Wednesday, March 2

3:00 am
Bed

Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy Birthday to Me...
I still don't need Viagra...
Happy Birthday to Me...

Apparently Cate has suspended my doghouse stay, at least temporarily.

Nothing like coming home to new lingerie, heh heh.  She outdid herself this time.  Came home to find my wife decked out in a Wonder Woman costume.   Bracelets, headband, red patent go-go boots, blue starry hotpants, the works.  Jesus Christ.  Wonder Woman is fucking HOT.

She even has the golden lasso of truth.  Good thing she didn't use it on me.

Note to self:  Hide Golden Lasso.  Even if it isn't real.

No sense taking chances.


4:15 pm
Dressing Room

Hiding away from the chaos for a minute to take a breath.  All day things have been happening a thousand miles an hour -- press, meet and greets, old friends stopping by with birthday wishes, birthday cake, the kids...

I am truly blessed to have so many people in my life who care about me.

Just had a piece of birthday cake.  I'll probably regret it later, but what the fuck.  It's my birthday.  I deserve cake.  It was awesome.

That cake was something else -- it was HUGE.  The look on Romeo's face when he walked in and saw that thing was priceless.  He wanted to climb on it, ha ha.  Yeah, that would have worked out well.

Not sure it was a great idea to let him or Jakey have cake in the middle of the afternoon.  Now they're both spun up more than usual.  Yet another good reason for me to hide right now.

The kids gave me their presents when they got here.  I love that they all gave me something special, uniquely from them.  Steph gave me a painting she did in art class.  It's an abstract, all shades of blues and greens and purples.  It's gorgeous.  Gonna hang it in my office back home.

Jess isn't quite so artsy, but he gave me something really cool and meaningful, a photo he took of me in the locker room at Pats camp last fall.  He took it when I was talking to some of the players, tossing around a football.  I didn't even know he took that picture.  It perfectly captures my love of the sport and how excited I was in that moment -- I look like a little kid with that sparkle in my eye and that goofy grin.

On the back of the frame he wrote a little note, thanking me for being an awesome Dad and for sharing that day with him.  Choked me up.  Jess is one helluva kid.  I'm proud to be his Dad.

The Chuckleheads both made drawings for me.  Jakey's is of me onstage.  I have a microphone in my hand and I'm singing.  Of course Richie had to point out that Jake's perspective was dead-on:  in his drawing my head is about 3 times too big for my skinny little crayon body and my mouth is big enough to drive a truck into.  Like he can talk.  If Jake drew a picture of Richie his feet would be longer than his legs.

Romeo's drawing is of me on the beach.  I'm wearing my usual swim trunks and a hat and laying on a towel.  There's this long brown thing on the towel beside me that I didn't recognize.  Wondering why my youngest son would draw a picture of me laying next to a giant turd, I asked Romey what it was.  It's a ferret.  His imaginary pet ferret, Russell.

Apparently Romeo has an imaginary pet ferret since Dorothea won't let him have a real one and Santa Claus sucks for not bringing him one, ha ha.  I didn't ask why it's name is "Russell."  Not sure I want to know.

Dorothea's gift was pretty funny, I gotta admit.  It's a GI Joe doll, covered in makeup.  Smartass.

She also gave me a framed-up snapshot of the boys all cammoed up from their adventure the other day.  I guess when she got off the phone from reaming me she took a minute to calm down and saw the humor of the situation, at least enough to take a few photos.  But I have no doubt she's filed that little incident and my reaction away in her mind and she will remind me of it in the future.

But the best gift of all I got from Cate.  It's the only thing I wanted, the only present that matters.

When she got here earlier she told me she needed to speak to me privately and led me in here.  We closed the door and she slipped into my arms and smiled up at me, then told me she got a call from Dr. Seuss as she was getting ready to leave the house.

Her biopsy results are negative.  Everything's normal.

That was the best news ever.  I teared up when she told me.  Then I hugged and kissed her for all I was worth.

Once I recovered I told her first thing tomorrow I'm calling my Doc and pushing him to get me a priority appointment for a consult with that urologist so we can schedule my vasectomy reversal.  I wanna get started baby-making as soon as possible.

It doesn't suck to be me today.  Surrounded by friends and family, my wife is healthy, I'm getting ready to go out on that big stage in front of a packed arena, on my home turf, and do the job I love.  I'm one lucky 49-year-old bastard.

Gonna go shake that horseshoe in my ass like I'm 25, ha ha.