Thursday, May 19

12:15 pm
Suite

Well, the hammer finally dropped on Jess and his pals.  Expelled for 3 days, beginning Monday.

Or as Dorothea said, "just in time for YOU to get home and deal with him."

Apparently I'm in charge of Attitude Adjustment.  Seems Mr. Party-Time Casanova has pitched some serious 'tude at his Mama since getting home from the field trip.  He might have been cool and mature with Cate, but with D not so much.

Well, I got some plans for Mr. Cool.  He's gonna spend his 3 days away from school doing charity work.  I emailed Sister Mary to see where he could do some good for HOME.  I'm thinking one of their tutoring/outreach programs.  And when Jesse's not tutoring he'll be studying for his own final exams.  A few 12-hour days of that ought to get his head on straight.

I'm not so much pissed off about the beer as I am about his attitude.  I know teenage rebellion is a normal thing, but it's so out of character for Jess.  He's always been the laid-back kid.  He obviously has a wild streak (which makes me proud, ha ha) but he's never given much lip to me or Dorothea.  Apparently the Times They Are-a Changin'.

On other homefront news, it's a wacky day around the Bongiovi household(s).  Dorothea enlisted Cate's help to divide and conquer with school activities.  There's a parents'/kids' party at the Chuckleheads' school tonight that D is kinda co-in-charge-of.  And Steph's acting class has their final scenes production tonight.

Cate's gonna help out with the party and take Jakey and Romey back to our place after, so Dorothea can go watch Steph's performance without the Lunatics in tow.  D promised to video it for me so I can watch later.  I've hardly gotten to see any of Steph's productions this year.  I regret that; she's not a bad little actress.  Comes much more naturally to her than it did to me.  Took me 5 years of lessons to figure out how to do it right, ha ha.

Then again, she's a Girl.  Drama is hormonally-ingrained.

As for me, I'm on vacation, ha ha.  Heading out with some of the guys for a quick private tour at Graceland.  It's been years... no, over a decade since I've been out to visit The King.  X wanted to take his Mama so I had Matty set it up.  It will have to be quick, but a couple hours will do.  We're even doing a private lunch on the Estate.  That will be pretty cool.

I was telling Cate this morning about our night last night and our day ahead.  She's totally jealous.  We Boys had an awesome night out, low key, just beer and Blues, kinda like in Chicago.  Only this time X couldn't stay in his seat, ha ha.  He got up with some local band and just let it all fly.  He's a helluva Blues guitarist; something I guess I always knew but never really paid attention to since he's been in harder-core bands.  Richie told me awhile back X has done some great Blues session work.  Now I see why.

Cate said she wished she had been there to see that.  I told her I bet she does, ha ha.  She's gonna choke when I show her the pic I took of X up on that little stage, wearing a purple bandana over top all that wild Greek hair.

I know my wife's Kryptonite, heh heh.

Cate also wishes she was here today to go to Graceland with us.  In all her travels she's never been there.  That just stunned me; as much as Cate loves music I thought for sure she'd made it to the Elvis Mecca.  She's been to Memphis and adores Beale Street, but she just never had time to do Graceland.  I promised her I'll bring her back here once the tour is done and we'll take our time, see everything.  A little mini-getaway for us, soon.  Maybe as soon as the kids are back in school in the fall.

Speaking of Elvis, Matty's pounding on my door.  Time for this Elvis to leave the Building, ha ha.


4:55 pm
Venue

MOTHERFUCKERS!

Just rolled in for soundcheck.

Everybody's wearing glasses AGAIN.  But this time they're not Grouchos -- they're Elvises.  Big-ass shades with fake sideburns hanging off the temples.

SOMEBODY BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THESE GODDAMNED GLASSES!!!!


7:15 pm
Venue

This is one of those times when I'm really glad I'm the Boss.  I got my own private john, don't have to share with the rest of the band.  Bet they're glad for that too.

I've been bound up all damned afternoon.  Feel like I got about 10 pounds of crap backed up in my bowels.  And if I don't get rid of it before showtime things are gonna get ugly.  I really wanted to take an ex-lax but I didn't dare.  I can't go out and jump around onstage and shit my pants.

I'd never hear the end of the Old Fart jokes then.

I've been in here 20 minutes now; the crew's probably getting antzy.  PK's probably laughing his ass off, and Davey's in fine form, I'll bet.  Christ, I'm never gonna live this down.

Cate's gonna fall out of her chair laughing when I tell her about this.  IF I tell her about this.

Fuck, I'll have to tell her about this.  If I don't the guys sure as Hell will.  Matt especially.

What a Glamorous fucking Rock Star life I lead.  "Hey guys, we can't start the show yet -- the lead singer's still on the Can!"

Fucking Elvis.  Him and his damned Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches.