10:45 am
Living Room
Waiting for Cate to finish getting ready to go out.
Today's just for us. Just Cate and me, spending the day together, nobody else. No kids, no friends. Just us.
We have a lot to talk about, a lot to catch up on. Things have been so busy since I got back, spending time with the kids, Romeo's birthday, dealing with the fallout from my big mouth... we haven't had time to talk about us. About what's happening tomorrow. And beyond.
Last night was interesting. We had that family conference over dinner, which somehow turned into a marathon session. I swear, it was like a damned Committee meeting with opening remarks and moderated discussion and breakout sessions, ha ha. By the time we were done I was exhausted and cussing myself for being so stupid as to open my big piehole in the first place.
But I guess it was all good. Like Cate said, I was gonna have to explain myself anyway, considering I'm gonna be laid up for the next few weeks.
We came back here for dinner, ordered in Chinese. Dorothea and Cate decided I should be the one to kick off the discussion since I was the common denominator in this whole thing. When the three of us were trying to figure out how to deal with this Cate said "Hey, Baby... it's your sperm, it's your dime." Dorothea about busted a gut at that. Actually, it made me laugh too.
So I told all the kids that I guess it's not exactly breaking news, but Cate and I decided we want to try to have a baby. Steph was funny; she kinda squealed and clapped and said "Yay!" Like she didn't already know. Goofy little actress.
I gave them a really basic little pep-talk about how Cate and I love each other and we'd really like to share that love by having a child and that we hope all the kids will be excited about having a new brother or sister. I kinda had to remember to keep it simple for Jake and Romeo, and to be sure I was clear about what was happening. The Chuckles were typical -- just a shrug and an "okay" while they chowed down on their lo mein.
So then Cate and Dorothea talked a little bit, about how our family will change but in a good way. We all agreed earlier not to make this a big deal, to just keep it low-key. But once the questions started coming it kinda took over the evening.
After we finished eating I took Jakey and Romeo into the living room and we sat and talked a little bit. Jakey had a few questions, and I could tell he was a little uncomfortable with the idea of a new baby, especially a girl. I'm sure underlying his anxiety was worry that he and I won't get to spend as much time together once a baby arrives. Jake and I have always had a special bond. When Dorothea and I split it was really hard on him, us not living under the same roof anymore. I did my best to reassure him that he will always be my Buddy and promised we'll still have our time together. But I still had a healthy dose of guilt when I said it.
As for Romeo, he wasn't the least bit concerned. Russell, however, was afraid a new baby might pull his tail. Good grief. So I ended up talking more to Russell than to Romeo, and I had to hold him on my lap and tell him everything would be fine and promise him that the new baby would really like animals, especially ferrets.
So after the Boys it was time to talk to Steph. I went in her room and we talked for awhile, but it was more about me cautioning her not to get too excited and asking her to keep things under wraps. I also explained to her that I'm having the reversal surgery done tomorrow. She was a little worried about that, but we talked it out. I wasn't nearly as detailed as I was with Jess, and she didn't press for more info. But we did talk about the fact that it might be hard for Cate to get pregnant because we're both older and it might take some time for both our bodies to get in sync. Steph was very sweet, and said she thinks its wonderful Cate and I want to have a baby. And she volunteered free babysitting, ha ha.
We also talked a little about Dorothea, about how our relationship hopefully won't change because of Cate's and my family plans. Steph said she thinks her Mom might be a little sad but it's not because of Cate and me; it's like I said, she just realizes this is the end of another chapter in our relationship. I asked Steph to keep an eye on her Mom and let me know if she's worried. Of course Steph said she would. She and Dorothea certainly have their struggles, but they have a great bond. I'm proud that my daughter is so much like her Mother.
After Steph I checked in with Jess. He didn't really have anything else to say, just that he hopes everything works out and that he hopes I'm not in too much pain tomorrow. Thanks, Kid. Trying not to think about that.
So once we finally got everybody talked to and herded out the door Cate and I had some time to ourselves. We poured a couple glasses of wine and sat down in front of the fire and just relaxed. Cate took off her sling and snuggled up with me and we held each other and talked a little.
Then Cate started teasing me. I told her to stop, it had already been two weeks and it was gonna be a damned long month ahead, since I won't be able to make love to her for at least three weeks after my surgery. She asked me why I wanted her to stop and I said because I knew I couldn't make love to her tonight, because I didn't want to hurt her.
Cate just giggled and said she felt just fine, she took a pain pill and her ribs didn't hurt and her shoulder felt pretty good. And just because she was a little banged up didn't mean she didn't want to be "banged up" another way. Then she started undressing me.
Well Jesus... what was I supposed to do? I couldn't imagine how the hell I was supposed to make love to her without hurting her. After all, I couldn't lay on top of her, couldn't hug or squeeze her, and let's face it... good sex involves at least a little thrusting. Not to mention that if I was gonna be any good at it and fulfill her, it would involve at least some heavy breathing and moaning, which was probably gonna hurt her ribs.
So I held out as long as I could. But Superman was having none of it. When Cate undid my jeans and slipped her hand inside that was it. My willpower crumbled. So I followed her to the bedroom and helped her undress and slid into bed with her. It took a little bit but we found a comfortable position, took it slow and easy.
And it was fantastic.
My Wife is fantastic.
And now my Fantastic Wife is standing in the kitchen, smiling at me while she gets her purse together to go out. Off to lunch first, then some errands.
Gotta pick up a couple bags of peas.
5:55 pm
Kitchen
Wow, they caught the Bronx Zoo Cobra. It was in the Reptile House all along.
Well Thank God. I bet Russell's relieved.
Wednesday, March 30
10:45 am
My Office
Well it's been an interesting morning. And I have a feeling it's gonna be an even more interesting evening, once we get back to the City. Apparently we need to have a family conference. With the whole family, Cate included.
I was on the eliptical this morning when Jesse came into the exercise room in his workout gear. I was a little surprised he was up and around so early and kidded him about it. He just grunted at me and got on the treadmill.
He warmed up some with a mile or so jog, then started pumping iron. I asked him if he wanted a spot and he just kinda shrugged and said "I guess."
He seemed kinda down, not his usual laid-back self. He's been like that the last couple days, quiet and kinda withdrawn. So I figured this might be a good time to find out what's on his mind.
I hopped off the eliptical and toweled myself off and went over to spot him on the bench. We both did some presses and flies and stuff, then took a little break to rest up before hitting the dumbells. We were sitting there sipping Gatorade and I asked Jess if everything was okay.
He just kinda shrugged again and looked away. I thought I knew what was up, so I asked him if it was girl trouble. He mumbled "no," but didn't say anything else. That kinda made me worried, usually Jess is a pretty talkative kid when it's just the two of us together. So I pressed him a little more, told him he could tell me anything. It was just us guys here.
He kinda hemmed and hawed around a little and I kept poking at him until finally he broke. He just sat up and looked me square in the eye and said "Dad, I'm worried about the Baby."
I almost choked. BABY? I swear my heart stopped beating. And in my head I was begging Please please please please PLEASE tell me you didn't knock some girl up.....
I hope I didn't sound as panicked as I felt but I wouldn't lay money on it. I asked Jesse what he was talking about, what Baby? He just kinda shrugged and hung his head, looked down at his sneaks. I reached over and kinda shook his arm, just to get his attention, and asked him again what he was talking about.
And he looked up at me and gave me a long stare and said "Your Baby, Dad."
I know my mouth fell open at that. I just stared at Jesse, trying to figure out what the Hell he meant. MY Baby?
He stared back at me and obviously saw I was completely dumbfounded. He kinda sighed a little and shrugged again. Then he said "Dad, it's not a secret anymore." And he said he felt bad about Cate, about her injuries. That he was afraid her car crash might have "hurt the baby."
I stammered around some more, trying to figure out why on earth Jesse thought Cate was pregnant. I was just about to ask him that when all of a sudden the lightbulb went on in my head. That morning at Richie's. He must have overheard us talking, or heard me talking to Cate on the phone. That's why he thought she was pregnant.
So I asked him if that's what happened and he shook his head "no." Well, Shit. So much for my powers of deduction. Then he told me what should have been obvious.
It was Jake. Jake and Romeo were there when I spilled the beans at breakfast. I figured they were off in their own little spacey Chucklehead world and didn't catch on. But Jake heard every word and he understood it all. Kinda.
Turns out when Dorothea and I were out to dinner he told Jesse and Steph that Cate and I are gonna have a baby. And that he hopes it's a boy.
Well, he didn't get it quite right. I breathed a big sigh of relief, then told Jesse Cate's gonna be fine, and she's not pregnant. Not yet, anyway. Jess gave me a big wide-eyed look, kinda like he was suspicious that I wasn't telling him the truth. I could see I was gonna have to explain everything, tell him the whole story. The one we hadn't intended to tell any of the kids yet.
So I did. But first I asked him if there was more he was upset about, like maybe the fact that I want to have a baby with someone other than his mother? He said no, it's not that. He gets that I love Cate and he can understand why she'd want to have a baby. He actually said "I know she's not getting any younger, Dad." I kinda had to chuckle at that. And I'm keeping it to myself, obviously. Cate doesn't need to know her StepSon thinks she's.... Older.
But he did admit he felt a little left out by the whole thing. He said he thought he and I had a private bond, that he could talk to me about stuff and I could talk to him. About things like sex and love. That made me feel both a little guilty and very proud. I answered that yes, we do have that kind of bond and that I hope he still feels he can talk to me. But the reason I didn't tell him about this was because Cate and I were keeping it to ourselves, we were still kinda figuring things out. Until I opened my Big Yap, that is.
I told Jess how the whole thing went down, about breakfast at Richie's and the laughing baby video on the Today Show and me daydreaming a little and answering Richie's question truthfully. And that Jake and Romeo were there but I didn't think they picked up on what I said. It's not like I said "Cate's pregnant" or anything. Jesse kinda nodded along, then said he saw how that could happen. Then he asked me how his Mom took the news.
I didn't lie. I told him she looked hurt. And that I felt terrible about springing it on her like that. He said he thinks she is kinda sad, she's been quiet the last few days. He's been a little worried about her too, that the relationship between Dorothea and me might sour because I was going to have a new family.
I told Jess that's not the case at all -- Dorothea and I had a long conversation and I'm positive she's supportive of Cate and me. She gave us her blessing and best wishes. But I did admit I'm worried Dorothea might be a little sad because it's kind of the end of a chapter of our lives, like it was when we divorced. Things will be a little different once Cate and I have a child of our own, but we hope our Baby will just be a new addition to our big family, which includes all the kids and parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins, and especially Jesse's mother.
Jesse kinda shrugged and nodded, and I could see he really did understand. I asked him what his sister thought about Jake's "news" and he kinda snorted and rolled his eyes. He said she's all goofy and excited and ready to go shopping for baby clothes with Cate. And to see if she can help Tico design some.
That's my Steph, the glass-half-full Girl. And obviously I'm gonna have to talk to her too, one-on-one. Tell her to keep this whole planning stuff under wraps.
So I asked Jess if he had any questions about any of this. I reiterated that Cate is NOT pregnant, but that we're gonna start trying. Jess kinda chuckled again and blushed a little. Then he asked me how that's gonna work -- 'cause I'm almost 50.
Well, I knew it was time for unflinching honesty so that's how I answered his question. Honestly. I told him it was gonna be complicated and may take awhile, but it starts with me having surgery on Friday to have my vasectomy reversed. That shocked him, to say the least. He even involuntarily cringed and covered his nuts with his hand, ha ha.
He asked how that works and I told him the whole deal. What it was like when I got the vasectomy in the first place, almost 7 years ago. What the doctors have told me about the reversal. What I learned through research and watching YouTube (and I strongly advised him NOT to look up those vids, ha ha). And what I know about what will happen after the surgery--my recovery, chances for returned fertility, the whole deal.
And know what the first question the kid asked me was? "Dad, did you have to jack off into a cup?"
I forget sometimes, he's a teenaged boy. Masturbation is probably a daily event.
I tried not to laugh out loud but I grinned and told him "not yet, but I'm sure I get to soon. Can I borrow one of those titty magazines you have hidden in your room?" That made him laugh. And blush.
So after that things kinda relaxed. We talked for almost an hour, Jesse and I. I answered some more questions about my surgery, and about what it's like to be a Daddy-to be. We talked about pregnancy and what it does to a woman's body and how the baby grows. He seemed to know a lot more about that than I did at his age, ha ha.
And he asked me some pretty pointed questions about what it's like to watch a baby being born. I just reminded him my personal experience on that front was with his mother, watching him and his sister and brothers come into the world. That kinda shut him up, ha ha. I'm sure he didn't want to think about his Mama laying there on the table, legs spread open to the world.
But all in all it was a good talk. I was relieved there wasn't more that he was worried about, and I felt a little bad that I didn't pick up on his mood sooner. But he knows we can talk anytime he wants or needs to, and I told him I hoped we'll talk more about this as time goes on. Especially when Cate does get pregnant and he has a new little sister or brother on the way.
Because someday he's gonna want to be a father himself, and I want to be sure he's prepared for that. Like my Old Man did with me.
So now I guess I need to get Dorothea and Cate together and tell them the cat's really out of the bag and that we all need to sit down with the kids. I'm thinking over dinner tonight. Unless they have a better idea, which is entirely likely. I will completely defer to the wisdom of the Smarter Sex.
Since it was my big mouth that got us all into this mess in the first place.
My Office
Well it's been an interesting morning. And I have a feeling it's gonna be an even more interesting evening, once we get back to the City. Apparently we need to have a family conference. With the whole family, Cate included.
I was on the eliptical this morning when Jesse came into the exercise room in his workout gear. I was a little surprised he was up and around so early and kidded him about it. He just grunted at me and got on the treadmill.
He warmed up some with a mile or so jog, then started pumping iron. I asked him if he wanted a spot and he just kinda shrugged and said "I guess."
He seemed kinda down, not his usual laid-back self. He's been like that the last couple days, quiet and kinda withdrawn. So I figured this might be a good time to find out what's on his mind.
I hopped off the eliptical and toweled myself off and went over to spot him on the bench. We both did some presses and flies and stuff, then took a little break to rest up before hitting the dumbells. We were sitting there sipping Gatorade and I asked Jess if everything was okay.
He just kinda shrugged again and looked away. I thought I knew what was up, so I asked him if it was girl trouble. He mumbled "no," but didn't say anything else. That kinda made me worried, usually Jess is a pretty talkative kid when it's just the two of us together. So I pressed him a little more, told him he could tell me anything. It was just us guys here.
He kinda hemmed and hawed around a little and I kept poking at him until finally he broke. He just sat up and looked me square in the eye and said "Dad, I'm worried about the Baby."
I almost choked. BABY? I swear my heart stopped beating. And in my head I was begging Please please please please PLEASE tell me you didn't knock some girl up.....
I hope I didn't sound as panicked as I felt but I wouldn't lay money on it. I asked Jesse what he was talking about, what Baby? He just kinda shrugged and hung his head, looked down at his sneaks. I reached over and kinda shook his arm, just to get his attention, and asked him again what he was talking about.
And he looked up at me and gave me a long stare and said "Your Baby, Dad."
I know my mouth fell open at that. I just stared at Jesse, trying to figure out what the Hell he meant. MY Baby?
He stared back at me and obviously saw I was completely dumbfounded. He kinda sighed a little and shrugged again. Then he said "Dad, it's not a secret anymore." And he said he felt bad about Cate, about her injuries. That he was afraid her car crash might have "hurt the baby."
I stammered around some more, trying to figure out why on earth Jesse thought Cate was pregnant. I was just about to ask him that when all of a sudden the lightbulb went on in my head. That morning at Richie's. He must have overheard us talking, or heard me talking to Cate on the phone. That's why he thought she was pregnant.
So I asked him if that's what happened and he shook his head "no." Well, Shit. So much for my powers of deduction. Then he told me what should have been obvious.
It was Jake. Jake and Romeo were there when I spilled the beans at breakfast. I figured they were off in their own little spacey Chucklehead world and didn't catch on. But Jake heard every word and he understood it all. Kinda.
Turns out when Dorothea and I were out to dinner he told Jesse and Steph that Cate and I are gonna have a baby. And that he hopes it's a boy.
Well, he didn't get it quite right. I breathed a big sigh of relief, then told Jesse Cate's gonna be fine, and she's not pregnant. Not yet, anyway. Jess gave me a big wide-eyed look, kinda like he was suspicious that I wasn't telling him the truth. I could see I was gonna have to explain everything, tell him the whole story. The one we hadn't intended to tell any of the kids yet.
So I did. But first I asked him if there was more he was upset about, like maybe the fact that I want to have a baby with someone other than his mother? He said no, it's not that. He gets that I love Cate and he can understand why she'd want to have a baby. He actually said "I know she's not getting any younger, Dad." I kinda had to chuckle at that. And I'm keeping it to myself, obviously. Cate doesn't need to know her StepSon thinks she's.... Older.
But he did admit he felt a little left out by the whole thing. He said he thought he and I had a private bond, that he could talk to me about stuff and I could talk to him. About things like sex and love. That made me feel both a little guilty and very proud. I answered that yes, we do have that kind of bond and that I hope he still feels he can talk to me. But the reason I didn't tell him about this was because Cate and I were keeping it to ourselves, we were still kinda figuring things out. Until I opened my Big Yap, that is.
I told Jess how the whole thing went down, about breakfast at Richie's and the laughing baby video on the Today Show and me daydreaming a little and answering Richie's question truthfully. And that Jake and Romeo were there but I didn't think they picked up on what I said. It's not like I said "Cate's pregnant" or anything. Jesse kinda nodded along, then said he saw how that could happen. Then he asked me how his Mom took the news.
I didn't lie. I told him she looked hurt. And that I felt terrible about springing it on her like that. He said he thinks she is kinda sad, she's been quiet the last few days. He's been a little worried about her too, that the relationship between Dorothea and me might sour because I was going to have a new family.
I told Jess that's not the case at all -- Dorothea and I had a long conversation and I'm positive she's supportive of Cate and me. She gave us her blessing and best wishes. But I did admit I'm worried Dorothea might be a little sad because it's kind of the end of a chapter of our lives, like it was when we divorced. Things will be a little different once Cate and I have a child of our own, but we hope our Baby will just be a new addition to our big family, which includes all the kids and parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins, and especially Jesse's mother.
Jesse kinda shrugged and nodded, and I could see he really did understand. I asked him what his sister thought about Jake's "news" and he kinda snorted and rolled his eyes. He said she's all goofy and excited and ready to go shopping for baby clothes with Cate. And to see if she can help Tico design some.
That's my Steph, the glass-half-full Girl. And obviously I'm gonna have to talk to her too, one-on-one. Tell her to keep this whole planning stuff under wraps.
So I asked Jess if he had any questions about any of this. I reiterated that Cate is NOT pregnant, but that we're gonna start trying. Jess kinda chuckled again and blushed a little. Then he asked me how that's gonna work -- 'cause I'm almost 50.
Well, I knew it was time for unflinching honesty so that's how I answered his question. Honestly. I told him it was gonna be complicated and may take awhile, but it starts with me having surgery on Friday to have my vasectomy reversed. That shocked him, to say the least. He even involuntarily cringed and covered his nuts with his hand, ha ha.
He asked how that works and I told him the whole deal. What it was like when I got the vasectomy in the first place, almost 7 years ago. What the doctors have told me about the reversal. What I learned through research and watching YouTube (and I strongly advised him NOT to look up those vids, ha ha). And what I know about what will happen after the surgery--my recovery, chances for returned fertility, the whole deal.
And know what the first question the kid asked me was? "Dad, did you have to jack off into a cup?"
I forget sometimes, he's a teenaged boy. Masturbation is probably a daily event.
I tried not to laugh out loud but I grinned and told him "not yet, but I'm sure I get to soon. Can I borrow one of those titty magazines you have hidden in your room?" That made him laugh. And blush.
So after that things kinda relaxed. We talked for almost an hour, Jesse and I. I answered some more questions about my surgery, and about what it's like to be a Daddy-to be. We talked about pregnancy and what it does to a woman's body and how the baby grows. He seemed to know a lot more about that than I did at his age, ha ha.
And he asked me some pretty pointed questions about what it's like to watch a baby being born. I just reminded him my personal experience on that front was with his mother, watching him and his sister and brothers come into the world. That kinda shut him up, ha ha. I'm sure he didn't want to think about his Mama laying there on the table, legs spread open to the world.
But all in all it was a good talk. I was relieved there wasn't more that he was worried about, and I felt a little bad that I didn't pick up on his mood sooner. But he knows we can talk anytime he wants or needs to, and I told him I hoped we'll talk more about this as time goes on. Especially when Cate does get pregnant and he has a new little sister or brother on the way.
Because someday he's gonna want to be a father himself, and I want to be sure he's prepared for that. Like my Old Man did with me.
So now I guess I need to get Dorothea and Cate together and tell them the cat's really out of the bag and that we all need to sit down with the kids. I'm thinking over dinner tonight. Unless they have a better idea, which is entirely likely. I will completely defer to the wisdom of the Smarter Sex.
Since it was my big mouth that got us all into this mess in the first place.
Tuesday, March 29
9:30 pm
Living Room
Just put my 7-year-old to bed. My Little Guy. Not so little anymore.
Dorothea and Cate are in the kitchen chatting over wine. Cate seems pretty relaxed... I suspect she took a pain pill before that glass of wine. I'll have to keep an eye on her. But hopefully she gets a little relief tonight and can get some decent sleep.
D's staying over tonight and tomorrow we'll all head back into the City, probably in the afternoon. No reason to be up and about early.
Romeo had the Best Birthday Ever, ha ha. It really was cool, something he'll never forget. I gotta hand it to my Wife, she done good with this one.
Cate knows the guy who is Head of Security for the Aquarium in Camden. She was talking to him about some dignitary visit or something a few months back and he mentioned she and I should bring the kids to the Aquarium and he'd hook us up with a behind-the-scenes tour. Well, she remembered that and got back in touch with him to see what he could do. And Man, did he ever take care of us.
The Aquarium started doing these "experience" packages awhile back, kinda like the "trainer for a day" thing Sea World does. See the animals in their habitat, feed 'em, get 'em to do tricks. Like our Backstage VIP deals--you can get Davey to do all kinds of tricks with the right treat, ha ha. Anyway, the experience packages are really limited and usually are only offered on weekends, plus there's an age limit for most of them.
Well, Cate and her Pal set up a special one for all of us and got the age limit waived for Romeo. In lieu of charging us the ticket prices the Aquarium Director suggested Cate make a donation to their Marine Rescue program, which Cate gladly did. In fact, she made a big donation, much more than they expected. So we were treated like royalty, ha ha.
When we pulled up to the Aquarium this morning Romeo was about to bounce out of his seat. I didn't think he'd be all that impressed: we've been there before and he just spent a week touring Sea World and the San Diego Zoo and every damned animal-related museum and park in Southern California and Vancouver.
But there's no stopping that kid. You should have seen his face when our tour guide told him what he was going to do. It was priceless--the kid was literally speechless, which is a hard thing to accomplish. Cate got it all on video. We watched it when we got home -- it's hilarious.
Anyway, we spent the whole day at the Aquarium, about 5 hours doing the encounter stuff and another 3 just wandering through the exhibits. And Romeo still didn't want to leave when it was closing time. He had the time of his life.
The first thing we did was visit the Sea Turtles. One of the keepers took us on a little tour of their facility, then let the kids feed and do some training stuff with them. I had no idea turtles could be trained, but apparently they can. The kids all got to touch the turtles and hold some babies. It was really neat.
Then it was off to the Seal enclosure. There a trainer taught Romeo how to give hand signals and get the seals to do tricks. And he got to feed them fish. After the Dolphin thing at Sea World, you can imagine how excited he was about that. It was so freakin' cute. Romey even got Cate to come up and help him with the "training". I got to run the camera and you can bet I got all that on video.
Next up was my favorite part: the Penguins. Romeo LOVED that part. We went into the exhibit and got to walk around on Penguin Island with a flock of about 30 of them. Romeo got to feed them, standing right there in the middle of the herd with the trainer, tossing out the food. Then we went back to the Penguin House where we met a veterinarian.
She was very sweet to Romey and let him help her give a female bird a physical exam. She also let Jakey and the big kids help with a couple veterinary-type things, but Romey was the only one who got to put on the white lab coat and gloves. He loved that. I had this little flash-vision of him in Veterinary School. Who knows? Could happen.
After the penguins we went to the Africa exhibit where they have--of all things-- Hippos. What the fuck Hippos are doing in an Aquarium is beyond me. But they have 'em. In Camden New Jersey. I gotta hand it to Mayor Booker... he's really making some change in that city, ha ha.
We didn't get to feed the hippos but we got to get up close to them and touch them. The keeper told us about their breeding program and that they hope to have a little hippo someday soon. Cate and I shared a sweet little chuckle at that. Not that I'm comparing my wife to a hippo or anything.
After the hippos we got to see some of the other animals in Africa exhibit like porcupines crocs and lizards. And Romey got to hold a couple different kinds of birds. There was some kind of parrot who was fascinated by Steph--he kept watching her and hopping from bush to bush to follow her. She was a little creeped out, ha ha. Especially when he kept whistling at her.
Well, by the time we got through all those backstage tours we were starving. Our guide took us to this private dining area where there was a nice lunch all set up for us, right next to the shark tank. We watched the sharks and rays swimming all around us when we ate, and we laughed when Romeo asked if we get to swim with them next. Not quite, Buddy -- you're still snack-sized.
He decided that was okay when our server brought out birthday cupcakes. Somehow he forgot all about the sharks when presented with frosting, ha ha.
After our experience we just kind of wandered through the exhibits and of course had to see every single tank and cage and enclosure. It was nice because a lot of the exhibits were dark and Cate and I got to sneak in a covert smooch or a snuggle here or there. It was very sweet. Hell, I was so happy just to walk along holding her hand. I missed doing that while we were apart.
So finally we closed the place down and headed back out to Red Bank. Dorothea met us there and we all went out for pizza and birthday cake. Romey of course got tons of presents, more toys than any kid could ever need. But no ferret. He seemed a little bummed about that but he got so much other cool stuff that he wasn't too upset.
I guess Russell gets to remain an Only Pet, ha ha.
So now here we are, Birthday Boy and his brother in bed, big kids off somewhere doing something, and me in here by myself while my Wife and Ex-Wife are out in the kitchen undoubtedly plotting against me. But that's fine. I'm not stupid enough to wander into that.
Feels good to be home, playing Hubby and Daddy again. And it will feel even better when Cate is all mended and I can give her a proper welcome home shag, ha ha. Meanwhile I'm just gonna be content to lay around and be lazy and drink my wine and watch TV.
Doesn't suck to be me.
Living Room
Just put my 7-year-old to bed. My Little Guy. Not so little anymore.
Dorothea and Cate are in the kitchen chatting over wine. Cate seems pretty relaxed... I suspect she took a pain pill before that glass of wine. I'll have to keep an eye on her. But hopefully she gets a little relief tonight and can get some decent sleep.
D's staying over tonight and tomorrow we'll all head back into the City, probably in the afternoon. No reason to be up and about early.
Romeo had the Best Birthday Ever, ha ha. It really was cool, something he'll never forget. I gotta hand it to my Wife, she done good with this one.
Cate knows the guy who is Head of Security for the Aquarium in Camden. She was talking to him about some dignitary visit or something a few months back and he mentioned she and I should bring the kids to the Aquarium and he'd hook us up with a behind-the-scenes tour. Well, she remembered that and got back in touch with him to see what he could do. And Man, did he ever take care of us.
The Aquarium started doing these "experience" packages awhile back, kinda like the "trainer for a day" thing Sea World does. See the animals in their habitat, feed 'em, get 'em to do tricks. Like our Backstage VIP deals--you can get Davey to do all kinds of tricks with the right treat, ha ha. Anyway, the experience packages are really limited and usually are only offered on weekends, plus there's an age limit for most of them.
Well, Cate and her Pal set up a special one for all of us and got the age limit waived for Romeo. In lieu of charging us the ticket prices the Aquarium Director suggested Cate make a donation to their Marine Rescue program, which Cate gladly did. In fact, she made a big donation, much more than they expected. So we were treated like royalty, ha ha.
When we pulled up to the Aquarium this morning Romeo was about to bounce out of his seat. I didn't think he'd be all that impressed: we've been there before and he just spent a week touring Sea World and the San Diego Zoo and every damned animal-related museum and park in Southern California and Vancouver.
But there's no stopping that kid. You should have seen his face when our tour guide told him what he was going to do. It was priceless--the kid was literally speechless, which is a hard thing to accomplish. Cate got it all on video. We watched it when we got home -- it's hilarious.
Anyway, we spent the whole day at the Aquarium, about 5 hours doing the encounter stuff and another 3 just wandering through the exhibits. And Romeo still didn't want to leave when it was closing time. He had the time of his life.
The first thing we did was visit the Sea Turtles. One of the keepers took us on a little tour of their facility, then let the kids feed and do some training stuff with them. I had no idea turtles could be trained, but apparently they can. The kids all got to touch the turtles and hold some babies. It was really neat.
Then it was off to the Seal enclosure. There a trainer taught Romeo how to give hand signals and get the seals to do tricks. And he got to feed them fish. After the Dolphin thing at Sea World, you can imagine how excited he was about that. It was so freakin' cute. Romey even got Cate to come up and help him with the "training". I got to run the camera and you can bet I got all that on video.
Next up was my favorite part: the Penguins. Romeo LOVED that part. We went into the exhibit and got to walk around on Penguin Island with a flock of about 30 of them. Romeo got to feed them, standing right there in the middle of the herd with the trainer, tossing out the food. Then we went back to the Penguin House where we met a veterinarian.
She was very sweet to Romey and let him help her give a female bird a physical exam. She also let Jakey and the big kids help with a couple veterinary-type things, but Romey was the only one who got to put on the white lab coat and gloves. He loved that. I had this little flash-vision of him in Veterinary School. Who knows? Could happen.
After the penguins we went to the Africa exhibit where they have--of all things-- Hippos. What the fuck Hippos are doing in an Aquarium is beyond me. But they have 'em. In Camden New Jersey. I gotta hand it to Mayor Booker... he's really making some change in that city, ha ha.
We didn't get to feed the hippos but we got to get up close to them and touch them. The keeper told us about their breeding program and that they hope to have a little hippo someday soon. Cate and I shared a sweet little chuckle at that. Not that I'm comparing my wife to a hippo or anything.
After the hippos we got to see some of the other animals in Africa exhibit like porcupines crocs and lizards. And Romey got to hold a couple different kinds of birds. There was some kind of parrot who was fascinated by Steph--he kept watching her and hopping from bush to bush to follow her. She was a little creeped out, ha ha. Especially when he kept whistling at her.
Well, by the time we got through all those backstage tours we were starving. Our guide took us to this private dining area where there was a nice lunch all set up for us, right next to the shark tank. We watched the sharks and rays swimming all around us when we ate, and we laughed when Romeo asked if we get to swim with them next. Not quite, Buddy -- you're still snack-sized.
He decided that was okay when our server brought out birthday cupcakes. Somehow he forgot all about the sharks when presented with frosting, ha ha.
After our experience we just kind of wandered through the exhibits and of course had to see every single tank and cage and enclosure. It was nice because a lot of the exhibits were dark and Cate and I got to sneak in a covert smooch or a snuggle here or there. It was very sweet. Hell, I was so happy just to walk along holding her hand. I missed doing that while we were apart.
So finally we closed the place down and headed back out to Red Bank. Dorothea met us there and we all went out for pizza and birthday cake. Romey of course got tons of presents, more toys than any kid could ever need. But no ferret. He seemed a little bummed about that but he got so much other cool stuff that he wasn't too upset.
I guess Russell gets to remain an Only Pet, ha ha.
So now here we are, Birthday Boy and his brother in bed, big kids off somewhere doing something, and me in here by myself while my Wife and Ex-Wife are out in the kitchen undoubtedly plotting against me. But that's fine. I'm not stupid enough to wander into that.
Feels good to be home, playing Hubby and Daddy again. And it will feel even better when Cate is all mended and I can give her a proper welcome home shag, ha ha. Meanwhile I'm just gonna be content to lay around and be lazy and drink my wine and watch TV.
Doesn't suck to be me.
Monday, March 28
5:30 pm
Jersey House
Just got back from a fun day out. Made a fire, sitting here warming up my toes and my frozen ass. It may look like Spring out there, but it sure as Hell AIN'T.
Picked up the Kiddos at Dorothea's this morning then headed out here to just hang at the big house for a couple days. It was Cate's idea, and I was more than ready to agree to it. I think she needed to get out of the apartment, get a little fresh air and peace and quiet. Well, if it's possible to have peace and quiet with the Chuckleheads running around.
Last night was rough. I didn't sleep much, neither did Cate. Every time she moved she woke up. That's the problem with rib injuries; if you even breathe hard it hurts, let alone move a body part. She's trying to gut things out, not use painkillers anymore than she has to. Last night she said she didn't want to be all foggy for my first night home; she wanted to have a glass of wine and cuddle up with me. So she didn't take her meds.
And so she also didn't sleep. Stubborn damned woman. She's as bad as me.
It was also rough because try as I might, I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Cate. It was like I was replaying some awful movie in my head, over and over and over. I just couldn't make it go away. I was about ready to take one of Cate's sleeping pills until I remembered I shouldn't take any kind of meds because of my surgery on Friday. So I just laid there and held Cate's hand and listened to her breathe and tried to sleep.
We're both tired today. Tonight's gonna be an early night.
But we did get out and get some fresh air. After we picked up the kids we stopped at the Diner for lunch, then drove out to Great Swamp and hiked one of the wildlife trails. Well, between my leg and Cate's ribs it was more of hobble/stroll than a hike, but you get the picture. We pretty much stuck to the trail and took it slow and let the Chuckleheads run around like lunatics, burn off their energy.
I had the camera with me; got some great photos of some birds and wildlife. Mostly birds; all the animals with any damned common sense were still hibernating, ha ha. Saw a few squirrels and even a muskrat. Romeo thought it was an otter, argued with me about it for fifteen minutes until finally Cate pulled up a picture of a muskrat on her phone and showed it to Romey.
Of course, if Cate says it's a muskrat, it's a damned muskrat. Hell, she could tell Romeo that thing was a unicorn and he'd agree. Because it's her. Gotta say one thing about my littlest Boy -- he really does love his StepMama. It's sweet they way they've bonded. Makes me happy.
We had a little moment of crisis when Russell got loose and tried to run off to play with the muskrat. Good Grief. That kid comes up with the most crazy-ass ideas about that imaginary pet of his. Of course Cate coaxed the crazy little weasel-figment back with some quick thinking, then told Romeo she wanted to carry Russell in her sling for the rest of the hike. Romey was more than happy to let her do that. He wanted to be sure Cate felt better, since she was hurt.
It was a little bit of a shock for Dorothea and the kids this morning when Cate walked in the door. Steph was probably the most shaken up; she immediately rushed over to Cate and asked her what happened. Romeo looked a little scared until I sat down and let him crawl on my lap. He didn't quite know what to think about Cate's sling or the bruises on her face.
Cate was great; she sat everybody down and told them the story about the taxicab crash. I couldn't watch her while she did it--I was sure my expression would give away that the whole story was a lie. I think Dorothea noticed; she gave me a little raised-eyebrow look and I just shook my head. I wonder if she'll ask Cate about it later.
Anyway, the kids were all worried about her and relieved she was okay. Jakey asked if he could see her stitches. Good Lord. But Cate was game, she pulled back her hair and showed him the spot where they had to shave part of her scalp to put in the stitches. It's healing pretty well so it's not gory at all. I think Jake was a little disappointed, ha ha.
But then he made my heart melt when he asked Cate if her bruises hurt. She said not really, but her ribs and her shoulder are still sore. And my Boy leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, said he hopes that helps make it better.
He's gonna be even smoother than Jess, that one.
So anyway, throughout our day together the kids have been keeping an eye on Cate and occasionally one of them will ask her a question about her injuries or about the "crash." Except Jesse. He has hardly said a word. This morning he told Cate that he's glad she's okay and he was sorry about the accident, but since then he's been really quiet. Wonder what that's about? May have to talk to him later.
Now Cate and Steph and Romeo are in the kitchen making dinner. Cate can't do a lot with her arm in a sling so she's teaching Steph how to make Chicken Parmesan. She's giving the directions; Steph is doing the cooking. And Romeo is probably driving them both crazy, repeating everything Cate says.
Just hope Russell doesn't get his little ferret-feet all over my dinner, ha ha.
We have a big day planned tomorrow -- Romey's birthday. Cate came up with the most amazing birthday present for him. When she told me about it I was just blown away. Romey's gonna freak -- it will be so fun to see his reaction.
Cate set the whole thing up herself, after she asked Dorothea if it would be okay. Of course D said it was fine. She's not going to come with us, but she's gonna meet us afterwards and we'll go have a little pizza party for dinner. And Cate won't be able to fully participate since she's got the bum arm, but she said she'll be the videographer. I definitely want to get this on video.
My Little Guy's gonna be 7. I can't believe it.
Think I'm gonna wander into the kitchen and see if I can steal a snack before dinner. And maybe a kiss or three from my Wife.
Jersey House
Just got back from a fun day out. Made a fire, sitting here warming up my toes and my frozen ass. It may look like Spring out there, but it sure as Hell AIN'T.
Picked up the Kiddos at Dorothea's this morning then headed out here to just hang at the big house for a couple days. It was Cate's idea, and I was more than ready to agree to it. I think she needed to get out of the apartment, get a little fresh air and peace and quiet. Well, if it's possible to have peace and quiet with the Chuckleheads running around.
Last night was rough. I didn't sleep much, neither did Cate. Every time she moved she woke up. That's the problem with rib injuries; if you even breathe hard it hurts, let alone move a body part. She's trying to gut things out, not use painkillers anymore than she has to. Last night she said she didn't want to be all foggy for my first night home; she wanted to have a glass of wine and cuddle up with me. So she didn't take her meds.
And so she also didn't sleep. Stubborn damned woman. She's as bad as me.
It was also rough because try as I might, I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Cate. It was like I was replaying some awful movie in my head, over and over and over. I just couldn't make it go away. I was about ready to take one of Cate's sleeping pills until I remembered I shouldn't take any kind of meds because of my surgery on Friday. So I just laid there and held Cate's hand and listened to her breathe and tried to sleep.
We're both tired today. Tonight's gonna be an early night.
But we did get out and get some fresh air. After we picked up the kids we stopped at the Diner for lunch, then drove out to Great Swamp and hiked one of the wildlife trails. Well, between my leg and Cate's ribs it was more of hobble/stroll than a hike, but you get the picture. We pretty much stuck to the trail and took it slow and let the Chuckleheads run around like lunatics, burn off their energy.
I had the camera with me; got some great photos of some birds and wildlife. Mostly birds; all the animals with any damned common sense were still hibernating, ha ha. Saw a few squirrels and even a muskrat. Romeo thought it was an otter, argued with me about it for fifteen minutes until finally Cate pulled up a picture of a muskrat on her phone and showed it to Romey.
Of course, if Cate says it's a muskrat, it's a damned muskrat. Hell, she could tell Romeo that thing was a unicorn and he'd agree. Because it's her. Gotta say one thing about my littlest Boy -- he really does love his StepMama. It's sweet they way they've bonded. Makes me happy.
We had a little moment of crisis when Russell got loose and tried to run off to play with the muskrat. Good Grief. That kid comes up with the most crazy-ass ideas about that imaginary pet of his. Of course Cate coaxed the crazy little weasel-figment back with some quick thinking, then told Romeo she wanted to carry Russell in her sling for the rest of the hike. Romey was more than happy to let her do that. He wanted to be sure Cate felt better, since she was hurt.
It was a little bit of a shock for Dorothea and the kids this morning when Cate walked in the door. Steph was probably the most shaken up; she immediately rushed over to Cate and asked her what happened. Romeo looked a little scared until I sat down and let him crawl on my lap. He didn't quite know what to think about Cate's sling or the bruises on her face.
Cate was great; she sat everybody down and told them the story about the taxicab crash. I couldn't watch her while she did it--I was sure my expression would give away that the whole story was a lie. I think Dorothea noticed; she gave me a little raised-eyebrow look and I just shook my head. I wonder if she'll ask Cate about it later.
Anyway, the kids were all worried about her and relieved she was okay. Jakey asked if he could see her stitches. Good Lord. But Cate was game, she pulled back her hair and showed him the spot where they had to shave part of her scalp to put in the stitches. It's healing pretty well so it's not gory at all. I think Jake was a little disappointed, ha ha.
But then he made my heart melt when he asked Cate if her bruises hurt. She said not really, but her ribs and her shoulder are still sore. And my Boy leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, said he hopes that helps make it better.
He's gonna be even smoother than Jess, that one.
So anyway, throughout our day together the kids have been keeping an eye on Cate and occasionally one of them will ask her a question about her injuries or about the "crash." Except Jesse. He has hardly said a word. This morning he told Cate that he's glad she's okay and he was sorry about the accident, but since then he's been really quiet. Wonder what that's about? May have to talk to him later.
Now Cate and Steph and Romeo are in the kitchen making dinner. Cate can't do a lot with her arm in a sling so she's teaching Steph how to make Chicken Parmesan. She's giving the directions; Steph is doing the cooking. And Romeo is probably driving them both crazy, repeating everything Cate says.
Just hope Russell doesn't get his little ferret-feet all over my dinner, ha ha.
We have a big day planned tomorrow -- Romey's birthday. Cate came up with the most amazing birthday present for him. When she told me about it I was just blown away. Romey's gonna freak -- it will be so fun to see his reaction.
Cate set the whole thing up herself, after she asked Dorothea if it would be okay. Of course D said it was fine. She's not going to come with us, but she's gonna meet us afterwards and we'll go have a little pizza party for dinner. And Cate won't be able to fully participate since she's got the bum arm, but she said she'll be the videographer. I definitely want to get this on video.
My Little Guy's gonna be 7. I can't believe it.
Think I'm gonna wander into the kitchen and see if I can steal a snack before dinner. And maybe a kiss or three from my Wife.
Sunday, March 27
6:40 am
Hotel
Can't sleep.
My fucking leg is killing me. Can't even take anything for it--surgery coming up on Friday. Tried booze, that didn't work.
Gonna have to see if Dean can do anything magic for it before we hit the plane. But that's a couple hours yet.
I'm packed and ready to go. Can't wait to get home to see my Girl.
Now if I can just get a few more hours of sleep first.
Time ??
No idea what time zone I'm in
Plane
Are we fucking there yet? I'm getting more and more antsy by the minute. Been on this plane too damned long. Long flights like this suck.
Watching basketball with Jesse and Steph, have been snacking almost nonstop since we took off.
Forgot how much I love peanuts. Salted and in the shell. Mmm-Mmm-Mmm. Got me a nice little stack of empty peanut shells on the table. Right next to my beer bottle.
Speaking of salty nuts... think I'm gonna call Cate and warn her I'm almost home. Heh heh heh.
Hotel
Can't sleep.
My fucking leg is killing me. Can't even take anything for it--surgery coming up on Friday. Tried booze, that didn't work.
Gonna have to see if Dean can do anything magic for it before we hit the plane. But that's a couple hours yet.
I'm packed and ready to go. Can't wait to get home to see my Girl.
Now if I can just get a few more hours of sleep first.
Time ??
No idea what time zone I'm in
Plane
Are we fucking there yet? I'm getting more and more antsy by the minute. Been on this plane too damned long. Long flights like this suck.
Watching basketball with Jesse and Steph, have been snacking almost nonstop since we took off.
Forgot how much I love peanuts. Salted and in the shell. Mmm-Mmm-Mmm. Got me a nice little stack of empty peanut shells on the table. Right next to my beer bottle.
Speaking of salty nuts... think I'm gonna call Cate and warn her I'm almost home. Heh heh heh.
9:30 pm
Bedroom
I don't know what the Hell is happening
I'm numb. Scared. Sad. Angry. Confused. Guilty.
Helpless.
I don't know what to do, how to make this better.
Of course, Cate tells me there's nothing I can do except deal with it and move on. That's what she's doing. And that should be much harder for her than it is for me. She's the one who's recovering. It was her ordeal, not mine.
But it is my ordeal, in another way. I'm her husband, and I couldn't help her.
When I asked her how this could have happened, Cate just shrugged and gave me an ironic little smile and said "That's life. It sucks sometimes."
That's a fucking understatement.
This is not at all the homecoming I envisioned. I planned to walk in the door, drop my bags and sweep Cate off her feet and carry her to the bedroom and make love to her for hours. To make up for the time we missed, to look forward to the wonderful future we have on the horizon. God, I was looking forward to that.
But I can barely hold her. I'm afraid to, I don't want to hurt her. She tells me not to be stupid and to stop treating her like some delicate little flower. She'll be good as new in a week or two. Maybe so, but it might take me awhile to recover from this. I always feared this, in the back of my mind, but I never thought it would actually happen.
While My Wife was out doing her job she was hurt. Seriously, physically hurt. As in trip-to-the ER hurt. And I couldn't do a damned thing to help her, protect her, hold her hand... Hell, I couldn't even tell her on the phone that I love her. Because she couldn't tell me what happened. And then when she could tell me she was injured she wouldn't because she didn't want me to be distracted while I was on the road.
My Wife was in harm's way for a week, suffered actual physical pain, and she didn't want me to be distracted from my pansy-ass little job as a singing and dancing monkey.
Distracted? Fuck, I would have been on the next plane home. There would have been no more "Road." Dates would have been cancelled, rescheduled. Which she knew, so she kept this to herself.
And here I've been pissing and moaning about my insignificant little strained calf muscle and lack of sleep. Christ, I'm such a pussy. Cate's been on painkillers for a week and she hasn't said a word.
I almost lost it when I walked in the door and saw her there in the living room. I was a little surprised when she told me she didn't want to meet me at Teterboro; I figured she'd go out to the Jersey house and come pick me up. But now I know why.
She didn't want the kids to see my reaction. We'll have to explain soon enough what happened to her since we're spending the day with them tomorrow. But in her wisdom Cate knew I'd need some time to get it together before she faces my family.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her. The first thing I noticed was the obvious -- the sling on her left arm. I was so shocked that it took a minute for it to sink in, and for me to notice the faded black eye and the cuts and scrapes on her face. And then when I rushed over to pull her into my arms and she winced I realized there was more.
Cate has a healing dislocated shoulder. And two cracked ribs. And five stitches in her scalp. And assorted horrible-looking bruises and cuts and scrapes on her face and neck and arms.
But somehow she still looked so beautiful, standing there and smiling at me to welcome me home. She was ready for my reaction; when my jaw hit the floor she gave me a wry little smile and cracked "Yeah, but you should see the other guy."
I wasn't amused.
Of course I demanded to know what happened, who did this to her. I was ready to pick up the phone and call whatever relatives I have left in the Old Country or North Jersey and hire them to make the Fuckers who hurt My Wife disappear. For good.
And when she answered "Baby, I can't tell you that," I went ballistic. I just lost it. I started yelling and ranting, "What the fuck do you mean you can't tell me? I'm your Goddamned HUSBAND!" I blew through every curse word I knew and I'm pretty sure I made a few up. I cussed her job and her boss and her agency and national fucking security up one side and down the other before I had to take a breath.
Cate just stood there and calmly stared at me, watching me throw my tantrum. When I finally caught on that she wasn't going to say a word until I shut up, I calmed down. Cate told me to take my bags to the bedroom and take a deep breath, then we'd talk.
I did what I was told, knowing that if I wanted Cate to tell me anything I was gonna have to cool it. So I took a deep breath. I counted to ten. I almost put my fist through the wall. I counted to ten again. I went in the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. Then I went back into the kitchen.
Cate was fixing coffee. Or trying to, anyway, one-handed. I bit my tongue and gave her a kiss on the cheek and helped her. Then we went into the living room and sat down, her in the armchair and me on the couch, as close to her as I could get.
I sat there and gazed up at my beautiful wife and my heart just broke. She looked so weary and worn. My strong, fiery, independent, kick-ass Wife, so subdued. But she still had that little glint in her eyes, behind the dull grey-blue fog that was probably caused by her pain meds. She definitely wasn't weak or fragile or broken. Just wounded.
We just looked at each other for a long minute, then I reminded myself to stay calm and asked her what happened. She got this little smirk on her pretty, bruised lips. "Car accident," she said.
I knew that was bullshit. So I asked her again. Again, "Car accident." I was about to mouth off and tell her to cut the crap, when suddenly I understood. That was the "official" story. Because of her case. Because the real story has to be kept under wraps.
I couldn't stand that thought. It made me nauseous. I was overwhelmed and I felt my eyes fill with tears. I couldn't help it. I just blinked at Cate and whispered -- because my voice wouldn't work -- "Baby, please." I needed her to tell me the truth.
Cate teared up a little at my reaction. But she quickly got herself under control. She very quietly told me "Car accident," is what we are going to tell Dorothea and the kids and anyone else. That she was a passenger in a taxicab that was in a wreck. In Puerto Rico, where she had to go for a training seminar.
I couldn't speak. I just nodded and looked at the floor, trying to hold back my tears. I don't know whether I was pissed about the cover story or afraid to know the truth. Probably a little of both.
Cate reached over and took my hand and told me to look at her. I did and she gave me a little smile, then a serious look. She told me she was only going to tell me this once, and then it would be done. I couldn't ask her any questions and I can't tell anyone.
I just nodded and my heart sank because I knew I wasn't going to like whatever it was she was about to say.
Cate took a deep breath and kinda winced--it hurt her ribs. Then she very calmly started to tell me the truth. I just sat and stared at her. It was like she was reciting lines from a script or reading a report or something. She just very matter-of-factly, in her logical cop way, gave me a complete accounting of the assault.
Assault. My wife was assaulted. The woman I love, the woman I'd kill for. The woman I'd die for. She was victimized, attacked and injured by two men who obviously intended to do much worse than separate her shoulder and crack her ribs. And if she hadn't been as strong and well-trained as she is it could have been much, much worse.
I felt sick as she described what happened. I must have looked awful because a couple times Cate paused and squeezed my hand and waited a minute to let me process what she was telling me.
She was working a surveillance in a little nightclub on the beach. She didn't say where, but I know damned well it wasn't Puerto Rico. She was following a female target. Because she was on the beach she wasn't armed; she couldn't conceal her gun in her skimpy little light dress. But she was wired. Thank God.
Her target went to the ladies room, Cate followed. The bathroom was in the back of the bar, near a door leading to an alley. It was dark, she pushed open the bathroom door and one of the guys grabbed her from behind, dragged her head back by her hair and clamped a hand over her mouth.
Cate's instincts and training kicked in. She bit his hand, tried to head-butt him. Then she felt something metal pushing against her side. She couldn't tell if it was a gun or not but she knew not to fight. That's the training; don't resist if there's a firearm. Be calm and wait for your chance to escape. Christ, I don't know how on earth she stayed calm -- my hands are shaking just writing this.
But she did. She knew she had to try to stay inside or close to the bar. If these guys got her out in the street and into a car she'd be in real trouble. So she pretended to faint, went limp. The the guy with the weapon pulled it away from her, and the one holding her dragged her toward the door. She waited until one was outside ahead of her and the other was in the doorway, then she fought back.
One guy dragged her out into the alley, but she got enough distance from him to fight. She yelled and screamed and punched and kicked. Cate said she knew if she could just stay there for 3 minutes she'd have backup. I remember that from the training she gave me at the Center -- if an officer can fight for 3 minutes, chances of his survival are 90 percent.
Jesus. Thank God she taught Officer Survival Training.
So Cate did just that, she fought back with everything she had. And next thing she knew there were police cars in the alley and her attackers were on the run. But not before one of them punched her in the face a couple times and bashed her against the stone wall and the door and tried to drag her down the alley. That's how she got the shoulder injury and the cracked ribs.
She doesn't remember how she got the other injuries. She doesn't remember the pain, until the cops showed up and it was over.
The local cops called an ambulance and she went to the ER. She had to fill out reports, get fixed up. She wouldn't let them keep her overnight, she insisted she just wanted to go back to her hotel and be alone. The Police told her she was a lucky woman, what happened to her was a by-the-book kidnap attempt. Apparently there is a criminal element wherever she was that preys on women tourists.
Cate didn't tell me more than that, but I can draw the conclusions on my own. Kidnap. Rape. Possibly even Murder. Or the victim just disappears.
Jesus.
Cate told me she wasn't lucky, she was well-trained and well-prepared and well-watched. She survived because she knew what to do, and her team did what they were supposed to. That confused me--she said the local cops showed up and scared off the attackers. Then I realized what she meant--the cops came because they were sent. Whoever was watching her heard what was happening on Cate's wire and alerted the police.
That pissed me off. I have enough training to know there were other agents in that bar or just around the corner, watching and listening. And they sat on their asses while my Wife was fighting for her life. They were right fucking THERE and all they did was call the local cops. Motherfuckers.
Of course when I started to make my opinion about all this known Cate shut me down, hard and fast. She said "the matter was handled by-the-book" and the "outcome was favorable."
Goddammit. I'm terrified at the thought of what could have happened and my Wife is spouting off fucking training-manual chapter and verse.
But I had to shut up and let her finish. I promised and I knew she wasn't gonna say another word if I went off on her. So I stuffed all my rage back inside and sat there and listened.
Cate had to do everything alone. The police report, the ER, the medical exam, the collection of physical evidence. Having her head stitched up and her shoulder popped back in and her cuts and bruises cleaned up. She had to do it all ALONE. She couldn't break her cover, had to pretend she was some poor naive lonely single American girl there on holiday that stumbled into a bad situation.
That fucking pisses me off more than anything. My Wife had to endure a major trauma and she had to deal with it all alone. All in the name of fucking Operational Security. God Forbid the feds blow their fucking cover on whatever this Goddamned case is. Apparently their agents are expendable. MY WIFE is expendable. They just sat by and watched and let Cate get her head bashed against a wall.
Nobody from her team came to the ER, nobody came to the Police Station, nobody drove her back to her hotel. She did it all alone.
She deserves a fucking medal, at the very least. Talk about fucking sacrificing for your job, for your country.
This all happened last Friday night. When I was having a grand old time with Dorothea and the kids, living the good life in Vegas. I was whining about the boys keeping me from getting a good night's sleep in some fancy hotel suite while Cate was laying on an exam table in some Emergency Room in some damned place where they probably don't even have real fucking doctors.
Christ, I feel so fucking guilty.
So Cate told me all this as gently and calmly as she could, then gave it a little time to sink in. She could see I had questions but she told me not to ask, so I didn't. But she told me a little more, I think because she could see how angry and scared I was.
She said once she got back to the hotel her team did everything they could for her. They got her straight to their standby physician, apparently a military doc who was on call in case something bad went down. He checked her out, made sure everything was okay, gave her meds from his dispensary. He even did another set of x-rays just to be sure the locals didn't fuck up.
Guess they didn't, the military doc didn't find any additional wounds or injuries. He gave her a sedative shot to help her sleep and stayed with her through the night, just in case there were complications like a concussion or something. There weren't, Thank God.
Cate spent the next couple days there, recuperating and working in the command center, until they could get her out on a military flight. She said that was standard procedure; I don't know if that was because they didn't want anybody to see her and compromise their precious operation or because that's what they do for an agent injured in the line of duty. Frankly I don't fucking care. They should have had her on the first plane out, in a fucking First Class seat.
But I don't get any say in the matter. And Cate said she was glad she didn't fly sooner because it was torture--the pressurization on her cracked ribs. She said she was flying high on Percoset but it still sucked.
When she got back here one of the guys from her office picked her up and brought her home. She's been working from home since then. Technically she's on medical leave but she's still writing reports and doing teleconferences and talking to attorneys and all kinds of shit. She said she can't not work. She has to stay in the game. It's part of her recovery, from a mental standpoint.
I guess I can understand that. And she would know. She's been down this road before.
So after she told me all this I couldn't help myself--I lost it. I sat there and cried. I apologized for not being there for her, for her having to go through all this alone. And then I begged her to quit.
Cate just moved over beside me on the couch and sidled up close. She said "Baby, it's over. I'm here, I'm safe, I'm gonna be fine. And I'm not gonna quit. But I just need you to hold me and tell me you love me and that everything's okay between us."
So I did. I very carefully wrapped my arms around her and kissed her and told her what she needed to hear. Over and over again. And after a little while it started to make me feel a little better too.
We sat there for a long time, then finally Cate told me to get my ass off the couch and go unpack my shit so she could throw my clothes in the wash. I had to grin at that. That's my Wife--she's not gonna sit around and wallow in self-pity. Or let me do it, either.
She followed me in the bedroom and sat and talked to me while I emptied out my bags. Nothing more about her injuries or the Op--that topic was clearly closed. Just about normal stuff: appointments and plans and how last night's show went and that we're gonna do with the kids tomorrow. We even talked about how Russell liked being on tour with the band, ha ha.
It was a little scary I had so much to say about an imaginary ferret.
And Cate told me she's gonna get me a cane so I can hobble around on my bum leg. Ha ha, very funny. But it made me smile. It was her silly little way of telling me we're both gonna be fine.
She's right. We will be.
Saturday, March 26
8:15 am
My Room
So I'm beginning to think bringing my kids on the road with me is NOT a good idea...
Another too-early morning. Up and and getting ready to head out and about. Trip to the World of Science this morning, lunch, then off to meet & greets and soundcheck. Seriously, I'm beginning to look forward to going to work to get a break, ha ha.
Don't know how the Hell we're gonna get Jesse up and moving. He was out as late as I was last night, hanging at the bar with the Boys and me. He's beginning to dig this rock star life, I think. Not sure if that's a good thing.
One thing I do know -- the Boy has been doing his research. Last night he asked me and Richie about the No 5 Club. Of course Richie laughed his head off and started with "Well, Son, Lemme tell ya....." I had to give Richie the throat-slash signal to tone it down. I know, Jesse's a young man and he's gonna do what he's gonna do, but he doesn't need to know ALL his Old Man's secrets, for Christ's sake.
Goddamn Internet.
Christ, I need a good stretch. Gonna have to get back here in time to at least do a half hour of yoga or something. Having the family with me on the road makes my healthy lifestyle go to shit. So much for eating well and working out.
Now if Cate was with me on the road, I'd be burning lots of calories. In an equally fun but very different way. Heh heh. Can't wait to get home tomorrow and give her a workout.
But today I have a feeling I'll burn plenty of calories chasing the Chuckles.
Speak of the Devils....
5:45 pm
Venue
Talk about a Blast from the Past...
Just finished up with soundcheck and one of those promoter VIP things that we always complain about. The ones where people with connections to AEG (ie $$) get to pretty much wander around free-range while we're getting ready for the show, then we have to grin and shake their hands and pretend to care about meeting them.
Well, we usually get our share of bored, starry-eyed trophy/housewives on those things. Usually women who can spend their husbands' money to leer at my ass and flirt with Richie. They don't usually bother me much; half the time I don't even notice 'em. The other half the time I flirt just to give them a thrill, ha ha.
Today I was in my not-noticing mood, until Richie came striding over to me with a big ol' grin on his face and a pair of stylishly-dressed blonde women in tow--one obvious bleach job and the other a pretty, natural honey-blonde (or she had a damned good colorist). Having a pair of blondes following him around is nothing new for Richie, so I didn't pay much attention. Until he said "Hey, Jon... you ain't gonna believe this shit!"
He stepped aside and let the women move up beside him. I saw then that they were different ages; one probably close to my age and another younger. Being the astute people-watcher I am I immediately thought. "Ah. Mother-Daughter day at the Bon Jovi Show." So I gave 'em a little smile and said Hi, and just kinda stood there.
The older woman kinda giggled and gave me a big, wide-eyed grin. "You don't recognize me, do you?" she asked.
I didn't but I stared a little bit harder at her, trying to figure out who I knew that she might be married to or what benefit or political thing we might have met at. Then I glanced at Richie and saw he looked like he was about to explode. He obviously knew who this woman was and was getting a kick out of bringing her over to me.
But I just couldn't place her. So I just politely shook my head and said "I'm so sorry, but I don't."
Then she laughed again and reached out and touched my arm. "Jonny, it's me." she said. "Evie."
I'm staring at her, thinking "Evie, Evie... I don't know any Evie..." Then Richie spoke up in that goofy excited wink-wink-nudge-nudge voice of his. "You know, Man! Evie!" I must have still looked clueless because he put his arm around the woman and grinned even bigger and waggled his eyebrows. "Jonny... Evelyn. Remember?"
And it hit me smack between the eyes. EVELYN. Oh Hell Yeah, I remember her. Holy Shit, I still have wet dreams about her. Well, about the way she used to look, anyway, the last time I saw her.
She was my favorite Shower Girl at the No 5, back in the day. Damn, she had skills. And she liked to practice on me. Not just at the Club, either.
And now here she was, standing right in front of me. Holy Shit.
Somehow it really brings your age into perspective when your favorite stripper/piece of ass from the Glory Days of your youth is standing in front of you, well dressed and coiffed, with the same little wrinkles and the same covered-up grey you have. She still looked great, mind you... for a woman of almost 50 she looked fantastic. But that vision of her naked with a soapy sponge... just didn't work with the lady before me.
Well of course as soon as I realized who she was I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a big smile and asked her how she's doing and what she's doing here. Well, we both know why she was here, but still...
And what she said next about knocked me on my ass. She introduced me to her daughter Francine, a beautiful young blonde-haired, blue-eyed medical student who goes to school here in Vancouver. I shook her hand and smiled and looked into her blue eyes... and almost choked.
She looked so much like my Stephanie it was scary. If I stood Steph next to this woman, they would look like sisters.
Holy Fuck. That set my mind racing. I was frantically counting backwards in my head -- if she's in medical school that would make her mid-twenties, Slippery was summer 1986...2006 was the 20th, it's 2011, add 5 is 25.... Holy Christ--could this beautiful young woman be my KID?
Well, Richie caught the panicked look in my eyes and just lost it. Busted a gut laughing. I shot him a dirty look, then looked back at Evie. She was smiling too, and gave me just a little shake of her head. She knew exactly what I was thinking. Then she explained that she decided to bring Francine to the show to celebrate her twenty-third birthday, and to hopefully meet me, an old friend from long ago and far away.
So I breathed a sigh of relief and said Happy Birthday and nice to meet you, and all that. I carefully avoided telling Francine just how I know her mother -- I had no idea if Evie's past is a secret or not. And I didn't want to ruin it for her. So I just turned on the charm and shared a little smile with Evie as I laid it on thick for her daughter.
Then Richie started hitting on her, so I was off the hook, ha ha.
But Holy Shit did that freak me out for a minute. Anyway, Richie could see I wanted to chat with Evie a little so he led Francine over to meet the rest of the band. Evie and I got some tea from the kitchen and stood there and caught up a little. Turns out she did okay for herself after that little dancer gig of hers. She put herself through college and ended up marrying a hockey player and having a family. Francine is her oldest; she has two boys and another girl. Four kids, just like me.
She said she has followed my career all these years, has even seen a show or too. And that she fondly remembers those few weeks we spent together back in the 80s. I smiled at that and assured her I do too. And I wasn't lying; I really do look back on those couple months as a great time in my life. Too bad we have to grow up and move on.
Evie's been married almost 24 years -- turns out the next guy she met after me was The One. I'm happy for her and I told her so. She said she was sorry things didn't work out with me and Dorothea, she remembers me talking about how much I loved her, even back then. I thanked her but told her everything worked out okay; sometimes life doesn't end up like we thought it would. But I told her I'm very much in love with my wife and that I'm the luckiest sonofabitch in the world and I don't for a second take it for granted.
Then we hugged and I gave her a big kiss and thanked her for coming to see me. And I gave her Matt's number, told her to call him if she ever wants passes or tickets or anything. She's always welcome at my show.
That ended up being a nice little encounter. Classy lady, Evie. I'm glad her life turned out well.
Think I'll shake my ass a little extra for her tonight. Just to show her I really did learn something from all those lessons she gave me, ha ha.
My Room
So I'm beginning to think bringing my kids on the road with me is NOT a good idea...
Another too-early morning. Up and and getting ready to head out and about. Trip to the World of Science this morning, lunch, then off to meet & greets and soundcheck. Seriously, I'm beginning to look forward to going to work to get a break, ha ha.
Don't know how the Hell we're gonna get Jesse up and moving. He was out as late as I was last night, hanging at the bar with the Boys and me. He's beginning to dig this rock star life, I think. Not sure if that's a good thing.
One thing I do know -- the Boy has been doing his research. Last night he asked me and Richie about the No 5 Club. Of course Richie laughed his head off and started with "Well, Son, Lemme tell ya....." I had to give Richie the throat-slash signal to tone it down. I know, Jesse's a young man and he's gonna do what he's gonna do, but he doesn't need to know ALL his Old Man's secrets, for Christ's sake.
Goddamn Internet.
Christ, I need a good stretch. Gonna have to get back here in time to at least do a half hour of yoga or something. Having the family with me on the road makes my healthy lifestyle go to shit. So much for eating well and working out.
Now if Cate was with me on the road, I'd be burning lots of calories. In an equally fun but very different way. Heh heh. Can't wait to get home tomorrow and give her a workout.
But today I have a feeling I'll burn plenty of calories chasing the Chuckles.
Speak of the Devils....
5:45 pm
Venue
Talk about a Blast from the Past...
Just finished up with soundcheck and one of those promoter VIP things that we always complain about. The ones where people with connections to AEG (ie $$) get to pretty much wander around free-range while we're getting ready for the show, then we have to grin and shake their hands and pretend to care about meeting them.
Well, we usually get our share of bored, starry-eyed trophy/housewives on those things. Usually women who can spend their husbands' money to leer at my ass and flirt with Richie. They don't usually bother me much; half the time I don't even notice 'em. The other half the time I flirt just to give them a thrill, ha ha.
Today I was in my not-noticing mood, until Richie came striding over to me with a big ol' grin on his face and a pair of stylishly-dressed blonde women in tow--one obvious bleach job and the other a pretty, natural honey-blonde (or she had a damned good colorist). Having a pair of blondes following him around is nothing new for Richie, so I didn't pay much attention. Until he said "Hey, Jon... you ain't gonna believe this shit!"
He stepped aside and let the women move up beside him. I saw then that they were different ages; one probably close to my age and another younger. Being the astute people-watcher I am I immediately thought. "Ah. Mother-Daughter day at the Bon Jovi Show." So I gave 'em a little smile and said Hi, and just kinda stood there.
The older woman kinda giggled and gave me a big, wide-eyed grin. "You don't recognize me, do you?" she asked.
I didn't but I stared a little bit harder at her, trying to figure out who I knew that she might be married to or what benefit or political thing we might have met at. Then I glanced at Richie and saw he looked like he was about to explode. He obviously knew who this woman was and was getting a kick out of bringing her over to me.
But I just couldn't place her. So I just politely shook my head and said "I'm so sorry, but I don't."
Then she laughed again and reached out and touched my arm. "Jonny, it's me." she said. "Evie."
I'm staring at her, thinking "Evie, Evie... I don't know any Evie..." Then Richie spoke up in that goofy excited wink-wink-nudge-nudge voice of his. "You know, Man! Evie!" I must have still looked clueless because he put his arm around the woman and grinned even bigger and waggled his eyebrows. "Jonny... Evelyn. Remember?"
And it hit me smack between the eyes. EVELYN. Oh Hell Yeah, I remember her. Holy Shit, I still have wet dreams about her. Well, about the way she used to look, anyway, the last time I saw her.
She was my favorite Shower Girl at the No 5, back in the day. Damn, she had skills. And she liked to practice on me. Not just at the Club, either.
And now here she was, standing right in front of me. Holy Shit.
Somehow it really brings your age into perspective when your favorite stripper/piece of ass from the Glory Days of your youth is standing in front of you, well dressed and coiffed, with the same little wrinkles and the same covered-up grey you have. She still looked great, mind you... for a woman of almost 50 she looked fantastic. But that vision of her naked with a soapy sponge... just didn't work with the lady before me.
Well of course as soon as I realized who she was I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a big smile and asked her how she's doing and what she's doing here. Well, we both know why she was here, but still...
And what she said next about knocked me on my ass. She introduced me to her daughter Francine, a beautiful young blonde-haired, blue-eyed medical student who goes to school here in Vancouver. I shook her hand and smiled and looked into her blue eyes... and almost choked.
She looked so much like my Stephanie it was scary. If I stood Steph next to this woman, they would look like sisters.
Holy Fuck. That set my mind racing. I was frantically counting backwards in my head -- if she's in medical school that would make her mid-twenties, Slippery was summer 1986...2006 was the 20th, it's 2011, add 5 is 25.... Holy Christ--could this beautiful young woman be my KID?
Well, Richie caught the panicked look in my eyes and just lost it. Busted a gut laughing. I shot him a dirty look, then looked back at Evie. She was smiling too, and gave me just a little shake of her head. She knew exactly what I was thinking. Then she explained that she decided to bring Francine to the show to celebrate her twenty-third birthday, and to hopefully meet me, an old friend from long ago and far away.
So I breathed a sigh of relief and said Happy Birthday and nice to meet you, and all that. I carefully avoided telling Francine just how I know her mother -- I had no idea if Evie's past is a secret or not. And I didn't want to ruin it for her. So I just turned on the charm and shared a little smile with Evie as I laid it on thick for her daughter.
Then Richie started hitting on her, so I was off the hook, ha ha.
But Holy Shit did that freak me out for a minute. Anyway, Richie could see I wanted to chat with Evie a little so he led Francine over to meet the rest of the band. Evie and I got some tea from the kitchen and stood there and caught up a little. Turns out she did okay for herself after that little dancer gig of hers. She put herself through college and ended up marrying a hockey player and having a family. Francine is her oldest; she has two boys and another girl. Four kids, just like me.
She said she has followed my career all these years, has even seen a show or too. And that she fondly remembers those few weeks we spent together back in the 80s. I smiled at that and assured her I do too. And I wasn't lying; I really do look back on those couple months as a great time in my life. Too bad we have to grow up and move on.
Evie's been married almost 24 years -- turns out the next guy she met after me was The One. I'm happy for her and I told her so. She said she was sorry things didn't work out with me and Dorothea, she remembers me talking about how much I loved her, even back then. I thanked her but told her everything worked out okay; sometimes life doesn't end up like we thought it would. But I told her I'm very much in love with my wife and that I'm the luckiest sonofabitch in the world and I don't for a second take it for granted.
Then we hugged and I gave her a big kiss and thanked her for coming to see me. And I gave her Matt's number, told her to call him if she ever wants passes or tickets or anything. She's always welcome at my show.
That ended up being a nice little encounter. Classy lady, Evie. I'm glad her life turned out well.
Think I'll shake my ass a little extra for her tonight. Just to show her I really did learn something from all those lessons she gave me, ha ha.
Friday, March 25
10:40 am
On the Plane
Headed to Vancouver for the last two shows before our month off.
A whole, blissful month of normal. Of home. Of me and Cate together every day.
Of me recovering from getting my Nuts Cracked, ha ha. And of Cate and I starting this new, exciting chapter of our lives together.
Got the whole family (except Cate, of course) on board the Jovi-Jet. Davey's playing Candy Land with the Chuckleheads, Jess and Steph are off in their little iPhone worlds. Dorothea's reading a book, across the aisle from me.
She looks really pretty today, with her hair all twisted up and her reading glasses on. I've always liked her in her glasses. They make her look almost as smart and sexy as she really is.
I took her out to dinner last night. Just the two of us, no kids or friends in tow. I kinda felt I owed it to her after springing that piece of news on her, about Cate and I starting a family. But I wanted to spend some time with her too, to thank her for being such an amazing woman and a good friend.
After all we've been through it would have been easy for her to be bitter, to make my life Hell. But she's not that way. Not just because we have kids together, but because that's just Dorothea. She's a genuine person. No games, no drama, no pretenses or ulterior motives. She's just who she is. That's the thing I admire most about her, I always have. She's always been the strong one in our relationship, so much stronger than me.
She was the one who was strong enough to walk away, even when we both knew it was over. We'd still be married, living separate lives, if she'd waited on me to make the move. I would have been content, but not happy. Not happy like I am with Cate.
In a way I have Dorothea to thank for Cate, too. I would never have taken that movie role if D hadn't prodded me into it. I never would have gone to Georgia for training. And I never would have met Cate. I'd probably still be wandering through this world alone and incomplete, searching for my other half.
Our evening out was nice. A little hard, a little sad, but ultimately good for us both. Yesterday morning I went to D's room and apologized for what happened at breakfast, but she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. We took the kids out to a museum and lunch and then to the beach, so we didn't really have any time alone when I could talk to her during the day.
Richie offered to babysit the Chuckleheads last night, so I jumped at the offer and convinced Dorothea to let me take her to dinner. I know she was trying to avoid talking to me about Cate, but she relented. We went to this great Spanish place Richie recommended, right on the ocean. Food was great, view was gorgeous. They even had live music, so Dorothea and I danced some.
It was a nice night. Reminded me of those few-and-far-between romantic dinners she and I would occasionally steal away to back when we were married. Maybe if they hadn't been so few-and-far-between we'd still be together.
Anyway, we talked for a long time. Really talked, not just me spilling my guts and her listening and playing shrink to my neuroses, like usual. I started out by apologizing again for blindsiding her with my news. She totally understood -- she knows what a moron I can be, ha ha.
I told her (almost) the whole story, about how Cate has always felt about wanting children, like she didn't deserve them, in a way. And about how bewildered she was to discover she really does want to have a baby. And I told D how excited I was when Cate admitted that to me, how I miss having little ones around the house, especially since Steph's almost a grown woman.
And I admitted I'm secretly hoping we have a little girl.
Dorothea asked me about my surgery, how it works and what the recovery will be like and what the risks are. I told her what I learned from the website and my Doc and from my research. She laughed when I told her about finding those YouTubes, too. I know she wanted to call me a Dumbass, but she refrained, ha ha.
I also told her how scared I was when Cate had her biopsy last month. About how terrified I was that she might have cancer. Dorothea asked me some questions about that, and then she actually ended up teaching me a few things about woman stuff. Turns out she's had problems of her own, fibroids and stuff. She never told me because they started happening toward the end of our marriage and after Romeo, so she just didn't feel like I needed to know.
That made me feel a little hurt, that she didn't tell me that she was having health issues. God knows I don't want anything to happen to her either. But I guess I can't really bitch that she didn't disclose her personal medical issues to me when I didn't tell her about my vasectomy reversal.
Our conversation was good in another sense, too--it made me really think about the gravity of this little Parenthood Project Cate and I are embarking upon. Dorothea, in her usual no-nonsense, no-agenda way, asked me the one question I wasn't prepared to answer: What if it doesn't work?
I assumed she meant the vasectomy reversal, so I brought up the sperm harvesting option. Dorothea pointed out that sperm harvesting would only be relevant if we had to do IVF, which would be a ways down the road and after at least some frustration and disappointment. She also said she didn't only mean my reversal; what if Cate had her own fertility challenges?
That stopped me in my tracks. I told D that Cate's exams were all fine; her gyno gave us thumbs-up. But in the back of my mind I remembered the cautions Dr. Seuss gave us about Cate's age, my age, etc.
I guess I looked worried because D reached over and squeezed my hand. She said she wasn't trying to scare or discourage me, she was just thinking of Cate and wondering if it would be hard for her, emotionally. And if it would be hard for me since I so clearly have my hopes sky-high about being a Daddy again.
I kinda stumbled around that answer for a minute, then I realized the truth. I'd be crushed. Ever since Cate even mentioned the idea of us having a baby I've been over the moon, so excited I can hardly stand it. I was praying she'd say yes, that she wanted to have my child, and when she did I felt like I was flying. And if it doesn't happen.... well, I don't even want to think about it. Yes, it would be disappointing to Cate but it would be heartbreaking for me.
I admitted all that to Dorothea and she actually got tears in her eyes. She said it was because she could tell how much I want this and she doesn't like the thought of me going through that pain. But I think at least a little of her sadness was because I want it so much with Cate. What I used to want with Dorothea, and her only.
Wow, when I read back over this it sounds like the evening was a total downer. But in reality it wasn't. It was a good talk, an honest one. The kind we've always had, I've always needed. And I still feel like a shit for blindsiding Dorothea in front of Richie, but what's done is done. She's forgiven me, I have to let it go.
After we got through the hard part we talked about anything and everything -- the world, the band, the Foundation, her work with the school, the kids, politics, religion... Hell, even sex. The Big 3 no-nos of dinner conversation are supposed to be Politics, Religion, and Sex, right? Well, we hit 'em all, ha ha. And we drank wine and slow-danced and smiled and laughed and held each other, almost like we used to.
We closed down the restaurant. I was actually sad when it was over. I think Dorothea was too.
So onward and upward with both our lives. Together but apart. One thing for sure, things aren't gonna get easier, they're gonna get crazier. Especially as the Chuckleheads get older. And when Baby Bongiovi #5 comes along... Well, they'll get even crazier and harder... and better. But I'm glad to know Dorothea will be one of the first ones at the hospital to welcome her to the family.
Class act, my ex-wife.
And so is my now-Wife. Yesterday when I called Cate and sniveled "Baby, I have something to tell you..." I got the expected answer. A big sigh and "What did you do now?" When I told her what happened Cate called me an idiot -- deservedly so -- and asked if Dorothea was okay. At that point I didn't know, but I filled Cate in this morning.
Surprisingly Cate was okay with my little slip of the tongue. She pointed out that I was probably gonna have to tell them soon anyway, otherwise how would I explain the frozen peas in my pants and the fact that I had to hobble around and not work out for the next month or so? Good point. I hadn't thought that far ahead.
But as for the "Hey, we're gonna have a baby!" announcement, she said we should probably keep that under our hats until she's actually pregnant. It may take a long time and we don't want it leaking to the press--or to my parents, ha ha.
She also said she doesn't think we should tell the kids yet; Jakey and Romeo probably won't care but Jess and Steph may be a different story. Cate said I should probably talk to Dorothea about when to tell them. I tend to agree. Other than that if we want to tell close friends we trust, Cate doesn't have a problem with that. But otherwise, we need to keep it quiet.
I think that's pretty sound advice from wise counsel. That's why Cate is lots smarter than me. She never seems to find herself in these crazy situations like I do.
Maybe it's just because she's better at covering things up. She knows how to hide the evidence.
Anyway, two more shows, two more nights in a hotel room until I'm back with my Baby. I'm gonna hug and kiss and squeeze and make love to her and tell her how much I missed her.
And then the fun begins.
On the Plane
Headed to Vancouver for the last two shows before our month off.
A whole, blissful month of normal. Of home. Of me and Cate together every day.
Of me recovering from getting my Nuts Cracked, ha ha. And of Cate and I starting this new, exciting chapter of our lives together.
Got the whole family (except Cate, of course) on board the Jovi-Jet. Davey's playing Candy Land with the Chuckleheads, Jess and Steph are off in their little iPhone worlds. Dorothea's reading a book, across the aisle from me.
She looks really pretty today, with her hair all twisted up and her reading glasses on. I've always liked her in her glasses. They make her look almost as smart and sexy as she really is.
I took her out to dinner last night. Just the two of us, no kids or friends in tow. I kinda felt I owed it to her after springing that piece of news on her, about Cate and I starting a family. But I wanted to spend some time with her too, to thank her for being such an amazing woman and a good friend.
After all we've been through it would have been easy for her to be bitter, to make my life Hell. But she's not that way. Not just because we have kids together, but because that's just Dorothea. She's a genuine person. No games, no drama, no pretenses or ulterior motives. She's just who she is. That's the thing I admire most about her, I always have. She's always been the strong one in our relationship, so much stronger than me.
She was the one who was strong enough to walk away, even when we both knew it was over. We'd still be married, living separate lives, if she'd waited on me to make the move. I would have been content, but not happy. Not happy like I am with Cate.
In a way I have Dorothea to thank for Cate, too. I would never have taken that movie role if D hadn't prodded me into it. I never would have gone to Georgia for training. And I never would have met Cate. I'd probably still be wandering through this world alone and incomplete, searching for my other half.
Our evening out was nice. A little hard, a little sad, but ultimately good for us both. Yesterday morning I went to D's room and apologized for what happened at breakfast, but she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. We took the kids out to a museum and lunch and then to the beach, so we didn't really have any time alone when I could talk to her during the day.
Richie offered to babysit the Chuckleheads last night, so I jumped at the offer and convinced Dorothea to let me take her to dinner. I know she was trying to avoid talking to me about Cate, but she relented. We went to this great Spanish place Richie recommended, right on the ocean. Food was great, view was gorgeous. They even had live music, so Dorothea and I danced some.
It was a nice night. Reminded me of those few-and-far-between romantic dinners she and I would occasionally steal away to back when we were married. Maybe if they hadn't been so few-and-far-between we'd still be together.
Anyway, we talked for a long time. Really talked, not just me spilling my guts and her listening and playing shrink to my neuroses, like usual. I started out by apologizing again for blindsiding her with my news. She totally understood -- she knows what a moron I can be, ha ha.
I told her (almost) the whole story, about how Cate has always felt about wanting children, like she didn't deserve them, in a way. And about how bewildered she was to discover she really does want to have a baby. And I told D how excited I was when Cate admitted that to me, how I miss having little ones around the house, especially since Steph's almost a grown woman.
And I admitted I'm secretly hoping we have a little girl.
Dorothea asked me about my surgery, how it works and what the recovery will be like and what the risks are. I told her what I learned from the website and my Doc and from my research. She laughed when I told her about finding those YouTubes, too. I know she wanted to call me a Dumbass, but she refrained, ha ha.
I also told her how scared I was when Cate had her biopsy last month. About how terrified I was that she might have cancer. Dorothea asked me some questions about that, and then she actually ended up teaching me a few things about woman stuff. Turns out she's had problems of her own, fibroids and stuff. She never told me because they started happening toward the end of our marriage and after Romeo, so she just didn't feel like I needed to know.
That made me feel a little hurt, that she didn't tell me that she was having health issues. God knows I don't want anything to happen to her either. But I guess I can't really bitch that she didn't disclose her personal medical issues to me when I didn't tell her about my vasectomy reversal.
Our conversation was good in another sense, too--it made me really think about the gravity of this little Parenthood Project Cate and I are embarking upon. Dorothea, in her usual no-nonsense, no-agenda way, asked me the one question I wasn't prepared to answer: What if it doesn't work?
I assumed she meant the vasectomy reversal, so I brought up the sperm harvesting option. Dorothea pointed out that sperm harvesting would only be relevant if we had to do IVF, which would be a ways down the road and after at least some frustration and disappointment. She also said she didn't only mean my reversal; what if Cate had her own fertility challenges?
That stopped me in my tracks. I told D that Cate's exams were all fine; her gyno gave us thumbs-up. But in the back of my mind I remembered the cautions Dr. Seuss gave us about Cate's age, my age, etc.
I guess I looked worried because D reached over and squeezed my hand. She said she wasn't trying to scare or discourage me, she was just thinking of Cate and wondering if it would be hard for her, emotionally. And if it would be hard for me since I so clearly have my hopes sky-high about being a Daddy again.
I kinda stumbled around that answer for a minute, then I realized the truth. I'd be crushed. Ever since Cate even mentioned the idea of us having a baby I've been over the moon, so excited I can hardly stand it. I was praying she'd say yes, that she wanted to have my child, and when she did I felt like I was flying. And if it doesn't happen.... well, I don't even want to think about it. Yes, it would be disappointing to Cate but it would be heartbreaking for me.
I admitted all that to Dorothea and she actually got tears in her eyes. She said it was because she could tell how much I want this and she doesn't like the thought of me going through that pain. But I think at least a little of her sadness was because I want it so much with Cate. What I used to want with Dorothea, and her only.
Wow, when I read back over this it sounds like the evening was a total downer. But in reality it wasn't. It was a good talk, an honest one. The kind we've always had, I've always needed. And I still feel like a shit for blindsiding Dorothea in front of Richie, but what's done is done. She's forgiven me, I have to let it go.
After we got through the hard part we talked about anything and everything -- the world, the band, the Foundation, her work with the school, the kids, politics, religion... Hell, even sex. The Big 3 no-nos of dinner conversation are supposed to be Politics, Religion, and Sex, right? Well, we hit 'em all, ha ha. And we drank wine and slow-danced and smiled and laughed and held each other, almost like we used to.
We closed down the restaurant. I was actually sad when it was over. I think Dorothea was too.
So onward and upward with both our lives. Together but apart. One thing for sure, things aren't gonna get easier, they're gonna get crazier. Especially as the Chuckleheads get older. And when Baby Bongiovi #5 comes along... Well, they'll get even crazier and harder... and better. But I'm glad to know Dorothea will be one of the first ones at the hospital to welcome her to the family.
Class act, my ex-wife.
And so is my now-Wife. Yesterday when I called Cate and sniveled "Baby, I have something to tell you..." I got the expected answer. A big sigh and "What did you do now?" When I told her what happened Cate called me an idiot -- deservedly so -- and asked if Dorothea was okay. At that point I didn't know, but I filled Cate in this morning.
Surprisingly Cate was okay with my little slip of the tongue. She pointed out that I was probably gonna have to tell them soon anyway, otherwise how would I explain the frozen peas in my pants and the fact that I had to hobble around and not work out for the next month or so? Good point. I hadn't thought that far ahead.
But as for the "Hey, we're gonna have a baby!" announcement, she said we should probably keep that under our hats until she's actually pregnant. It may take a long time and we don't want it leaking to the press--or to my parents, ha ha.
She also said she doesn't think we should tell the kids yet; Jakey and Romeo probably won't care but Jess and Steph may be a different story. Cate said I should probably talk to Dorothea about when to tell them. I tend to agree. Other than that if we want to tell close friends we trust, Cate doesn't have a problem with that. But otherwise, we need to keep it quiet.
I think that's pretty sound advice from wise counsel. That's why Cate is lots smarter than me. She never seems to find herself in these crazy situations like I do.
Maybe it's just because she's better at covering things up. She knows how to hide the evidence.
Anyway, two more shows, two more nights in a hotel room until I'm back with my Baby. I'm gonna hug and kiss and squeeze and make love to her and tell her how much I missed her.
And then the fun begins.
Thursday, March 24
9:15 am
Richie's Guest House
Think I fucked up. Big time.
I was sitting at the breakfast table this morning with Richie and Dorothea and Jake and Romey, talking about what we were going to do today. Richie had the Today Show on that flat-screen in his kitchen and we were kinda half-listening to it while we were chatting.
Richie was teasing Romeo about taking him to the zoo and putting him in the monkey cage and Jakey was laughing and Dorothea was just watching them and smiling while she drank her coffee. I had one eye on the TV, waiting for the weather forecast to see if it was supposed to clear up so maybe we could hit the beach later and see some actual sun.
Well Natalie Morales was doing the news, and she's hot, so of course she caught my attention. She was doing a little feel-good piece on this YouTube video that's gone viral, of a cute little baby laughing and giggling then freezing when he sees/hears his Mama blow her nose. I saw it a couple days ago, it's adorable. Anyway, they were showing the video and I got everybody's attention and told them to watch. We all got a good chuckle out of it.
After Natalie went on to another story I was just sitting there grinning and sipping at my coffee and thinking about how funny that baby was and kinda daydreaming of all the fun little moments like that Cate and I have to look forward to. I guess I must have chuckled to myself or something because Richie noticed and asked me what was so funny. Without thinking I answered him honestly -- that I can't wait until Cate and I have a little one running around the house.
The second the words were out of my mouth I thought Oh FUCK! I know I grimaced, and I closed my eyes. Every bit of noise except the TV went silent, just stopped. Even Jake and Romeo were quiet, though I don't think they knew why. They must have just picked up that something was strange.
When I opened my eyes again Richie was just staring at me with his mouth hanging open, then he got his gigantic grin on his face and said "Dude, that's AWESOME!" He stuck out his hand across the table, and of course I shook it.
And then I looked at Dorothea. She looked like she had seen a ghost. When our eyes met she quickly looked away, took a big gulp of her coffee and tried to hide her expression behind her mug. She pulled it together fast, though. She gave me a little smile and said "Johnny, that's wonderful." But I could hear the tremble in her voice.
Christ, I didn't want to tell her like that. Actually, I didn't want to tell her or Richie or anybody else until Cate was ready for them to know. Hell, we hadn't even really talked about telling anyone yet, because her actually getting pregnant is still a ways off.
I know Dorothea's shocked. After all, when Romeo was born I said I was done, my family was complete. She went with me when I got my vasectomy. She's the mother of my children, the only woman who can say that. For now, anyway. I hope she's not angry or threatened that Cate and I want to have a baby. It won't change how important she is, she will always be, to me.
Her head must be spinning right now. God, I hope she's not pissed or resentful. If I know Dorothea she's telling herself this is a good thing, she wants me to be happy, it's none of her business because she's not my wife anymore. But I also know her well enough to know it must hurt, too, to think of me sharing a child with someone else. I'm not naive enough to think it wouldn't affect me if she were to bear another man's child, even though she's not my wife anymore.
I need to talk to Dorothea, to apologize for blindsiding her with this. To tell her the whole story.
Well, maybe not the whole story. I don't think D needs to know that she's actually the one who set this whole chain of events in motion, in a way. She doesn't need to know how much her angry words hurt Cate, back when the Runaway incident happened. That's not my secret to tell; it's Cate's. Plus it would make Cate sound like she wants to have my baby out of spite or something.
Oh Jesus, this is more complicated than I thought.
Not to mention that I have to tell my wife I opened my big yap and let the cat out of the bag.
Shit. Guess I better call Cate and beg forgiveness. Again. I should have that move perfected by now.
Richie's Guest House
Think I fucked up. Big time.
I was sitting at the breakfast table this morning with Richie and Dorothea and Jake and Romey, talking about what we were going to do today. Richie had the Today Show on that flat-screen in his kitchen and we were kinda half-listening to it while we were chatting.
Richie was teasing Romeo about taking him to the zoo and putting him in the monkey cage and Jakey was laughing and Dorothea was just watching them and smiling while she drank her coffee. I had one eye on the TV, waiting for the weather forecast to see if it was supposed to clear up so maybe we could hit the beach later and see some actual sun.
Well Natalie Morales was doing the news, and she's hot, so of course she caught my attention. She was doing a little feel-good piece on this YouTube video that's gone viral, of a cute little baby laughing and giggling then freezing when he sees/hears his Mama blow her nose. I saw it a couple days ago, it's adorable. Anyway, they were showing the video and I got everybody's attention and told them to watch. We all got a good chuckle out of it.
After Natalie went on to another story I was just sitting there grinning and sipping at my coffee and thinking about how funny that baby was and kinda daydreaming of all the fun little moments like that Cate and I have to look forward to. I guess I must have chuckled to myself or something because Richie noticed and asked me what was so funny. Without thinking I answered him honestly -- that I can't wait until Cate and I have a little one running around the house.
The second the words were out of my mouth I thought Oh FUCK! I know I grimaced, and I closed my eyes. Every bit of noise except the TV went silent, just stopped. Even Jake and Romeo were quiet, though I don't think they knew why. They must have just picked up that something was strange.
When I opened my eyes again Richie was just staring at me with his mouth hanging open, then he got his gigantic grin on his face and said "Dude, that's AWESOME!" He stuck out his hand across the table, and of course I shook it.
And then I looked at Dorothea. She looked like she had seen a ghost. When our eyes met she quickly looked away, took a big gulp of her coffee and tried to hide her expression behind her mug. She pulled it together fast, though. She gave me a little smile and said "Johnny, that's wonderful." But I could hear the tremble in her voice.
Christ, I didn't want to tell her like that. Actually, I didn't want to tell her or Richie or anybody else until Cate was ready for them to know. Hell, we hadn't even really talked about telling anyone yet, because her actually getting pregnant is still a ways off.
I know Dorothea's shocked. After all, when Romeo was born I said I was done, my family was complete. She went with me when I got my vasectomy. She's the mother of my children, the only woman who can say that. For now, anyway. I hope she's not angry or threatened that Cate and I want to have a baby. It won't change how important she is, she will always be, to me.
Her head must be spinning right now. God, I hope she's not pissed or resentful. If I know Dorothea she's telling herself this is a good thing, she wants me to be happy, it's none of her business because she's not my wife anymore. But I also know her well enough to know it must hurt, too, to think of me sharing a child with someone else. I'm not naive enough to think it wouldn't affect me if she were to bear another man's child, even though she's not my wife anymore.
I need to talk to Dorothea, to apologize for blindsiding her with this. To tell her the whole story.
Well, maybe not the whole story. I don't think D needs to know that she's actually the one who set this whole chain of events in motion, in a way. She doesn't need to know how much her angry words hurt Cate, back when the Runaway incident happened. That's not my secret to tell; it's Cate's. Plus it would make Cate sound like she wants to have my baby out of spite or something.
Oh Jesus, this is more complicated than I thought.
Not to mention that I have to tell my wife I opened my big yap and let the cat out of the bag.
Shit. Guess I better call Cate and beg forgiveness. Again. I should have that move perfected by now.
Wednesday, March 23
12:45 am
Venue
Just got off the phone with Cate. She's home, just got in less than an hour ago.
Wish I was home with her.
She's exhausted. I could hear the weariness in her voice. She said she hasn't slept much this last week; she was dying to crawl into our bed and just collapse. She's not going in to the office tomorrow, she's just going to stay home and sleep until she wakes up. I told her I would give anything to be there to wrap my arms around her and hold her while she sleeps, all night, all day, all damned week if that's what it comes to.
Cate told me I was sweet and made that throaty little hoarse chuckle that warms my heart. Then she said no offense, but she doesn't want anybody around right now. She just needs to curl up and lick her wounds and recover from what turned out to be a brutal week.
She actually sang a little parody of my song... Sittin' here wasted and wounded, at our kitchen table.... That made me smile. Poor Baby's about to drop on the spot and she's cracking wise.
That's one of many reasons I love her dearly. And I told her so.
Then you know what my wife told me? She told me she's proud of me, proud to be my wife. Because I have such a kind heart.
That choked me up a little, I didn't know where the Hell that came from. I just said "thank you, Baby..." I mean, what else could I say to that? Then she told me why.
She was surfing on her phone and saw an online article about my backstage visitors. That Idaho paper posted the update to Justin's story, with photos of him meeting me. Cate said in one of the pics where I'm talking to Justin, the smile on my face is so unguardedly humble and sweet it made her cry. She actually started to cry, because she was so overwhelmed and amazed and thankful that I'm her husband.
Me. The egotistical control-freak asshole. She's thankful for me.
Hell, I'm thankful for her.
I didn't want to keep Cate up for long, but she wanted to hear the whole story about meeting Justin and his family so I told her everything. How great he is, how amazing and loving his family are. They are such genuinely good people, with amazing grace and strength and humility. I was honored to meet them all, especially Justin.
It made me proud that my music has spoken to him all these years, helped him through what I'm sure were some unthinkably hard times as well as some amazingly good ones.
And it made me realize how damned lucky I am to have a family who is happy and healthy and loving and loved.
So after telling Cate about the highlight of my night I told her to go crawl in bed so I could sing her to sleep. She didn't argue at all. It took her a bit to get from the kitchen to the bedroom -- she's really tired, ha ha. But I could hear her rustling around in the bed linens, then she sighed and told me she was tucked in. And that she found my t-shirt right where I left it, under her pillow. And that the smell of my cologne makes her miss me even more.
I told her the quarter in the jukebox was hers; I'd sing her anything she wanted to hear. She said she wanted to hear whatever was in my heart, whatever I felt like singing to her.
I sang Every Beat of My Heart.
5:40 pm
Richie's House
Waiting on a woman. As usual, ha ha.
Got a big date tonight. A double date, actually. With Richie. Haven't done that in quite awhile.
This one will most definitely turn out WAY different than the doubles Richie and I used to do, heh heh.
We're taking Steph and Ava out for dinner and a movie. A little Daddy-Daughter bonding on our night off. It's not often the girls get to spend time together anymore, so they're excited.
They've both changed a lot, our daughters. Growing up on opposite coasts and in different environments they don't have as much in common as they used to. But they both can shop like champions, ha ha. That's the Universal Girl-Language, I've learned. Apparently that's what Ava and Steph spent most of the day doing -- shopping. I can feel my credit card groaning in my wallet as I write this.
Richie was nice enough to extend an invitation to the Bongiovi Clan to bunk at Casa de Sambora tonight and tomorrow. We'll head up to Vancouver Friday morning for the last couple shows before our month off. Flew back in this morning and just hung out here at the house today. Weather was too shitty to go to the beach.
When we got here Jesse disappeared into Richie's man-cave and is now glued to some basketball game. He emerged a few minutes ago to claim his share of the pizza we ordered for the boys, then disappeared again. I'd say he's set for the evening, ha ha.
Richie had a lot of fun playing with the Chuckleheads this afternoon. And with Russell. Apparently Russell has forgotten all about me; he had no interest in hanging out on my shoulder or playing in my hair. Romey and Russell were all about Uncle Mookie today. Romeo said Russell was climbing all over Richie, and of course Richie being the big goof he is was squirming and giggling like he was being tickled to death by an imaginary weasel.
I could go for the obvious ferret-in-the-pants joke here, but I'll refrain, ha ha.
Richie's so great with Jake and Romeo, mostly because he's just a big kid himself. Richie loves kids. He's made it no secret he'd have ten more if he could find a woman who'd do that for him. Well, I'm sure there are plenty of volunteers, ha ha.
But Richie's an old-fashioned guy despite his playboy rock-and-roll image. He falls in and out of love pretty easy but deep down he's just Adam and Joan's Good Boy. When he finds the right woman he'll settle down again. And hopefully he'll be able to start a second family, maybe have a couple boys of his own to chase around.
Like me and Cate, starting all over again.
I talked to My Wife a couple hours ago. She still sounded kinda out of it, really tired. She said after she hung up with me last night she went right to sleep and didn't wake up until after noon today. And she was still in bed when she called me. I teased her a little about that, and Cate said she didn't intend to even get out of her pajamas today, she was just going to order some Chinese food and crawl right back in bed and stay there until tomorrow.
I told her not to get lo mein on the sheets, ha ha. And I told her we'd do that same exact thing when I get home -- stay in bed all day, even for meals. Sounds pretty damned good to me.
I dropped a couple more pretty heavy hints about her coming out to Vancouver for the weekend, but Cate shut me down fast. She said she has a ton to catch up on since she had to fly out without warning last week, and the last thing she wants to do is get on another plane.
She said she'll see me on Sunday when I get home, and we'll catch up and talk about the busy week ahead. Romeo's birthday is next week, the kids are still on Spring Break, and of course we have our little date with the Doc on Friday.
So yeah, we have a lot to talk about.
Well, even though she's on the other coast at least it's nice to think of Cate all snuggled in our bed, waiting for me to come home. I can't wait to get there. We have some warming up to do, a little baby-making practice before I get benched for a couple weeks after Doc reconnects the wires.
Just a few days away, Baby.
But first, there's a lovely young woman who just appeared in the doorway, ready for her date with a charming, dapper, Sinatra-esque Rock Star, ha ha.
Okay, so I'm no Brendan, but hey -- she could do worse.
Venue
Just got off the phone with Cate. She's home, just got in less than an hour ago.
Wish I was home with her.
She's exhausted. I could hear the weariness in her voice. She said she hasn't slept much this last week; she was dying to crawl into our bed and just collapse. She's not going in to the office tomorrow, she's just going to stay home and sleep until she wakes up. I told her I would give anything to be there to wrap my arms around her and hold her while she sleeps, all night, all day, all damned week if that's what it comes to.
Cate told me I was sweet and made that throaty little hoarse chuckle that warms my heart. Then she said no offense, but she doesn't want anybody around right now. She just needs to curl up and lick her wounds and recover from what turned out to be a brutal week.
She actually sang a little parody of my song... Sittin' here wasted and wounded, at our kitchen table.... That made me smile. Poor Baby's about to drop on the spot and she's cracking wise.
That's one of many reasons I love her dearly. And I told her so.
Then you know what my wife told me? She told me she's proud of me, proud to be my wife. Because I have such a kind heart.
That choked me up a little, I didn't know where the Hell that came from. I just said "thank you, Baby..." I mean, what else could I say to that? Then she told me why.
She was surfing on her phone and saw an online article about my backstage visitors. That Idaho paper posted the update to Justin's story, with photos of him meeting me. Cate said in one of the pics where I'm talking to Justin, the smile on my face is so unguardedly humble and sweet it made her cry. She actually started to cry, because she was so overwhelmed and amazed and thankful that I'm her husband.
Me. The egotistical control-freak asshole. She's thankful for me.
Hell, I'm thankful for her.
I didn't want to keep Cate up for long, but she wanted to hear the whole story about meeting Justin and his family so I told her everything. How great he is, how amazing and loving his family are. They are such genuinely good people, with amazing grace and strength and humility. I was honored to meet them all, especially Justin.
It made me proud that my music has spoken to him all these years, helped him through what I'm sure were some unthinkably hard times as well as some amazingly good ones.
And it made me realize how damned lucky I am to have a family who is happy and healthy and loving and loved.
So after telling Cate about the highlight of my night I told her to go crawl in bed so I could sing her to sleep. She didn't argue at all. It took her a bit to get from the kitchen to the bedroom -- she's really tired, ha ha. But I could hear her rustling around in the bed linens, then she sighed and told me she was tucked in. And that she found my t-shirt right where I left it, under her pillow. And that the smell of my cologne makes her miss me even more.
I told her the quarter in the jukebox was hers; I'd sing her anything she wanted to hear. She said she wanted to hear whatever was in my heart, whatever I felt like singing to her.
I sang Every Beat of My Heart.
5:40 pm
Richie's House
Waiting on a woman. As usual, ha ha.
Got a big date tonight. A double date, actually. With Richie. Haven't done that in quite awhile.
This one will most definitely turn out WAY different than the doubles Richie and I used to do, heh heh.
We're taking Steph and Ava out for dinner and a movie. A little Daddy-Daughter bonding on our night off. It's not often the girls get to spend time together anymore, so they're excited.
They've both changed a lot, our daughters. Growing up on opposite coasts and in different environments they don't have as much in common as they used to. But they both can shop like champions, ha ha. That's the Universal Girl-Language, I've learned. Apparently that's what Ava and Steph spent most of the day doing -- shopping. I can feel my credit card groaning in my wallet as I write this.
Richie was nice enough to extend an invitation to the Bongiovi Clan to bunk at Casa de Sambora tonight and tomorrow. We'll head up to Vancouver Friday morning for the last couple shows before our month off. Flew back in this morning and just hung out here at the house today. Weather was too shitty to go to the beach.
When we got here Jesse disappeared into Richie's man-cave and is now glued to some basketball game. He emerged a few minutes ago to claim his share of the pizza we ordered for the boys, then disappeared again. I'd say he's set for the evening, ha ha.
Richie had a lot of fun playing with the Chuckleheads this afternoon. And with Russell. Apparently Russell has forgotten all about me; he had no interest in hanging out on my shoulder or playing in my hair. Romey and Russell were all about Uncle Mookie today. Romeo said Russell was climbing all over Richie, and of course Richie being the big goof he is was squirming and giggling like he was being tickled to death by an imaginary weasel.
I could go for the obvious ferret-in-the-pants joke here, but I'll refrain, ha ha.
Richie's so great with Jake and Romeo, mostly because he's just a big kid himself. Richie loves kids. He's made it no secret he'd have ten more if he could find a woman who'd do that for him. Well, I'm sure there are plenty of volunteers, ha ha.
But Richie's an old-fashioned guy despite his playboy rock-and-roll image. He falls in and out of love pretty easy but deep down he's just Adam and Joan's Good Boy. When he finds the right woman he'll settle down again. And hopefully he'll be able to start a second family, maybe have a couple boys of his own to chase around.
Like me and Cate, starting all over again.
I talked to My Wife a couple hours ago. She still sounded kinda out of it, really tired. She said after she hung up with me last night she went right to sleep and didn't wake up until after noon today. And she was still in bed when she called me. I teased her a little about that, and Cate said she didn't intend to even get out of her pajamas today, she was just going to order some Chinese food and crawl right back in bed and stay there until tomorrow.
I told her not to get lo mein on the sheets, ha ha. And I told her we'd do that same exact thing when I get home -- stay in bed all day, even for meals. Sounds pretty damned good to me.
I dropped a couple more pretty heavy hints about her coming out to Vancouver for the weekend, but Cate shut me down fast. She said she has a ton to catch up on since she had to fly out without warning last week, and the last thing she wants to do is get on another plane.
She said she'll see me on Sunday when I get home, and we'll catch up and talk about the busy week ahead. Romeo's birthday is next week, the kids are still on Spring Break, and of course we have our little date with the Doc on Friday.
So yeah, we have a lot to talk about.
Well, even though she's on the other coast at least it's nice to think of Cate all snuggled in our bed, waiting for me to come home. I can't wait to get there. We have some warming up to do, a little baby-making practice before I get benched for a couple weeks after Doc reconnects the wires.
Just a few days away, Baby.
But first, there's a lovely young woman who just appeared in the doorway, ready for her date with a charming, dapper, Sinatra-esque Rock Star, ha ha.
Okay, so I'm no Brendan, but hey -- she could do worse.
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