5:30 pm
Shoe Inn
It's 1-1-11. That's pretty cool.
Another year done, another one beginning. They're flying by now. This morning I was thinking back over 2010 and realized it's just a blur of cities and stages and hotel rooms, punctuated by a few sweet memories. Not nearly enough of those.
The sweetest was that night on that beach in Hawaii when Cate and I said "I do." No fanfare, no fuss, no warning. We just found a JP and did it. Rich was the only witness. My best friend and my best girl, the sun setting in paradise, my life beginning again. The first day of our "As long as you both shall live."
Then it was off and running, moves to make and cases to run and tour dates to keep. We've hardly had time to savor being newlyweds. This year my resolution is to slow down, to take a breath, to enjoy life, to enjoy my wife. Once the tour ends in July, anyway. Not much I can do until then.
At least we don't go back out until February. Have a whole month home with my family. Gonna hang on to every moment I can. Have some Foundation stuff to do, a few things with the kids' schools, the Parker Center show at the end of the month.
Best of all I'm sneaking away with Cate for a few days this week. Wish we could go somewhere for a nice, long vacation but we just can't make it work with what's going on with her cases. Not that I know what's going on, 'cause she can't tell me. I just have to take her word for it.
At this rate it's gonna be our second anniversary before I even get to give her the Honeymoon I promised. I want to take her somewhere special, spectacular, where we can have our privacy and just spend days making love and drinking wine and looking forward to the rest of happily ever after. I just don't know when or how to make it happen. Her work is so unpredictable, I'm locked into the tour. Maybe in the fall, after the kids go back to school and Steph goes off to college.
Christ, Steph is going off to college this year. She's 18 this year. Don't think I like that idea. Not any more than I like the idea of her being so serious about this boyfriend. She's bringing him out for family dinner tonight, should be here any time. I plan to have a word with the young man about what happened while I was gone, the Runaway Incident. From what Cate says Brendan was an innocent party and was trying to do the right thing by getting Steph to go home, but I want to hear it from his mouth.
And I want him to look me in the eye when we have a man-to-man talk about my daughter. Cate warned me not to go Tony Soprano on his ass, ha ha. She may be a Jersey Girl at heart and by marriage, but when she says shit like that it makes me laugh. But I get it, I'll be calm and cool and collected. Probably.
If only that kid didn't remind me so damned much of young Sambora, this would be a lot easier. And if only I didn't remember what it was like to be a cocky, horny eighteen-year-old boy.
Wonder when some Daddy is gonna be having this conversation with Jess? Soon, I bet. He's got girls falling all over him right now. But he says he's not interested in getting serious, he's keeping his options open, ha ha. That's my boy. Still, when he meets THAT girl, it's gonna smack him right between the eyes and he'll be all goofy and lovesick, just like I was with his mother. And I gave Dorothea's Daddy fits, for Damned sure.
I just hope Jess does better by his girl than I did by D. I hope all my boys do right by their girls. If I have anything to do with it, they will.
Not that I've been the greatest example. I guess if I was Dorothea and I would still be married. Sometimes I wonder why I let it happen, why I didn't just do what she asked, what she needed me to do. Not that I didn't try, God knows I tried to walk away from it all. And God knows I resented her for making me choose. Sometimes it still hurts when I think about it, on days like today when I'm all melancholy and I've had a few glasses of wine. Sometimes I still miss being her husband.
And then I feel guilty as Hell for longing for what I used to have with Dorothea when I'm so lucky to have my Cate. I love her so much, I can't imagine my life without her. But if I'm completely honest with myself, Dorothea was and always will be the love of my life. We just aren't in love anymore.
But Cate. My heart beats for her. I ache for her, I yearn for her. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning, my last prayer before I close my eyes at night. She makes me feel like love is new and exciting and wonderful. I feel like a kid again when I'm with her, when it's just the two of us. It's like it was with me and Dorothea back in the beginning, but different, better. We're both wiser and more understanding and more passionate and more comfortable with who we are, apart and together.
I mean it when I say I don't know if I could go on without her.
Last night we were together for our first New Year's Eve as husband and wife. It was wonderful. No big plans, no fancy parties or hobnobbing with celebs. We rang in 2011 as just Jon and Cate from Jersey, with a bunch of other regular people who got together to have a good time with the Best Damned Band from the Great State of New Jersey.
We slipped into the Count Basie practically unnoticed, right into the crowd, and sang and slow-danced and held hands and smooched and enjoyed each other and the music. I know I had a huge shit-eating grin on my face the entire time. John was good too, he knew we were there but didn't call us out, just let us have our little date night. A few people approached us but they were respectful and asked for their photo or autograph then left us alone. I know they took pics and probably YouTubes, but I don't care. If they want pictures of a man head-over-heels in love with his wife, they can have all they want. Happy to oblige.
Mom & Dad and Dorothea and the kids will be here soon. Better go see if Cate needs me, if there's anything I can do to help. Probably not -- she'll just tell me to stay out of the way, she's got it covered. My wife does not know how to delegate, ha ha.
Fine by me, I'll just watch her do her thing and think naughty thoughts the whole time. Then later I'll put my dirty mind to good use.
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