Monday, January 17

11:45 pm
Home

Snow's starting to fall.

Back home from my weekend with Cate.  It was beautiful, romantic, intimate.  Everything I hoped for and more.

For two whole days it was just us.  Laughing, singing, talking, holding hands, making love...

And she finally let me in.  She finally told me what has been bothering her all this time. It was what I wondered about -- my family.  She admitted she feels left out sometimes, that she's a little jealous of the bond Dorothea and I have.

And I think she wants to have a baby.

That idea just makes me grin like a fool.  I would love nothing more than to give Cate a child, to start again with a little one running around the house.  Especially a little Cate.  Another Daddy's Little Girl.

We talked about it, a lot.  When she finally opened up it was hard for her, at first.  We talked through it on the beach, then made love by the fire, then talked some more.  And when we woke up this morning the first thought in my head was how beautiful she would look, pregnant and glowing.

We haven't decided to try yet.  She has a lot to consider, and she's not really sure it's what she truly wants.  I respect that.  Cate's a very logical and careful person; it's her nature and her training.  But sometimes you can't apply logic to matters of the heart.

And it will take a lot from both of us to pull it off, if we decide to try for a child.  First off, I'll have to get un-snipped, and she'll have to be sure she's able to have kids.

But for now I'm just gonna be excited about the idea.

I'm gonna keep it to myself, I'm not gonna pressure her.  Cate has to make this decision on her own, for herself, not for me.  That wouldn't be fair.

But it would be wonderful.