Sunday, May 15

2:05 am
My Room

Well well well.... turns out it WAS a good thing Cate's on chaperone duty.

I gave her a call earlier for a little naughty talk and got her voice mail, followed by a text that said "I'll call you in a little while."

Just got off the phone with her, with no dirty-talk.  Instead I got the report that my eldest son and his pals tried to pull a fast one.  And they almost succeeded.  If only they weren't Dumbasses who tried to bring a dripping duffel bag full of ice into their room to chill down their beer they may have gotten away with it.

Cate just confiscated a half a case of Heineken from Jesse and three other guys.  And it was in his room's bathtub.  "Guarded" by a couple of tipsy little blonde girls, who were thankfully fully-dressed when Cate conducted her search and seizure.

Well of course my trained interrogator wife got to the bottom of things pretty quickly.  Turns out Jesse's buddy Tyler has an older brother who goes to GWU.  So earlier tonight during intermission at the Kennedy Center thing Tyler called up his bro, who bought the beer and left it in a suitcase for him at the hotel's front desk.  All Tyler had to do was go down and claim the suitcase, wheel it up to his room, open it up, and viola! Instant party.

Too bad the beer was warm, and four buckets of ice didn't cut it.  Another kid, Hank, was the Rocket Scientist who tried to lug the duffel full of ice back to the room.  But that was after a couple beers apiece.  Which was probably exactly what made Genius think the duffel was a good idea, ha ha.

Of course as soon as Cate told me what happened I demanded she put Jesse on the phone so I could rip him a new one.  She refused, told me he was in his room and she had everything under control.  And that she has all the involved parties' phones in her room, so calling Jesse on his iPhone wouldn't work either.  Damned crafty woman.

Cate said Jesse was up-front with her, admitted he knew about the Beer Plan and that he had two before she busted them.  He never tried to cover or lie; he just admitted he fucked up.  A couple of the other boys thought they were smart and came up with crazy-ass stories which Cate very quickly picked apart, ha ha.  By the time she was through with them Cate had written statements from each kid about exactly how everything went down.

But here's the thing that amazes me about my Wife:  even though she had every reason in the world to be pissed off and make a big deal out of all this and try to hammer these kids, she didn't.  She hasn't even told the teachers yet.  The other Dad she's been hanging with is a former federal prosecutor.  She called him and together they worked the issue, got the story, sent the kids into "lockdown," and decided to sit tight for tonight.  They'll tell the teachers in the morning.  Nothing more to be done tonight anyway.

Then they sat and had a contraband beer together, ha ha.

I don't know what kind of trouble Jesse is going to get into with the school for this little stunt.  Hell, he may be expelled.  One thing for damned sure, Dorothea's gonna have his ass.  I should too, but I gotta admit I'm having a hard time mustering outrage at his actions.  Lord knows I did way worse when I was a teenager; I was out in the parking lot drinking beer and smoking weed between classes, for fuck's sake.  But I also went to public school and things were a damned lot different back then.

Fuck.  Now I'm gonna have to think of some kind of punishment.  And call Dorothea.

Sonofabitch.

Well, at least Jesse had his damned pants on when he got busted this time.


12:30 pm
My Room

Well THAT was fun.

Just filled my ex-Wife in on her Baby Boy's actions on the field trip.  To say she's pissed is putting it mildly.  VERY mildly.  Jesus, I'm glad I'm on the road and don't have to deal with her face-to-face on this one.  Wow.

Dorothea's certain Jesse's going to be expelled, probably for three days.  Possession of alcohol by a minor, drinking during a school event.  Even though he wasn't on school grounds and it wasn't during educational activities, the school has supervision/jurisdiction over the kids 24/7 while they're on the field trip.  It's just like they were drinking at school.

Jess and his buddies really fucked this one up.  Great.

The only saving Grace is this:  there were no police involved.  Thank God for Cate's and Mr. DiPalma's level heads last night; they didn't even tell the teachers what happened until they were on the bus home.  They realized exactly what would happen, and it could have been much worse than it is.  DiPalma pointed out that if the teachers were made aware of the legal violation by the students they would have been obligated under the terms of school liability policy and their contracts to call the police.  That means the kids probably would have been arrested and booked and released, but there would have at minimum been a police report.

Guess it's good to have a lawyer around sometimes, eh?  Ha ha.

Jesus, Jess dodged a bullet on this one.  But I'll tell you what -- that kid's gonna pay when he gets home.  I don't know how, I don't know what, I don't know when, but..... well, something.  Guess D and I will have to wait and see what the school does first.

That's assuming Dorothea doesn't kill him the second he walks in the door, ha ha.

I have a feeling she'll be fine by the time Jess gets home later this afternoon, though.  She'll get her mad out and put on her calm "you've disappointed me" Mom face.  D's much better at that than I am.  I know for sure she wants to sit down with Cate and hear the whole story.

So, speaking of Cate... this morning she told me another interesting little factoid.  Something that kinda got passed over in the Beer Bust Frenzy, ha ha.

Bridget sat with Jesse at the Pops concert last night.  And she let him hold her hand.

That's my Boy.

Too bad he's a Bonehead.