Tuesday, July 5

12:05 am
Bedroom

Happy 4th of July.

I'm glad I was here to celebrate it.  As much as I love Dublin, home is where I wanted to be today.

Took it easy this morning and afternoon, just hung out and went to the beach and played with the Kids.  Couldn't swim or dig in the sand because of the incisions on my knee, but I was happy to just lounge around and watch.  Cate made sandcastles and boogie boarded and played football with the Chuckleheads.  I got a kick outta watching her with them.

Dorothea forgave me for my asanine behavior last night, after I apologized to her and Ted.  Later when we were on the beach we had a good talk.  I admitted I was a little rattled by seeing her kiss another guy like she used to kiss me.

D actually looked like she felt sorry for me when I said that.  But she told me I have to deal with it, like she dealt with me falling in love with and marrying Cate.  She said that wasn't easy for her at all, especially since it happened so fast.  She admitted that she actually wondered, when she first saw me with Cate, if maybe she had made a mistake in divorcing me.

Wow.  She's never told me that before.

But she made it clear that thought was only temporary.  She's happy where she is in her life now.  And she's happy for me and Cate.

This evening the whole family went into town for the 4th of July Parade.  It was great as always, a little slice of Americana with fire trucks and floats and kids with decorated bikes.  And the Vets, all marching proudly in their old uniforms and American Legion caps.

I was so proud when they asked all the Veterans along the parade route to stand and be recognized, and my Cate was one of them.  Jake and Romeo cheered the loudest for her.  I don't think they quite got it that their StepMama used to be in the military, until today when we all thanked her for her service.

That meant a lot to her.  She had little tears sparkling in her eyes when she looked around and saw her family clapping and calling her name.  It choked me up a little too.

So after the Parade it was music and watermelon and ice cream in the park, then we headed to the beach to wait for fireworks.  The whole family plus a few friends.  Of course Brendan and Steph were together, and Jesse brought Bridget.  They went off on their own blankets away from us Old Fogies, but not so far that I couldn't keep an eye on things.

Steph and Brendan making out was no surprise (but not something I particularly wanted to see).  But Jess and Bridget were pretty cute.  He's still so in awe of that girl.  You can see it in his posture, his expressions, his actions.  His "nonverbals", as my Interrogator Wife would call them.  It's like Jess can't believe his good luck, that Bridget is with him.

Reminds me of myself, back when Dorothea and I first got together.  I couldn't believe a girl as cool as her would give a shrimp like me the time of day.

It made me smile when Bridget sat with Jess on the sand, leaning back against his chest and letting him wrap his arms around her, like he was her beach chair.  And when she leaned back and turned her head and kissed him...  It was one of those moments of sweet youthful innocence we Old Folks miss.

I tried not to pay much attention to Ted and D, who were sitting together on their own blanket holding hands and cuddling, like Cate and me.  It actually wasn't too hard to avoid looking at them considering the Chuckles were bouncing back and forth between our blanket and theirs.  But once the fireworks started it was all good.

I just sat there with my arms around my Baby, watching the delight on my Boys' little faces as they oohed and aahed over the big explosions and the sparkles in the sky.  I smiled when I felt my Wife's fingers lace in between mine and move my hand to her tummy where our Baby B might be growing.

And I realized just how perfectly wonderful my life is.

9:20 pm
Living Room

Boys' Night in.  Hanging with the Chuckles, watching Transformers and eating popcorn.

Cate had to go back to the City; she has to go into the office early tomorrow for some meeting and conference call.  Dorothea and Ted went out to dinner, Steph's working, and Jess is out following Bridget around somewhere. That leaves me to babysit.  Poor old crippled Dad left to defend himself against the Lunatics, ha ha.

But it's all good.  I miss doing this.

Jesse and I spent some guy time today too.  There was a classic car show in Montauk so we took a ride over to check it out.  Some sweet rides there, Jess and I had a good time talking to the car guys.  Maybe when I get back next month I'll see about getting Jess a car, something we can work on together, build up and customize.  He's 16 after all; pretty soon he'll be driving (legally, anyway).

And every boy should have a car to work on with his Old Man.  I remember what it was like to spend time helping my Dad with his car, those Sunday afternoons after being out all night gigging and up early for Mass.  And he did what he could with my piece of shit, which wasn't much, ha ha.  But those were the times we had for just us, to talk about guy stuff and music and girls.  No little brothers or Mom hanging about.

I'd like that for me and Jess.  Now that I'm gonna be around more, I want him to have that chance.  It won't be easy with us living in different houses, but we'll figure something out.  I'll make time for that to happen.

But we had a good day today.  After the car show we stopped for burgers and talked about all kinds of stuff. Which of course meant we inevitably got around to talking about Bridget.  Man, Jess has it bad for that girl.  And apparently she's come around to him too.  They talk to each other every day and have been pretty much inseparable this weekend.  Well, except for when he was with me at the car show, ha ha.

And I was kinda surprised to hear they haven't had sex yet.  I tried not to let on to Jess, 'cause I don't want him to think that's a big deal or that I think he should have gotten in her pants already.  But I was definitely surprised.  He was a little embarrassed to talk to me about it at first.  I guess it has been awhile since we talked about "guy stuff" so it took a little bit for him to warm up.  But eventually he opened up and told me everything about his relationship with Bridget.

Apparently they've had a few dates where they've fogged up the windows in her car, ha ha.  Lots of heavy petting and hands under bras and in panties and all that good stuff.  Stuff that old guys like me fondly remember but that drive horny young bucks  like Jess absolutely fucking crazy, ha ha.  Poor Kid.  He's probably got a set of blue balls as big as coconuts.

But he said he's perfectly fine with it, he's just glad to be with her and to hold her and kiss her.  Jess actually used the word "enrapturing" to describe her kisses.  Man alive, the poet lurks in that teenage heart.  He really needs to put pen to paper and finish up that love song for this girl, with that kind of stuff swirling around in his brain.

I told him I was proud of him, taking it slow, respecting her and not just trying to get her to give it up.  After all, it will be so much better for both of them when it finally happens.  Sex is so much more than just physical stimulation.  It's mental, emotional.  And it's fucking fantastic when you and your girl are fully one, body and heart and mind and soul.  Nothing better.  That's when it's Making Love.

 Okay, so maybe I embarrassed him a little bit with that.  Or maybe he was picturing me and Cate, or me and his Mother.  Whatever.  But he blushed a little and kinda mumbled that he hopes it's like that for him and Bridget.

So Jess has eyes only for Bridget, but he's definitely been the center of attention for a couple other girls this weekend.  I saw him talking to a few of them in line for ice cream at the park last night, when Bridget was over with her friends.  I could tell by Jesse's posture he was less than thrilled to be involved in that conversation but he stood there and smiled and nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.  Finally he got to the front of the line and was able to bolt outta there.

Turns out one of those girls was his last-summer fling, the one he lost his virginity to.  And she was interested in rekindling old fireworks, shall we say.  I guess she was trying to convince Jess to meet her somewhere for a little rendezvous; told him she had some "toys" and offered to give him the "ultimate blowjob."  Jess told her thanks but no thanks; he's seeing somebody.  Somebody with Class.

Ouch.

Yeah, Buddy -- think you just stirred up a hornet's nest with that little snark.  Of course Jess didn't see it that way.  He just didn't get it.  Well, if teenage girls are anything at all like they were back in the 80's, he'll get the point soon enough.  Just hope it doesn't mess him up with Bridget.

Anyway, he's got a sweet little summer romance going on with a great girl.  And he has no intentions of letting it fizzle at summer's end, either.  Bridget's going to be a freshman at Princeton, just an hour-and-a-half train ride away.  Jess said she's already told him she'll come watch his football games this fall, and she'd like him to come visit her at school.

My Boy's gonna be dating a College Girl.  Something I never quite did... well, not date them anyway.  Heh heh.

But I'm glad for him.  At least for now.  I don't want to sound like a nay-sayer but I have a feeling once she goes off to college and he's still in high school things will probably eventually fizzle.  They'll be in two different worlds, going two different directions with their lives.  That's hard.  And it will be hard to sit back and watch my Son have to deal with saying goodbye to his first real love.

But then again, when it comes to love I'm the eternal optimist.  Maybe they'll work it out, Jesse and Bridget.  And maybe someday I'll have myself a smart, spunky redheaded Daughter-in-Law, who happens to remind me a lot of my smart, spunky redheaded Wife.

But in the meantime I'm just gonna do my best to be Dad, and to give Jess whatever he needs from me.

Thank God I get to practice on him before I have to deal with Teenaged Chuckleheads.  Somehow I get the feeling they're not gonna be so easy.

And while I was writing in my Journal they ate all my popcorn.  Little Bastards.