's been to DC a couple dozen times he's never really seen all the monuments, and the tour guide told them all the history and trivia about each one. He said it was "pretty cool," especially the World War II Memorial.
Cate was enjoying herself too. She was sending me photos of the different monuments with dirty comments about what we were doing last time we saw each one. I came off stage and had this big list of texts from her, starting off with a photo of the Washington Monument that said "Baby, I thought you were in Iowa?" Heh heh. Naughty Minx.
And that may have been a bit of an exaggeration. I may be Superman but I ain't exactly 555 feet high and made of marble, ha ha. Though thinking of my naked Wife can make me feel like it, heh heh.
As for the chaperoning duties, when I talked to Cate last night she said everything was going fine. Jesse's been pretty laid back, not being goofy or stupid like some of the other kids. Apparently he's watching Bridget's every move; she's pretending not to pay attention to him. Cate was chuckling about that -- with her people-reading skills she can tell Bridget is very aware of where Jesse is and that he's watching her. The little Tease. Will be interesting to see what happens.
Alright -- gotta get my ass moving, car is gonna be here in about 45 minutes. Workout will have to wait until this afternoon.
7:20 pm
My Room
Killing a few minutes before heading out for dinner.
Great day today; met some pretty amazing people. I really think my Foundation can partner up with a couple of the organizations down here and expand upon what the folks have started. I called Mimi right after the Session was over and told her to find out what we can do.
She laughed and said I get excited about every program and every town, but she's glad to do it.
She's right, I do. There are so many great programs out there to help kids and families... I always want to stick my finger in every pie. And I can't. That's why I have Mimi running the show. She slaps my hand when she has to, reminds me we can't be everywhere and do everything, rock star ego or not.
Yet another woman in my life who keeps me straight, ha ha.
So I've been getting the reports from the Field Trip all day... things are going good. I think Cate may be having even more fun than Jess. They did the Capitol and Supreme Court, then back to the hotel for a couple free hours to shop/chill out/have dinner before they head out to Arlington Cemetery tonight. Cate and one of the Dads went with Jess and a bunch of kids to Five Guys burgers. Jess is happy, ha ha. He loves that place.
Man, I wish I could have gone. I'm seriously craving a cheeseburger right now.
When I talked to Cate earlier she was so cute. She said she feels like giggling every time one of the kids calls her "Mrs. B." She's not quite used to that, or to playing Momma. She's always done volunteer work with kids, through Law Enforcement Explorers and stuff like that, so hanging with teens comes easy for her. But she's never done it quite like this -- as one of the parents.
She said it feels good. That just makes me smile.
Tonight at Arlington she's gonna talk to the kids a little about military service. I guess a couple of the kids are going to lay a wreath on a monument out there or something; not the Tomb of the Unknown but somewhere else. Jesse's teacher asked Cate if she'd give her perspective and she gladly said yes.
I'm so proud of her, I hope those kids realize just how special Cate is once they hear her story. I have a feeling they will. She'll probably get major cool points when they find out what she did in the military, ha ha. Way more than I'd get if I was there.
That's my Girl. Cool Momma Cate, ha ha.
Thursday, May 12
10:15 am
Car to Airport
Heading for the jet. The rest of the Boys are swinging by to pick up me and Matty and X on the way to Des Moines. I should stand out on the tarmac with my thumb out, hitching a ride on my own jet, ha ha.
Iowa. Haven't been there in awhile. Every time I think of Iowa I hear that line from Field of Dreams in my head, where Shoeless Joe has just appeared on the baseball field and met Ray, and he's about to go back into the corn. "Is this Heaven?" "No, it's Iowa."
I still snicker at that line.
But off to Iowa I go.
Had such a great day off with my Cate. Shame we didn't get to spend a little more time together, but considering it was a last-minute thing we did alright. She pushed her flight to spend more time with me, then Mother Nature did us another favor by unleashing that hellacious thunderstorm, which delayed her flight another two hours.
We got to hang out in the VIP lounge at O'Hare for awhile, hide back in a dark corner with a privacy screen and enjoy the light show outside. That was some big-ass lightning, let me tell ya. We were watching the Cubs game when it rolled in; looked scary. Glad I wasn't at Wrigley. Though Cate would have loved to have been, ha ha.
It was almost 10 pm when Cate's plane finally got off the ground; it was after 1 am when she finally called to tell me she was home. That's gonna make for a damned long day for her today. I talked to her this morning when she was on her way to pick up Jess, and she's been texting me from the bus.
Can I just say how much I love that my Wife is chaperoning her Stepson's field trip? And that she's excited about it?
Well, turns out it's a good thing she's going along. Dorothea and I were both just a little concerned about turning Jess loose with an unsuspecting chaperone in a hotel with a bunch of cute girls. Well guess what, it ain't just "cute girls" that are gonna steal his attention from learning and experiencing our government. It's Cute Girl in particular. Bridget's on the trip.
I thought this was a field trip for Jesse's grade. Shows how much I know. He's in Honors Government class, along with upperclassmen. Including the object of his affection. I wonder if that's how he got to know her, besides her being a friend of Steph's? How funny that would be -- kinda like me and Dorothea. We had class together, she was dating another guy but she was cool and friendly and let me cheat off her.
Jess better not be cheating. Off anybody. Especially a cute girl. I pay too damned much for that school -- he better be learning on his own.
Anyway, Cate's on the job. And she's the perfect person for it. Not only is she a trained surveillant and interrogator, she's kind of a neutral party. She knows the backstory, but there's not the blood-parent emotional tangles D and I have with this issue. And if I know my Wife, she'll be cool about things but will let Jess know in no uncertain terms he's not gonna get away with Shit.
Of course I told her I expect hourly updates, ha ha.
So anyway, after I put Cate on her plane last night Matty and I hit the town. We ended up catching up with X and his buddies at Kingston Mines and listened to some smokin' Blues sets. It was great to chill; X made me laugh. He's just a big ball of energy, always bouncing around and grinning and drumming his fingers against the table. You could tell he was itching to get up and play.
He reminds me a lot of Richie that way. Richie can't sit still either, when he's listening to live music. In his mind he's pulling apart the melodies and riffs and chords, and his fingers are playing along. He loves to get up and jam. Can't wait until he's back jamming with us.
I miss him, but I'm glad he's doing good. Heather and Ava talked to him Sunday, since it was Mother's Day he got to make a few calls out. Of course he called Momma Joan too. Heather texted me to pass on his "doin' good" message and to say he wished Jakey Happy Birthday. He'll be back soon, he said.
Anyway, it was Boys' night out last night and it was a good time. We didn't really get noticed or bothered, just hung out and drank beer and smoked (yeah, I admit it, I cheated) and talked. I realized about a pitcher in that Matt and I haven't really done that in a long, long time, just talked as brothers. Not as boss-employee or Security Guy and PITA Diva Rock Star, but as Brothers.
When X and his crew went over to talk to some guys they knew at another table I let Matty in on the big secret, that Cate and I are working on starting a family. He looked stunned, then he gave me a big grin and told me that's great. The next words out of his mouth made me laugh, and made me know for sure we're blood -- "Christ, you haven't told Mom, have you?"
I told him no, that Dorothea and the kids and Richie and Johnny all know, but that's pretty much it. I haven't even told Tony. Matty just kinda nodded and grinned a little more, then shook his head. Then he told me "Ya know, if you knocked her up last night, I get dibs on being the Godfather since I got your Horny Ass here for a damned Booty Call."
Yep, he's my brother all right.
I laughed and told him it's a deal. I'm pretty sure Cate won't mind.
So we closed down the club and took a cab back to the hotel and crashed until the wake-up call came. A quick run at the gym, shit, shower, and shave... and here we are. Winging our way off to the airport to catch back up with the Circus.
Yep, it was a damned good day off. Now it's back to work.
In Iowa.
2:45 pm
Venue
Hanging out backstage, waiting for soundcheck. Got a couple press things to do in a few minutes.
So Jesse and Cate made it to DC. Checking into the hotel now. Apparently they're staying at the Hilton by Lafayette Square. Cate says it's nice. Jess says it's a Hole.
Apparently a matter of perspective. Cate still oohs and aahs over my suites at the Four Seasons and the Ritz, ha ha. I guess when you have spent your life traveling on the government dime and staying in Holiday Inns the Ritz is a palace. Or especially compared to living in tents or bunkers, like she did when she was in the military.
Yeah. That would make the Hilton look like the Plaza.
Anyway, Cate has things well in hand. She used her "skills" to be sure she has the room right across the hall from Jess and his buddies. She can make good use of that peephole, ha ha. Bridget's a couple doors down from her, so that's good. Apparently whoever set up the rooms for this trip did have half a brain; all the girls are on one side of the hall in adjoining rooms, the boys are on the other side. No connecting doors to sneak through. That's assuming the girls and boys stay on their own sides of the hall, anyway. Which I don't think is too fucking likely.
They're going out to dinner tonight at some Japanese place, then taking one of the monuments-by night tours.
Bet Jesse's tour won't be nearly as fun as my last monuments-by-night tour, heh heh. When I was naked in the back of a limo with Cate. Her little surprise for me.
That was a good one.
But God knows if Jess could figure out how to pull that off he would, ha ha.
Tomorrow the class is up on the Hill, then the Supreme Court. Tomorrow night they're going to some kind of sunset ceremony at Arlington Cemetery. White House and Spy Museum Saturday, Kennedy Center Saturday night. They come home Sunday. They're keeping the kids pretty busy, not much time for them to get in trouble.
But where there's a will there's a way... Ha ha.
Wish I could have gone. I miss entirely too many of these things. Don't really see myself chaperoning many of these field trips for Bongiovi-to-Be, considering I'll be... what? Late 60s when she's in High School?
Jesus. That really puts things in perspective. My kid will probably be the only one in her high school class with a 60-some year old Daddy. Especially one who dances around shaking his ass every night, ha ha.
But one thing about it -- I'll be there for everything else this time. Every step, every milestone, every birthday and Christmas and first-whatever. Hell, maybe I'll just retire and play Mr. Mom.
But not today. Gotta go charm some reporters.
"Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa." Ha ha.
Nah. Heaven's in Jersey.
Car to Airport
Heading for the jet. The rest of the Boys are swinging by to pick up me and Matty and X on the way to Des Moines. I should stand out on the tarmac with my thumb out, hitching a ride on my own jet, ha ha.
Iowa. Haven't been there in awhile. Every time I think of Iowa I hear that line from Field of Dreams in my head, where Shoeless Joe has just appeared on the baseball field and met Ray, and he's about to go back into the corn. "Is this Heaven?" "No, it's Iowa."
I still snicker at that line.
But off to Iowa I go.
Had such a great day off with my Cate. Shame we didn't get to spend a little more time together, but considering it was a last-minute thing we did alright. She pushed her flight to spend more time with me, then Mother Nature did us another favor by unleashing that hellacious thunderstorm, which delayed her flight another two hours.
We got to hang out in the VIP lounge at O'Hare for awhile, hide back in a dark corner with a privacy screen and enjoy the light show outside. That was some big-ass lightning, let me tell ya. We were watching the Cubs game when it rolled in; looked scary. Glad I wasn't at Wrigley. Though Cate would have loved to have been, ha ha.
It was almost 10 pm when Cate's plane finally got off the ground; it was after 1 am when she finally called to tell me she was home. That's gonna make for a damned long day for her today. I talked to her this morning when she was on her way to pick up Jess, and she's been texting me from the bus.
Can I just say how much I love that my Wife is chaperoning her Stepson's field trip? And that she's excited about it?
Well, turns out it's a good thing she's going along. Dorothea and I were both just a little concerned about turning Jess loose with an unsuspecting chaperone in a hotel with a bunch of cute girls. Well guess what, it ain't just "cute girls" that are gonna steal his attention from learning and experiencing our government. It's Cute Girl in particular. Bridget's on the trip.
I thought this was a field trip for Jesse's grade. Shows how much I know. He's in Honors Government class, along with upperclassmen. Including the object of his affection. I wonder if that's how he got to know her, besides her being a friend of Steph's? How funny that would be -- kinda like me and Dorothea. We had class together, she was dating another guy but she was cool and friendly and let me cheat off her.
Jess better not be cheating. Off anybody. Especially a cute girl. I pay too damned much for that school -- he better be learning on his own.
Anyway, Cate's on the job. And she's the perfect person for it. Not only is she a trained surveillant and interrogator, she's kind of a neutral party. She knows the backstory, but there's not the blood-parent emotional tangles D and I have with this issue. And if I know my Wife, she'll be cool about things but will let Jess know in no uncertain terms he's not gonna get away with Shit.
Of course I told her I expect hourly updates, ha ha.
So anyway, after I put Cate on her plane last night Matty and I hit the town. We ended up catching up with X and his buddies at Kingston Mines and listened to some smokin' Blues sets. It was great to chill; X made me laugh. He's just a big ball of energy, always bouncing around and grinning and drumming his fingers against the table. You could tell he was itching to get up and play.
He reminds me a lot of Richie that way. Richie can't sit still either, when he's listening to live music. In his mind he's pulling apart the melodies and riffs and chords, and his fingers are playing along. He loves to get up and jam. Can't wait until he's back jamming with us.
I miss him, but I'm glad he's doing good. Heather and Ava talked to him Sunday, since it was Mother's Day he got to make a few calls out. Of course he called Momma Joan too. Heather texted me to pass on his "doin' good" message and to say he wished Jakey Happy Birthday. He'll be back soon, he said.
Anyway, it was Boys' night out last night and it was a good time. We didn't really get noticed or bothered, just hung out and drank beer and smoked (yeah, I admit it, I cheated) and talked. I realized about a pitcher in that Matt and I haven't really done that in a long, long time, just talked as brothers. Not as boss-employee or Security Guy and PITA Diva Rock Star, but as Brothers.
When X and his crew went over to talk to some guys they knew at another table I let Matty in on the big secret, that Cate and I are working on starting a family. He looked stunned, then he gave me a big grin and told me that's great. The next words out of his mouth made me laugh, and made me know for sure we're blood -- "Christ, you haven't told Mom, have you?"
I told him no, that Dorothea and the kids and Richie and Johnny all know, but that's pretty much it. I haven't even told Tony. Matty just kinda nodded and grinned a little more, then shook his head. Then he told me "Ya know, if you knocked her up last night, I get dibs on being the Godfather since I got your Horny Ass here for a damned Booty Call."
Yep, he's my brother all right.
I laughed and told him it's a deal. I'm pretty sure Cate won't mind.
So we closed down the club and took a cab back to the hotel and crashed until the wake-up call came. A quick run at the gym, shit, shower, and shave... and here we are. Winging our way off to the airport to catch back up with the Circus.
Yep, it was a damned good day off. Now it's back to work.
In Iowa.
2:45 pm
Venue
Hanging out backstage, waiting for soundcheck. Got a couple press things to do in a few minutes.
So Jesse and Cate made it to DC. Checking into the hotel now. Apparently they're staying at the Hilton by Lafayette Square. Cate says it's nice. Jess says it's a Hole.
Apparently a matter of perspective. Cate still oohs and aahs over my suites at the Four Seasons and the Ritz, ha ha. I guess when you have spent your life traveling on the government dime and staying in Holiday Inns the Ritz is a palace. Or especially compared to living in tents or bunkers, like she did when she was in the military.
Yeah. That would make the Hilton look like the Plaza.
Anyway, Cate has things well in hand. She used her "skills" to be sure she has the room right across the hall from Jess and his buddies. She can make good use of that peephole, ha ha. Bridget's a couple doors down from her, so that's good. Apparently whoever set up the rooms for this trip did have half a brain; all the girls are on one side of the hall in adjoining rooms, the boys are on the other side. No connecting doors to sneak through. That's assuming the girls and boys stay on their own sides of the hall, anyway. Which I don't think is too fucking likely.
They're going out to dinner tonight at some Japanese place, then taking one of the monuments-by night tours.
Bet Jesse's tour won't be nearly as fun as my last monuments-by-night tour, heh heh. When I was naked in the back of a limo with Cate. Her little surprise for me.
That was a good one.
But God knows if Jess could figure out how to pull that off he would, ha ha.
Tomorrow the class is up on the Hill, then the Supreme Court. Tomorrow night they're going to some kind of sunset ceremony at Arlington Cemetery. White House and Spy Museum Saturday, Kennedy Center Saturday night. They come home Sunday. They're keeping the kids pretty busy, not much time for them to get in trouble.
But where there's a will there's a way... Ha ha.
Wish I could have gone. I miss entirely too many of these things. Don't really see myself chaperoning many of these field trips for Bongiovi-to-Be, considering I'll be... what? Late 60s when she's in High School?
Jesus. That really puts things in perspective. My kid will probably be the only one in her high school class with a 60-some year old Daddy. Especially one who dances around shaking his ass every night, ha ha.
But one thing about it -- I'll be there for everything else this time. Every step, every milestone, every birthday and Christmas and first-whatever. Hell, maybe I'll just retire and play Mr. Mom.
But not today. Gotta go charm some reporters.
"Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa." Ha ha.
Nah. Heaven's in Jersey.
Wednesday, May 11
11:45 am
Cate’s Room
This is why Matty hates me. Last-minute shit like this that throws his security plans into a tailspin.
Well, there are probably other reasons too, ha ha.
Told him right before I went onstage last night to get me a train ticket to Chicago. Cate ain’t the only one who can pull off surprise hotel-room booty calls, ha ha.
He looked like he wanted to punch me in the mouth. He hated that idea. He’s not about to let me out of his sight, let alone cross state lines all by myself when we’re between shows. So he had to come with me.
X overheard my travel plans and asked if he could hitch along too, to visit some pals. I said sure, the more the merrier. I told Matty to get 3 tickets and charge it to my card. After all, it was personal business, not company. Very personal. Ha ha.
Yeah, sometimes it sucks to be the Chief of Security. And my little brother.
But he did it. Got us booked on the midnight Acela. Rolled into Chicago in the dead of night, caught a cab to Cate’s hotel. X took off to wherever he was going, said he’ll catch up with us at the hotel tomorrow.
Cate was surprised, to say the least. And delighted. Though she sounded a little pissed when she picked up the phone at 2 am. But she quickly forgave me for waking her when I told her to open the door.
She didn’t want to go back to sleep, either. Heh heh. Not that I was gonna let her.
Talk about One Wild Night. That woman has stamina. I tested out her allegation too, that me singing Roadhouse makes her hot. Turns out it does. She don’t lie, my Wife. Heh heh.
Unfortunately she had a 9 am meeting with some government lawyers, so I had to let her get at least a little sleep. She’s not on vampire time like me. This morning she tried to sneak out of bed without waking me up, but no such luck. Superman heard her in the shower and was wide awake.
When she finally dashed out of the room a half-hour late I went back to sleep for a couple hours then got up and hit the gym. Then I ordered up brunch. Cate was supposed to check out today but she called and extended her reservation for a day so I wasn’t bothered.
It’s fun sneaking around undercover. Though a Dude in the gym recognized me. At least it wasn’t a chick. So far as I know I’m still flying under the radar.
I probably should find Matt and tell him the plan for this afternoon. Cate’s coming back when her meeting’s over and we’re gonna go shopping and out to dinner. She’s catching a later flight out of O’Hare so we can spend a little time together.
I wish she didn’t have to go home but she’s gotta be there to catch the bus for Jesse’s field trip tomorrow. Busy woman, my Cate.
As for me… I got a whole evening with nothin’ much to do. Have to see who’s in town, maybe catch a show or something. Maybe hit the clubs. Hang with Matt.
Bet he’ll love that, ha ha.
Tuesday, May 10
6:35 am
Kitchen
Just put my Girl in a cab for the airport.
I miss her already.
Cate and I had a wonderful night together last night, at the Gala. We go to at least a hundred of these things a year. Usually it's mostly the same crowd, the same routine, the same wine, same chicken or beef or fish on the plate. Sometimes I get up and play, sometimes I don't.
But last night was just special, for some reason. We just felt so connected, Cate and I. I couldn't stop looking at her, she couldn't stop smiling at me. We held hands under the table most of the night. And when I sang, it was to her.
She looked lovely. That purply-blue dress I like so much, the simple little necklace I bought her from Tiffany, those purple suede pumps from our Christmas at Kenneth Cole. My wife was the most beautiful woman in the room. I saw the way the other men looked at her. And I was damned proud she was there with me.
Cate said I looked pretty good too. She called me "debonair." I teased her and said she meant "old," and she just gave me the most adoring look and corrected me. "No, handsome," she said, so softly and lovingly. I just had to kiss her.
After the Gala we ducked out as soon as we could and caught the train home. We couldn't help ourselves; stood out on the platform, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing kisses and whispers. It was like some old Bogey and Bacall movie. All we needed was mist swirling around us.
On the train we shared some wine and snuggled together and talked. About the weekend, the kids, what's going on in our lives. But mostly about us, our marriage, our future. And when we got home we made love and held each other and shared whispered dreams about Little Bongiovis.
Now I'm more ready than ever to get this damned tour over with and get home to my family. To my Wife. To my Life.
But first there are commitments to be honored and a crew with families to feed and, in Cate's case, bad guys to be chased and caught. Then it will be time for us. Just us.
I hated saying goodbye to her this morning. And I'm gonna hate getting on my plane this afternoon. It will be two long and lonely weeks until I see her again.
Until then I have her perfumed scarf in my suitcase and her voice on my iPhone. And tender memories of last night to make me smile.
6:45 pm
Dressing Room
My Wife is a tease. Totally tried to distract me all through soundcheck. Not that I had much to check, was just mostly watching the band. And reading her texts. Minx.
She's in Chicago, waiting on some cop-friends to go to dinner. I'm only a couple hours away from her. Dammit, wish I could go with her. Think anybody'd notice? Ha ha.
So my saucy wife told me she was watching YouTubes of the Nassau show on her phone while she's waiting. She found one of us doing the jukebox medley, where apparently there is a lot of attention paid to my.... Assets, as she said. Like that's a fucking suprise.
But she said she rather appreciated it. And that it makes her hot when I sing Roadhouse. And wet. And horny.
Dammit, the woman is trying to kill me.
How the Hell am I supposed to do that song now? All I'll be doing is picturing her naked. And smirking.
Maybe I'll do it 22 times in a row. Heh heh.
She said to call her after the show, when I'm alone.
Damned straight I will.
11:40 pm
Suite
Let it Roll, Baby Roll.... Let it Roll..... All Night Long.
Heh heh heh.
Kitchen
Just put my Girl in a cab for the airport.
I miss her already.
Cate and I had a wonderful night together last night, at the Gala. We go to at least a hundred of these things a year. Usually it's mostly the same crowd, the same routine, the same wine, same chicken or beef or fish on the plate. Sometimes I get up and play, sometimes I don't.
But last night was just special, for some reason. We just felt so connected, Cate and I. I couldn't stop looking at her, she couldn't stop smiling at me. We held hands under the table most of the night. And when I sang, it was to her.
She looked lovely. That purply-blue dress I like so much, the simple little necklace I bought her from Tiffany, those purple suede pumps from our Christmas at Kenneth Cole. My wife was the most beautiful woman in the room. I saw the way the other men looked at her. And I was damned proud she was there with me.
Cate said I looked pretty good too. She called me "debonair." I teased her and said she meant "old," and she just gave me the most adoring look and corrected me. "No, handsome," she said, so softly and lovingly. I just had to kiss her.
After the Gala we ducked out as soon as we could and caught the train home. We couldn't help ourselves; stood out on the platform, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing kisses and whispers. It was like some old Bogey and Bacall movie. All we needed was mist swirling around us.
On the train we shared some wine and snuggled together and talked. About the weekend, the kids, what's going on in our lives. But mostly about us, our marriage, our future. And when we got home we made love and held each other and shared whispered dreams about Little Bongiovis.
Now I'm more ready than ever to get this damned tour over with and get home to my family. To my Wife. To my Life.
But first there are commitments to be honored and a crew with families to feed and, in Cate's case, bad guys to be chased and caught. Then it will be time for us. Just us.
I hated saying goodbye to her this morning. And I'm gonna hate getting on my plane this afternoon. It will be two long and lonely weeks until I see her again.
Until then I have her perfumed scarf in my suitcase and her voice on my iPhone. And tender memories of last night to make me smile.
6:45 pm
Dressing Room
My Wife is a tease. Totally tried to distract me all through soundcheck. Not that I had much to check, was just mostly watching the band. And reading her texts. Minx.
She's in Chicago, waiting on some cop-friends to go to dinner. I'm only a couple hours away from her. Dammit, wish I could go with her. Think anybody'd notice? Ha ha.
So my saucy wife told me she was watching YouTubes of the Nassau show on her phone while she's waiting. She found one of us doing the jukebox medley, where apparently there is a lot of attention paid to my.... Assets, as she said. Like that's a fucking suprise.
But she said she rather appreciated it. And that it makes her hot when I sing Roadhouse. And wet. And horny.
Dammit, the woman is trying to kill me.
How the Hell am I supposed to do that song now? All I'll be doing is picturing her naked. And smirking.
Maybe I'll do it 22 times in a row. Heh heh.
She said to call her after the show, when I'm alone.
Damned straight I will.
11:40 pm
Suite
Let it Roll, Baby Roll.... Let it Roll..... All Night Long.
Heh heh heh.
Monday, May 9
11:00 am
My Office
Paperwork sucks.
But at least it's quiet here. After the mayhem of this weekend it's nice.
I'm almost recovered from yesterday. What started out as a nice, quiet Mother's Day Sunday in the Hamptons quickly turned into a three-ring circus. But it was a great party. Jakey had an absolute blast. And I didn't even have to wear a costume, ha ha.
Dorothea really outdid herself this time. Actors dressed up as the Justice League (including a pretty hot Wonder Woman, ha ha), capes and costumes for all the kids, a motion-simulator ride thingie, a huge LED screen showing the classic cartoons, and even a save-the-world scavenger hunt around the neighborhood. They had actors pretending to be villains at different spots around town, and the kids got driven around in this open-air bus kinda thing to thwart each crime. It was great. Funny as hell, too.
And the biggest damned bounce-house I've ever seen in my life was in the backyard. After all the kids went home Cate and I got in there with Jake and Romey and bounced around. Haven't done that in years. It was fun. I actually considered paying the party company to leave it up overnight and come back to get it today, so Cate and I could use it after everybody left, heh heh. A little naked bouncing.
But alas, we had to come back to the City last night too. Damned grown-up responsibilities, ha ha.
Anyway, Jakey made out like a bandit with his birthday loot. More toys and shit than he'll ever have time to play with. And that was just from family -- D asked all the kids attending to bring unwrapped toys to donate to kids' charities. She and Jake are gonna give them to Sister Mary later this week, when D goes out for a meeting about the Kitchen.
Jakey's pretty excited about it -- he sees Steph and Jess helping out at the Kitchen with us, so this is his own special way of pitching in. And when I get back from the road Romeo and I are gonna collect donations for the animal shelter, that he can take over and give to them. I love that all my kids want to be involved with the philanthropy thing. It's important to Dorothea and me that they understand, with all the opportunities and privileges they enjoy, that there are others that need help and that they can make a difference in somebody's life.
Yeah, we have great kids.
We'll see how great Dorothea thinks Jakey is in the next few days. Turns out I was right about his gift from Uncle Mookie. Dorothea's expression when she saw it was priceless. I even heard her mutter "Goddamn Sambora" under her breath, though she was smiling.
Richie had one of his signature Strats custom-made for Jake, and it came with a big-ass Marshall amp. I think it's the biggest portable they make, Jake can hardly lift it. The guitar is just cool as hell, bright blue with comic-book art and a big Superman shield on the body. Jake's name is painted on the back. There are even stars and POW!s and BAM!s painted up the neck, on the frets. It's something else.
Of course I had to help Jake set it up and plug it in. I helped him play a few chords, then he let all the other kids take turns playing Guitar Superhero. It was fucking hilarious, and somewhat painful for us spectators. The feedback actually drove Mom indoors. That's one way to get her out of my hair, ha ha.
Dorothea told me I'm paying to have Jake's room soundproofed. I told her whatever, send me the bill.
That was a really special gift Richie sent my Boy. I just wish he was here to give it to him in person. Can't wait until he can sit down with Jake and show him a few things and they can jam together. Richie's always had a soft spot for Jakey; kinda like he's the son Richie never had and probably never will. He's close to all of my Boys, but there's something about Jake. I think that Kid got the genetic good-luck-horseshoe in the ass from me.
Anyway, I waited until after the party to give Jake my present. It's something special, something I didn't want the other kids to see. Didn't want them (or Jake) to think he's some kind of spoiled rich kid. But I admit, I did spoil him a little bit, over his mother's objection.
And it was totally worth it, his wide eyes and big grin and the huge hug he gave me when he saw that bright red go-kart. He thought it was a dune buggy at first -- I guess it does kinda look like one -- but I explained what it was and that it's kid-sized, made just for him.
Well of course he wanted to drive it right away. I made him wait until he got the safety lecture (which I don't think he heard a word of), then we put on helmets and climbed in. And it wasn't easy to shove my lard ass into that kid-sized seat, either. I showed Jake how to start it up and use the pedal and brake, then we took it for a slow spin around the back yard, until he got the hang of things. Once I was sure he knew what he was doing we strapped Romeo in and let him ride too.
Then Jake and I took the kart out on the beach. That's when I knew he was my Kid for sure -- he opened that thing up as fast as it would go and we took off streaking down the sand, ha ha. Had to rein him in. Then we tore around the beach for awhile, just Jake and me. He even let me drive a little, I did some donuts and we climbed over some little dunes and spun wheels and fun stuff.
It was special. Just watching his excitement, seeing him grin.... I had tears in my eyes behind my shades. I miss him so damned much when I'm gone. And I miss living with him. I love all my kids more than my own life, but Jakey's always gonna be special. He's the most like me, I see myself in him with every movement and word and expression.
I really wanted to get him a dirt bike like I had when I was a kid, but after I did a little research I learned there are now laws that prohibit purchase of a motorized bike for use by a kid under age 12. Stupid laws. When I was a kid every 9-year-old had a dirt bike, and we usually built or modified 'em ourselves as we got older. And we all lived to tell about it.
Okay, so some of that may be due to dumb luck, ha ha.
But when I couldn't get the bike Obie suggested the kart. He knows the guy, called him up and had it set up in about 5 minutes flat. And it was a great call. Jakey absolutely loves it. He'll get to use it all summer out here; I told Dorothea she's free to use the house as much as she wants while I'm in Europe. And of course we'll be out here the whole month of August as usual. That's a lot of go-kart time, ha ha.
Jake wanted to take it back to the City, drive it in the Park, ha ha. Yeah, that's gonna work. I actually had to explain to him why you can't have a go-kart in New York City. He looked puzzled.
Yep, he's my Boy for sure.
So, after a long day we finally got everything taken down and put away and cleaned up and all the guests made their departures, back to the City and off to Jersey. The kids have school today so everybody had to get home early. Cate and I thought about staying out in the Hamptons house overnight but finally decided to come back late. Probably wise. We both have crazy weeks coming up.
She's teleworking again today and is leaving for Chicago early tomorrow morning. Just a quick 2-day trip to meet with some government lawyers, she'll be home Wednesday Night. Then she turns around and gets on a bus with Jess and his class Thursday morning, to go to DC for his school trip. They'll be there through the weekend, come back Sunday night.
I was hoping Cate would come meet me in Florida for the show and a little beach time, but no luck. Too much going on. So we're gonna be apart for two weeks. That's gonna suck. And when I get back things will be crazy here, too. But at least we get to dash off to Vegas for a couple days of Sin.
Danny better hope he can get his "Best Man" out of our suite. 'Cause if I have anything to say about it there will be a Do Not Disturb sign permanently swinging from the doorknob, heh heh.
But first we all gotta make it through this month. I'll be glad when it's over.
My Office
Paperwork sucks.
But at least it's quiet here. After the mayhem of this weekend it's nice.
I'm almost recovered from yesterday. What started out as a nice, quiet Mother's Day Sunday in the Hamptons quickly turned into a three-ring circus. But it was a great party. Jakey had an absolute blast. And I didn't even have to wear a costume, ha ha.
Dorothea really outdid herself this time. Actors dressed up as the Justice League (including a pretty hot Wonder Woman, ha ha), capes and costumes for all the kids, a motion-simulator ride thingie, a huge LED screen showing the classic cartoons, and even a save-the-world scavenger hunt around the neighborhood. They had actors pretending to be villains at different spots around town, and the kids got driven around in this open-air bus kinda thing to thwart each crime. It was great. Funny as hell, too.
And the biggest damned bounce-house I've ever seen in my life was in the backyard. After all the kids went home Cate and I got in there with Jake and Romey and bounced around. Haven't done that in years. It was fun. I actually considered paying the party company to leave it up overnight and come back to get it today, so Cate and I could use it after everybody left, heh heh. A little naked bouncing.
But alas, we had to come back to the City last night too. Damned grown-up responsibilities, ha ha.
Anyway, Jakey made out like a bandit with his birthday loot. More toys and shit than he'll ever have time to play with. And that was just from family -- D asked all the kids attending to bring unwrapped toys to donate to kids' charities. She and Jake are gonna give them to Sister Mary later this week, when D goes out for a meeting about the Kitchen.
Jakey's pretty excited about it -- he sees Steph and Jess helping out at the Kitchen with us, so this is his own special way of pitching in. And when I get back from the road Romeo and I are gonna collect donations for the animal shelter, that he can take over and give to them. I love that all my kids want to be involved with the philanthropy thing. It's important to Dorothea and me that they understand, with all the opportunities and privileges they enjoy, that there are others that need help and that they can make a difference in somebody's life.
Yeah, we have great kids.
We'll see how great Dorothea thinks Jakey is in the next few days. Turns out I was right about his gift from Uncle Mookie. Dorothea's expression when she saw it was priceless. I even heard her mutter "Goddamn Sambora" under her breath, though she was smiling.
Richie had one of his signature Strats custom-made for Jake, and it came with a big-ass Marshall amp. I think it's the biggest portable they make, Jake can hardly lift it. The guitar is just cool as hell, bright blue with comic-book art and a big Superman shield on the body. Jake's name is painted on the back. There are even stars and POW!s and BAM!s painted up the neck, on the frets. It's something else.
Of course I had to help Jake set it up and plug it in. I helped him play a few chords, then he let all the other kids take turns playing Guitar Superhero. It was fucking hilarious, and somewhat painful for us spectators. The feedback actually drove Mom indoors. That's one way to get her out of my hair, ha ha.
Dorothea told me I'm paying to have Jake's room soundproofed. I told her whatever, send me the bill.
That was a really special gift Richie sent my Boy. I just wish he was here to give it to him in person. Can't wait until he can sit down with Jake and show him a few things and they can jam together. Richie's always had a soft spot for Jakey; kinda like he's the son Richie never had and probably never will. He's close to all of my Boys, but there's something about Jake. I think that Kid got the genetic good-luck-horseshoe in the ass from me.
Anyway, I waited until after the party to give Jake my present. It's something special, something I didn't want the other kids to see. Didn't want them (or Jake) to think he's some kind of spoiled rich kid. But I admit, I did spoil him a little bit, over his mother's objection.
And it was totally worth it, his wide eyes and big grin and the huge hug he gave me when he saw that bright red go-kart. He thought it was a dune buggy at first -- I guess it does kinda look like one -- but I explained what it was and that it's kid-sized, made just for him.
Well of course he wanted to drive it right away. I made him wait until he got the safety lecture (which I don't think he heard a word of), then we put on helmets and climbed in. And it wasn't easy to shove my lard ass into that kid-sized seat, either. I showed Jake how to start it up and use the pedal and brake, then we took it for a slow spin around the back yard, until he got the hang of things. Once I was sure he knew what he was doing we strapped Romeo in and let him ride too.
Then Jake and I took the kart out on the beach. That's when I knew he was my Kid for sure -- he opened that thing up as fast as it would go and we took off streaking down the sand, ha ha. Had to rein him in. Then we tore around the beach for awhile, just Jake and me. He even let me drive a little, I did some donuts and we climbed over some little dunes and spun wheels and fun stuff.
It was special. Just watching his excitement, seeing him grin.... I had tears in my eyes behind my shades. I miss him so damned much when I'm gone. And I miss living with him. I love all my kids more than my own life, but Jakey's always gonna be special. He's the most like me, I see myself in him with every movement and word and expression.
I really wanted to get him a dirt bike like I had when I was a kid, but after I did a little research I learned there are now laws that prohibit purchase of a motorized bike for use by a kid under age 12. Stupid laws. When I was a kid every 9-year-old had a dirt bike, and we usually built or modified 'em ourselves as we got older. And we all lived to tell about it.
Okay, so some of that may be due to dumb luck, ha ha.
But when I couldn't get the bike Obie suggested the kart. He knows the guy, called him up and had it set up in about 5 minutes flat. And it was a great call. Jakey absolutely loves it. He'll get to use it all summer out here; I told Dorothea she's free to use the house as much as she wants while I'm in Europe. And of course we'll be out here the whole month of August as usual. That's a lot of go-kart time, ha ha.
Jake wanted to take it back to the City, drive it in the Park, ha ha. Yeah, that's gonna work. I actually had to explain to him why you can't have a go-kart in New York City. He looked puzzled.
Yep, he's my Boy for sure.
So, after a long day we finally got everything taken down and put away and cleaned up and all the guests made their departures, back to the City and off to Jersey. The kids have school today so everybody had to get home early. Cate and I thought about staying out in the Hamptons house overnight but finally decided to come back late. Probably wise. We both have crazy weeks coming up.
She's teleworking again today and is leaving for Chicago early tomorrow morning. Just a quick 2-day trip to meet with some government lawyers, she'll be home Wednesday Night. Then she turns around and gets on a bus with Jess and his class Thursday morning, to go to DC for his school trip. They'll be there through the weekend, come back Sunday night.
I was hoping Cate would come meet me in Florida for the show and a little beach time, but no luck. Too much going on. So we're gonna be apart for two weeks. That's gonna suck. And when I get back things will be crazy here, too. But at least we get to dash off to Vegas for a couple days of Sin.
Danny better hope he can get his "Best Man" out of our suite. 'Cause if I have anything to say about it there will be a Do Not Disturb sign permanently swinging from the doorknob, heh heh.
But first we all gotta make it through this month. I'll be glad when it's over.
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