Monday, May 9

11:00 am
My Office

Paperwork sucks.

But at least it's quiet here.  After the mayhem of this weekend it's nice.

I'm almost recovered from yesterday.  What started out as a nice, quiet Mother's Day Sunday in the Hamptons quickly turned into a three-ring circus.  But it was a great party.  Jakey had an absolute blast.  And I didn't even have to wear a costume, ha ha.

Dorothea really outdid  herself this time.  Actors dressed up as the Justice League (including a pretty hot Wonder Woman, ha ha), capes and costumes for all the kids, a motion-simulator ride thingie, a huge LED screen showing the classic cartoons, and even a save-the-world scavenger hunt around the neighborhood.  They had actors pretending to be villains at different spots around town, and the kids got driven around in this open-air bus kinda thing to thwart each crime.  It was great.  Funny as hell, too.

And the biggest damned bounce-house I've ever seen in my life was in the backyard.  After all the kids went home Cate and I got in there with Jake and Romey and bounced around.  Haven't done that in years.  It was fun.  I actually considered paying the party company to leave it up overnight and come back to get it today, so Cate and I could use it after everybody left, heh heh.  A little naked bouncing.

But alas, we had to come back to the City last night too.  Damned grown-up responsibilities, ha ha.

Anyway, Jakey made out like a bandit with his birthday loot.  More toys and shit than he'll ever have time to play with.  And that was just from family -- D asked all the kids attending to bring unwrapped toys to donate to kids' charities.  She and Jake are gonna give them to Sister Mary later this week, when D goes out for a meeting about the Kitchen.

Jakey's pretty excited about it -- he sees Steph and Jess helping out at the Kitchen with us, so this is his own special way of pitching in.  And when I get back from the road Romeo and I are gonna collect donations for the animal shelter, that he can take over and give to them.  I love that all my kids want to be involved with the philanthropy thing.  It's important to Dorothea and me that they understand, with all the opportunities and privileges they enjoy, that there are others that need help and that they can make a difference in somebody's life.

Yeah, we have great kids.

We'll see how great Dorothea thinks Jakey is in the next few days.  Turns out I was right about his gift from Uncle Mookie.  Dorothea's expression when she saw it was priceless.  I even heard her mutter "Goddamn Sambora" under her breath, though she was smiling.

Richie had one of his signature Strats custom-made for Jake, and it came with a big-ass Marshall amp.  I think it's the biggest portable they make, Jake can hardly lift it. The guitar is just cool as hell, bright blue with comic-book art and a big Superman shield on the body.  Jake's name is painted on the back.  There are even stars and POW!s and BAM!s painted up the neck, on the frets.  It's something else.

Of course I had to help Jake set it up and plug it in.  I helped him play a few chords, then he let all the other kids take turns playing Guitar Superhero.  It was fucking hilarious, and somewhat painful for us spectators.  The feedback actually drove Mom indoors.  That's one way to get her out of my hair, ha ha.

Dorothea told me I'm paying to have Jake's room soundproofed.  I told her whatever, send me the bill.

That was a really special gift Richie sent my Boy.  I just wish he was here to give it to him in person.  Can't wait until he can sit down with Jake and show him a few things and they can jam together.  Richie's always had a soft spot for Jakey; kinda like he's the son Richie never had and probably never will.  He's close to all of my Boys, but there's something about Jake.  I think that Kid got the genetic good-luck-horseshoe in the ass from me.

Anyway, I waited until after the party to give Jake my present.  It's something special, something I didn't want the other kids to see.  Didn't want them (or Jake) to think he's some kind of spoiled rich kid.  But I admit, I did spoil him a little bit, over his mother's objection.

And it was totally worth it, his wide eyes and big grin and the huge hug he gave me when he saw that bright red go-kart.  He thought it was a dune buggy at first -- I guess it does kinda look like one -- but I explained what it was and that it's kid-sized, made just for him.

Well of course he wanted to drive it right away.  I made him wait until he got the safety lecture (which I don't think he heard a word of), then we put on helmets and climbed in.  And it wasn't easy to shove my lard ass into that kid-sized seat, either.  I showed Jake how to start it up and use the pedal and brake, then we took it for a slow spin around the back yard, until he got the hang of things.  Once I was sure he knew what he was doing we strapped Romeo in and let him ride too.

Then Jake and I took the kart out on the beach.  That's when I knew he was my Kid for sure -- he opened that thing up as fast as it would go and we took off streaking down the sand, ha ha.  Had to rein him in.  Then we tore around the beach for awhile, just Jake and me.  He even let me drive a little, I did some donuts and we climbed over some little dunes and spun wheels and fun stuff.

It was special.  Just watching his excitement, seeing him grin.... I had tears in my eyes behind my shades.  I miss him so damned much when I'm gone.  And I miss living with him.  I love all my kids more than my own life, but Jakey's always gonna be special.  He's the most like me, I see myself in him with every movement and word and expression.

I really wanted to get him a dirt bike like I had when I was a kid, but after I did a little research I learned there are now laws that prohibit purchase of a motorized bike for use by a kid under age 12.  Stupid laws.  When I was a kid every 9-year-old had a dirt bike, and we usually built or modified 'em ourselves as we got older.  And we all lived to tell about it.

Okay, so some of that may be due to dumb luck, ha ha.

But when I couldn't get the bike Obie suggested the kart.  He knows the guy, called him up and had it set up in about 5 minutes flat.  And it was a great call.  Jakey absolutely loves it.  He'll get to use it all summer out here; I told Dorothea she's free to use the house as much as she wants while I'm in Europe.  And of course we'll be out here the whole month of August as usual.  That's a lot of go-kart time, ha ha.

Jake wanted to take it back to the City, drive it in the Park, ha ha.  Yeah, that's gonna work.  I actually had to explain to him why you can't have a go-kart in New York City.  He looked puzzled.

Yep, he's my Boy for sure.

So, after a long day we finally got everything taken down and put away and cleaned up and all the guests made their departures, back to the City and off to Jersey.  The kids have school today so everybody had to get home early.  Cate and I thought about staying out in the Hamptons house overnight but finally decided to come back late.  Probably wise. We both have crazy weeks coming up.

She's teleworking again today and is leaving for Chicago early tomorrow morning.  Just a quick 2-day trip to meet with some government lawyers, she'll be home Wednesday Night.  Then she turns around and gets on a bus with Jess and his class Thursday morning, to go to DC for his school trip.  They'll be there through the weekend, come back Sunday night.

I was hoping Cate would come meet me in Florida for the show and a little beach time, but no luck.  Too much going on.  So we're gonna be apart for two weeks.  That's gonna suck.  And when I get back things will be crazy here, too.  But at least we get to dash off to Vegas for a couple days of Sin.

Danny better hope he can get his "Best Man" out of our suite.  'Cause if I have anything to say about it there will be a Do Not Disturb sign permanently swinging from the doorknob, heh heh.

But first we all gotta make it through this month.  I'll be glad when it's over.