Sunday, July 24

6:55 pm
Dressing Room

I'm fucking freezing.

This is false advertising.  Beach concert My Ass.  No toes in the sand, pina coladas, and girls in bikinis here.  It's only like 50 damned degrees.

Trying to close my eyes and picture sunny Sardinia, where there will definitely be toes in the sand and pina coladas and a girl in a bikini....

Cate and I finalized our plans this morning, had Renee book the villa.  It was actually less of a challenge than I thought to get Cate to pick the place.  Can't wait to see it in person -- private beach access, a huge garden, a gorgeous patio with a fountain and an outdoor dining room and a pool and a jacuzzi.  And a stable.

Of course the horses are what sold it for Cate.  Guess I'm going riding at some point.  Maybe even on a horse, ha ha.

She's out at the Jersey house again today, just for a little mini-getaway.  Decided late last night to drive out.  That's where she called me from this morning; it was like 2 am there and she wasn't asleep because she had napped all afternoon.  She said she plans to relax all day today, not do a damned thing.

Must be nice.  In about an hour I gotta go shake my ass for a couple thousand leering women.  Some of us have to work today.  Sheesh.

In fact, my slacker Wife is in the pool right now on her floaty-chair thingie, sipping some kind of fruity drink and getting ready to watch the feed of the show on her iPad.  Hope she doesn't get all excited when she sees her Sexy Husband shimmying all around the stage and drop it in the water, ha ha.  Guess we'll find out if that waterproof case is really waterproof or not.

I know where she is because she just texted me a picture of her boobs.  I could see the frame of the chair and the water when I stopped staring at her tits.  Unfortunately they're covered by that bikini top I like, the turquoise one with the little beads on it.  Fuck, she looks hot in that tiny little thing.

And I'm sitting her bundled up and shivering.  Sometimes life just ain't fair.

Okay, time to open the Cookie.  Cate told me to text her and tell her what it says.  The one from last show was kinda lame.  I think it might have been a veiled insult; you know, one of those things that sounds like a compliment but it really calls attention to your shortcomings?

And it wasn't even original:  Everybody knows "It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."

Trust me, I've been conjuring up the big waves to compensate for the dinghy in my pants for years, ha ha.

Alright, here goes...

"You are like gourmet coffee.  You grind so fine."

Okay, I know that's a compliment. And it's 100% abso-fucking-lutely true.  Let's see if my Wife agrees.  And if she doesn't...

Maybe only the Cookie will get eaten.  Heh heh.