Tuesday, January 25

12:20 pm
Kitchen

I make one helluva grilled cheese sandwich.  Can't cook much else, but grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, and ramen noodles I got covered.

Productive morning, lots of writing done.  Something to be said about sitting alone with a guitar and an iPhone, watching the snow fall.  Lyrics and melodies just seeping out of my pores today.  I'll take it while I can; once I'm back on the road it will go away.  I can't write on the road.  To much of a routine, too much focus on what's going on that day.  My mind can't wander like it needs to.

Two weeks from tomorrow it's back to the grind.  I'm dreading it.  At least first couple shows are nearby, I can come home in between.  Then it's a week in Canada and back home for awhile.  Not so bad, I guess.  Don't head out West until March.  But still... just the prospect of getting back to tour monotony ain't thrilling me.

I'm tired.  I'm ready for this one to be over.

Hope Cate can come with me to at least a few of the shows.  Of course she'll do MSG and Philly, and hopefully some of the other East Coast dates too.  Guess it will depend on what's going on with her cases.  Fucking criminals better lay low for the next month.

I love seeing her in the crowd, watching me.  She still gets as excited as she used to, when she thought even meeting me was a pipe dream.  Funny how things happen.

She still feels awful today, but thankfully not worse.  Maybe she's holding this cold or bug or whatever at bay.  Maybe she'll let me coddle her a little more tonight.  I like feeling useful, like I'm helping her.  She's so damned strong and independent sometimes I feel like I'm just a spectator to her life.

I don't mean that in a bad way -- I kinda felt like that with Dorothea too.  It's just the nature of the beast, as much as I come and go.  I wouldn't want Cate any other way, in fact her strength was what attracted me to her in the first place.  That and her eyes.  Okay, and her ass, ha ha.

I just wish when I'm here she would let me be the old-fashioned gentleman and treat her like a Queen.  When she does it makes me feel even more like a man.

Guess I should tell her that sometime, huh?

Now's not the time, but I really want to talk to her more about starting a family.  Ever since Georgia I can't stop thinking about babies.  Every time I see one I just get a big stupid grin.  Think I have that thing women of childbearing age get -- what's that they call it.... Baby Lust?  Guess I really am in touch with my feminine side, ha ha.

But I don't want to pressure her.  She has to make up her mind on her own.  She's the one who would have to make most of the sacrifices.  Her career, her independence, her body...  I just hope she truly understands how much I would love to have a child with her.  Not just because I love being a Dad and I think kids are great, but because it's something I want to share with her.  A bond I want to have with her.  Living proof of our love.

Gonna make another grilled cheese sammie then get back to writing.  Hopefully Cate will get her testimony in this afternoon and come home a little early.  Want to be done when she does so I can pamper her a little.

Hmmm... third sandwich... I'm gonna get fat.  But then again I can't eat after seven tonight, have to fast for blood work at my doc's appt tomorrow.

Fuck it.  I worked out this morning.

8:00 pm
Living Room

I've been fasting for an hour.

I'm starving.

Goddammit.